CMV: Many acts that would get a man labled as "Toxic" are tolerated when women do it.

wtknight · 2023-06-02T23:59:23+00:00

OP, please make a small edit to your post in order to bring up the AutoModerator.

kukkle1111 · 2023-06-03T03:33:06+00:00

Many acts that would get a man labled as "Toxic" are tolerated when women do it.

Yep. This is a post from a FTM trans Reddit user that explains this perfectly.

“It's just kinda weird how at least in left circles, especially among my friends, when women want to explore their sexuality they are encouraged, (sex is a normal and beautiful thing) and when some women fail at finding romance or sex they get comforted "Don't worry, men are shallow" and will blame society and the beauty standards women are held up to, but when guys fail at romance or sex they are villainized as perverts for wanting sex, telling them "sex doesn't matter" or called entitled for being sexually frustrated and blaming societal standards.”

When you’re a man, everything you do regarding s-e-x is weird, nasty, disgusting, and creepy. This user found out the hard way.

bluestjuice · 2023-06-02T22:46:17+00:00

"When looking for a life partner, my advice to men is date all of them: the bad girls, the cool girls, the commitment-phobic girls, the crazy girls. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad girls sexy do not make them good wives. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks men should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do her share in the home. These women exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."

This seems fine honestly.

richard_golbes · 2023-06-03T00:22:06+00:00

Can you imagine for one moment, if a famous man said such a thing with the genders reversed

Older men have been telling younger men some version of "sow your wild oats" for at least a century at this point. I'm sure you can find several examples of someone "famous" saying this.

JumboJetz · 2023-06-02T22:42:16+00:00

I think you picked dog shit examples.

I actually agree to a point with your point but your examples are such shit.

Better examples would be violence. A woman slapping a man has been seen as an appropriate response in some cases (moreso in the past - thankfully this is changing).

Being controlling is another way. A woman who expects her man to tell her where he is and check in with her wouldn’t have people thinking the man is in an abusive relationship the way it would with women.

Expecting to be paid for is the last one. A man who never paid is a bum and a leech. A woman who does that is still a worthwhile woman potentially.

Fragmented79 · 2023-06-03T09:47:21+00:00

And another thing - in an older man / younger woman relationship, the man is ALWAYS seen as the “predator” taking advantage of a naive and gullible young woman. As if women never use their youth and beauty to manipulate a rich and affluent man (aka gold digger). Anna Nicole Smith anyone?

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-06-02T22:53:08+00:00

Olivia Wilde is 39, Harry styles is 29 (10 years)

Hiba Abouk is 36, Achraf Hakim is 24 (12 years)

Leonardo DiCaprio is 48, and per your post his gf is 19 (29 years)

Your equivalency is not equivalent

basedmama21 · 2023-06-03T11:21:44+00:00

I cannot nor will not try to CYV because this is 100% accurate. Source: I have a mother who bragged that she knew how to beat me without leaving bruises. But because of how she presented herself in society, I was in the wrong/crazy for even trying to get help

But all I see is people saying men are unsafe. Riiiight. Try being stuck in a house with a dark triad mother for your adolescence.

Far-Literature-737 · 2023-06-03T08:56:00+00:00

I guess I'm the only one that doesn't see a problem in it, as long as they're an adult I don't care how large the age gap is.

tinableuu · 2023-06-02T22:48:54+00:00

I don’t get y do everyone care about who and what Leo dates?? guys n girls be so into celebrity relationships and can barely even maintain there own

trippingfingers · 2023-06-02T22:49:15+00:00

I think Olivia Wilde gets a pass because Harry Styles is a famous person who usually dates older women. Otherwise, whatever media sources you're referencing don't seem to represent the general opinion I see online in any of the various spheres I've checked in on- overall, everybody agrees that it's equally sketchy for a powerful, rich female celebrity to date a guy who's less than half their age as it is for a powerful, rich male celebrity to date a woman half his age.

Active-Razzmatazz-86 · 2023-06-03T04:34:53+00:00

Sheryl Sandberg have idea of beta buxxing

10throwawayantsy · 2023-06-02T23:43:53+00:00

Why does shit a random person said matter?

ChiBron86 · 2023-06-03T01:32:44+00:00

Just accept that the West pretty much declared an all-out war on men 30+ years ago. You cannot consume any type of media from the 90's onward that doesn't heavily promote the women-are-wonderful and men-are-pigs propaganda. And it has gotten progressively more extreme with time. Anything short of blatant female privilege and superiority is considered misogynistic today. That's what modern feminism is. And this isn't even getting into how the legislative side (divorce & affirmative action) completely fucked men over.

