Men settle- women do not

EasternToe3824 · 2022-07-26T04:24:02+00:00

Maybe a mismatch in n count hints at differing values and the fact that both have lived very different lifes so far indicating differing personality types/traits.

So there may be a good reason if the introverted monogamist homebody does not want to play workhorse for the extroverted party goer who enjoys casual sex.

The guys on here are not representative of the male gender.

Fat_Papaya · 2022-07-26T01:43:19+00:00

If you love your partner than you're not settling haha

UMDAdminMakesMeSad · 2022-07-26T01:04:17+00:00

I promise you, the aversion to women with high body counts is largely pre-rational, there isn’t much of a thought process, it is an instinctual disgust; and, all justifications and reasoning after the fact, even if they have merit, are post-hoc ( meaning they felt the disgust first, and justified it after ).

So while it can be insecurity, in actuality, that’s very rarely the primary reason for why guys are off put by a women whose been around the block, they just find it gross.

This sort of post-hoc rationalizations happens with pretty much all justifications for emotions in humans, not just with regard to this n-count thing.

This is all to say, you thinking it’s hypocritical, unfair, and that girls whose values changed should still have a shot or whatever the fuck - is entirely irrelevant.

Men are still going to feel like a bunch of guys ran through you and they are left with what was community pussy, and arguing this is a bit pointless; because, it’ll never change, and even with extreme social conditioning there is little variance in this preference.

Whether she’s settling, or if she’s choosing has no bearing on whether or not a man is going to be averse to the high n-count. He is not going to care that you’ve changed, or that you want something stable now, because he is going to be haunted by the fact that half a football fields worth of dick has been inside you - it is what it is.

Honestly - lately, I’ve been feeling all this analysis of dating and what not outside of learning what is necessary to get what you want in life, is just a big fucking waste of time.

This goes for both men who are always bitching about women controlling the dating market in their early 20s, and women getting ass mad a man is not tryna wife up someone who spread her legs for the United Nations.

We just go around in circles on this sub

Edit:

Fixed a typo and some structural shit with the paragraphs that was annoying me

impregnatingimp · 2022-07-26T02:49:47+00:00

"Never said that women were perfect- just that we dont commit the most horrible acts like men do. The worst women do is use guys for a free meal whereas guys kill, assault, rape, and kidnap women."

Y'all should've stopped taking this post seriously after this comment 😂

Superannuatedpunk · 2022-07-26T11:15:07+00:00

Because mostly every guy on here saying they are most attracted to 20 year old's.

I'm mid 40s. 20 year olds are nice to look at, but the thought of dating one fills me with existential dread.

Beyond bone-headed porny fantasies, I have zero interest in 20 year old women as partners. Any dude my age who's being even vaguely real with himself probably feels the same way, unless he's deep in the throes of a raging-hot midlife crisis.

If I was single again...does that 20 year old have a hot mom around my age? And is she single?

AreOut · 2022-07-26T03:10:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SpicyNippss · 2022-07-26T05:32:37+00:00

"So I think jealousy /insecurity is the route cause of n count obsessions."

This is always such a hard cope that women use. While it may be true in some instances, men just don't respect a woman with a high body count. It's like a rich person having a "small loan of a million" dollars being successful. It's like they didn't earn it. The same is true for women regarding sex. You literally have to do nothing. What is respectable about that? And if you leverage it to the point where it's almost pathological, yeah, it's not attractive. If a man sleeps with a lot of women, especially if he's not very attractive, he had something exceptional about him. Something commendable. Maybe good charisma, or humor, or he worked really hard in the gym. All respectable things.

SilentFroggy · 2022-07-26T00:41:25+00:00

Are all your arguments just blaming men? It seems like all your post, it’s always about how men are the problem and not women. I do agree with you about men also having high standards and settling… but women are just equally as bad. In my opinion, worst.

Bandit174 · 2022-07-26T01:09:39+00:00

whereas women dont- as they are most attracted to someone their own age with stable qualities once they get to 27ish.

