Cake and eat it too?

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-11-14T00:59:08+00:00

I think it’s mostly because there aren’t that many redpilled women in general and the ones that are out there (half of whom are men larping) don’t frequent this sub.

That leaves bluepilled women and purple pilled women. I probably disagree politically with most of the bluepillers here, especially the women, but the conversation is rarely aligned in such a way that it comes up. Most of the posts default to male vs. female.

richard_golbes · 2023-11-14T00:49:38+00:00

The problem is that the scenarios you guys set up as “gotchas” for the supposed double-standard (ex. the go-bags) are clear false-equivalences that fail the basic sniff test for coherent logic. It’s feeble and it gets dismissed as such.

Plenty of individual women with bad takes get criticized by other women here and elsewhere.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-11-14T00:03:07+00:00

He can have his test. He needs to find a woman that's okay with them upfront. You can't randomly accuse someone of cheating and the be like it's nothing, I trust you, but I want to be sure. If I ask you to take a DNA test because some bitch said you knocked her up it's 100% because I believe there's a chance you cheated and are willing to lie to me. There's no way around that. There's no i trust you, but I am not your dick and need that assurance. I think you fucked around. The problem is not being up front and saying I need a paternity test before you get serious, married, or have kids. "But she might leave me if I do that." Well yeah, you're acting like a bitch without a backbone that would rather hurt her and accuse her or cheating than risk not getting pussy because you can't find more. What do you expect her to do?

Financial_Leave4411 · 2023-11-14T01:06:17+00:00

Other than the paternity test, which is mostly just men stating they think the mother of their kid cheated; what other issues do you not see being called out? You talk about there being a problem but you’re not listing any examples in your OP.

Sorcha16 · 2023-11-14T00:12:34+00:00

He can ask for a paternity test, he'd get one and a divorce. I don't take being accused of cheating and attempted paternity fraud. I don't think I could get over such accusations from someone who knows and loves me.

azurix · 2023-11-14T05:04:11+00:00

Double standards exist from both sides. You see men call other men out since you’re a man. Women see women get called out.

Both sides like to pretend like one side is neutral good while the other is bad. You fell too deep into your bias.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-11-14T01:12:58+00:00

Women defend men here all the time, you downvote them, and accuse them of lying

No-Resource2745 · 2023-11-14T01:08:24+00:00

Having a go bag just in case isn’t something exclusive to live-in relationship situations, it’s a useful thing that many single adults have. Like let’s say there’s a wildfire that starts in your local area, or just a fire a few houses down in an urban situation, it’s a good idea to have a go bag to grab while you’re running out the door.

AlysArria · 2023-11-14T01:08:30+00:00

I'm a trad woman and I constantly get challenged, especially by other women, on this subreddit. I also praise men.

nemma88 · 2023-11-14T09:38:52+00:00

Oh he can't ask for a paternity test but I can have my go bag just Incase... The double standards

They're not usually within the same comment, I don't presume they're the same people unless I see it is.

Especially on PPD, more likely to comment when they disagree with the premise of whatever the OP is, while those who agree don't comment- the sub is set up like this to spur debate.

I think discomfort at paternity testing and not having a go bag is where most women are. I've never even considered a go bag. Maybe it's the threads I read but I havn't seen it discussed either.

Something-bothersome · 2023-11-14T10:10:37+00:00

There has been versions of the “go bag” for generations. Hasn’t anyone heard of Grandma pressing money in her granddaughter’s hand on her wedding day and telling her to hide it “just in case”?

Maybe it’s finally falling by the wayside if it is as unknown as it appears in this thread, but it’s not as uncommon as you may think. I would be strongly confident that this is where the woman in the OP’s post got it from - Mum, Grandma, Great Grandmother and so on. It’s not limited to “women that have a history of abuse”, I think it probably runs pretty strongly in some families, like that family pie recipe. I suspect that the “good old days” resulted in some lingering habits.

If it makes you feel any better it would not make a blind bit of difference who she married, it’s just learnt behaviour. Kind of like some families buy guns I guess “just in case”, it’s not like they generally have someone in mind they are hoping to shoot (I hope).

obviousredflag · 2023-11-14T10:12:02+00:00

Women are not responsible for what other women do. They don't need to distance themselves from other women's crazyness, nor do they need to defend men to show they don't support what another woman said.