All of this essentially gave birth to what is known as The Redpill today. Men got tired of the blatant misandry, the shameless double standards, the lack of equality and 0 accountability and decided to hit back. And boy do women hate it lol

harmonica2 · 2023-06-03T00:57:59+00:00

it's a double standard. Bothers me how people are still double standard in this day and age.

raldabos · 2023-06-04T00:52:21+00:00

Ignoring the age thing, I agree wit your title. I'm a men in my 30 and the amount of men I know that end up in relationships with women who behave in a way that if they were men people will call them "maniputalitve and toxic" is way too high.

Among the most common things: women who abuse them physically, and emotionally.

AnyIntroduction3288 · 2023-06-03T01:33:26+00:00

Leonardo di caprio’s age: 48

Girlfriend’s age: 19

Age gap: 29 years

Hiba abouk age (who I didn’t know existed until today): 36

Acerada Hakim age: 24

Age gap: 12 years

Olivia Wilde age: 39

Harry styles age: 29

Age gap: 10 years

You are comparing a 29 year age gap with a 10-12 year age gap

MANY men have a 10–12 year age gap with the younger women they date and nobody says anything

Many men also have a relationship with dramatically younger women over like 30 and no one says anything.

In this situation with Leo, it’s a 29 year old age gap with a woman who was a child 2 years ago.

questioningfeminist · 2023-06-02T23:20:36+00:00

No automod

Even though re***ded feminists will deny it, we live in a fully gynocentric society where women can say, do and act any way they please.

Just look at how Brock Turner is treated because he got a slap on the wrist for sexually assaulting a girl. (Although re***ded feminists can't distinguish sexual assault from rape) vs the MULTITUDE of female teachers that have raped students and given ZERO jail time.

neetykeeno · 2023-06-03T04:22:05+00:00

Why do you regard women trying to build worth in their lives right out the gate as soon as they can whether or not they have found a life partner yet... including getting qualifications, good jobs and buying real estate as being passive aggressive to men?

I mean seriously it's not like there's any worldwide shortage of brokeass bitches if that's what you prefer...and a lot of men find it a pleasant surprise when the woman they fancy has enough assets that forming a household with her doesn't involve going backwards financially.

Ockwords · 2023-06-03T06:30:46+00:00

Hiba Abouk and Achraf Hakim

Imma be honest man, I don't think many americans read "The Daily Sabah" so we probably missed what happened to him, or them, or whoever you're talking about.

Olivia Wild and Harry styles

There was a shit ton of drama with them and their relationship, no one really cared about their ages though because it's a 10 year difference and harry is 29, not 19.

Sabrepill · 2023-06-02T23:52:29+00:00

Left leaning, woke, blue pilled, vegan, muppet, feminist ideology is spreading around like wildfire. It’s like an ice age that’s now hitting places like Eastern Europe as well.

The good news is that these types of people generally don’t want kids, abort their kids, or have only one kid. Their fertility rates are so low that within a few hundred years their ideology will likely go extinct along with the gene pools of all who were brainwashed by it

EugeneCezanne · 2023-06-03T01:17:12+00:00

"When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."

First, I doubt 1 woman in 10 would recognize this "famous" quote. But more importantly, I do think you can gender flip this is only a couple of minor edits. And the reason for these edits is sociohistorical context. Like, you wouldn't want to say "crazy girls" or "her share in the home," because those concepts have been abused too much already.

I do agree that, overall, there is a huge double standard about what you're allowed to say about each gender. Like, you can still make popular memes about men catastrophically dying while women enjoy a nice picnic or whatever here in 2023.

YveisGrey · 2023-06-03T15:07:47+00:00

There’s the so called “double standards” and there’s facts:

Men are far more likely to date way younger than women

Men are encouraged to “sow their wild oats” before settling down and getting married so not sure why Sandberg’s quote is a problem.

Women used to be barred from university due to their sex and globally girls are a lot more likely to be denied access to education than boys

Divorce settlements are also based on historical context whereby women were expected to be dependents of their husbands. Even today far more women are stay at home parents with little to no income vs men

In regards to violence, almost all serious violence is perpetuated by men. Men are responsible for 90% of homicides now men are actually more likely to be victims of violent crime but their biggest safety threat are other men not women. You’re mad about women beating up men in movies meanwhile men are murdering other men daily. No one cares about this because women aren’t actually a threat to men, men are mainly being violently victimized by other men not women. Women are mainly being victims by … MEN, not women.

