Financially abusive Scrote strings along his 4.5 year live-in girlfriend, finally "gets engaged", yet cries when he finds out that he wasn't entitled to ALL of her money after all, etc. Next, he pitches it to the audience about whether he should take the money, then dump her any way.

yoursultana · 2022-02-25T17:11:35+00:00

So he wanted her to spend her entire income on bills so she would have 0 savings, while he would. He’s offended bc he wanted to trap her and thought he did. She’s an idiot for offering him her money. A woman should always have money for a way out. Realistically she shouldn’t have paid a cent in bills, she was extremely charitable and foolish doing that. Now he’s going to take her money and run.

savagegardenn · 2022-02-25T17:06:02+00:00

So he makes twice as much as she does and he’s mad that she was able to save and told him the truth before getting married? It’s not his money. She should have secretly kept that money hidden forever. She could celebrate her “raise” when it’s time to file taxes together.

Don’t give men money. Don’t assume men will take care of you. Maintain your independence and always have a way out. Far too many women lose everything and end up single moms because some dude decides he wants out.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2022-02-25T18:48:33+00:00

What I’m reading is that Sis subconsciously knows he’s not it, but she’s settling for whatever reasons. I can imagine my late husband being thrilled if I had made such a concession, and we would have continued with the old budget, with my “extra” continuing to go into savings. I’m basing this conjecture by his previous encouragement that I open an account solely in my name and deposit a set percentage from each of his paychecks (I was a SAHW).

F-ck this OOP. Sis did the wrong thing transferring money to him.

ConstantNurse · 2022-02-25T19:43:22+00:00

So, let me get this straight.

She set a budget with him so she could save money for her self. Over the last 3 years she saved about 7k a year because she budgeted with expenses in mind. There is nothing wrong with budgeting with the thought of saving money. In fact, isn't that what you are supposed to do to keep yourself from living paycheck to paycheck????

He's not pissed that she "lied" which she did not. He's pissed that she managed to save money under his nose because he feels he is entitled to all information. She said what she could contribute, it's not her fault he didn't plan on budgeting savings for himself and offered his whole paycheck in the equation.

ExistentialJelly · 2022-02-25T17:28:10+00:00

And then he goes and behaves in a way that explains why so many women need to have secret finances in case things go sideways.

itsirrelevant · 2022-02-25T19:37:07+00:00

My ex that baby trapped me as I was about to graduate HS tried to tell me that the car I bought using student loans as money down and took out a bank loan for the majority near the end of our horrible abusive relationship was rightfully his because he "supported me" so was owed money back. He made it impossible to work at the beginning given we were broke, had no reliable childcare, and he'd constantly come home late "from work" leaving me with having to call in, not to mention the abuse and jealousy he had over fears of me cheating while working myself, so I quit the job that was now barely giving me any hours anyway due to my unreliability and stayed home.

The last couple years of the horrible ordeal I worked as close to full time as I could (given I couldn't work full time since my job would have to pay me benefits) at a minimum wage job while in school full time.

He had totaled both cars that I owned when going into the relationship. He sold the second car he had in his name that I was using shortly after I went back to school (which he demanded I do a year early instead of waiting until kindergarten, but not to a 4 year college like I'd planned, only 2 year so it wouldn't "take as long", meaning I wouldn't make too much money) so that I would either have to buy my own or take the bus to school which was in another city and wouldn't even be doable given I had to work across town, go to school in another city hours away by bus, and do all of the housework and coordinate childcare myself. He found me a beaten up used car from a friend that cost a couple hundred dollars that I used a tiny scholarship of about that much I'd just received to buy. I am certain he planned this intentionally so that I wouldn't even have that small amount for myself and would have to spend it on a vehicle and so he'd be able to pocket the money from the car he sold to use on drinking gambling and women.

