Dear men:STFU

Sketchy_Uncle · 2014-06-01T15:05:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

adequate_potato · 2014-06-01T15:39:31+00:00

What exactly is this "institutionalized violence against women?" I must have missed the memo when our societal institutions decided violence should be inflicted upon women, such as having them be the main victims of war.

AntiIdealogue · 2014-06-01T15:32:23+00:00

Because true equality can only be gained by telling others to "shut up".

jimbobrosso · 2014-06-01T15:14:38+00:00

so the jist of that is...

do not talk do not think only do as we say

then we'll be happy

Nomenimion · 2014-06-01T15:30:14+00:00

What they really said is STFU... and do what women tell you.

This is not hard. Listen to women, and help them achieve what THEY say is important—or please feel free to Shut the Fuck Up.

Just imagine what they would say about us if we started talking like this!

zaro27 · 2014-06-01T15:13:06+00:00

So... you wanna have a girl power moment by getting a good hate-boner going against all men and we're just supposed to let you have it? Why?

arghawasp · 2014-06-01T15:12:06+00:00

Hey! I think I've heard shut the fuck up before.

I'm not compelled to listen.

boyoboy · 2014-06-01T15:13:03+00:00

"Shut The Fuck Up and Listen To Women."

Stopped reading here.

GrantNexus · 2014-06-01T15:21:59+00:00

So this "feminist" would rather men "STFU" instead of actively participating in a dialogue about the betterment of human inter-relations, I wonder what kind of society that would make? On second thought, I don't want to know.

TheAlmightyTapir · 2014-06-01T16:02:05+00:00

Statistics are hard to come by, are they? Well actually 1 in 20 between the ages of 16 and 59, which is taking into account past generations, and as rape has been decreasing rapidly in recent decades the results are slightly skewed. Where in the fuck does 1 in 3 or 4 come from? Even that study there says 1 in 5 for "sexual violence or attempted sexual violence", which is vague as fuck.

I'm all for stopping the abuse of women, but where is the need for the blatant lying?

kagedtiger · 2014-06-01T16:14:01+00:00

Women have already thought of it and realized it won't work.

So, are they giving up? Empty Vessel just claimed that there is no solution to the problem, so I guess we can all go home.

regular, systematic, and institutionalized violence against women

Yeah, because that's definitely a thing...

Far, far less than there are men who victimize women.

You got stats on that? Didn't think so.

Think about it, how often have you heard about a group of “radical feminists” gang raping a 12-year-old boy, posting it on the internet, and not getting prosecuted because the female DA says “girls will be girls”?

Has this happened with the genders reversed, as the writer implies? I haven't heard of it. Seriously, if someone knows what they're talking about, please post a link. Even if it did happen, I'm sure it's not a regular occurrence.

[the entire section of "For those men who are bothered that women are attacking all men."]

So, I'm supposed to not care about someone labeling (innocent) me as dangerous because someone may or may not have screwed with them at some point in their lives? No, I don't think that's how it works.

If you feel put-out because women are not noticing how not sexist you are, Shut the Fuck Up.

Does anyone actually feel this way, or did the writer just make something up?

If they say no, if they say nothing, or if they are not able to respond—do not have sex. That’s it.

Yeah, except for those times that she says yes and you still claim it's rape...

Listen to women, and help them achieve what THEY say is important-or please feel free to Shut The Fuck Up.

I mean, do I even have to explain what's wrong with this? It seems pretty obvious that thats a load of crap. I mean, the writer even emphasized the word that needed to be emphasized. Were supposed to devote ourselves to the cause of women without question or do nothing? Talk about entitlement...

dontsuckbeawesome · 2014-06-01T16:34:24+00:00

While statistics are hard to come by, most current estimates suggest that between 1 in 4 or 1 in 3 women will be raped during their lifetimes

And here we go. It only took a few years of this insanity to now reach 1 in 3. A few more years, and we'll see 1 in 2. Maybe they'll realize that they're pulling numbers out of their asses when its 2 in 1?