The violence stats are also why women’s shelters are prioritized. Women are victimized at higher rates than the actual violence they perpetuate.

Ill-Menu5401 · 2023-06-02T23:28:31+00:00

Yes, because men have an out-group preference for women, and women have an in-group preference for fellow women. Everybody prefers women and nobody prefers men.

bob88c · 2023-06-03T02:11:06+00:00

They have pussies…it doesn’t matter!

magiksissclit · 2023-06-03T04:59:03+00:00

Oh this thread again.

Rather than taking responsibility for toxic behavior,.it's "but mommy, she did it first." Curing toxic behavior is not a game of chicken. You don't get rewarded for passing the buck. The reward comes from healing your own individual toxic behavior and freeing yourself from the minutia that comes with..

Why is this so complicated?

Chemical_Major_1403 · 2023-06-03T09:26:41+00:00

Men played a huge part of this, if I'm not wrong , men always took women's side in relationships, essentially playing the best friend who believe everything a woman said, and always be their for her, men treated women better than they treated men ever and now when women didn't reciprocate , they are trying to find guidance from HVM who they called pigs, @ssholes and douchbags in front of women

womandatory · 2023-06-03T06:06:05+00:00

Actually, women who date younger men are just as predatory. Why don’t you hear more about it? Because it doesn’t happen nearly as often as men doing it.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-06-03T17:56:35+00:00

Jesus christ, are you GPT?

It's not man vs woman, it's high-value person vs low-value person.

Most women are higher value than most men, high-value men get away with a lot.

Good luck

deborah_sampson_ · 2023-06-03T06:45:44+00:00

"When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."

Can you imagine for one moment, if a famous man said such a thing with the genders reversed?

This level of fragility is stunning. To be clear, you're getting offended by Sandberg (whom I don't consider to be a feminist at all, but rather just another white woman who made the patriarchal bargain) giving dating advice to women that encourages them to a) have fun and date around while they're still single - exactly like men being told to go out and "sow their wild oats; b) to use more discernment when deciding to get married; and c) look for a man who respects you and treats you like an equal.

That is nothing more than standard dating advice that we all hear and is not sexist whatsoever. I don't understand why you're so riled up about women being told not to marry bad boys and committment-phobic boys. The fact that they make terrible life partners has been common knowledge for centuries, and it's wild that you seem to be saying that those bad boys and committment-phobes somehow deserve to marry a woman anyway. They don't.

FakeNewsFredo · 2023-06-02T23:31:18+00:00

Cher and Alexander Edwards. He's 40 years younger.

https://people.com/music/alexander-edwards-facts/

I don't know if these sort of relationships work out in the long term or not. But, I do like that they break the iron-clad 'rules' that some people try to place on whom others can partner with. Now, it's probably a little different when it comes to celebrities. But, still.

Is Bryan Ferry worse than Cher just because he's a man?

http://adventurel0veblog.blogspot.com/2009/07/amanda-sheppard-on-holiday-in-tuscany.html

Summeronmymountain · 2023-06-03T02:41:07+00:00

Others should have said this by now but: men and women are different and it's not misandry/misogyny.

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Esterwinde · 2023-06-03T11:26:13+00:00

I just swiped left on a physical 1/10 looking girl who have a non negotiable being “fk me better than my 7.87” dildo (I hate mediocre sex)”, I’ve never been more baffled that a woman would think it’s okay to put this, but I think men will still entertain people like her because of how desperate the situation has become for them.

Now imagine some crusty dude demanding you to perform better than his latest flesh light gadgetry or some advanced anime pillow/sexdoll idk. (Tbh you don’t have to imagine I’ve catfished fat dude wearing his underwear as a pic talking down on me as ‘banter’, but never in his bio did he mentioned about asking you to do better than his sex toy). He would be infamous in every dating sub.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2023-06-03T16:21:12+00:00

I think the issue with Leo isn't that he dated younger once or twice, it is that it is a very consistent pattern of sub-25 year olds whilst almost being 50. People would care less if it was a one-off but eyes are on him now there's a clear pattern which may allude to his values and motives.

YveisGrey · 2023-06-03T14:48:25+00:00

No one would care if Leo started dating a woman 10-15 years younger than he is now. He’s in his 50s he could date a 32 year old tomorrow and no one would blink. Wilde wasn’t that much older than Styles and Styles was in his late 20s not his late TEENS when she was dating him

cetus_lettuce · 2023-06-03T04:21:52+00:00

hardly anyone gave a lick of attention towards the age difference with Hiba Abouk and Achraf Hakim or with Olivia Wild and Harry styles.

