Why do men hate open relationships?

KikiYuyu · 2023-04-02T00:08:22+00:00

People dislike open relationships in general. I'm a woman and it just grosses me out on a basic level. To each their own of course, but it is not for me.

skyrimpill · 2023-04-02T01:54:15+00:00

It never began for betabuxx cucks. Just raise another man's seed theory.

Bikerbats · 2023-04-02T00:26:57+00:00

Because polyamory is a crock. We're a jealous species and there is no denying it. I've spent my life in a subculture on the fringes where people try everything because rules are bad m'kay? Even there, I've never once seen a polyamorous relationship endure. I've seen a dozen attempted and 100% went down in flames, because, you guessed it, jealousy is a natural human emotion.

Reptheft · 2023-04-02T00:33:53+00:00

Men claim that it’s very difficult for them to get sex and that the competition is fierce on dating apps. Assuming that both those things are true, why don’t men just comprise their standards and/or participate in open relationships?

You just said it yourself. Because dating can be difficult for men, a guy in an open relationship might find himself in a position where he's not sleeping with any other women, but his girlfriend is banging new Chads every week.

There isn't necessarily any benefit for him here, compared to a monogamous relationship.

Lots of men engage in toxic masculinity and shame each other for financially supporting a woman who sleeps with other guys, but at least those men are having sex.

So are guys paying prostitutes. Only they're better off than a "nesting partner" since they don't have to associate with you past the sex.

So long as it’s between two consenting adults and the men in these submissive roles gain more experience and confidence to help them with their future dating lives why is that wrong?

His time is better spent trying to find decent women who won't exploit his desperation for companionship.

Ylduts · 2023-04-02T02:48:46+00:00

The data. Open relationships have an 8 percent success rate.😂😂😂 Anyone looking for a long term relationship would be a fool to go down that road.

resultsmatter1 · 2023-04-02T05:44:23+00:00

What in the troll thread is this

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-04-02T11:45:26+00:00

Open relationships aren’t for most people tbh. But I do think it’s funny that usually it’s the man who wants to open the relationship so he can sleep with other women, and also the one who wants to close it again because he doesn’t like his wife sleeping with other people, and maybe he isn’t even able to get as many women as he thought. 🤡

AndyBrown65 · 2023-04-02T02:27:16+00:00

Open relationships are disrespectful and the only people who like them are narcissistic a-holes

ohdiddly · 2023-04-02T02:23:04+00:00

I say the same thing about women. Why do women complain about how their boyfriends want sex so much more than them but they’re vehemently against their boyfriends getting that sexual attention elsewhere? They straight up just expect their partners to be in a sexless marriage with zero compromise

xTakki27 · 2023-04-02T09:09:24+00:00

Usually, men have worked their asses off to get into a relationship and women usually abuse their position, because she knows, that she could have sex with so many people in an open relationship, while men usually just have to watch, because they're more unlikely to find any hookups...

So, if I ever had a gf proposing me that idea, I'd give her a choice:

Get that idiotic thought out of your head, or we can call it quits and break up

Last-Bike2269 · 2023-04-02T00:19:16+00:00

To ensure his children are 1) his and 2) safe

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinderella_effect

SolidusMonkey · 2023-04-02T18:23:36+00:00

OP is REALLY obviously some blackpilled inc*ll. Brand new account, uses all sorts of BP terminology, no attempt to actually engage or discuss, user name has "open" in the name indicating that they made this account just to post this shit, etc.

Chemical_Major_1403 · 2023-04-02T00:48:21+00:00

Women : do not settle down and compromise as a women

Also women : men should lower their standards

_ like I genuinely think women hate men way more

muramosa · 2023-04-02T01:34:27+00:00

So even if this did make any sense whatsoever, which it doesn't, you fail to realize the first and arguably most important problem that is always present for men in dating. Which is:

We hardly have options to begin with so how can we just magically find a woman to be with in an open relationship? This is how I know a woman made this post, because it just comes off as "just find a woman bro. Just lower your standards", as if we have option to do so anyways. None of that matters if the barrier of opportunity to talk to and get to know women is still there in the first place. Everything you said only comes after we can even get that chance. So first address a solution for the 1st problem, and then we can tackle this insane suggestion.

Leather-Creme2611 · 2023-04-02T05:29:15+00:00

With polyamory and non-monogamy becoming more common why are so many men so vocal about shaming it?