I don't need to be defended by women. I like when women give me the space to defend myself and don't take that away from me. I am pretty capable of defending myself.

If you want to repair gender relations with this post, you are doing a very bad job.

MistyMaisel · 2023-11-14T05:35:41+00:00

I can't say I've really seen any takes here by women I find wildly disagreeable. They are probably living in ways I personally wouldn't, but, nothing I'd say like: no, you shouldn't be allowed to live like that or that is the most moronic thing I've ever heard ever in a million years. At most some go a little over-board for my tastes, but again, nothing so outrageous as to require my intervention.

Frankly, the same is largely true from the men here as well. I think the only people I go hard in the paint for are people talking about going after very very young and innocent women (wannabe predators) or people who think lying for sex is fine (sexual assault artists).

After that, the only reason I'm answering is because I'm bored and tend to think the person I'm talking to is miserable and unsuccessful in romance. And, as much as I often find them annoying, I would prefer they found love and happiness and their woman (I'm a saint). I'd correct the women more often, but statistically speaking their happiness isn't with a man /s

As for Paternity tests, y'all are totally free to get one...just accept the consequences of your actions. What are you allergic to accountability? Y'all love cause and effect, right. Well, when you tell your woman that you think it's theoretically potentially possibly statistically possible that she's a lying cheating betrayer second only to Judas...well, they tend to take that sort of thing the wrong way. Lord knows why, emotional creatures, am I right? Makes no bloody sense. Why can't they see your questioning of their honor and love is...well it's just you being rational, logical, and mathematical. Has nothing to do with them, this is just about knowing things. Gosh, why are they so upset and divorcing you for being so reasonable.

Wait wait wait, I'm sure some of you will say that if it were mandatory there'd be no such accusation. Except...there would, it would just be an accusation leveled at women. All of us. All of us have to be tested because we cannot be trusted. As a decent woman, I take offense to the notion that I am less trustworthy than a man. No man has to endure medical testing to prove his faithfulness to me. Even tho statistically men cheat more often and particularly on pregnant women. I know, I know, no test exists, or I'm sure men would love to take it, right. They've got nothing to hide unlike us lying bitches. They wouldn't be insulted by the premise that they're untrustworthy.

Oh, I know, you'll bring up that cheating isn't as bad as raising a baby that isn't yours...except...well, that's not rationally or reasonably true, is it? The only difference is in who you're dedicated to that isn't really yours. The man is dedicated to a baby. The woman is dedicated to a man. Both of them are living in a lie created by someone else. Except, and this is intriguing, if he raises that baby and looks after it and loves it...he's the baby's father. Adoption is real. Sure, it's not his biologically, but socially and realistically, that's his baby.

The woman on the other hand has no such comfort to find in being cheated on. A man who steps out on you isn't your man. It's just your turn, or worse, you're just his fool and cow. There's no good spin for if you find out someday. Your life is just ruined.

Dad on the other hand, I mean, don't you all love to rub in women's faces that you can have kids at 90? So...your loss is arguably much less. Just hurt feelings in your case. Nothing a bit of therapy can't fix.

Still, I'm a giver. If we have to endure a paternity test, men have to let ug go through all online profiles and data to determine if they will be allowed in the child's life. If not, we will assume it is because they're hiding behavior that makes them an unacceptable influence on the child. If he agrees and is acceptable based on our standards, then they can have weekends. Should they fail this test, they're out. Don't worry...I'm sure all of you would pass, right? All these women you're having babies with wouldn't mind the things you say on PPD.

Y'all are so worried about not being someone's real father, I'd recommend spending half a seconds thought on if a woman would want you to be the father if she knew half the poison y'all spit. And if your answer to that is: well I'd never tell her...exactly. You're not different than them, you're liars too. Just got a different thing to hide.

DimensionVegetable37 · 2023-11-14T02:00:35+00:00

Remove alimony and divorce laws that simple. Those accuse men of cheating up front do they not?

Jamaica made paternity test mandatory for a reason. Because cheating was crazy high.

You can't have laws that force men to raise other men's children when a woman cheats. By that stupid logic women should have to pay for children a man has when he cheats. And go to prison if she refuses to pay.