TheRabid · 2014-06-01T14:56:44+00:00

I find that the unintended consequences of rants like this is that I begin to care less about the plight of women and where they suffer because they have ignored any point of view that I might have because of my gender.

WelfAnjou · 2014-06-01T16:30:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

GrantNexus · 2014-06-01T16:23:29+00:00

Most current estimates were derived by a statistical technique called 'pulling numbers out of my ass.'

Prefer_Not_To_Say · 2014-06-01T19:27:27+00:00

You know, up until the reaction to the Elliot Rodger killings, I actually had some faith that feminism, at its core, was misguided as it gets but still intent on doing the right thing. I thought feminism had some moral goals that the movement was aiming to achieve, in spite of the ways they were going about it.

This is just the latest in a long list of articles that killed that faith stone-dead.

Think about it, how often have you heard about a group of “radical feminists” gang raping a 12-year-old boy, posting it on the internet, and not getting prosecuted because the female DA says “girls will be girls”?

I've never heard of that happening with anyone. Men, women, radical feminists, etc. The first thing that did come to mind was the story of the three 14-year-old girls stripping an 11-year-old boy naked, filming it and putting it on Youtube. Annoyingly, the mother of the boy chose not to press charges, hoping that the girls' parents would punish them instead. I suppose that just slipped the author's mind?

I'd also like to point out that while searching for information on that story, there were no news sites that reported it. I only found forums and blogs. Even the original video was taken down; the one I linked to is a mirror.

TheTwisted509 · 2014-06-01T16:57:51+00:00

Paraphrasing here; "Men are all idiots, women have already thought of everything to end violence and the only thing that will work is men being removed from the planet completely"

Do I get my gold star now?

guywithaccount · 2014-06-01T18:21:38+00:00

So let me get this straight: Women have tried everything, it's ALL the fault of men, and if we would just STFU and listen to the people who have already tried everything and IT HASN'T WORKED, it'll fucking work. Did I get that right?

Chad_Nine · 2014-06-01T18:20:14+00:00

Dear article writer: No

DesignRed · 2014-06-01T17:55:54+00:00

I would say I read that opinionated piece of drivel, but that would be disingenuous. When someone tells me to shut up and listen to them as the moral authority, that's where I stop paying attention to them.

MeEvilBob · 2014-06-01T16:08:14+00:00

Nothing sexist about Feminism, though. Why can't MRAs just work with Feminists? I mean really, don't we all want the same thing? \s

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2014-06-01T20:27:55+00:00

Dear muslims: STFU.

In light of 9/11 and various other terrorist attacks violence against white non-muslims has been discussed extensively.

Many non-muslims have shared the hatred, religious intolerance, and sectarian violence they have received at the hands of muslims. These have been difficult diaries to read, full of the pain and anguish that these christians and jews and atheists have had to face. While statistics are hard to come by, most current estimates suggest that between 1 in 4 or 1 in 3 non-muslims will face violence at the hands of a muslim during their lifetimes. It’s common, it happens every day. More importantly it warps the very fabric of our culture, making decent non-muslims reasonably fearful, even if they have never themselves been a victim of terrorism or religious fueled violence.

Most muslims have be behaved and sat there quietly while we collectively shit on all of them. Others have decided to express their bigotry by explaining that they aren't terrorists.

For the latter I have a suggestion: shut the fuck up.

This isn't about you you terrorist loving shitheads. This is about blaming you for all the worlds problems while you sit there quietly and take it.

Defending yourselves is another form of terrorism.

golemsheppard · 2014-06-01T19:20:55+00:00

I find it very disturbing that they took the murder of four men and two women and make it into a gender specific problem.

2014-06-01T19:37:07+00:00

I just can't take these things seriously with the #YesAllWoman hashtag it just proves that they can't see others as victims cause it would lower their own victimhood complex.

foxyramirez · 2014-06-01T21:56:24+00:00

How edgy. I bet this is super gratifying to all those college radfems mastering on women's studies. Once again, another wonderful example of feminism's "if you're not with us, you're against us" thought pattern. The patriarchy being the all encompassing term for every other person on the planet.