Once I finally got some extra student loans I went and purchased a heavily discounted used Audi from a distant Uncle who owned a car lot. The by now on and off abusive relationship was still going until right around when I graduated and he fully moved on to a new woman he was seeing behind my back. Once he kicked me out in the middle of the night and moved her in the next day that's when he started telling me that really he is entitled to my Audi because he supported me.

After that he stayed with this woman and had another child with her and then ended up having her work to support him while he went to school and I paid him child support. He had made it clear he would never allow a woman to take money from him and that he would do anything necessary to stop it. I believed him fully and took the path of last resistance given he's made it his mission to punish me for giving birth to the child he forced me into having.

After all that in he would still sometimes tell me how much he realized his mistake and how great I was in comparison, in between the constant berating and harassment. When he and the new woman finally broke it off he really dug in trying to get back together and finally I brought up many of the horrible things he'd done to me. His response was to chuckle and say "you remember that?"

The only thing that really ever stuck with him was my having once called him a conniving weasel. At least the man has some sense of self...

I wish the worst for the man who posted this. Men who themselves are abusive gold digging leeches seem to always be the ones whining and crying about how women are out to use them. I do hope in the end someone convinces him to leave her since that is the best case scenario this poor young woman can hope for.

Jandi18 · 2022-02-25T18:44:09+00:00

Hé Saïd they are going towards 50/50. Will he carry their child for 4 months when she gets prego? Will they keep doing 50/50 while she is on maternity leave? I really hope she leaves! Financial abuse? Sure I also have water from Mars to sell to you.

queenofswordsxxx · 2022-02-25T19:38:40+00:00

I like how he thinks that he was aBuSed into ‘subsidising her living’ when it’s literally HIS financial abuse when HE demanded 50-50 from a woman that makes substantially less than him.

50-50 in these situations are NEVER equitable. Chances are she’s doing the bulk of the domestic labour too so it doubles down on the unfairness.

coreg78 · 2022-02-25T17:08:44+00:00

This is actually hilarious. She needs to take her money back and leave him. Why is he entitled to the 22k SHE saved? See in the end she was right to trust herself and put that money aside for herself cause deep down her intuition she knew this man was cheap and would not be there for her. What’s funny is that the lie she told about her salary difference is not even huge or a big deal, after taxes it’s not much which is evident from the fact that after 4.5 years she could only put away $22k. Ugh this guy is so gross 🤮 let me be entitled to your money, body, emotional and physical labour but here’s a $1k ring in exchange.

purasangria · 2022-02-25T22:31:00+00:00

WTAF. This guy got a free bangmaid, made twice as much money, and is still big mad because she saved her money, and now wants to go 50/50?

This girl needs to have her head examined. She's the one being financially abused.

Expensive-Worker5767 · 2022-02-25T19:35:19+00:00

It was none of his business how much money she was making. He probably pressured her into telling him and felt uncomfortable. He should want to provide for her regardless of how much she makes. I hope she leaves him. He didn’t need her money he just wanted it. Also saving for yourself is an expense, a lot of financial planners say to pay yourself first (ie saving)

alpinepunch2021 · 2022-02-25T20:13:26+00:00

Imagine she did spend all her money on him for the sake of splitting the bills 'fairly' and in the end he did dump her and she had absolutely nothing left. The kicker is they weren't even married - why would men expect you to combine your finances with them in any way at all, in general, but especially if you're not married??

AphoticEnigma_ · 2022-02-25T21:16:08+00:00

Why did she confess, worse why did she offer him the savings

He’s just salty she was smart enough to save that much

myheartisfulloflove · 2022-02-25T22:10:21+00:00

So men can waste years of our lives and it’s nbd but when we waste their time by stashing secret money away, we’re the bad guys? Nah.

TheMostOfMe · 2022-02-25T16:54:07+00:00

Why does he feel entitled to her WHOLE savings? He assumes she wouldn’t have saved any if she had been paying her own way the way he thought she should. Weird assumption.

