What is the long-term goal of FDS? (Speculate)

xFallacyx69 · 2021-06-16T18:28:13+00:00

The long-term goal is to find HVM to provide coping and confirmation bias for the perceived slights of society, and to give reassurance that these slights are due to 0 fault on the part of the FDS member.

Now, whether or not you think this is attainable or even healthy is up to speculation. The sidebar is fine, but the posts there tend to weed out any man that is not the constantly-changing idea of perfection. It’s impossible. And even if it were possible, the man that was not weeded out by those mentally unstable and/or psychopathic women would be, by definition, a LVM.

In the end, it’s a huge coping strategy for people with no introspection who’s only form of identity and/or relationship values and boundaries is an increasingly toxic concentration and subset of jaded, gaslighting women.

0seagirl · 2021-06-17T13:51:16+00:00

Or it is just a circlejerk for traumatised women?

Pretty much, yes. I think so.

I actually spent a lot of time on GenderCritical and radfem groups when I was going through the hardest time with PTSD from sexual trauma.

Participating in those subs and groups wasn't good for my health at all, and I found myself fostering toxic thoughts about men and transpeople that were honestly just fucked up.

FDS and subs like it can really ignore that women can be predatory and abusive. Plenty of people had childhoods where they suffered at the hands of their mothers, and men who are suffering in silence being abused by men.

The only thing I feel like is really decent about those subs is highlighting the harms of being in the porn industry.

The "goal" of FDS I think is really just sharing pain and validating feelings of anger.. which is natural with trauma, but that stage has to pass.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-06-16T18:46:31+00:00

Yeah.. You're going a tad too deep in it. It's literally a circle jerk for depressed and traumatized women who have been manipulated who believe that relationships are about "winning and losing" and that they are a zero sum game which they are decidedly not -- they have a lot more in common with the RP zeitgeist than they'd like to admit, primarily a pervasive attitude of transactionalism

FreierSteinkopf · 2021-06-16T19:36:27+00:00

Theres are difference between what they say the sub is about and what the sub is actually about. On first glance it about strategies to secure a HVM that has a fitting personality without many risks for you. However if you look at it for 10 mins and scroll down you will see that its just a big circle jerk with nicely sprinkled misandry all over it.

bordstol · 2021-06-17T11:15:23+00:00

It probably started out as a dating strategy subreddit, but now it's just for venting on how awful men are. Like mgtow is just venting on how awful women are. Both groups are still actively dating as much as they can and will leave as soon as the find someone.

ProperUgly · 2021-06-18T02:57:46+00:00

It’s really quite simple. It is the incel mindset gender swapped.

ChiBron86 · 2021-06-17T00:49:20+00:00

Contrary to what they pretend to be, a 10 minute visit to their board will confirm that

1) they have absolutely zero interest in self-improvement. You will be hard-pressed to find a single post where they talk about improving one self to attract better men.

2) so when there is no interest in self improvement, naturally, everything becomes about blaming those EVIL MENS for why their dating lives suck. And given their "strategy" lol, you can bet their lives will continue to suck.

3) it's clearly a place infested with femcels who despise men for treating them for what they are - LOW VALUE WOMEN. Thus the blatant misandry and obsession with "HVM", because being femcels, you can bet the only crumbs that ever get thrown their way come from absolute losers. And boy do they hate that. That crushing realization of how the world sees 'em. This is something you'll see plenty of in real life too. The entitled fat/ugly girl that gets hit on by a looksmatch and how she rejects him with disgust.

Bottomline: FDS is a place for fat/ugly women to be snarky and hate men. Nothing more. It's a massive cope to deal with their shortcomings. There's no actual dating strategy or end goal here, despite what the sidebar says. If you actually read their daily posts, nobody is implementing those "strategies". Nobody's actually going out and doing anything. Because they know none of that shit works. Only the most desperate of men will put up with that garbage. But that's not what Miss Fatty wants, see. She wants Chad. Good luck lol

wtknight · 2021-06-16T18:56:50+00:00

Long term it is to negate the male imperative (polygyny) by creating a set of rules for men to follow so that men can’t exercise their own imperative and thus the female imperative (hypergamy) is maximized collectively for women. Ultimately all FDS positions really come down to this, in my opinion.

psypD · 2021-06-17T01:03:26+00:00

The ultimate long term goal of any FDS woman is owning a cat food factory.

