why does it seem like the less energy a man puts into women, the better his life gets? such an enigma

InFa-MoUs · 2024-04-12T12:47:41+00:00

This reminds me of a time I was at a party and I saw this beautiful girl (a 9/10 in my book) and I told myself I was going to shoot my shot and sometime later in the party she was near the liquor table so I was using this as an opportunity to talk to her so I asked her to pass me a bottle she was next to but it was loud in there and I guess she heard something else and was like “sorry I have a boyfriend” really quick. In that moment legit chuckled leaned in and repeated myself and she kinda felt embarrassed but I just kept on laughing and poured myself a drink. At the same time a couple of my friends came up and dapped me up and we were catching up and I had my back turned to her. After this I shit you not this girl followed me around the whole party. No matter where I went she was less than 2 feet from me 😂 she tried to start convos a couple times but I just kept it nice and short

But I will never forget the shift in body language once she thought I wasnt actually trying to talk to her.

It’s weird man, women are weird. And the prettier the weirder lol but hey what you gonna do 🤷🏾‍♂️

biomazzi · 2024-04-12T18:12:57+00:00

Its true and honestly it sucks, at least in my opinion. I meet a girl, have great chemistry, sex and moral values are aligned, i'm quickly pretty certain she can be good partner and girlfriend and i'm not afraid to voice that and commit to it.

Girl instead of interpreting it as confidence they think of what is wrong with this guy, can he actually get a girl, should i be with him etc...all the bad things and starts backing off, forgetting everything that brought us together.

Then i meet other girls that don't attract me as much and because im not certain of them they chase me around and it never works out great because i want one where everything clicks from the start.

Dating is rough....

ChicoBrillo · 2024-04-12T12:58:30+00:00

I think there's a couple things happening here.

Not being thirsty is attractive. Women, especially attractive women, have to deal with unwanted attention constantly. That and men who will say/do anything to sleep with them. When you don't give off that vibe you may actually intrigue them (wow!)
When you are honed in on one person and think it's a matter of just "working hard enough" or "putting in the time"...it's not sexy. It doesn't work like that, and as a result you get way more frustrated (also not sexy).

Unsolicited Advice: Don't give yourself and all your energy to someone before you even get to know them, or ever honestly. Even in a relationship you need to maintain autonomy and a sense of self. Nobody is worth having tunnel vision over.

Radical_Neutral_76 · 2024-04-12T11:48:06+00:00

I have the same, but only dated seriously toxic women, so am on the bench on this one

juslokingArounD · 2024-04-12T13:28:25+00:00

You have to understand, that Attention for women, is exactly what Sex is for men. Attention is currency.

When you haven’t had sex, all of your aim and goal and life purpose is to get sex, once you have, sex becomes the last thing you think about. Now when you know you have someone, thats guaranteed to give you sex, whenever you need and desire or even whenever you don’t, you start to not give a fuck about pursuing or chasing or giving an effort to that source, because it is in your pocket for your reach.

Now the moment that source starts to pull out, you will turn to a predator just to secure it back. You will push every limit, plan every step and put every second to win it back. The higher the value the more efforts is put, by value I mean, if you’re a man, it is the beauty of a woman, if you’re a woman, it depends on what you determine as a value, could be a man’s income, physical attractiveness, social status, etc…

This is exactly what happens when you start the idgaf mindset with a woman. She had access to you whenever she desires, without any struggle. She valued you ( it is not necessary for her to value you so much, even a slight bit is enough ) and so your attention mattered.

This is why I want every man to understand that attention is your BIGGEST Weapon you have in your arsenal. You have to use it wisely. Its not that women love the chase or whatever. You also as a man love the chase for sex.

When a women starts ghosting or being indifferent you completely cut off your attention. Act exactly how she acts. If she pulls back, you know she values you, if not, completely forget her and on to the next, because you never mattered at the beginning

Sandvicheater · 2024-04-12T16:20:43+00:00

Chasing tail is like trying to grab a slippery fish with your bare hands, the harder you try and the more you squeeze the higher chance the fish will easily slip through your fingers.

Now using your analogy, instead of trying to grab fish. You just stand there doing nothing until the fish get used to your presence in the water and many just come up to your legs thinking you're some hairy tree. Then bam, you whip out that net and you gotten way more fish doing less work vs your ass chasing fish around the pond all day and getting nothing.