IMULTRAHARDCORE · 2014-06-01T15:26:20+00:00

Well. That pretty much says it all doesn't it?

Salient0ne · 2014-06-01T20:08:58+00:00

Whatever fucking brilliant idea you have to solve violence against women, its fucking stupid.

Classy. #YesAllFeminists

TracyMorganFreeman · 2014-06-01T21:16:38+00:00

Their handle is Empty Vessel.

Seems really fitting when you think about it.

Whatever fucking brilliant idea you have to solve violence against women, its fucking stupid. Women have already thought of it and realized it won’t work. Seriously, do you really think that none of the 3.5 billion women on this planet haven’t already thought of your brilliant idea and tried it? Do you think that if it worked they wouldn’t have told their friends, and every woman would be doing it by now. Stop being a paternalistic asshole and accept the fact that women probably have a better idea on how to be women than you do. So take your brilliant idea and Shut the Fuck Up.

Well decades of feminism certainly hasn't figured it out. Maybe they should shut the fuck up based on that logic. Afterall, if one's experiences and privilege can blind one from seeing the cause or solution, maybe a different perspective in order, right?

You know, there are a few real examples of men’s rights being limited at the expense of women. Perhaps the best example would be in regard to child custody cases. Do you know where it would be good to discuss those issues? Anywhere other than a diary about violence against women. Because if its in a diary about violence against women, it is false equivalence, always.

Fair enough. However men are the majority of victims of violence, which isn't a false equivalence.

For those men who think it’s a good time to talk about female violence against men.

Again, by bringing up this subject in a diary about violence against women, it necessarily implies an equivalence between sexual violence by men and women.

Given how sexual violence is defined to absolve predatory and sexually violent women of culpability, thinking prevalence alone is sufficient to disregard victimization would be premature.

Or should we just ignore that laws allowed for what qualifies as marital rape existed before but claim those don't count because they don't show up in official statistics?

Seriously, get the fuck over it. Women have been systematically disenfranchised, shit on, beat up, raped and you get pissed off because they said something mean about men? Women are justifiably angry, they have every right to be. If women occasionally criticize “men” instead of “some men”, get the fuck over yourself and Shut the Fuck Up. Just for the record, if you are one of the people who is offended by the title of this diary, you are exactly who I am talking about, and you can feel free to Shut the Fuck Up about it.

She said, without qualifying how it's "being mean" to men, but when it happens to women it's more than that.

As said by another diarist, you do not get a gold star for what you should have been doing all along.

You don't get a gold star for pretending to be for equality and then telling men to shut up about their problems or offer their input in helping women with their problems.

For those men who find it difficult to figure out what rape is.

No there's a lot of implicit communication that occurs during courtship that falls under consent; it's where that line is drawn for consent that is confusing for some, for both sexes.

Of course the idea that the burden of clarity lies only on one member of the two person party is actually removing agency from women too.

Further, one must consider cultural norms of communication. If I extend my hand to someone with my thumb slightly extended, in many cultures that's an invitation to shake my hand. If you interlock your hand with mine in a similar manner, that's understood as consent to a handshaking. It's not hand-rape if you put your hand in mine and then I shake yours without asking for continuous, enthusiastic support of hand-shaking.

This article is little more than empty rhetoric that boils down to "I really feel strongly about this, so you're wrong."

mcavvacm · 2014-06-01T21:47:25+00:00

"There is no comparison. Think about it, how often have you heard about a group of “radical feminists” gang raping a 12-year-old boy, posting it on the internet, and not getting prosecuted because the female DA says “girls will be girls”?"

