If women faced a real safety risk in dating, then their behaviour would represent it

Vlad_The_Great_2 · 2026-06-02T11:23:10+00:00

Imagine being 5 inches short, 40 pounds lighter, and 2.5x weaker than the average random stranger you decided to go on a date with. Enough women have horror stories of some random guy getting creepy, angry, touchy, or violent. If she has safety concerns , I’m not going to diminish that.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-06-02T11:49:14+00:00

It’s called cognitive dissonance. Nearly every woman has had a moment in her life when she was play fighting or wrestling with a guy friend or family member and had the realization that if they wanted to they could hurt or kill her. The reality of being the actual physical weaker sex. Nearly all women have been sexually harassed. Lots of women have been sexually assaulted. More if you add in grey area assault. If we actively thought about everything that could go wrong, all the time, no human would be able to function. We still have the knowledge about it. Sometimes it’s more surface level and it pricks our “instincts” more. Sometimes it’s further pushed down. I give my location, name of the guy, and a picture of the guy to friends and my mom when I go on a date. I think about what I would or could do in certain situations. We consciously and subconsciously do things to live in this world. Being attracted to men, Wanting men, Having men be in our lives is a risk.

OffTheRedSand · 2026-06-02T06:31:21+00:00

The women who are not dating due to safety are simply not dating due to safety and take themselves out of the dating pool so you don’t see them there.

Male to female ratio in most places for dating be it apps or bars or clubs are always skewed towards males, meaning women do try to dodge “risky” places.

Some don’t tho and it’s bound to happen, because women are a lot, half the population.

I’m a gay guy who haven’t dated in a couple of years mainly due to safety, had a couple of bad experiences and just low key swore off it. Yet many gay guys still date ON GRINDR which is dangerous, even still here in the Middle East.

The fact that they’re still dating and seeking sex here doesn’t mean the safety risk isn’t there, people like me who aren’t dating just aren’t represented because how can you represent people who aren’t participating?

mobjack · 2026-06-02T10:01:57+00:00

I am stronger than 98% of women. I really don't have fear of being overpowered by a woman.

Now imagine being significantly weaker than everyone you date.

Axis_Control · 2026-06-02T11:55:10+00:00

Its because they think it won't happen to them.

Like when I gave 2 guys my phone number I didn't think there was a chance one would start harassing me and calling me from a private number for months.

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-06-02T11:56:01+00:00

What would this look like in your mind? Because in my mind I did want a husband so I had to date. So I took precautions:

Make sure multiple people know who I'm going out with, when, where, and how long it will reasonably last.
Don't go out with strangers or cold approaches, actually know the person.
Drive yourself and leave by yourself.
Casually mention having a psychotically obsessed mother who will kill them at least once during the date and an Uncle that will bury them on the farmland homestead. (You'd be shocked how easily you can get this in a conversation).
Always be watching your drink.
Avoid where possible being out late at night.
No casual sex.

And then eventually, I've added:

Train Martial Arts
Conceal Carry.

mooncake_bites · 2026-06-02T11:05:04+00:00

Ok then let your sister and daughter marry any random man on the street without vetting him at all since they’re SO safe. If all men are good, any random man should do, right? Hire only male babysitters since they are so safe. Go in only the male bathroom with your daughter and change her diaper there. Drop your daughter alone in a room with only men.

idrinkinfantblood · 2026-06-02T07:17:48+00:00

it’s funny you say this, because when my boyfriend and i first started living together, one time he playfully choked me (grabbed my neck unexpectedly) and i almost ended our relationship because of it. i questioned my safety from thereon, until i realized he wasn’t going to kill me. my mom has dated multiple abusive men while i was growing up and it’s convinced me that i’ll end up with a family annihilator one day

kmb218 · 2026-06-02T06:34:08+00:00

Their behavior does represent that. Way less women are seeking out casual sex compared to men. Women also take more safety precautions than men when dating. Generally women are more picky and think twice before engaging with men sexually / romantically.

cb8585b · 2026-06-02T08:04:44+00:00

Great, make sure the next time a man is posting claiming being a male is isolating and he’s seen as a threat make sure to confirm to him that he’s delusional.

Acceptable-Scene-203 · 2026-06-02T07:37:04+00:00

I think a lot of womens' actions in dating do represent it. Using personally controlled birth control, going to public places on dates, sharing locations with friends, and learning basic self defense techniques/staying vigilant are all ways we try to mitigate harm.