Mark Mason the legit GOAT of real seduction says the i don't give a fuck attitude-super confident this is who i am take or leave it mentality is like emotional crack for these chicks.

stgleason · 2024-04-12T23:24:06+00:00

That is because, "Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her."

So if you give her crap, be prepared to deal with a ton of shit.

tropicalaussie · 2024-04-13T02:03:40+00:00

The best Tinder profile I ever had was a photo of myself with a shirt off after a gym session with the caption "Swipe right to win your prize." Yeah, it was arrogant, but boy did it work, I couldn't keep up with the matches. I learnt very early that there are only two rules in the game. 1. You are the most important person in the relationship. 2. Who cares about what they think. All the rest is bullshit.

Link_GR · 2024-04-12T12:53:29+00:00

Because neediness is a huge turnoff. How hard is that to grasp? People (not just women) don't like feeling like you want something from them and you need them, especially when they barely know you. Live your life, be clear with your intentions and when you get rejected say "That's cool. Have a good one" and move on.

Available_Bass9725 · 2024-04-12T12:53:39+00:00

Attractive men who don't care>attractive men who care>unattractive men who care>unattractive men who don't care

Here is the chart.

safestuff987 · 2024-04-12T15:36:54+00:00

This is not just you. When I was young and clueless about women, I noticed that I tended to get lucky more often when I gave less fucks about getting with women. Learning that was the easy part, learning how to channel that energy consistently was the hard part.

Three things going on here:

Women find neediness unattractive (and most men do too). There is a correlation (and arguably causation) with the amount of energy you put into women vs. how needy you are/come off as.
When you focus less energy on women, you put your energy more towards things that enrich your life instead. This could mean getting into better shape, setting yourself up for success in your career, improving your social life, and most importantly finding more purpose and fulfillment with yourself. By doing this you are not depending on a woman to fill the void for you because you fill the void yourself. Your priority changes from "get with any woman" to "get with women who don't detract from my goal".
This might be pure speculation on my part, but women are used to fending off the advances of thirsty guys. When they see a guy who they sense isn't thirsting over them, it flicks a lightswitch. They all of a sudden get curious about why this guy isn't just thirsting over them like they're used to, and they want to dig deeper.

GoldenWolf1111 · 2024-04-13T05:35:25+00:00

if feels like the position gets flipped. Becoming the person of abudance (b/c they are not the prio, means they think you have options, that you are not too worried/desperate on losing them). I think movies, media and society condition to believe the "successful" ppl always are laid back, that things gravitate towards them and so when you don't try and things seem easy or laid back when they look at you, they assume you are a catch or "successful", natural and non-forcing. Reminds me of wue-wei principles of non-action and flow state.

Print-Suspicious · 2024-04-12T23:21:21+00:00

There’s a bunch of mumbo jumbo and pick up masters and blah blah blah. Just live your own life. If people want to be in it let them in. If not who cares.

trifling-pickle · 2024-04-12T13:52:13+00:00

In my experience, the better I treat a woman, the better she treats me. The energy I put in gets paid back 10 fold.

bert_cj · 2024-04-12T18:00:30+00:00

I believe the opposite is true.

The more energy you focus on women and attaining multiple women, the more you will get, that’s just facts. You have to be a Chad to not put any energy into getting women and then getting women. When I put myself out there, go out more, ask for more girls instagrams, go on dating apps, I got wayyy more women than now. Where as now I’m focused on my goals and grinding. Not many women.

Now yes the more energy and time you focus on women the more time it’ll take from these goals.

But the sentiment that you get more girls by trying less is completely false.

LogicalChart3205 · 2024-04-12T11:48:48+00:00

Cuz they like the chase. If you simp on them and do everything for them then it'll be boring for them.

So if you put less energy it opens her doors of putting the energy. But you have to maintain it, if you leave everything to herself, her conscious will kick in and you're over. So let her do the work for you. While balancing it out from your side as well

Psychologically the one doing the work, making efforts and doing the favour will be the one falling in love more than the one on recieving end. If you ever hold her hair while she's puking thinking that damn i did something so important for her she must love me. WRONG you're the one falling harder in love at that moment. Not her.