Kinda sounds womanese for AFBB

HazyMemory7 · 2022-07-26T00:55:18+00:00

They absolutely settle. Women in their 30s seldom realize how their age affects their options. All of a sudden they blink and they're 35 years old with dating prospects that don't match up to who they wanted to date 7-8 years prior.

sarkington · 2022-07-26T02:06:04+00:00

Where’s my Prince Charming now?

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-07-26T03:59:03+00:00

Men on here are always complaining about being "settled for" once a women has had fun in her 20s. This is not true- as women age their values change and they generally want kids so obviously they will "choose" a stable partner.

You are basically contradicting yourself and admitting women AF/BB.

hari_hbp · 2022-07-26T07:26:39+00:00

If the man a woman marries is less physically attractive than her exes/hookups/FWBs, some men believe that she's settling. I don't see any problems, not all men are that physically attractive and it's okay. It's upto the man to decide whether to stay with her or not, if his needs are satisfied, if he's happy. If yes, then who cares if she settles, that's her problem.

Men who are not conventionally attractive know this is just how it is and prioritise their happiness and move on. No complaints, no blaming, just accepting and leading a happy life.

This is not an issue for women because men usually go for the hottest (both physically and personality-wise) they can get.

In this way, women settle (i hope we get to a world where women don't have to in any sense) and men dont (as it should be).

izzzy12k · 2022-07-26T08:10:40+00:00

In my opinion, the example is skewed some.. cause Men also change with time (most anyways) and will want someone who is also stable and not too young to the point where her irresponsibility due to that young age is a problem..

As for settling, it all depends on luck.. just as it does with women. If we are talking, finding sexual partners, then yes.. Women have the advantage..

Anything else, it's pretty much the same. Society has made it this way, as trust and loyalty are not a common as they once were.

Regarding infidelity, it's all the same these days.. both sides of the fence have those that will do it, and those that will not..

All you can do it cross your fingers and hope you find one that doesn't... Regardless of gender.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-07-26T01:03:32+00:00

the majority of guys in relationships will “settle”

Only a minority of men settle. Men with options. The while the rest presumably, aim to attract the best partner they can.

Godspeed and good luck!

pinktuliplover · 2022-07-26T02:29:50+00:00

The majority of people settle in some way. There’s like a 1% chance that your exact Prince Charming/Cinderella exists. And if they do exist they’re probably already taken. Most of us are going to have to settle in one category or another if we want something long term.

orgothrelentless · 2022-07-26T00:55:35+00:00

Thank god men are waking up. Do you wanna be the beta settled for? Do you wanna get ignored until she finally picks you after being she had her fun? Just play the long game and when these women want relationships...don't.

GhostRidersInTheSky7 · 2022-07-26T01:29:01+00:00

Men are viscerally attracted to the women they end up with. Women aren’t viscerally attracted to the men they end up with. That means women settle and men don’t.

4theMare_ · 2022-07-26T00:32:17+00:00

Generally speaking, women value the security of a long-term relationship more than men, and will often "choose" a partner who can provide that, perhaps at the expense of overall attractiveness. Men, being generally less risk-averse than women, are more willing to trade attractiveness for long-term security.

Both men and women would ideally prefer to have it both ways - the benefits of monogamy plus the freedom to date, but both make tradeoffs to accommodate social norms. Women are just usually willing to make a larger tradeoff.

Early_Style2908 · 2022-07-26T03:03:07+00:00

So why is it men "settle"?

Because most women are too much work.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-07-26T03:28:18+00:00

Men find women around 20 to be the most visually attractive. That doesn't necessarily mean those women are what men of all ages most desire as a sexual partner, much less a relationship one.

Women are not neotenous, but probably find men in the 25-30 range most aesthetically appealing. When it comes to what they find most sexually appealing, it does get a bit complex as women tend to use their own age more than men do to calibrate what they find sexually appealing, but how much of that is socialization (based partly on other instincts) is complex and hard to parse.