S0mnariumx · 2021-06-17T15:55:31+00:00

A circle jerk is an accurate assessment. Its a way to cause delusional women to become more delusional.

IOportA · 2021-06-17T17:48:14+00:00

The long term goal is to make themselves feel better about being unwanted by the men they want.

TheDevilPutD · 2021-06-16T20:45:23+00:00

The long term goal is to make these women into crazy old cat ladies.

LeJacquelope · 2021-06-16T18:54:35+00:00

The goal of FD$ is the same as a black widow.

Odd_Elegance · 2021-06-16T18:25:17+00:00

Thing I notice with everyone is that people like to justify their feelings and build whole truths around them.

This becomes dangerous when ur predominant emotion is fear because you begin to form radical ideas.

I don’t see anything wrong with fds but it feels like women suppressing their feelings over a truth that states that “men are scrotes and we don’t need them”

cvslengthbucketlist · 2021-06-16T19:06:55+00:00

I think the two biggest indications that FDS is more problematic than it is (sparingly) useful that should be apparent to anyone doing their own research is that they don't allow dissenting opinions that challenge FDS orthodoxy and will even err on the side of banning women whose opinions and standards make them "sound like" men, and that they actively lurk in other subs and try to proselytize new members with their not entirely accurate sales pitch of what the sub is about.

"Cult" is a strong word, and I'm sure a lot of the rank-and-file members are women who've genuinely been hurt in their relationships, but the way they operate is definitely reminiscent of cult-like behavior, and there's no way the mods don't realize what they're doing. Using us vs. them categorical thinking, easy group stereotypes (racial/ethnic/etc.), and "1 bad experience = total avoidance" type logic to manipulate traumatized women and limit their freedom under the guise of personal safety is rather dishonest, regardless of whether your original intentions were good.

Nor is it a reasonable way to live: you don't get better at anything in life or solve problems by avoiding them and putting them off. Why would it make any sense for women to expect that they can hold off on dating in their twenties in order to "level up" and somehow emerge MORE skilled at reading men/red flags and navigating relationships after a decade of no experience? Even a child could see the flaw in that reasoning.

UniverseCatalyzed · 2021-06-16T18:48:12+00:00

It's just what it says on the tin. Strategies for women to maximize their dating outcomes, through self-improvement and efficient application of what leverage women have in the sexual marketplace.

This is no different than the millions of words poured out on theredpill or any number of male seduction/PUA/manosphere communities. I don't see why it's okay to write thousands of articles and posts about how to best spin plates, run MLTR, get the most one-night stands as possible etc. but it's totally not okay for women to strategize and use the advantages they have in the dating marketplace to attract what FDS calls a "high value man."

I also think a lot of what FDS says rings true for many people both women and men, which is why male redditors get so mad when it's brought up. I don't think men would get so ticked off by it if what FDS says didn't ring true on some level.

Mondholm · 2021-06-16T18:40:40+00:00

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IOportA · 2021-06-16T21:46:05+00:00

I think one of its main goals is to provoke the manosphere, which it's doing profoundly well.

2021-06-16T22:57:08+00:00

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Hungry-Nebula · 2021-06-17T02:39:20+00:00

Here's a question OP, what do you think is the best way to gather information about a demographic:

1) Ask members of that demographic either privately or publicly

2) Ask non-members of that demographic either privately or publicly

2021-06-17T06:37:47+00:00

Well, I like reading it, even though I don't personally engage in the name calling and labeling because I believe that labeling outgroups is othering.