ATasteofTx214 · 2023-11-14T01:17:46+00:00

I completely agree with men that paternity testing should happen automatically at childbirth. I think women that disagree would quickly change their stance if some girl claimed she was pregnant with their son's baby. I think regardless of the level of trust between partners, the stakes r way too high to not address any looming insecurity. I believe the same about prenuptial agreements.

I call out my friend and family on this topic frequently; I don't call strangers because my speech is too nuanced and i don't care that much tbh

Cyfiefie · 2023-11-14T05:04:07+00:00

Bs, i went on the female incel subs and got banned on all of them. I call all bs wherever.

RevolutionaryOkra679 · 2023-11-14T04:37:39+00:00

The reason women get so offended at the paternity test question is because it’s an insult to their ego.

“How DARE he view me as anything other than the perfect housewife who would never do anything wrong”

Safinated · 2023-11-14T06:41:45+00:00

Men are trying to as well, so why can’t we?

tiddermacss · 2023-11-14T03:11:37+00:00

women don’t want any accountability for their actions simple.. its always someone else’s fault snd they are perfect little angles

DerayRevan · 2023-11-13T23:48:23+00:00

Just leave it, gynocentrism is all this sub

januaryphilosopher · 2023-11-14T06:48:34+00:00

All this tells me is what you're looking at. I for one have been on all the posts (admittedly, often by men who don't seem to think much of men) saying men only care about sex, aren't attractive, don't have morals, want to accuse their partners of lying all the time by making them doing stupid tests, etc, defending them and saying I think men are better. I remember on the go bag post being among many others who defended men getting these bags, and I don't know why defending the bags would mean you should defend men getting a completely different thing too.

Geselshaft · 2023-11-14T00:18:59+00:00

One day you’ll realize that despite all the women here claiming to have advanced degrees, UMC lives, and attractive, they’re really just bitter old man hating feminists that use this place to spread propaganda and lies about literally everything.

They don’t debate “in good faith”, they just keep pushing the same 1970s lies and Marxist “oppression” nonsense that none of them have experienced, other than being insulin dependent.

Cupcakes are very oppressive to feminists.

NefariousnessLife220 · 2023-11-14T00:58:05+00:00

Why would you want to have cake and not eat it?

deste_eloise · 2023-11-14T01:11:09+00:00

Why do you need to ask your wife for a paternity test? Can you just … not do it yourself? Either be upfront about it (mention it’s important to you while dating) or make sure she never finds out. Same with go-bags, the husband is not supposed to know about it (..purpose kinda goes out the window if he finds out and she’d actually need it).

Go-bags are also more relevant for those who are most vulnerable (another reason not to be SAHM), men who fear of domestic abuse should definitely have one too.. it can be a life or death situation.

Captainsignificance · 2023-11-27T08:43:19+00:00

Well because society as a whole is ok with bashing and dehumanizing men. You can see it in commercials, in movies, in academia etc. Women can openly disparage men. A woman can publicly say men are garbage, men are retards etc. and will often be celebrated for those comments. On the other hand if a man says the slightest negative thing about women he’s immediately labeled a misogynist etc. There was an episode on the “Talk” when women laughed and clapped about a man whose penis was cut off by his wife. There was no negative repercussions whatsoever. Imagine if it was reversed - The entire show would be shut down. We live in a society (western society) that has been going through a concerted effort by leaders, government and corporations to empower women and debilitate men for the last 50 years and they have been very successful. Look at colleges and universities where almost 65 % of graduates are now women. In the early 70’s when college attendance were 54% in favor of men, there were all kinds of efforts to raise women’s attendance through scholarships, women centers, implementation of title ix etc. But today with the situation reversed but much much worse no one even discusses it. If anyone brings up the plight of men such as the high rates of suicides they will be immediately accused of being a misogynist.

ornamentalwallpaper · 2023-11-14T00:14:53+00:00

The reason why women are not called out is because men and women are different.

Moon-on-my-mind · 2023-11-14T05:13:09+00:00

If it's fair for the man, who supposedly loves and trusts me to accuse me of cheating with that test, it's fair for me to accept the test and end the union. There is no relationship without trust. And because i do not desire to be a single mother (since men villify them and react in disgust), i will plop the kid in his arms and i am out. If it's fair for men to walk away, it's fair for women too. An eye for an eye yes?