Poly is just a more polite socially backed way of saying

"you're not good enough, but you're useful/ might become useful so I want to keep you around pretending to be in a relationship with me while I slut it up like a single college kid."

So basically men who are equally sluts, bored guys with gfs they're mutually ambivalent towards, or desperate dudes with no other options who also lack self-respect are it's prime participants.

With that shitshow relationship dynamic being touted as a positive (by those who'd "benefit" from it at their "partners" expense),

along with disingenuous questioning of those who wish not to partake,

often mischaracterizing their honesty in their distaste for that situation for themselves as "shaming", in a feeble attemt to change their views..

It's no wonder really, or shouldn't be, that as that dynamic becomes "more common" more men are "so vocal about shaming it."

imagine if men did height reductions (or something else women found gross), like it was the latest fad. More and more women pressured into supporting their BFs height reduction because it provided some benefit solely to the men, and tell me more women wouldn't become vocal "shaming" (read: expressing personal distaste towards) that practice fr

Here2RunItDown · 2023-04-02T00:18:38+00:00

Because its a rename of FWB's, with further commitment, attachment and ENGTANGLEMENT involved, whether its by being in a relationship where finances are shared or living together or even having a family

All while enjoying the fruits of FWB's, FWB's existed for a reason, stop 'modernizing' everything!

WITH RULES

GOD. DAMN. RULES!!!

At least FWB's doesn't have rules!!! Rule defeats the very nature of sexual liberation.

Anyways, its just like the trend of pronouns, an unnecessary method of further expanding an already over bloated language

Instead of hypersonic communication skills or technology of a different frequency allowing everyone to communicate with a single language, maybe even communicate telepathically

We get pronouns

Getting a tad bit serious, everyone knows its easier for women to get men, ON AVERAGE or in general. Don't believe me? Why is it a woman that allows a man to have sex or why is it men pursue sex or why isnt men allowing women to have sex with them? Even though sex is a mutually beneficial act.

But thats not the case, the world views sex as something women grant the man and the man pursues, even though its a mutually beneficial act.

The hottest of hot guys will have the same pull or success with women as an average women, in fact the average women could go out and ask for a hookup in public and the worst thing that would happen to her, is telling everyone shes joking.

Timothy Chalamet could attempt to do the same thing and he might have to contest the decision of getting fined and public indecency.

Ultimately, Open relationship are as i mentioned, rename of FWB's, but they have unnecessarily warped relationships to add another arm of the sexuality family. And for the most part, its a way to settle with a beta provider financially, who will almost always be at home not getting with other woman and the woman gets to experience sexual liberation, while being in a relationship.

Also don't forget rules. Rules are actually misandrist, when you think about it.

DisasterPeace7 · 2023-04-02T00:21:29+00:00

Unless you're a guy who is great looking and or a shit ton of options, open relationships are more than likely gonna be an L for you, imagine the woman that you've made your wife getting burned out by damn near any guy she pleases and you're still having to take care of that while still having the love of a single man dating lol, unless she has a couple people that would make her very jealous of you being able to fuck, good luck lol

fuchsiaeuRIor4683 · 2023-04-02T00:42:34+00:00

Female logic 101

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-04-02T00:22:42+00:00

If Stacy has so much choice and leverage why do men hate her for datingChad, when they would go out with the hottest available option if therole was reversed?

Fair enough. One argument might be that men are attracted to a wider range of women so yes, while easily seduced by beauty (just like women), they wouldn't categorically eliminate the more average kind of woman, if the roles were reversed. Also, I wouldn't say that men hate Stacy for dating whomever, but men get tired of Stacy then saying "all men are like the men I date" and then she goes on to describe stuff the average guy couldn't do if he wanted.

If men are willing to comprise their standards and “date down” why shouldthey care if the women their seeing is sleeping with other men if theyclearly don’t love her?

Generally, the "dating down" is a move that the desperate employ to escape inceldom, not to start relationships. Keep in mind that men are attracted to a wider array of women, so "dating down" for them is probably going to be a slippery slope down the steeper side of the bell curve.

The obvious answer to your headline question; open relationships are worse for men because it takes them a lot more work to find partners - particularly if they are up front about being in an open relationship. That probably would be little to no hindrance to finding partners for women. Deck is kinda stacked there.

FillThisEmptyCup · 2023-04-02T03:05:52+00:00

If a girl wants to be a community dumpster, go ahead, I’ll throw my load in there but don’t expect me to drag you in my home.