It's just radfem-ish analysis of relationship dynamics with the ultimate goal of women finding relationships that benefit them or simply living a fulfilling life that doesn't center the lack of relationship. I say radfem-ish because traditional radfems-- from that 2nd wave period of feminism in the 1970's-- are the real WGTOW before there was a MGTOW.

I don't find radfem type thought particularly offensive but a lot of people do because it is very frank about male-pattern violence and control towards women. We do, as a culture, like to put on the blinders about why men engage in these culturally scripted behaviors of violence and control towards women, when the reason is simply, that it benefits men.

By the standards of FDS a HVM is a man with high enough moral standards that he won't engage in the degrading forms of cultural violence against women that the majority of men seem to practice without much perspective or insight into the nature and consequences of their actions. A really HVM might even realize that sowing conflict and distrust in his most intimate relationships is incredibly self-defeating behavior.

Cultural institutions that benefit men include things like the sex industry and porn industry and also a justice system that refuses to place consequences on the majority of overwhelmingly male perpetrators of domestic violence. FDS isn't anti-sex worker, but that refusal to make a claim that sex work is empowering or beneficial to women often gets conflated with being against sex workers. Women are the product, men are the consumers and also the one's making the vast majority of the profits. That's just the truth of the industry.

Anyway, a major pillar of male pattern violence against women is men just making shit up about something that they feel threatens their social benefit-- pretty must the reason de etre of Men's Right's Movement groups is to disseminate misinformation-- in order to discredit it. And it seems like you, OP, have certainly found that part of the dialogue on FDS.

It is anti-status quo, so you could call FDS a real REDPILL in the original sense, whereas the manosphere type stuff is actually pretty status quo and presents a pretty serious break from reality and all the alternative facts to go along with that. 5g tracking microchips in the vaccines style.

ivy176 · 2021-06-17T07:26:39+00:00

The main goal is typically marriage.

I don't hate sex workers or pickmes. I see why they do what they do, but I'm fine with pointing out my beliefs and the issues I see with it. It's a safe space to discuss the negatives and why we don't believe in sex work being healthy or good for women, because the rest of the world will chastise you for saying anything anti sex work or anti pickme. Even Christian subs will come down on you for being anti hardcore BDSM (serious choking, spitting in the face, hitting). So we will keep discussing things that are bad for women... yes, even if the women love being choked til they pass out, or think being a sex worker is empowering. If people feel differently, there are so many spaces where people will celebrate pickme behaviour as being a coolgirl or having onlyfans or whatever else.

As for trans women, the reason FDS isn't welcoming is because a) trans women have such different obstacles on top of everything else when dating, and b) there are legitimate issues with men posing as women to get into women's spaces or to attack women, request special treatment in prison, etc. Now that's obviously NOT a reflection of all or most trans women, but these things are discussed at FDS because we discuss women's issues as a whole. If anyone just hates trans people, that's obviously a pretty bullshit attitude and I personally don't stand for that and I'm fine with telling people that's not okay, just as I'm fine with telling people to knock it off if they're posting anything that incites abuse. I mean FDS needs more modding but it's hard because women are taught to tolerate so much crap so FDS is meant to be a free space to not have to censor yourself so much. But of course that results in some things being said that are low blows.

I don't even agree with or say the word scrote. I'm too good for that. I don't need to stoop to redpill level and call them a name that's reminiscent of them calling women roasties.

So yes, there are some issues. But follow most of the dating strategy rules? Avoid dating apps, he pays for dates as he invited you, avoid coffee/drinks/walk dates, be very responsive to red flags, have high standards, expect effort, don't have sex until you're committed.. and follow advice on leveling up (it's another FDS sub that reddit ignores because it's not about men, and not controversial) to be a HVW (lifestyle, health/fitness, mental health, career, friend/family relationships, daily habits, developing skills, etc)... you're absolutely more likely to find a good husband.