I have never heard of this, with any gender. Did this actually happen? (with reversed genders as she's implying)

AnnoyingLittleShit · 2014-06-01T16:13:14+00:00

Don't forget: society is misogynist!

myalias1 · 2014-06-01T17:45:06+00:00

The only side I actually see addressing a gender is the feminist side. Whereas any claim that MRA's addresss or refer to women is always a misrepresentation of our addressing feminists.

Fhwqhgads · 2014-06-01T21:06:08+00:00

Dear feminists: GFY

SlappyMoose · 2014-06-01T22:42:24+00:00

I actually got banned from /r/feminism after my first post ever.

The OP was saying men should prove they aren't rapists instead of saying anything. A female commented basically saying (very diplomatically and respectfully) how easy it was for men to feel defensive, when faced with aggression like that, while being compared as a whole to the actions of one murderer.

I commented thanking her for pointing out a view rarely expressed, and speaking rationally on men's behalf. A day later her post was deleted and I was banned. I was really disappointed to see that kind of close minded bullshit in a subreddit (supposedly) promoting healthy discussion.

This "Men: shut up" mindset is only going to isolate groups of people set everyone back. I'm really glad that ban-happy post-removal marathon bullshit doesn't happen in /r/mensrights, at least not that I've seen.

WelfAnjou · 2014-06-01T15:51:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MeEvilBob · 2014-06-01T16:33:05+00:00

So basically the way that we should all work towards a better world is to not do a damn thing because there are already people out there trying who need help but not from half the world population?

HolySchmoly · 2014-06-01T20:10:00+00:00

Just a stupid rant not even worth reading.

notnotnotfred · 2014-06-01T20:55:29+00:00

For those men who think they have the answer to violence against women.

Whatever fucking brilliant idea you have to solve violence against women, its fucking stupid. Women have already thought of it and realized it won’t work.

I learned from this that when one woman has a good idea, it's immediately propagated through the entire female knowledgebase, which is deeper and quicker than all of the internets put together.

under_score16 · 2014-06-01T22:50:04+00:00

But no such equivalence exists. Yes, there are some women who victimize men. Far, far less than there are men who victimize women.

Why in the hell are we supposed to just accept that as a fact?

ThePigmanAgain · 2014-06-01T23:59:02+00:00

Stopped reading at the bogus rape figure. Should have stopped at the byline, really.

guywithaccount · 2014-06-01T15:14:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

iethatis · 2014-06-01T15:57:53+00:00

Dear feminists:STFU

Is that allowed?

knowless · 2014-06-01T16:33:49+00:00

Sounds great, guess i won't quit drinking after all.

SocialJusticeSoldier · 2014-06-01T19:15:47+00:00

Why are feminists so angry lol

Karma9999 · 2014-06-01T20:21:49+00:00

As soon as you see the title and realise it isn't a joke, then it's time to get off the page.

2014-06-01T21:26:36+00:00

While statistics are hard to come by, most current estimates suggest that between 1 in 4 or 1 in 3 women will be raped during their lifetimes.

RAINN says it's 1 in 6, and they include attempts.

Far more will face other forms of sexual violence, sexual harassment, and general sexism.

And men never face these things?

More importantly it warps the very fabric of our culture, making women reasonably fearful, even if they have never themselves been a victim of sexual violence or intimidation.

Is it "reasonable" to fear every black guy you meet?

Many women here have written powerful diaries explaining what sexual violence they face and what men should do to help prevent sexual violence.

Why is it my job to tangle with violent criminals?

Shut The Fuck Up and Listen To Women.

Why?

Whatever fucking brilliant idea you have to solve violence against women, its fucking stupid.

"Don't put yourself into bad situations and don't provoke violent people" is not a stupid solution.

Women have already thought of it and realized it won’t work.

If Nicole DuFresne had followed my advice, she wouldn't have gotten shot.

Stop being a paternalistic asshole and accept the fact that women probably have a better idea on how to be women than you do.

They may, but that does not mean they have a better idea than me about protecting themselves from violence. I'm a guy. We're the ones who actually face violence. By your own reasoning I'm the authority here.