It's disingenuous to imply that women are facing that risk just to get cock. Plenty are doing it because they genuinely believe in love and believe being in love is what they need to feel fulfilled.

Similarly, it's disingenuous to assume women all have the same risk profile. Accepting the consequences of the risk doesnt mean you don't think there are any risks. We can suprisinly worry about more than one thing at once too. I can want someone to like me and also manage my own limits.

I'll also say as a middle to upper class, younger gal, sexual violence and predatory men aren't an unusual experience. We just get to brush it off more easily because we can live in safer areas.

Your framing feels...less empathetic than either side deserves.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-06-02T11:03:45+00:00

Women date despite safety risks for the same reason people drive despite car accidents existing: the potential reward is worth managing the risk. Participating in an activity doesn’t prove the risk isn’t real.

You’re also comparing completely different things. Rejection, embarrassment, and awkwardness are common dating experiences. Assault, rape, and murder are far less common, but they’re also far more severe. Frequency and severity aren’t the same thing.

Women’s behaviour actually does reflect concern about safety. Many share their location with friends, meet in public places, avoid being picked up at home, text check-ins, vet men beforehand, and take other precautions. Those aren’t the actions of people who think there’s no risk.

And men being expected to initiate dates doesn’t somehow negate women’s safety concerns. Both can exist at the same time.

theminxisback · 2026-06-02T07:15:03+00:00

It's been 2,320 days since the father of my first born was holding his weight up over my body by my neck with one hand and pinning me down with the other so I couldn't move.

I developed androphobia. Had to have part of my reproductive system removed to stay alive for my kids. Spent a quarter million on court fees, attorneys, psychological care for myself and my child, child support I had to pay him... So many other things... The public humiliation, the smear campaigns, the fact that my entire court case was broadcasted publicly on YouTube. So everyone saw me tell my story on repeat and not be believed. It was fantastic ya know? So amazing to fight for my life and for my right to raise my own children in a safe and healthy environment instead of a hostile one.

I am glad he is ashes now. It's been almost 2 years since the Gods graced me with his death.

Fast forward to present day... I broke diagnosis on several of my diags, I am a professional companion who focuses on trauma and sexual repression therapy, among other things...

And I've now been able to move my amount of consensual sex to 25% from 4% like it was two years ago. It's been a world of a difference.

I still have a hard time trusting men. Or anyone for that matter regardless of gender. I have complex trauma due to decades of ongoing sexual, mental, emotional and physical abuse from men and women and Trans men and women. And yet I still date. I still have sex with all gender indentities. I am married and have a beautiful little polycule and family that I love and adore so much.

And more and more people know my story and see how far I've come to get to where I am now.

6 years ago, I couldn't even go outside. It wasn't safe at all. Today? I still have trouble walking outside, the attention I get in public is primarily negative and insulting. So usually I have to make sure I go out with my live-in partner that way I am not bothered as much.

It's a process, being phobic of men and having complex trauma. While also being a mother, a wife, a lover, and a provider for people in need, which are primarily male identified.

Conquer your fears, as they say. And I would say I very much have and continue to do so daily.

wtknight · 2026-06-02T12:16:23+00:00

Most people don’t alter their behaviors until something happens to them, and plenty of women eventually have something happen to them involving at least male harassment. Someone’s female relatives warning them about men or just reading online stories usually isn’t enough to alter people’s behavior alone when hormones are so powerful. Most people of both genders optimistically think that things happen to other people once in a while, but won’t happen to them personally.

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2026-06-02T07:30:30+00:00

I primarily bring my gun out on dates otherwise it's at home.

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-06-02T06:43:53+00:00

You’ve heard of the man vs bear debate yes?

The women that picked the bear did so because their previous experiences with men showed them they couldn’t trust men and would actively choose a bear over being alone with a strange man.

And then men that got angry about this proved her point that using caution and boundaries around strange men means they’ll going to take it personally and lash out

Demasii · 2026-06-02T11:32:30+00:00

But if that were the case then their behaviour would represent that.

Men's behavior would represent that too but it doesn't by a long shot.

I was making the case the high risk part is why many men are opting out today and seeking alternatives.

But they are not relative to women. You can see that in the imbalance in supply and demand. Women are still very much in demand.

Even I refuse to believe women are that retarded and horny.

Supply and demand. The demand for sex is by men.