It's not about getting laid or getting some boyfriend. Being a pickme will get you those things easier.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-06-17T11:49:35+00:00

what even is this subreddit anymore

ana16011 · 2021-06-17T12:11:31+00:00

Fds is the best thing since Pokémon

SeaworthinessAlert14 · 2021-06-17T16:24:03+00:00

They shame men for size there.

vial_of_music · 2021-06-17T18:11:34+00:00

I like to think of FDS as the PPD exclusively for women, which makes everything a lot worse. Like an echo chamber of women who have had bad experiences with men and now are like all men are like that blah blah or whatever. They’re crazy and bitter, very much like a lot of male demographic here.

IcarusKiki · 2021-06-17T21:20:57+00:00

To not waste their time

SoyFemboy · 2021-06-18T10:01:18+00:00

From what I got of occasionally reading it, FDS aims for a traditional patriarchy relationship, but a better deal on woman side and without the stigma of not being in relationship. Man being the provider and woman the home maker. And so on. Being a concervative view, it comes with all the bits disliking anything that challenge that.

It's anti-feminism marketed for women.

silkPJson · 2021-06-16T23:50:39+00:00

To be happy and fulfilled without a man who brings no value to your life, or to find a hvm (which is different for every woman).

I don’t agree with everything 100% but it’s refreshing to see a space on the internet (on reddit no less) that is unashamedly pro woman putting her needs ahead of others. I like the that FDS lists all the ways in which men use/abuse women and how to avoid that type of man of which there are plenty unfortunately.

I think the core messages of confidence/independence and refusing to settle for cheaters/liars/abusive men are something all women need to hear.

It’s one of my favourite subreddits. Don’t care that guys here don’t like it. This place just proves how much it is needed.

TwoFirmFeet · 2021-06-16T21:14:18+00:00

Im a guy and i get where FDS is coming from. They are like RED PILL WOMEN which are basically just conservative women but FDS takes it to an insufferable level.

I LIKE conservative women because i believe its the right way to go when it comes to relationships but FDS is just… i mean pickmeishas? Really? Ugly people have it bad enough but FDS really want to really kick a man while hes down by calling him “porn sick?” Remember when all the men say never open up about your feelings? ITS BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE THOSE IN FDS. Men finally open about porn addiction and want to fight it just to be called LVM by women around them. Jesus Christ.

The world can be cruel both men and women know this but FDS is a contributing factor in that cruelty no two ways about that. Conservative women are simply unbothered by unworthy men and just live their lives according to their beliefs but FDS wants to shove their ideology down the throats of every women and claim it as true. When you reach that level of arrogance, there is something really wrong with you.

343_peaches_and_tea · 2021-06-16T23:56:02+00:00

To turn men into the men of the 1950s apparently.

Except not actually men of the 1950s because the women on that sub have no idea how men of the 50s used to act.

They have a romanticised vision of how men should be in their head. Instead of talking to men about that vision, communicating and reaching compromise, they want to instead manipulate men into that vision. They largely ignore any wants or desires men should have and only view men as objects to serve their own needs.

They are stuck because on one hand they want men to take the lead and not "be submissive". On the other hand they have a very specific set of wants on a date and in a relationship that men are supposed to just know.

FDS encourages classic "topping from the bottom" behaviour. They want to both be in control of the relationship and have it go exactly how they want but also not in control. It's a fundamentally contradictory position.

That said. FDS women aren't a monolith. Many of them are actually quite nice.

(Also Radfems don't hate prostitutes. You may disagree with their position but fundamentally I don't believe it comes from a place of hate. I think Radfems actually care quite a lot about prostitutes)

xQueen-Bx · 2021-06-17T12:18:31+00:00

However, now I really think FDS and the rest of the Radfem subreddits really have some sinister agenda

if you consider promoting FEMALE interests and the female imperative sinister then its obviously going to look like that

ArtNo6372 · 2021-06-16T19:54:18+00:00

Lol those idiots are about as capable of hatching a long term plan as the average incel is at getting female attraction

CatchPhraze · 2021-06-16T18:49:46+00:00

To be happy. Everyone's long term goal.

