While I think there are many reasons why dating are harder nowadays (such as Dating app and how people have wayyy more choices than before, or social media, etc.), I think one of the biggest change over the past decade is that young men and women increasingly hold different views on topics that directly affect dating and LTR.

I think this divergence affects more than political preferences too, they are beliefs about gender roles, marriage, careers, finances, children, emotional labour, etc.

For example, I think one may want a traditional gender role relationship while the other expects a fully egalitarian relationship.

One may prioritize career over family, while another want children relatively early. Some see marriage as an important life goal, while others see it as optional or undesirable.

While I think none of these positions are inherently right or wrong, I think they still make people fundamentally incompatible.

I think this is also not just on an individual level, as in several countries, surveys suggest that young women are becoming more progressive, while young men are becoming relatively more conservative. What causes this remain debatable, but I think the end result is that young men and women may increasingly disagree on issues that directly affect long-term relationship.

I do no want to and I am not arguing here that either men or women are the problem. I do no want to discuss whether or not conservatism or feminism is the problem, as I think this is a much deeper debate.

My point is simply that if the average beliefs of men and women are drifting apart, then the pool of people who are genuinely compatible shrinks.

To me, this seems like a structural explanation for why dating can feel harder nowadays, you may meet plenty of attractive, kind people, but still discover that your values don't align in ways that matter for building a life together 😿