TrueNeutrall0011 · 2023-04-02T09:35:10+00:00

So long as it’s between two consenting adults and the men in these submissive roles gain more experience and confidence to help them with their future dating lives why is that wrong?

It's heavy handed and exploitative. You're taking a group of people who has a very human need for connection and intimacy with the opposite gender and you have someone one party who has an absolute glut of wealth saying "you can accept the submissive role here and get some experience "

It's like working for exposure. It's disgusting. This is people's feelings, capacity to love and connect and form a sacred bond with another person and some entitled adult child is saying "uhh yeah, like, I got more dick than I know what to do with but I can squeeze you in if you just accept this submissive role, because what other choice do you have?"

I'm not saying it shouldn't be an option, because some guys will go for that just like sex work but for the majority that's a hell no.

atmhere11 · 2023-04-02T15:41:48+00:00

Men hate it because usually the woman ends up with more options in these open scenarios lol

HazyMemory7 · 2023-04-01T23:56:04+00:00

You arent entitled to an explanation as to why men don't want their wife or girlfriend having sex with men, nor is it your place to suggest they should be accepting of it.

Joelypoely88 · 2023-04-02T00:01:32+00:00

If men are willing to comprise their standards and “date down” why should they care if the women their seeing is sleeping with other men if they clearly don’t love her?

Generally men are against it precisely because they do love her? And they want their connection to feel somewhat unique/special.

13choppedup2chopped · 2023-04-02T01:02:44+00:00

There’s a show called seeking brother husband on TLC. All the men look sad and depressed.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-04-02T03:02:48+00:00

I think there may be ways to sustainably add sexual novelty for couples with high sociosexuality levels.

But I think it is important that you don't let a large difference in sexual attractiveness or leverage manifest in an unconstrained manner. That's the issue with the kind of relationship the OP is positing. Essentially, the woman here will be sleeping with a lot more new partners than the man.

Another problem is that the core relationship in her scenario never involved sufficient mutual attraction. That doesn't work IMO. I think sustainable 'enhanced monogamy' generally needs to feature core pairings that were quite attracted to one another, and in many ways still are. But the issue is just a lack of variety.

captaindestucto · 2023-04-02T03:03:42+00:00

The average woman has greater access to casual sex than the average man, so there's a lopsided dynamic where the woman reaps the "benefits" while the guy looks on.

But most people don't want open relationships to start with.

qunamax · 2023-04-02T23:34:43+00:00

If a guy likes the idea of sharing a girl, why not just call the other guy and make a threesome?

Treacle-Flimsy · 2023-04-02T05:25:22+00:00

Most men aren't cucks.

VehementlyDrawn · 2023-04-02T00:01:39+00:00

Why would I do an open relationship when I can just fuck a new girl every weekend without the same girl staying in my house bitching at me about dirty dishes?

This is the point. Any dude who can pull an equivalent level of pussy as a woman can get dick DOES NOT NEED THAT WOMAN.

TurtleDickSlap · 2023-04-02T00:40:57+00:00

Open relationships don't solve the problem.

It just gives women license to openly and freely fuck multiple chads while keeping a man as a backup plan.

You're imagining a world where women with unlimited sexual agency will start choosing average men. As we see, that doesn't happen.

Reasonable_Listen514 · 2023-04-02T02:41:24+00:00

Why are some people fine with them? The thought of another man sleeping with my gf sickens and angers me, and I believe most normal people feel that way.

East-Rip-181 · 2023-04-02T03:10:39+00:00

Men say "I care about looks" and are pretty open about standards.

Women say "yeah looks aren't that important" then date as if looks are very important, and call men shallow for being honest. If women were truthful I actually would not care

FatmanSlim93 · 2023-04-02T03:25:42+00:00

I mean most people in open relationships are gonna end up breaking up anyway so there’s no real reason to open it up. Most dudes I know who “agreed” basically stayed to fuck while looking for a long term gf and then jumped ship once that was secure.

Swordfromthecement · 2023-04-02T03:57:32+00:00

Why would I be in a relationship if we’re just sleeping with other people? Why can’t we just fuck other people and be friends or associates who have sex instead? To me the exclusivity is the foundation of the relationship.

I don’t want to be in a relationship where I or my partner are sleeping with other people.

Yoyo4games · 2023-04-02T03:59:06+00:00

Wait, so men should potentially lower their standards for commitment, monogamy. I can give you that, sure, that could get more men laid.