RompeChocha · 2024-04-12T22:36:35+00:00

Less energy into one woman. And more energy to more women.

But I find life simpler with one woman. But then again I'm getting older.

Miikeymt · 2024-04-13T00:27:34+00:00

i put in no effort and my life sucks

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-04-12T16:08:52+00:00

I call this the try-hard paradox. If you try too hard at something you actually start getting worse. If you try too hard to sleep your sleep will get worse. If you try too hard to get people to like you then you will come off as clingy. If you try too hard to play a musical instrument well then you will play worse. I think this is true because performance requires flow state where you allow your brain to just do its things. If you try to micromanage yourself too much you interrupt that natural process. In terms of talking to women you interrupt that natural process of building a connection and come off as having an agenda and needy.

alcoyot · 2024-04-12T14:09:06+00:00

I’m not sure I really buy into that. If this was true you’d never leave your apartment. Like how do these women even find out about your existence?

Gingorthedestroyer · 2024-04-12T16:51:41+00:00

You have to have your own life. If when you start dating a girl and are available 24/7 she will become disinterested in you and less excited to be around you.

Yamochao · 2024-04-12T21:49:54+00:00

Put yourself first.

If you do shit because it's exciting, interesting, and challenging to you, you'll become a confident and authentic person.

If you do shit because you think it will earn you admiration or attention from women, you'll become a thin-skinned poser totally reliant on others for validation.

Most women can tell the difference because it will be the truth and it will come out through everything you do and say.

I recommend leaving this sub-- seriously ;)

ROBYoutube · 2024-04-12T14:00:32+00:00

The same reason that people think that they get more sexual interest when they're taken: they talk to women the same way they'd talk to dudes because they're in a relationship and faithful. And that is rare enough that women will - in comparison to what women were like to them when they were single - appear very interested. Even if they're just being more open around them because they are less likely to need to have to have their guards up about them being a potential sex pest.

PrinceDestin · 2024-04-12T13:57:40+00:00

It’s not about putting less energy into a woman, it’s about putting more energy in the things your supposed, your dreams, family money and purpose, and I know this sounds crazy……. But putting your energy in a good woman works wonders!

Stuckiesforreal · 2024-04-12T23:48:28+00:00

Yea I mean it's just not applicable in a marriage tbh. However I get your concept initially . Perception would just tell said person your og high value . It's basic psychology . I don't see a situation staying positive tho . Toxicity would follow without vulnerability or effort

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-04-12T23:50:27+00:00

Too long to explain but in short:

People never want what they can't get and only want what they can't get.

The guy who is always seeking girls, sex, relationships is who they can get. So they don't want him. The guy who is unavailable and too busy doing his thing is who they can't have so they want him.

dankmantis17 · 2024-04-13T03:28:56+00:00

this is just how it works fr. back when i struggled with women, i would b talking ab it to my coworkers constantly. and i remember one day my coworker explained that i just need to stop trying. lo and behold that has been the best advice ive ever gotten with women lol

Shadow__Account · 2024-04-13T08:32:38+00:00

People just don’t seem to get it. It’s not being a jerk that works it’s not not putting energy in a woman that works. What is attractive is putting energy in yourself m, knowing what you want and going for it and not caring what people think. There is just overlap and that’s why some jerks get more women than nice guys, but people keep mistaking correlation with causation

Organic_Pack1211 · 2024-04-13T11:41:01+00:00

This is going to get downvoted but it’s just women psychology. Women are attracted to someone who will be happy with or without them, they like to chase. You can look back at the stupid shit I’ve asked on here and compare them to my success stories; the less you chase to more she likes you. PS this isn’t a bad thing just part of the process

Lndo5050 · 2024-04-13T15:03:24+00:00

Wasn’t going to comment, but I really enjoy treating the ladies in my life really well, always check in and lately generally feel I am taken for granted, assumed I will just be there

Reading some of this I think it Time to be a bit of a dick and see how it goes. At least I got a baseline to compare the results to!!

evan_drty · 2024-04-13T22:50:31+00:00

this the sauce

Epiphanic_Eros · 2024-04-13T23:07:38+00:00

I suspect it’s a healthy, evolved response. Women are more attracted to guys who aren’t needy and thirsty

miyass_miyass · 2024-04-12T18:31:27+00:00

This is basic bro nonsense and has nothing to do with seduction…

EnderStarcraft · 2024-04-12T16:37:58+00:00

Tell me you have never been in a successful long term relationship without telling me you have never been in a successful long term relationship.

