Ugly - hot people

Imwaymoreflythanyou · 2021-09-08T13:59:09+00:00

Sounds like you have an internal conflict where you believe you shouldn’t be attracted to someone that others aren’t attracted to. I guess there’s some logic to this in a “what am I not seeing that everyone else is” sense. A feeling of “I must be wrong”.

However, I think this is a horrible way of thinking about attraction. Shouldn’t think there has TO be something wrong if you’re attracted to someone and others aren’t. They’re attractive to you and it’s that simple. Who cares what other people are attracted to. You don’t need to mould your tastes to a consensus when it comes to everything. If you loved seafood but everyone you’ve ever met thought it was disgusting would you think there’s something wrong with you/seafood and be insecure about it/ stop enjoying it, or would you say whatever and continue to enjoy what you enjoy and be happy?

Anyways I’m going off on a tangent a bit, if you’re attracted to someone it’s because they make you feel good and you feel safe, chemistry around them. If they’re a good person as well then no shit you’re gonna be attracted to them.

Long story short: it’s not always all about perfect looks.

ohheyhi99 · 2021-09-08T13:18:26+00:00

“Does anyone / has anyone here ever found themselves attracted to someone who most others would likely view as borderline unattractive”

Yes, but in my experience, that person usually has some conventionally attractive physical traits going for them along with an attractive vibe.

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-09-08T14:03:49+00:00

Yes, I’m very open about the fact that I’ve been wildly attracted to men who were - on paper - ugly

It didn’t matter to me, though, I found those guys hot

ashpr0ulx · 2021-09-08T13:51:54+00:00

my biggest source of attraction to a man is that he looks intimidating and scary. so a guy can be fairly ugly but if he has that going for him it can easily light my fire, lord help me.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-09-08T14:05:15+00:00

I like unconventionally attractive people. I don’t care for the word ugly.

StuDentMyCar · 2021-09-08T14:25:02+00:00

yes, i work with a guy who I didn’t find attractive at first. He was generally the opposite of the guys i usually date. But as we talked I realize he is funny and we have an insane amount in common. Eventually I did find him cute, very cute.

fuck_life419 · 2021-09-08T13:32:26+00:00

yeah, 2-3 times on the top my head now i was attracted girls who were never really physicaly attractive, its mostly their personality that made me attracted to them, specailly this very average looking girl who i thought was very smart.

which IMO makes me think that its even easier for men, since for women in dating your IQ, charisma and social skills, personality and looks matter, unlike for men its mostly curves and boobs ( read the article called ''how your brain choose the people you desire'' ) which can be a double edge sword since women can still have sex without having a personality while alot of attractive or noraml and average looking men cant if they have personality isues

sadly for me i have the personality of a cardboard, i got approached by girls few times but it never lead anywhere, cuz again, i dont have a personality ( probably due to my ADHD )

Pilling_it · 2021-09-08T13:30:58+00:00

Does anyone / has anyone here ever found themselves attracted to someone who most others would likely view as borderline unattractive, but you for some reason still really want to f*k them?

There's some people that just have an attractive vibe and traits that are conventionally attractive personality wise, so not to say it's easy for them, but relatively to their attractiveness, they're doing pretty well. Usually very chill, engaging, positive persons with not a bit of bitterness.

Does anyone know why we feel this way towards certain people? Has anyone gone through with sleeping with that person?

That's what we actually call chemistry imo. As in intellectual one.

Edit: Disclaimer - this is not just a matter of feeling horny and wanting to sleep with someone / anyone. Even when not feeling horny, you would still find them really attractive.

Yup.

death_by_1000_cats · 2021-09-08T16:17:47+00:00

I think my husband falls into this category. I find him very attractive but he is not a "pretty boy" type at all and his look is pretty niche. When I first started crushing on him a lot of my friends were like "That guy? Really?"

He's not some fat gross neckbeard slob or anything but his facial features are kind of... harsh? idk how to answer this question without just sounding like I'm shit talking my husband lol, but yeah I think a lot of women would find him "borderline unattractive" in terms of facial features.