Because male sexuality is predatory and female sexuality is not

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-06-03T06:09:56+00:00

If this isn't "sow your oats" then I don't know what is.

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Such_Ad_743 · 2023-06-03T10:44:56+00:00

The french president is a story of 💕 a 15year old getting with his 30year old student

thetruthishere_ · 2023-06-03T11:08:01+00:00

My friends and family would think Im a weirdo at 50 dating a 19 year old...

iassureyouimreal · 2023-06-03T14:26:36+00:00

Well yeah. This is normal

barkwoofgrowl · 2023-06-03T17:46:06+00:00

A) Age gap relationships

The media opened heavy fire on Leonardo Dicaprio's most recent girlfriend being a 19 year old girl. While I don't find this appropriate, I could not help but notice that hardly anyone gave a lick of attention towards the age difference with Hiba Abouk and Achraf Hakim or with Olivia Wild and Harry styles, more examples. The age differences in their relationships in less than that of Decaprio's but it stands as a fact that the general media is only concered with age gaps when the male is older: Joan Collin's husband is a whopping 32 years younger, Has the media talked about that?

In fact, women who date much younger men are celebrated for "not letting their age discourage them".

Yeah, I agree that it should get called out, but I disagree with your example of Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde. I don't think a relationship between a 28 and 38 year old is an issue. A 48 and 19 year old dating, I do think that's problematic (regardless of gender). Leonardo also faces more backlash because he's a repeat offender of dating really young people. I also do wanna add that I see a lot of guys defend him. A better example of the double standard would be Macron and his wife; it's frustrating how little backlash she got.

Monkebizniss · 2023-06-03T19:05:15+00:00

All of these are true. It’s also true that there are a lot of advantages men have. We can fuck around as much as we want and nobody — or hardly anybody — would call us a “whore.” Women get called that all the time, even when having a smaller body count than the men calling them that. Women are expected, outwardly or not, to do more of the housework, and take more care of the baby even when they work just as many hours, and often make more money, than their husband. And notice that in media, women get all these pandered characters — “strong women” — but almost none of these pandered characters are actually strong, fleshed-out characters, good role-models that the viewer can look up to when the gender aspect is removed, probably because these films are mostly written by men who don’t understand women and are just trying to hit that demographic.

So yeah. There’s a lot of advantages on both sides. I personally hate when people say it’s only women who face hardships due to gender; I avoid those people. But I also avoid the people who always only focus on men’s struggle, too. Everyone (men and women) is very focused on their own hardships. I think it’s necessary for people to look across the fence.

Delicious_Pirate8810 · 2023-06-04T07:16:31+00:00

OP, you say the media doesn’t give a lick about older women dating younger men, but then you link a media article talking about older women dating younger men? I also opened google and found a whole lot on older women dating young ones… so I don’t know about the media part of your argument but i do agree that older women tend to be celebrated when they date younger men. I notice they’re called cougars in a “sexy/celebratory way but the men are called perverts and predators.

Edit: Also, it seems to me there are more older men who go for women way younger than them (i guess for reproduction purposes) than older women going after younger men. So maybe that’s why you see a disparity? It happens more often with the men, so it may receive more media attention... In all honesty, i think people do not really pay much attention to age gaps when the younger partner is older than 20 .. and Leonardo, one of the examples you used, seems to have a habit of leaving his youngings after they hit 25.. so i think HE will definitely generate much more media attention with his patterns than some older woman dating a younger guy

Novel-Tip-7570 · 2023-06-04T10:02:22+00:00

A) Leonardo is criticized because he continually dates women in their teens (18-19) and then breaks up with them when they they reach a certain age. This is very different than the other examples you mentioned. Olivia Wilde met with Harry Styles when he was in his 20s and already had a career. Dating someone in their 20s is viewed differently than dating someone fresh out of high-school. I personally think that Leo is like a sugar daddy to these women and that both parties are self-aware of the nature of the relationship, so I don't think what he's doing is bad. However, you're comparing two different things.

Title	CMV: Many acts that would get a man labled as "Toxic" are tolerated when women do it.
Author	Blue_sky198
Upvotes	194
Comments	275
Date	June 2, 2023 9:55 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13yqpz9/cmv_many_acts_that_would_get_a_man_labled_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-many-acts-that-would-get-a-man-labled-as-toxic.1221105 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221105

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