The game of attraction is very different than building a solid foundation for a relationship.

Mooglenator · 2024-04-12T17:35:04+00:00

That first part is absolutely true! I got married back in September and I wear my ring every day. I have noticed a substantial uptick in the frequency of women who flirt with me or have a playful lingering gaze. I'm not sure if it's my wedding ring or if my energy of unavailability is being projected, but it is one (or both) of those.

ExtraordinaryBeetles · 2024-04-12T18:04:06+00:00

Women aren't attracted to men's lust for them like men are attracted to women's lust for them.

ireallyloveoats · 2024-04-12T18:58:11+00:00

Stop thinking logically and put yourself in a woman's shoes. Wouldn't you be attracted to someone who has an abundant lifestyle and the girl Is winning him over versus him picking her because she is his only option?

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2024-04-12T19:33:20+00:00

neil strauss teaches pursing women and pick up should be a hobby, a hobby ranking high in priorities but nonetheless a hobby, you must focus more on your purpose than that, it's part of being attractive to women lol, guys who have goals and ambition towards something are attractive to women.

CoachWilliamNova · 2024-04-12T13:42:33+00:00

Yes and No

as far as mindset goes, its correct. An attractive dominant male is almost "too busy" for women.

But in practicality, as a beginner you need to go out there and take action and actually meet women.

Problem is most of the strategies promoted these days to do that are not efficient, so guys crack un der the pressure of massive rejection, and tend to shut down like a turtle, producing posts like this.

Solution is not to stop talking to women, its to improve your strategies.

Wing_Inevitable · 2024-04-12T15:27:10+00:00

Disinterest is a form of high value . Aka in MONKEY (woman ) speak “He ignores me he must get equal or better than me - so he is in demand “

HowToStud · 2024-04-13T08:36:14+00:00

You act more desperate when you put focus in women. When you have other things going on in life and women aren’t your highest priority, you naturally are not as desperate and your actions convey that. Women can sense this through your behavior and social cues.

Upset_Opposite3961 · 2024-04-13T14:07:55+00:00

Good question, maybe they enjoy being treated like trash but without bad intentions, just accidentally, as in “I didn’t want to be mean, it just you see, I was too busy with my own shit to even pay attention to you”.

johan2424 · 2024-04-13T19:25:48+00:00

No matter what so ever happens I got rejection every time in terms of different way either the women they block you or either never reply back your text now I am thinking to give up on chasing girls as I never had girlfriend before but what can I do as I am not getting any attention even though I am trying out on parks clubs that’s the reason I never understand the british culture that’s what they actually want in male

Present_Way_4318 · 2024-04-13T19:27:05+00:00

This works on women who do not understand their value or worth. When a woman comes into her feminine energy she will expect someone who balances her investment equally.

666nothim · 2024-04-20T04:22:19+00:00

a bit late but could you define focus?

Silver_Highlight1936 · 2024-04-12T20:59:34+00:00

"so they make peace and accept the positive aspects of the dynamic, because if they don’t the dynamic will cease to exist."

I used to be that insecure woman. Why kn earth would you want to date someone like that baffles me.

That's not even dating. Just an ego boost.

My ex did this. After 7 years together I was lucky if he sent a MY text (yeah..). Bit I was not happy with my in general. And that unhappiness translated into how I allowed him to treat me.

I left, he was emotionally shattered. I was not as I had enough of lying and ignorance.

Now looking back I don't understand men or women who are proud to say that they found a holly grail of ignoring the opposite sex. That's just pushing one button. And if a woman gets addicted like that it means there's some works she needs to do first. Why would you want a relationship like that?

Are you even attracted to their personalities?

There is a difference between getting an ego boost and finding a life partner.

racheldaniellee · 2024-04-12T21:24:26+00:00

I’m a woman, and admittedly may have some attachment issues, but I want to feel special. Like out of all the women in the world you want to be with me.