You know, there are a few real examples of men’s rights being limited at the expense of women. Perhaps the best example would be in regard to child custody cases.

All those women who rape little boys don't matter now?

Do you know where it would be good to discuss those issues? Anywhere other than a diary about violence against women.

Four of the six people Rodger murdered were male. Why are we discussing violence against women at all?

You see, those limited times that men have their rights infringed pale in comparison to the regular, systematic and institutionalized violence against women.

Most violent crime victims are male.

By bringing this subject up in a diary about violence against women, it necessarily will be seen and understood as trying to equate it with violence against women.

What about the four men Rodger murdered? Why don't we talk about them?

Again, by bringing up this subject in a diary about violence against women, it necessarily implies an equivalence between sexual violence by men and women. But no such equivalence exists.

It's pretty common for women to have sex with men who aren't consenting or can't consent. We just don't call it "rape" when women do it.

Think about it, how often have you heard about a group of “radical feminists” gang raping a 12-year-old boy, posting it on the internet, and not getting prosecuted because the female DA says “girls will be girls”?

Lots of schoolteachers have raped little boys.

Seriously, get the fuck over it. Women have been systematically disenfranchised, shit on, beat up, raped and you get pissed off because they said something mean about men? Women are justifiably angry, they have every right to be.

Do whites have the right to generalize blacks as vicious thugs?

If women occasionally criticize “men” instead of “some men”, get the fuck over yourself and Shut the Fuck Up.

Do blacks have the right to get mad when white people say "blacks are violent?"

As said by another diarist, you do not get a gold star for what you should have been doing all along.

You have no intention of rewarding me. You think I'm an evil rapist just because I have a Y chromosome. What motivation do I have to help you out?

Are you fucking kidding me? Its simple, usually it is fairly obvious when a woman wants to have sex.

Which means little if one party is intoxicated or underage.

If they say no, if they say nothing, or if they are not able to respond—do not have sex. That’s it. Any bullshit you are saying about it being so difficult to determine what is and what is not rape is rape apologism, and if you make that argument, you are a rape apologist.

So if a woman doesn't ask before she has sex with a man, is she a rapist?

This is not hard. Listen to women, and help them achieve what THEY say is important

Why should I bother? It's not my job to fight their battles for them.

2014-06-02T02:11:11+00:00

The next time a feminist tells you that they care about men's issues and value what they have to say, point them to this article and then tell them to have a nice day.

2014-06-02T04:31:15+00:00

Isn't telling men to "STFU because Woman" part of the reason why we are in this mess in the first place?

This isn't even the first type of article I have seen of this.

When you have a generation of males who are undergoing emotional sepsis because they can't communicate the exact opposite of the solution is to tell them to STFU.

The ones who want to perpetrate such acts are already silent.

Luckyluke23 · 2014-06-02T05:18:21+00:00

if they had it there way it would be: men should be seen and not heard.

yoshi314 · 2014-06-02T08:13:38+00:00

Listen to women, and help them achieve what THEY say is important—or please feel free to Shut the Fuck Up.

I suppose that's the way women expect to have a 'meaningful dialogue' with men. Our way or the highway.

WelfAnjou · 2014-06-01T15:21:56+00:00

There is a significant backlash going on at Daily Kos right now to this. It seems even liberal men do not appreciate being told to sit down and shut up.

Nomenimion · 2014-06-01T15:32:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2014-06-01T21:31:09+00:00

This person is a disgusting psychopath. Every bit as crazy as Elliot Roger.

giegerwasright · 2014-06-01T17:32:35+00:00

Well, kitten. That option isn't on the table. In fact, it hasn't even made it into the room. You can keep crowing about that, and watch your support dwindle, or you can move onto something with potential for forward momentum.

No skedaddle and make sure daddy covers that credit card bill. Tis the first of the month after all.