Everyone talks big on the internet, so it's super cringe that the people on threads about fds think they go that hard irl. They don't expect trps to be word vomiting about alpha/chad/beta/kino/smv all over the place, so I'm not sure why they expect fds chick's to lead with fds.

It's like how half the red pill seminar guys say "lift but don't get married" and are skinny married dudes. Real life is much more mild then online, and if you don't realize that you have like no social awareness tbh.

SaBahRub · 2021-06-16T18:41:33+00:00

To me it’s doormat al-anon or nofap

Stops the destructive behavior but ends up going a little weird and overkill

But I guess that’s what you gotta do for addiction

blue_dandelions · 2021-06-17T05:21:37+00:00

The long term goal is finding a partner who cherishes them & treats them with respect.

Ppl here take the memes literally about the golddigging. In reality fds says a HVM is subjective & simply treats her adequately.

It’s essentially typical women advice for doormats/women who have been burnt.

2021-06-16T21:47:17+00:00

Wow so didn't realise so many men on here are blue pillers.

TakeThePinkPill · 2021-06-16T20:09:31+00:00

FDS is not specifically RadFem. That energy is a natural side effect at looking at the absolute state of men.

I am the former head mod of the now banned /r/Trufemcels sub. I didn't even fuck with feminism when I got here. I wasn't included. Most histrionic male accusations about us being interested in feminism only taught me little by little why feminism matters.

FemaleDatingStrategy has femcel roots just like PinkPillFeminism and other subs. The natural side effect of being the brunt of male cruelty is female frustration, fury, depression, and for our fighters, resolve to make it. Find love. Forget everybody.

I'm not even allowed to post on FDS freely because they have a brand to protect since Reddit is so extremely hard on female spaces in a way no male spaces are clocked.

Goals of FDS:

inspire the (let's not call them femcels) to do better
rehabilitate pick mes
educate women about the patriarchal scam
distance women from depression to Queen energy
inspire
create the millennial and Gen Z equivalent of " why men love bitches" and goals of our ancestors
save female doormats
sex appeal
influence dating culture because men are lost
VENTING

feminism is NOT a primary goal. It is a LOGICAL SIDE EFFECT.

That is why so many married women and celibate women are flocking there. Because when we were allowed women came to us too

Female spaces ON REDDIT have a mandate that requires women cuck themselves to speak. I'd say more but not trying to be banned.

ThePinkPill.co houses the original female communities who wanted to speak as freely as men. Even our worst segments of the community don't graze the shit-stained grout of casual manosphere discussions.

Female Dating Stategy is literally a sub housing all types of frustrated and righteous Reddit women who just want better from men.

We are another group of women creating a Reddit clone and hub for subs like FemaleDatingStrategy that Reddit won't allow while rapekink, murder subs, and misogynists run loose

They wanted to talk about dating but this is what happens when u muzzle women and look at men. The mods are trying to reign it in.

We are here for anything Reddit does to that sub or any other female space. We know bc we've been there and worse.

Women's interest in finding good men is just a portal on Reddit since trash men drown everybody out. That's what your seeing. It will sort itself out in a while.

Edit: in case you think I'm full of shit, here is one of the mods disavowing all female spaces (not a single one of us has claimed to be FDS. The manosphere has being pushing it and they are bothered by this instead of clapping back) Since this morning some of these comments have been cleaned up but so many women proud of FDS and its impact but not really interested in dating anyone have spoken up.