If you’re coming on strong after just one date, it feels disingenuous to me - you don’t really know me yet! How could you be that into me!

I want to date a guy who has options, but is picking me specifically after getting to know me. I want to work to earn affection. If the affection is just freely given off the bat, it feels fake and just based on surface level qualities. If you’re already enamored with me after one date, it feels like you just wanted someone, and it could have been anyone.

Also too much affection early on is just cringe for me. I don’t need you to compliment me a thousand times or tell me you’re always thinking about me. Just be normal! Get to know me! At least until things are getting serious.

hellnhoney · 2024-04-12T23:49:59+00:00

this isn’t even a seduction page this a whiny man club

hellnhoney · 2024-04-12T23:50:48+00:00

none of the posts in this subreddit is about seduction men just come here to whine about how women don’t like them lmfao

Organic_Pack1211 · 2024-04-13T11:40:54+00:00

This is going to get downvoted but it’s just women psychology. Women are attracted to someone who will be happy with or without them, they like to chase. You can look back at the stupid shit I’ve asked on here and compare them to my success stories; the less you chase to more she likes you. PS this isn’t a bad thing just part of the process

EyeNTJ · 2024-04-12T14:59:11+00:00

slight reframe: the more you invest in yourself, the more dividends your female portfolio pays

SuperPoop · 2024-04-12T15:11:02+00:00

i invested so much time into bettering myself and improving my socials skills. I have an amazing wife to show for it. Keep working hard and the universe will deliver you exactly what you are looking for.

petaret · 2024-04-12T16:45:56+00:00

Yes women are the most retarded species on the planet. Pretty though and nice smelling

geomaster · 2024-04-12T14:53:02+00:00

you were so close... "the more dividends my female portfolio"... lays

Chuyzapatist · 2024-04-12T16:14:03+00:00

My partner describes herself as having a cat like personality in that regard. So what you’re saying makes some sense OP. It’s very nuanced but makes sense.

g59fieroboi · 2024-04-12T17:01:23+00:00

Where do you meet these women?

domdomdom333 · 2024-04-12T17:26:19+00:00

Weird, that hasn't happened to me. Thes I focused on women they hadn't returned interest in me ever since

Dumbass1171 · 2024-04-12T19:19:00+00:00

I feel this is an initial thing that wears off after a week or two. Eventually the guy should start showing more energy, otherwise the girl tends to move on imo

halifax696 · 2024-04-12T20:46:35+00:00

Same!

Sweet_Reflexion · 2024-04-12T14:48:32+00:00

It kind of brings to mind how I feel whenever online dating comes up. There's a real paradox happening there with effort put in versus gain. I've always stayed away from it, so I've never had to bother with all that stuff about putting time into writing your bio and getting good photos and having to wait for responses to DM's and all that bs, yet I seem to just find high-quality women effortlessly in person. Whereas the vast majority of guys who bother with online dating seem to be putting in so much effort yet they struggle for female attention. It makes you wonder how things ended up this way. You'd think the dudes who put more work in should do better.

Not the exact same thing as what you're talking about but the parallels are uncanny.

RepresentativeOil953 · 2024-04-12T15:34:47+00:00

Because its true

Salmon3000 · 2024-04-12T16:44:44+00:00

The less 'needy' of her validation you are, the better. It applies to many things not only women

kyle_fall · 2024-04-12T16:56:21+00:00

Why is it an enigma? The more distracted you are; the less power and relevance you have. The more focused on your mission and life you are the more abundance you create for yourself and the potential women that would end up joining your life.

The average male is useless to women and probably a liability actually with the drama and wasting her time she could be spending meeting a superior male.

pumadine666 · 2024-04-12T17:29:06+00:00

look up cat string theory , a concept from from Pickup artists. IIRC this was discovered by Mystery or his buddy Matador.

guypamplemousse · 2024-04-12T17:46:19+00:00

This should probably be the “pinned post” for this sub

☝️

Title	why does it seem like the less energy a man puts into women, the better his life gets? such an enigma
Author	perpetualomerta
Upvotes	760
Comments	205
Date	April 12, 2024 11:32 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1c26u81/why_does_it_seem_like_the_less_energy_a_man_puts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-does-it-seem-like-the-less-energy-a-man-puts.1514826 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514826

Comments