2014-06-01T16:22:06+00:00

http://helpdesk.dailykos.com/discussions/suggestions/1314-a-man

Popeychops · 2014-06-02T02:07:35+00:00

If you can't win the argument, better silence the opposition. Why are you afraid of men pointing out examples of violence committed against them? The implementation of the law is not a zero-sum game. Prosecuting female-on-male violence does not suddenly make male-on-female violence ok.

POLITE_ALL_CATS_GUY · 2014-06-02T02:13:23+00:00

I wish I could be a professional victim.

2014-06-02T02:22:15+00:00

This was written for clickbait/attention whoring, as if half the shit posted on Dailykos. The writer wants to be inflammatory, do not oblige her.

2014-06-02T13:51:32+00:00

Whenever I read something like this out of the corner of the most radical of feminists I always imagine one ranting woman, being aggressive as fuck and getting very close up to the face of a man in a threatening way. Other women are around who cheer and say stupid stuff like "you go girl" and making stupid dance moves and giving high fives to each other, like children would do because they've seen it in some show.

But if that one feminist encounters some real resistance, this whole situation breaks down, the other women shut up, possibly scatter and leave the scene.

I can't take this serious. I can't listen to the rants of children who are not able to take part in a civilized conversation and won't have to face any consquences from their bevahiour.

game004 · 2014-06-01T20:15:56+00:00

As a 16 y/o guy. Got robbed by a group older womens and almost got raped by my girlfriend's exfriend... Shit like this makes me sick. And yes people in school laugh at me when I tell them these stories. Sometimes they replies with "you're a man, it's your fault these girls need to rob people!"

Newbosterone · 2014-06-01T18:44:35+00:00

Dear Women: you don't need to STFU. We stopped listening long ago.

johnmarkley · 2014-06-02T00:47:52+00:00

Shut The Fuck Up and Listen To Women.

This is sort of hilarious, when the most listened-to MRA on the Internet today is a woman. Even more so when it turns out the author of this crap is actually male.

double-happiness · 2014-06-01T18:08:46+00:00

usually it is fairly obvious when a woman wants to have sex

On the contrary, due to the external location of male genitalia, and the significant increase in size as a result of tumescence, it's considerably easier to tell when a man wants to have sex. At least the female baboon has the decency to swell up at her rear end when she is in estrus (NSFW image here). Ever since primates starting walking on two legs it's been a damn sight harder for us males to know when are 'good to go'.

(Obviously, I am joking, but it is still not quite a straightforward as the author makes out).

timoppenheimer · 2014-06-02T06:34:09+00:00

I wish the MRM was popular enough that it could absolutely survive a public rant like this, but against women, because I would really like to get something off my chest: men know best about the benefits and costs of circumcision.

2014-06-02T17:44:21+00:00

most current estimates suggest that between 1 in 4 or 1 in 3 women will be raped during their lifetime

Which estimates are those, and how do they define "rape"?

ii_misfit_o · 2014-06-01T16:56:19+00:00

im sorry but this is where she went from being a person and turned into a feminist who isnt pro women but anti-male

For those men who are bothered that women are attacking all men.

Seriously, get the fuck over it. Women have been systematically disenfranchised, shit on, beat up, raped and you get pissed off because they said something mean about men? Women are justifiably angry, they have every right to be. If women occasionally criticize “men” instead of “some men”, get the fuck over yourself and Shut the Fuck Up. Just for the record, if you are one of the people who is offended by the title of this diary, you are exactly who I am talking about, and you can feel free to Shut the Fuck Up about it.

Timotheusss · 2014-06-01T23:09:12+00:00

I get a lot of her statements, they're unjustified, but I get them. That last one however, that is just running away from a valid discussion. You can't throw the 1 of 4 or 1 of 3 women argument in there if you aren't willing to discuss the label rape.

WelfAnjou · 2014-06-01T20:23:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Dear men:STFU

Comments

YesAllCats

Title	Dear men:STFU
Author	Joshthathipsterkid
Upvotes	145
Comments	239
Date	June 1, 2014 2:52 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2716cz/dear_menstfu/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/dear-menstfu.999837 https://theredarchive.com/post/999837