Do not accept negging at all. It's always made to make you feel insecure so that you emotionally depend on them for validation.

ifhewantedtohewould · 2021-11-18T08:57:16+00:00

“I didn’t mean it like that 🥺 can I still get my pp wet?”

fluffy-sunglasses · 2021-11-18T10:44:34+00:00

Yes!! A strategy that I have when talking to a new guy is that I mention early on that I like to workout at home. I usually do circuit training with heavier weights and have a split for upper/lower body.

They usually start saying that it's better for me to go to the gym, that my workouts are basically yoga/stretching and not hard at all (which ofc is incorrect :) )

If they neg about something insignificant like this without knowing me well or having ever tried my workouts, then surely they would neg about other things as well.

Inspection-Critical · 2021-11-18T14:20:44+00:00

"Hey I'm sorry" = "Come back so I can manipulate you again in a different way so hopefully you don't catch on so quick"

He's not sorry, he's just surprised you immediately saw through it and cut him off.

pyramid_fud · 2021-11-18T10:26:10+00:00

Urrggh I blocked a guy that kept making comments about my hair. It's weird because I made a silly mistake of telling him my ex used to tell me to wear my hair down and never tie it up. About a week or so later the new guy started saying the same thing 🤪 f*ck those guys... Perhaps it would make a good vetting strategy though 🤔

AstrydRyder · 2021-11-18T12:42:05+00:00

I so hate that. Most of my exes did similar things and I always accepted their "apologies." Ugh I was so young and naïve.

Love that you insta blocked that idiot. They clearly aren't worth your time. Also, how desperate is he to message you elsewhere?! Take the hint dude 😂

lostmillenia · 2021-11-18T13:09:38+00:00

"I didnt mean it that way"

Oh yeah, since your put down backfired? 🤡

Congratulations on getting rid of the problem.

Effective_Sea7031 · 2021-11-18T09:12:51+00:00

The audacity to think that any woman would give a sh*t about their scroty lil opinion...lol

Monstermagnetmarye · 2021-11-18T15:36:31+00:00

Was dating a guy for 2 months, great chemistry till he suddenly negged me when i was sick/flu. Oh poor weakkkk monstermagnet... and named my allergy/intolerance and a genetic disorder in a mocking manner. i was so stunned that he would go that low, i cut him off and he contacted me as well "wondering why?" Clowns.

23eggz · 2021-11-18T15:36:32+00:00

I think recognizing negging is one of the most important skills I've learned from fds 💜

Smurfette_Syndrome · 2021-11-18T11:27:46+00:00

The biggest issue with negging is realizing it that's being done.

I think everyone knows about it by now and we all know to shut those guys down.

It's the guys capable of subtlety that still get away with that bullshit.

Snugglebud11 · 2021-11-18T10:05:16+00:00

My toxic narcissistic boyfriend keeps negging me at all times. And whenever in an argue it's another level of shit thrown at me. And I used to keep up with this behaviour because he made me feel like I'm not good enough, that no one else would ever love me, stick by me and I trusted him! So I let him do it..

This community taught me I'm literally better off him! Been reading the side bar since few weeks and turns out this person isn't just narcissistic but is emotionally unstable as well. And that freaked me out a lot!

I've been committed to this person since 4 5 years now and meanwhile I lost every single friend I ever made in my life. If you've ever came across a narcissistic manipulator you know what they do right? They isolate you from everyone and then they control you! And that's what he did to me.

Gonna throw this manipulative narcissistic ass out the door asap! But I'm afraid, I've already lost a lot in life, cannot afford any more losses.

Wish me luck queens. I'm alone in this 💔

womaninprogressfor7 · 2021-11-18T13:18:22+00:00

And the trash takes itself out. Good job hitting that block button!

Living-Purple-8004 · 2021-11-18T13:40:48+00:00

This was so well put together and honest.....perfect.

I think every woman has had that EXACT behavior. You are 100% correct. The first sign of that garbage just block. No explanation.
They know what they are doing.

woadsky · 2021-11-18T14:43:22+00:00

It takes a certain level of self-entitlement to think that his opinion is even wanted. Gotta love the LOL. I always see that as the "tell" that a neg is coming. I'd be tempted to respond: "Blocked. LOL."

vforvendetta87 · 2021-11-18T14:31:32+00:00

It’s not just LVM doing it; I’ve had women subtly neg me. Just means they’re all insecure.

MiaNaim · 2021-11-18T16:42:45+00:00

This is Queen shit. There no need to CoMmUnIcAtE any further. He knew exactly what he was doing.

madamejesaistout · 2021-11-18T19:41:18+00:00

I had a guy friend in grad school. I very openly had a crush on him. I got bangs over spring break and when he saw me he said, "your hair looks weird!"

I said, "Don't you have two sisters? You should know better than to say something like that."

He said, "Your hair looks different."

He never wanted to date me. After a year or so I realized how lucky I was!

Aloe_You_Vera_Much · 2021-11-18T20:40:06+00:00

I dated a man who was so smooth with his words that one date he asked me about my relationship with my dad and I didn’t even really notice he did. On the next date he asked me if growing up there was anything about my appearance I was uncomfortable with.

And staring those things here sounds so obvious. But trust me he was really smooth in those conversations that I didn’t even notice he was asking these classic questions to learn something he could neg me about.

I praise FDS for teaching me the proper responses in those situations, so even though flags weren’t raised at the time, I automatically gave a good answer.

For the first, I’m actually currently not talking to me father. But I mentioned he was a sweet dad to grow up with and very funny.

For the next thing I do have one insecurity about my appearance, but I focused on all the things I do like and so he had no ammo.

Thanks FDS!!