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/o10s8d/reminder_fds_is_not_wgtowovaritfemcel_etc_were_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

FDS started as a dating sub. They are trying to get back there. Men being trash (NOT all men) have resulted in women piling on in the only space left on Reddit that allows them to speak.

superlurkage · 2021-06-16T20:43:57+00:00

The priority appears to be stopping the desperate behavior and mentality, as encouraged by society (pleasing the man, chasing after him, not taking hints of disinterest and rationalizing poor treatment)

I agree with that part

The filtering methods, not so much

spinsterchachkies · 2021-06-16T18:59:56+00:00

The sub is just women sharing their dating advice, dating strategies, thoughts and opinions about being women with one another. This is a weird rant that I don’t fully understand to be honest. There are no “rest of the Radfem subreddits” that’s the only one, as well as the ONLY exclusively female space on Reddit. Why would you jump to female abusers because of that? If you don’t want to read it, don’t.

woxmei · 2021-06-16T19:38:22+00:00

FDS is the female mgtow?

lulll · 2021-06-16T20:03:37+00:00

fds isn't really something new, it's basically tumblr feminism turned up a bit louder and that's about it. so you can say fds is a consequence or long term goal of tumblr feminism

2021-06-17T00:57:57+00:00

I like this post.

BarestBranch · 2021-06-16T20:08:50+00:00

Long-term goal seems to be finding a "high value" man and getting them to commit while also protecting themselves from being used by men who either don't want to commit or who they deem not valuable enough to warrant commitment from.

From what I've seen of it, they seem to deliberately use language that mirrors the way women are talked about in the manosphere. IMO not the healthiest approach but I kinda get it. And what the fuck do I know, I'm not a woman and it's not on me to police how women respond to the rampant misogyny online/Reddit. Less defensible is the SWERFness, the TERFness, the homophobia, the occasional racism, etc.

1Here4Bach · 2021-06-16T20:45:36+00:00

The mission statement is in the about section of the subreddit.

Ladyofblades · 2021-06-17T00:36:22+00:00

You really don’t want your daughter becoming a pickme. Strong boundaries are something every woman needs that pickmes lack, leading to their abuse

Fathers tend to find FDS instructive because they are men who know the nature of men and are concerned thus for their children

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-06-16T18:24:15+00:00

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wtknight · 2021-06-16T19:50:38+00:00

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wtknight · 2021-06-16T21:18:33+00:00

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Classicjammer · 2021-06-16T23:37:21+00:00

To get men with zero problems.

Probably because the women there have too many themselves.

UrFoodMolestedMyNose · 2021-06-17T10:03:55+00:00

Alpha bucks or beta bux

Frosty-Gate-8094 · 2021-06-19T13:44:54+00:00

Frankly speaking, I find the pathological hatred against trans people, prostitutes and pickmeishas quite pointless.

You mentioned pathological hatred to all these groups, but didn't mention the main target of their athological hatred---- men.

fdslied2U · 2021-06-23T17:12:46+00:00

In just gonna leave this here

Make him wait for sex https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dkp0l4/make_him_wait_for_sex/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

friendofalltehworld · 2021-06-17T14:01:30+00:00

Frankly speaking, I find the pathological hatred against trans people, prostitutes and pickmeishas quite pointless

What about their pathological hatred of men, considering it's a sub supposedly designed to help women date men?

midwestufohunter · 2021-06-16T23:47:26+00:00

"I realised that it is probably a very unhealthy way to cultivate a proper relationship. "

But it's healtheir than the effect of having a healthy relationship when there are so many people out there who will prey on you.

Yes, hopefully when we raise our sons and daughters better there will be no need for FDS.

DplusLplusKplusM · 2021-06-17T01:26:48+00:00

Same. Honestly, I think it's for the same kind of venting one sees over on TRP or MGTOW, just from unhappy women instead of unhappy men. The truth is that most people do just fine in their relationships and like most things it's the highly vocal minority that steals all the thunder. No doubt there are far more lurkers there than people really contributing. For the rest of us it's a kind of voyeurism that makes us feel better about our lives and relationships.

Title	What is the long-term goal of FDS? (Speculate)
Author	Luna99NB
Upvotes	32
Comments	348
Date	June 16, 2021 6:18 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/o1biu0/what_is_the_longterm_goal_of_fds_speculate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-the-long-term-goal-of-fds-speculate.784225 https://theredarchive.com/post/784225

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