Mighty_Wombat42 · 2022-02-25T23:37:24+00:00

My theory is that the reason he sees this as him “abusing” her is because he is projecting. He is manipulating and using her, but also harming himself by staying in a relationship with a woman he clearly despises and wants to see suffer.

Assuming these are $USD values, $22k a year is generally the poverty line in this country so if she’s making $20k a year, she is likely not even scraping by. She should not have offered him money, told him about the savings, told him how much she made, or moved in with him before engagement. But he is more to blame because if he were a decent person he would have walked away instead of mooching off her meager income for years.

aquietsword · 2022-02-25T21:11:20+00:00

Who wants to bet she's been cooking his meals, washing his clothes, and playing therapist affording him the ability to focus solely on his career and increasing his income? All so they can go 50/50.

shelballama · 2022-02-25T19:19:58+00:00

I SAW THIS. So she was making way less and was just his gf. Now he's making double and as punishment wants to go FiFtY FiFtY so she subsidizes him while she herself can't save.

He and most of the commenters clearly don't understand basic ass math or have ethics on why she shouldn't have to explain that she squirreled away a meager few thousand a year for safety reasons.

I_was_there_for_you · 2022-02-25T17:56:50+00:00

I have a HVM fiancé. He even understands women have to protect themselves financially at all costs. He has heard my stories of women in my family unable to financially leave their abusers. He knows I have an emergency savings if things go downhill with him relationship wise.

This is a non-problem for a HVM that is financially stable with or without a partner.

Platipus6 · 2022-02-25T17:54:33+00:00

This is exactly what happens when men feel entitled to everything from women. Our time, housekeeping, cooking, child rearing, and now our earnings.

When we keep OUR things to ourselves, they feel attacked, betrayed, resentful and as if we stole it from them.

He hates her now and is going to run and not feel bad in the slightest. He’ll feel he got what he was owed.

Sis thought she was buying his love, but she’s starting over from scratch now. Very foolish.

idiosyncraticg1 · 2022-02-25T21:36:02+00:00

LOL. When I saw the title I thought that she lied about making 50k when she was actually making 100k. Not lying about making minimum wage when she was actually making a few dollars above.

A subsidy of $22k over 3 years is roughly $600 a month. That does seem like a lot considering his income is (was) $40k, but how much could she have saved if she told the truth? She probably would’ve ended up saving somewhat close to the amount since it seems like they were splitting things based on income and she lied only by 10k.

MarleySB · 2022-02-25T17:23:15+00:00

Wait, he made more than here & is crying about how much she saved? Why wasn’t he saving too? & why the hell did she tell him anything? She’s foolish.

BedazzledSwashbuckle · 2022-02-25T18:45:15+00:00

OMG. No.

Has she been warned?

can anyone send me the un-redacted screenshots? It would be nice if she got an anonymous email / message with these in it.

BrightIdeaGenerator · 2022-02-26T00:59:52+00:00

Yet, I've been told I wasn't entitled to my long time boyfriends money when I lived with him for 8 years, ended up homeless after breaking up, and he bought a house.. Hmmm. Interesting.

thebearflair · 2022-02-25T16:44:13+00:00

Omg she should have never given him her saved money and she should run. Relationships are so fucked these days.

xdecadent · 2022-02-26T04:53:32+00:00

This is the “mad money” our mothers and grandmothers told us to have in case of emergency. The fact that she handed over $22K to this man is APPALLING.

She should have taken that to the grave. There is no use in being totally honest and transparent with a man. A lady always has her mystery! (And her own money, too!!)

all_or_nothing_bet · 2022-02-25T19:15:51+00:00

And read how he says, "I could have spent those money somewhere else." HE could have spent HER money. WTF?? He outed himself as a golddigger who planned to mooch off of her, making her spent every dime of her little salary subsidizing his bills and providing domestic work for free. Now he is screeching mad because he didn't suck her dry. He is a vulture.

Without this parasite, she could have lived in a small studio that she could afford, pay her own little bills and save MORE than 22k without feeling guilty about it and without being harassed and abused over it.