BettyX · 2021-11-18T13:01:26+00:00

I think a lot men are telling the truth of what they really think sometimes and aren't always negging. Sure some neg to manipulate but many are dating women they believe they settled for and punish them for it. They really just don't like or respect the woman. Don't always believe it is negging, sometimes he is that big of an asshole. They assume they can say anything and you will stay with them, don't.

The_Cat_Empress · 2021-11-18T17:13:43+00:00

Whenever I see a scrote apologize through text I hear it in my head as that classic “non-apology” tone. The “sOoOrRyyyy~” like “how dare you be offended that I offended you on purpose?”

Solid-Liquid · 2021-11-18T10:33:38+00:00

I have 2 full sleeve tattoos and the amount of both older men and women that like to neg me with “why would you do that to your body, your skin looked better before” or the classic Christian neg “I would never do that to my body because I’m religious”.

Ok but like I don’t remember asking for your opinion on my tattoos…at ALL

Specific-Composer300 · 2021-11-18T22:03:53+00:00

Trust me you will never forget blocking a dude who negs but you will regret not blocking him!

londochig · 2021-11-19T02:50:23+00:00

Just came here to say you're incredibly strong and disciplined. FDS is always right but it's not easy to always implement because it requires a lot of discipline. If you texted angry paragraphs he'd have gaslit you and invalidated all of your valid anger towards his incredibly rude and inappropriate comments. He'd had hit you with " oH cAn'T yOu jUsT tAkE a JoKe, yOu'Re bEinG sO sEnSiTive. YoU're cRazY aNd OvErEaCtInG."

He sounds like an incredibly immature scrotum of a human being. If you reacted he would then you would have stroked his ego and inflated it more. Men love to get a reaction out women. Particularly a negative reaction. It feeds their ego to know they're capable of getting you riled up enough to send to send them angry paragraphs. It made them feel powerful because they have the power to control your emotions and make you send angry paragraphs.

The block was a power move on your part because the scrote panicked and try to reach you on another platform. You showed him that he has no power over you.

ax1zula · 2021-11-18T11:50:12+00:00

In future don't reply and go straight to blocking especially if they're someone you don't have to interact with at work.

Biracial_tooth_fairy · 2021-11-18T19:00:19+00:00

Queen energy👑

ArugulaIsAwesome · 2021-11-18T19:21:24+00:00

It’s just so mind boggling.

Even if a guy doesn’t know what negging is why would anyone want to be friends with someone like this.

I don’t understand how men can be pissed off that women aren’t acting like “ladies” anymore when they turn around and treat us like their guy friends… poking fun of us, trying to trip us, pranking us, etc.

I literally broke up with a boyfriend because he treated me like my brother did.

Sorry but I don’t want to have a sibling rivalry style relationship. 🤮

I shouldn’t have to explain to a guy that he is required to be nice to me in order to date me.

LizardInFirst · 2021-11-19T02:02:13+00:00

Oh man, I wish I’d listened to this 18 months ago. My ex was the master of the neg while claiming to be innocent. Some classics from him included: “Nice hot pants - shame your legs are so pale” and “I quite like your pyjamas”. 🤨 He was bad news. Negging is a red flag!

Risoa · 2021-11-18T23:36:07+00:00

I bet you looked like a total babe. Insecure idiot couldn’t handle it. Good job blocking ❤️

blesser-of-rains · 2021-11-19T00:54:52+00:00

Ah dude - I was at a festival and my brothers gf had this friends who ... took to me ? Idk.

He kept negging and negging and negging the whole day. I even told him like "that is not working on me so please stop" also every time I go out with my bro I never flirt because like why would I do that.

So annoying I swear.

BookwormJane · 2021-11-19T22:03:36+00:00

I'm an ophthalmologist and I've been chatting with this very succesful lawyer for a while. He's a Pisces and then he joked saying he'd give a fish bowl since I love fishes.

Then I told him I used to have fishes before but I bought a female fish by accident and she was pregnant. She gave birth to many baby fishes and I didn't know what to do with them.

Then he says "wow. An Ophthalmologist who doesn't know how to tell the difference between male and female fishes? Funny story."

I answered: "I was 8 years old. It would be impossible to know."

And then he said : "Would you be able to tell the difference between male and female today?"

And I answered: "I don't know. But I can tell the difference between sarcasm and a nice conversation".

He then said "Oh that wasn't my intention. I was only joking."

He didn't even apologize. I blocked and deleted him.

kansascitydream · 2021-11-18T22:32:45+00:00

👑

Ninja_Flower_Lady · 2021-11-18T18:05:13+00:00

OP did the right thing b/c this was clearly blatant negging. But on a related note, how ARE we supposed to distinguish toxic negging from genuine attempt to give constructive feedback?

SyllabubQuiet2482 · 2021-11-18T11:48:32+00:00

Nah, I usually would mirror the guy in same way. Probably bring up his past trauma, his lack of education or career or more about his looks. They learn when they go through the same thing.

InspectorGadget07 · 2021-11-25T10:41:30+00:00

https://youtu.be/L8V0VVUGdYU

This video talks about exactly the scenario you described and was insanely eye opening to me. It goes over why men do it and what a test of your self esteem etc it is- and then various kinds of responses you can give to shut it down

It really is an excellent video

Title	Do not accept negging at all. It's always made to make you feel insecure so that you emotionally depend on them for validation.
Author	_xyoungbellax_
Upvotes	1651
Comments	96
Date	November 18, 2021 8:53 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qwlmmm/do_not_accept_negging_at_all_its_always_made_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-not-accept-negging-at-all-its-always-made-to.1083494 https://theredarchive.com/post/1083494

Comments