What is this you say, having emergency funds is... the same as accusing one of cheating? Well then, all people in the world who have savings accounts and "rainy day" funds must be devious no? Imagine, installing a safety net in a highrise building being seen as bad by the workers hanging from the top of it. No one is accusing the rope, the workers, the structure...but errors and disasters happen, out of our control... that's what the safety net is for. It's for stuff that can happen out of our control. And when i say "our" control i am hinting at the fact that the couple are together, married, i am referring at both people, as one. A team.

It's tougher for a woman, a mother, who had to put prosperity on hold for those kids, to make it work in the unfortunate event something happens to the husband, or even to her! Men get up and dust off with greater ease and means. The world was built by men, for men. (Right, small exceptions were made to help and protect the woman in the legal system of USA, but the world doesnt revolve around your country. This world that's NOT built for her).

But for a woman? To suddenly be in a dangerous situation, suddenly being thrown in the streets, suddenly being in a life threatening situation? Suddenly losing her man in an accident, there's bills, debts, childcare to pay? Healthcare?? That money is for survival.

With this poorly thought out analogy, you are putting critical survival money in the same category of a pathetic 150$ per month in childcare. Child support is a shameful amount, it's pathetic, kids are very expressive, and in this crumbling economy, that doesn't even buy the kid a school uniform.

Oli_love90 · 2023-11-14T02:03:48+00:00

This is kind of an impossible ask though? How can I police how other, random women treat men? You could argue that I can start with the women I know but I simply don’t know women who treat men terribly.

I think this implies that all women recognize that there’s specific issues between the sexes when in fact they don’t. Even this post, I have no clue what the call to action is.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-11-14T00:14:24+00:00

You don't know about the "sisterhood"? women because their power is in the realm of the social will always back other women even ones they disagree with because it doesn't benefit women socially to side with men unless they want to be pariahs and pickme's like Pearl Davis.

sunologie · 2023-11-14T07:13:34+00:00

I’ve never heard of the go bag thing before lol

jay10033 · 2023-11-14T00:17:45+00:00

Men need to simply enforce the penalty. If you are accused of cheating, you do exactly what they say they'd do and ask for a divorce and/or break up. Women who threaten this typically believe they should be believed and not questioned at all, while they will accuse and question their men because of their past "traumas".

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NefariousnessLife220 · 2023-11-14T04:34:52+00:00

Blue and Purple Pill women outnumber Red Pill women in this sub from my observations. That’s prob why you’re not seeing it as often, but it does happen. I’d be happy to link you to a comment thread that happened just today.

Quirky-Fly-4119 · 2023-11-14T05:16:12+00:00

Do rich people have to take responsibility for all rich people? Or black people all black people? Or christians all christians? Do you take responsibility for all men and all of their actions historically and presently all over the world?

444oo · 2023-11-14T12:19:07+00:00

I had to google what a GO bag is after reading this post. What’s wrong with a GO bag? If your girlfriend has the need of having a GO bag, doesn’t that mean you’re abusive, or she was abused before ??

I’m confused because the post implies that a GO bag is something bad.

Familiesarenations · 2023-11-14T20:53:22+00:00

Pretty sure everyone in that post told you that you CAN get a paternity test.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2023-11-14T22:33:30+00:00

I agree with standard paternity tests, assuming we can ensure all samples are destroyed after. But I'd probably leave if there were no standard paternity tests and a guy I'm with requests one. Because in scenario one it's just a standard procedure. Like a pap smear or a dentist appointment. In the second scenario it implies distrust. And I don't tolerare that shit.

I don't necessarily believe in a go bag at all. A go bag I think is useful back in the day when women couldn't leave toxic relationships and often settled down with a man they may not have fully trusted or loved because of societal pressure.

I do think that in couples where one person takes time off from work or childcare, that a standard contract like a pre-nup is in place to ensure that in the event of a break up or a death the person taking a finacial hit isn't trapped. That's just sensible regardless of gender. To be honest a discussion of finances and labour division in general is sensible

And I don't understand women who have children with men and who don't make provisions up front about it. But it's their life so meh.

WhatyouDontwantoHear · 2023-11-15T15:13:43+00:00

OP's life experience is entirely online it seems.

Title	Cake and eat it too?
Author	Gold_Supermarket1956
Upvotes	32
Comments	281
Date	November 13, 2023 11:35 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17uofmg/cake_and_eat_it_too/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cake-and-eat-it-too.1238387 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238387

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