Snoo-86636 · 2022-02-25T16:39:01+00:00

If she seriously considers giving him 23k, she is as stupid as those women who got fooled by the tinder swindler.

saragc92 · 2022-02-25T17:55:25+00:00

Towards the end of my abusive relationship, I had to hide money to be able to leave safely.

scorchedsouI · 2022-02-26T07:11:40+00:00

With the insane rates of male-on-female violence and abuse it's common sense that a woman should keep a large fraction of her money for herself and her safety. Nothing is more crucial in society that the financial independence and safety of women in the case of emergency.

Zurflu · 2022-02-25T17:52:34+00:00

I could have used that money elsewhere and her lie prevented me from doing that.

Soo, he wishes he had spent the 20k she saved? They can still use the money, she saved it... where is his savings? Does this dude blow 100% of his higher income on vidya and OF? What does he wish he spent it on? 🤔🤔

The_Cat_Empress · 2022-02-25T21:00:19+00:00

Men can have all the power and make double the amount you do and it’s STILL NOT ENOUGH.

50/50?! With what?! You want her in the poorhouse dude? And who does the chores?! JFC these entitled men. Just BE. SINGLE if you’re going to be a prick.

LilyMunsterIsQueen · 2022-02-25T17:13:19+00:00

Are people calling him out over there?

Commercial_Place9807 · 2022-02-25T17:14:48+00:00

I hope she tells him to get fucked, takes the money she saved and bounces.

Ashamed-Reputation-2 · 2022-02-26T14:20:33+00:00

He still makes double her income and he's actually considering making her pay 50/50....you would've thought she was secretly making 100k wth. And I hope she didn't actually give him her savings. If he's griping about you lying about your salary by like 3-5k a year, do you really think he's not going to fuck you over smh. I also feel like this is an excuse to trade her in. She held him down while he was coming up from damn near poverty. Now that he's making decent money for a single, childless adult, he has access to the women he probably wanted when he was broke. He doing way too much to throw away a "perfect" woman and a 5 yr relationship for $400/month.

seraphinelysion · 2022-02-26T03:30:53+00:00

He literally said, "I always thought of my money as ours..." Then why you mad, bro?

themissdaydreamer · 2022-02-26T15:42:01+00:00

The thing is that even if she disclosed her income, he still makes twice as much money as her. How could they have a 50/50 budget when there's such an income gap in both scenarios?? It was only fair he had to pay for most of the expenses.

Also, let's talk about the 22k he was so hungry for, shall we? Did anyone do the math? Because I did. And it helped me undestand the situation better.

She saved up 22k in 3 years, so she saved about $7,333 per year (22k / 3), and about $611.11 per month (22k /36). So this is guy, who was earning about $5,400 per month by the 3rd year of living together (65k /12), feels betrayed because didn't have access to more $600 from her wallet. This says everything I need to know about him, and his reaction proves she was right in her decision.

This woman did such a great job being so responsible and disciplined with her money, sadly she lost all the smart points after wiring him the money that wasn't his. I guess we can take from the story is that being finantially savvy is also about being knowing who we can trust.

obs.: I did the math considering absolute numbers, so please bear with me for any accuracy mistakes.

edwardianemerald · 2022-02-25T17:01:14+00:00

He should've paid more attention and vetted her better if this was so important to him. I now am putting the onus of every single thing on men, just as they do to us.

it_was_just_here · 2022-02-26T14:29:19+00:00

The only mistake she made was telling him about the money. Doesn't matter how much you may love him, every smart woman should already know to keep a piece of her money in a place where her husband couldn't get to it.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-02-26T14:58:48+00:00

woman: saves money

scrote: financial abuse!

this made me chortle.

shoesfromparis135 · 2022-02-27T21:34:11+00:00

This is honestly so depressing and scary. I can’t believe she gave him all that money. She will regret that in the future. This makes me never want to date ever again. So unsettling.

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