So shouldn't women who can't stay hitched lower their standards for provisions and independence?? I mean that would also, likely, see more women satisfied with a standard they've lowered themselves to accept. Specifically from the man who is their partner also, since this is an inherent benefit for men AND women who choose to be single and sleep with whomever, a benefit either of their casual partners would be reaping too.

I dunno, this sounds like it's expecting too much of mundane, ordinary people. Overhauls that mutate norms and expectations are usually met with unilateral resistance, and that's not always just people choosing to fear change or be ignorant.

I don't think this would be a concept I or anyone I've known, for a long time, would be interested in. Not that that's defeating the idea, just saying I doubt this would really help the majority of people.

Be kinda interesting to see if...uhh...in couples/marriage counseling anything came out of the husband. Could see that as a cascade sort of scenario, once he started he may very well be incapable of stopping.

bottleblank · 2023-04-02T04:36:29+00:00

You know how women say they want to be wanted for them, and not just because they're convenient sex toys?

Yeah. That. I want connection, I want loyalty, I want someone to like me for me, not because I happen to have a dick, like the 5 other men she's seeing right now.

Why would I think she cares anything about me if I'm not enough?

Edit: Also I'd like to be able to trust that she's not out collecting STDs and bringing them back home to give to me.

despisedlove2 · 2023-04-02T05:22:35+00:00

Goes back to the most basic of male sex drives - to reproduce. If he is pathetic or stupid enough to be in an open "relationship", he is acting as a host in a parasitic relationship where his resources are being used to potentially raise another man's child.

Eatgaumata · 2023-04-02T08:23:09+00:00

Your poor husband. Most men are scared of being alone so they put up with crazy shit like this. More men need to learn how to be happy alone.

SkatemanJohn · 2023-04-02T09:01:41+00:00

Lots of men engage in toxic masculinity and shame each other for financially supporting a woman who sleeps with other guys, but at least those men are having sex.

Yeah, and if they're fucking dudes at least they're having sex. If they're just masturbating at least they bust a nut. If they're orbiting then at least they get physical and emotional contact. I have a woman of my own and children who look like me and no amount of pity sex with the communal pussy I over contribute to can compare.

toxic masculinity

That's just your word for the fact that good men have to be meaner than the enemy to survive. It's not actually toxic given that it protects the family, community, local economy, entire nation. These parasitic worms who sell you on the idea of the anti-family are toxic.

ExtremeWomanRespect · 2023-04-02T10:28:00+00:00

Open relationships are just women opening themselves to alternate Chads, they aren’t interested in the rest of us.

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2023-04-02T16:00:41+00:00

1: Most men are simply hardwired to be repulsed by promiscuous woman. No talk about double standards and appeals to logic will ever defeat hundreds of thousands of years of biological evolution. The idea of sexually “sharing” a woman a man actually has an emotional connection with (I.E somebody who might one day be the mother of his children) is disgusting to most men.

2: Most men are only in monogamous relationships in the first place because they don’t actually have the options to sleep around. The reality is that if most men had the sexual options of most women they would almost never commit to one person. If a man is in a “open relationship” with a women it invariably means she is getting a new hookup every day while he is desperately praying for a match. On the rare occasion a man actually initiates an “open relationship” it pretty much just means he’s put her into the sex zone and there isn’t any “relationship” beyond him using her for his sexual gratification.

Rainbowcashpa · 2023-04-02T18:11:59+00:00

Because its Kind of disgusting?

Worldly_Piano9526 · 2023-04-03T02:14:01+00:00

Men aren't above sharing women if we have to, we just call it "prostitution" instead of "poly".

That__EST · 2023-04-02T10:25:29+00:00

Men "hate" open relationships because they like to cheat, but they don't want YOU to cheat and they don't want to come across as hypocrites. I also suspect that the sneakiness that comes from cheating and affairs makes the sex that much more exciting to them. Men may bang on about how they would Never Cheat and how much They Hate Cheating. But rest assured that the moment that they get an actual real opportunity, they will very likely take it. And that if this opportunity turns into a sustained opportunity to engage in extra relationship sex, then they will be the ones wishing they were in an open relationship so they wouldn't have to sneak it into their schedule.

Men who "hate cheating" and "hate cheaters" are just men who are confident in their inability to attract multiple women and it's a huge turn off to me. If you'd be unable to find a woman who could actually be a temptation to give you an opportunity to cheat....what makes you think I want the consolation prize of your untested fidelity?

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NotARussianBot1984 · 2023-04-02T00:50:52+00:00

I'm in a open/poly relationship right now. She's married with 2 kids, great woman.