Cardi B bragged about how she used to drug and rob men

Cardi B as the example? Really?

Let's be honest

Honestly, look at the supply and demand.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-06-02T12:32:58+00:00

So what about all the women who just don’t date out of safety concern?

PositionStandard6089 · 2026-06-02T16:02:33+00:00

women often do take precautions when dating, like sharing their location with friends, not allowing the man to know their address at first, not leaving her drink unattended.

no, you cannot live your life in constant fear because, what kind of life is that? but there are very real fears we have to consider and steps we take to mitigate risk.

y2kjanelle · 2026-06-02T20:00:38+00:00

no women do not have to live in fear and spend their whole lives inside to “prove” to chronically online losers, that rape and sexual assault are serious, prevalent problems.

plushtoytorture · 2026-06-02T07:00:24+00:00

Just from my own experiences, when I go on a date I A) tell friends where I’ll be and share my location B) how long I plan to be out for and C) like any info I have about the guy, sharing his insta or dating profile with them.

Rejection is really tough, and men definitely face that more than women and more often. But it does feel like comparing a broken leg to playing Russian roulette. One DEFINITELY hurts, is way more common and undeniably sucks. But is unlikely to kill you. Where the other, sure 5 outta 6 you’ll be fine, but that one is real real bad.

Women do make decisions both off of statistics AND their experiences. Can’t let fear of statistics run your whole life but you also can’t fully ignore them either when making decisions.

Fondacey · 2026-06-02T08:13:57+00:00

Thank you for mansplaining our lived experiences. We didn't know that when we experience threats of violence, which we literally do regularly, it is not actually a thing.

Additionally, we must endeavor to center the more important risk threat, i.e. the high risk men face of being rejected. This can be so devastating our species is currently at risk. It's our duty to improve our rate of accessibility to all men. It's on us to save mankind and thus, we must strive to make the male experience a more comfortable experience.

Mission received.

LUCKY_PRE55UR3 · 2026-06-02T11:38:08+00:00

Pretty much everything you just said, OP, informs to me why you were pushed into such a degenerate and desperate philosophy as fundamentalist Redpill. Because you have the kind of views about women that ASSURE me a woman will never see you as a fellow human being... Once they learn what your views and rhetoric are, at any rate.

I'm super glad that Darwinian Evolution still gets to remain in play though it's become a social construct over a physical one.

Redpill men not getting women pregnant, not spreading their poison ideology, NOT putting their offspring through the tr*uma of such an upbringing, et cetera... Well? Some forces in this universe just balance themselves out.

And it makes me glad.

Cheers, 😎

Ok_Fault_9208 · 2026-06-02T09:07:37+00:00

Here's a couple of threads of mine from an old account that feel relevant.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-06-02T15:24:10+00:00

It’s real enough, and it does

KayRay1994 · 2026-06-02T06:38:15+00:00

Wanna throw in actual examples of what you’re talking about? All you’ve done was throw accusations and statements and then proceed to talk about how men are the victims cause they get their feelings hurt. People can’t respond to your argument if all you’ve got is arguments with no basis

BallisticTherapy · 2026-06-02T06:25:18+00:00

This reminds me of the whole bit about choosing the bear. Interesting thought experiment arises when you ask if they would realistically be comfortable in walking around a major metro area like Manhattan where all the men were instead replaced with 600 lb Grizzlies.

AutoModerator · 2026-06-02T06:20:29+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2026-06-02T06:20:29+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

princeofbreads · 2026-06-06T16:23:14+00:00

women are definitely worried about even rejecting a date with a man, considering even doing that has gotten some women killed.

but regardless, we HAVE to take precautions because even if we know statistically we'll probably end up alright, not taking precautions can land you in a worse place. like having your underwear held up in a courtroom while others debate whether your underwear choice indicates you actually wanted to get raped

Academic-Ball-9606 · 2026-06-07T00:10:52+00:00

Exactly. The toxic abusers would be incels

washington_breadstix · 2026-06-08T18:26:14+00:00

Their behavior does reflect it though.

Title	If women faced a real safety risk in dating, then their behaviour would represent it
Author	DiligentRope
Upvotes	1
Comments	181
Date	June 2, 2026 6:20 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1tuieyi/if_women_faced_a_real_safety_risk_in_dating_then/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-women-faced-a-real-safety-risk-in-dating-then.1581891 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581891

Comments