Barely-moral · 2022-07-26T01:13:06+00:00

If you have no options and never had any options then you are not settling, you are taking what you can get even if it's not perfect.

That is the position most men find themselves in. They don't settle because they don't have options.

Most women have more options while young because that is what youth does, and then once they get old and lose most of the options they have they settle for what they can get. They could have got better if they decided to focus on permanent LTRs earlier in life. They didn't.

But let's say for the sake of argument that you are right (you are not) and men are the ones that settle while women are not settling at all.

The problem with settling is not the settling part. The problem is that women give their best to previous partners. Men don't do the same.

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SkeletonMagi · 2022-07-26T10:49:09+00:00

Women arguing sex after marriage like to say “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”

Men refusing to wife a high n count 30+yo female can say “Why do I have to buy the spoiled milk when you gave it away for free the last ten years while it was still fresh?”

AelfredRex · 2022-07-26T11:38:11+00:00

"Settle" is just a term adolescent-minded men use to complain about not being able to date that Instagram model they've been fapping to (who lives a thousand miles away and has never met them) so they have to "settle" for that cute woman at work who's actually in to them but is doing nothing to stroke their fragile immature egos.

Ego fragility is the core of the Manosphere, so it has to be factored into everything.

abaxeron · 2022-07-26T12:40:40+00:00

Therefore the majority of guys in relationships will "settle" whereas women dont- as they are most attracted to someone their own age with stable qualities once they get to 27ish.

Exactly; "someone". Not necessarily (and quite often not exactly) the man she is with. It may be (but not really) because the "someone" is taken. But most likely, it's because the "someone" will not even look in her direction beyond that one hookup on her 19th birthday party.

It is very hypocritical of guys to judge women based on there past when we all know that guys would definitely sleep around if they had the chance

Men don't judge women for the past. Any woman is free to be a slut as massive as she wants. Men judge women for demanding to be treated like virgins when they very clearly aren't.

LSX81 · 2022-07-26T00:28:23+00:00

I'm happy this information has become pretty widespread and more men are believing it.

goatismycopilot · 2022-07-26T01:55:59+00:00

I don't think men settle. Men tend to marry whoever is standing there when they are ready to get married. So they don't necessarily marry the " love of their life" because that person could have been some chick in high school or college who they dated for three days. If all their buddies are getting married they might get married. If they are at an impasse in life they might settle because they don't know what else to do. Getting married or an LTR is rarely a life goal like it is for many women it is more like a new hobby they try out.

Women will settle if their primary goal is having kids. They don't necessarily waste time on Chads they often waste time on ordinary guys who aren't " ready" for the next step or need more time to " think " about things which actually yah I will be with you for now or until something else comes along.

It is a combination of timing and other external factors.

Det_Steve_Sloan · 2022-07-26T10:56:03+00:00

9 out of 10 hot girls I see in relationships have settled for a pot-bellied gargoyle.

It still shocks me every time I see the 'boyfriend'.

Swapsta · 2022-07-26T06:37:06+00:00

Both do

OfSpock · 2022-07-26T08:53:55+00:00

If men want to marry 20 yos, they should start dating earlier so they have been dating their 20yo girlfriend for two years when they're 22 and it's appropriate to proprose.

yamb97 · 2022-07-26T13:00:40+00:00

Jealousy and insecurity is definitely the root of the n count obsession but tbh I don’t care, I don’t wanna sleep w a loser virgin anyways. If I’m super lonely I got good fwbs, otherwise me and also high n count bf are happy. The guys on this sub may be settling but there’s plenty of normal well adjusted men out there doing just fine if not great.

ruboyuri · 2022-07-26T13:29:19+00:00

Men are also going around having fun so I don’t see the same problem

Title	Men settle- women do not
Author	glowup6168
Upvotes	28
Comments	275
Date	July 26, 2022 12:14 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/w84pw2/men_settle_women_do_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-settle-women-do-not.1124823 https://theredarchive.com/post/1124823

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