I've done a bit of poly dating when we met as she introduced me to it. Honestly, take normal dating for men and double the difficulty. It's a tad easier than trying to pick up an attractive single woman at a swingers club LOL.

The issue is the girls say "Why would I date this guy when I can just go on a date with my partner?" So you have to be better than the man she already has.

But the reason I actually like the open relationship part is 1) I don't want kids and hanging out with her's is fun 2) With no kids, means I have a lot of disposable income so I can actually sugar date girls I want to date, while also spoiling my gf of course 3) Discovered I actually enjoy swinging with her, lots of fun :)

I asked my gf why aren't more men open to poly and sex work? She said 1) they tend to be providing for a family so no money 2) there's still resistance to sex work even if it's an open relationship, many women don't want to date a man that sees escorts.

Works for us, but it's hyper unique situation, hence I generally don't mention it when talking about my dating experiences, unless if the topic is open relationships like this.

Open-Result-2133 · 2023-04-02T00:15:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

96tillinfinity_ · 2023-04-02T00:17:20+00:00

This is what I do. Zero desire for serious commitment so whenever Im fucking a new girl I tell her up front beforehand I’m not looking for serious. Usually they are cool with it

Wouldn’t call it open relationship. Guess these are just normal FWBs

Safinated · 2023-04-02T02:37:05+00:00

I don’t see that

Fogofit24 · 2023-04-02T03:29:19+00:00

This sub is lovely and weird. If I were Stacy, i would do the same shit.

But I don’t hear women reasoning that if they were guys, they would most likely have the same attitudes that most men have. Cus that’s how humanity works. You get plopped into a circumstance and you adopt certain beliefs and attitudes because of your experiences. My friend just got back into dating this year after a long hiatus. He thought my opinions and advice were pretty jaded. After a year of dating with some toxic ships sprinkled in..he sounds like me.

Thats why the “masculine” lesbians and bisexuals experiences are so key because they complain about the same shit dating women.

So if you were the average men, do you think you would hate open relationships?

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-04-02T09:09:21+00:00

Never been in one, so I couldn't possibly comment.

WowYouMustBeJoking · 2023-04-02T09:26:04+00:00

Men are fine with those when they are open only on their end. If they were open for a woman, too, that would mean other men get to fuck her (unless specified that she can only sleep with other women), while this man commits to her emotionally and financially. And that's just disgusting to men in itself plus why would a man pay to maintain sexual access when another man gets that access virtually for free? Besides, it makes them clowns for their peers, no one respects cucks. Look at Will Smith, he became a laughing stock real fast.

If Stacy has so much choice and leverage why do men hate her for dating Chad, when they would go out with the hottest available option if the role was reversed?

Because men operate in reality. And in the real world women are born with their sexual value and men must build it. So if they got some hot options, that's because they worked for them.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-04-02T16:55:39+00:00

Cause it is a higher chance for the woman to leave the relationship if she finds something better. Never forget, women always shoot up and if they can level up their man, they will.

KayRay1994 · 2023-04-02T20:17:24+00:00

tbh if you want an open relationship, do your thing - it just ain’t for me.

Personally, i’m in no spot to where i’m insecure enough about my own desirability to compromise my own values - i lean heavily towards monogamous (personally i go as far thinking innocent flirting is totally okay), and if a girl can’t be at least that level of monogamous with me then it can’t work.

But by all means, if you and your partner both consented to an open relationship I really won’t shame y’all for it (then again i’m not a fan of shaming anyone for this kinda stuff), just know what you might be getting into emotionally

calfshrug · 2023-04-03T03:11:29+00:00

Because women tend to pair bond differently. Women are hypergamous. If they’re fornicating extra guys for pleasure, their deep feelings are more likely to begin to align with the other, whichever is most attractive - in terms of all of status, personality, and physical. For men, at least anecdotally as myself, my feelings for my girl never wavered when I cheated. I wouldn’t trade her for even a subservient, intelligent, kind Megan Fox.

thelofidragon · 2023-04-03T16:22:31+00:00

I don't think polyamory or non-monogamy relationships aren't really that common. its .03% of all relationships in the US. Its not a common thing most people don't even know about or understand it or know someone in one.

Title	Why do men hate open relationships?
Author	Open-Result-2133
Upvotes	0
Comments	439
Date	April 1, 2023 11:39 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1292ye3/why_do_men_hate_open_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-men-hate-open-relationships.1207158 https://theredarchive.com/post/1207158

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