Gravel_Roads · 2021-09-08T13:21:35+00:00

I fucked a dude in a wheelchair for a while. He was Swedish. He'd been wheelchair bound for most of his life, so his lower half and legs were atrophied and skinny. But I thought he was awesome, he had adapted his torso and could walk around on his hands. He even had a custom car that he could drive without needing to use his feet.

We drank a lot of wine on his porch and talked about language and culture, then we'd go back to his bedroom and I'd ride his dick like a cowboy. Really cool guy. He's even married now!

(Context: am bi dude.)

techr0nin · 2021-09-08T14:29:54+00:00

I’ve gotten this a couple of times. Once was when a girl had an AMAZING fit body except butterface. She was also a great athlete but really sweet and down to earth. I honestly thought I could disregard the face at the time.

The second time was a co-worker of mine who is dead-average in every way. I went karaoke with the office once after work and she had this angelic singing voice that was honestly professional grade, and I was mezmerized and entranced while she sang and thought she was honestly so beautiful. That feeling subsides though whenever she’s not holding a mike. Don’t know if aural sexual is a thing but apparently I’m turned on by women that can sing.

ShinyBronze · 2021-09-08T14:48:32+00:00

For me it was reverse, I found her physically appealing at first… but then when I found out other guys didn’t find her attractive, I started losing attraction to her.

The mind is weird.

RedditAlt999 · 2021-09-08T15:53:26+00:00

Definitely. Every woman I've been in any kind of long term situation/relationship with had a conventionally "weird or odd" looking nose. I don't know why, but that's what gets me every time.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-09-08T21:23:01+00:00

Well, here's my thoughts on this.

I am way more forgiving with a "below average face" than I am with "below average body".

To me, it doesn't matter how beautiful a woman's face is if I don't find her body alluring. She could be a literal 10 facially and if she's got an ick body, then I'd pass.

And, if a woman has a "meh" face or even a "not so great face" if she's got a body that works for me I used to find myself intrigued.

Sometimes I used to find myself physically attracted to butch women because of their body shape, even though it was almost obvious they were lesbian.

Other times guys would say a woman was unattractive and I thought she had a cute face.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Or, beer holder.

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2021-09-08T16:56:07+00:00

I've been the most sexually attracted to women who were plain average at best, and I can say I'm top notch looks wise. I'm 6.3', very ripped and muscular and have very pleasing and masculine facial features.

Good looking women tend to not be really enthusiastic and adventurous in bed, most of them do the starfish thing and can come off as entitled. For me that's a turn off. Instant bone killer.

Girls who are less blessed on the looks department put more effort and are willing to indulge in more thing I enjoy, and the best part is they enjoy pleasing me in bed. This drives me insane.

cvslengthbucketlist · 2021-09-08T20:05:16+00:00

Aside from the obvious answers like personality and compatibility, sometimes a lack of perceived competition for a person makes them more attractive if you're type B, because the idea of an easily accessible relationship with a conventionally unattractive person (but someone you're still attracted to) can be more appealing than having to spend time and energy potentially chasing and being rejected by a hot person.

It's a bit like: why drive 20 miles and wait an hour to eat at a 5 star restaurant when there's a nice local place you can walk to in 5 minutes and get your favorite homestyle dishes served in half the time?

ToughAnswers · 2021-09-08T15:50:04+00:00

Huge tits

PsilosirenRose · 2021-09-08T14:08:26+00:00

Yeah, most of the people I've had serious relationships weren't initially my physical type. My attraction to personality can override physical-only considerations and sometimes even shift my palate (I didn't used to be into redheads until my nesting partner and I got together and my attraction to him made me start liking redheads much more frequently).

rn7889 · 2021-09-08T14:34:16+00:00

Yep. A perfect 7 is actually a 10

HappilyMrs · 2021-09-08T16:05:32+00:00

Probably most of my dating history would fall into this category. And I think people become much more attractive once you create a link with them emotionally too

PeskyHijinks · 2021-09-08T16:57:01+00:00

I am in one of such relationships. I've been with the same woman for more than a decade. She is a gorgeous woman, and I am... not a good looking person. She honestly thinks I'm good looking though, unless she's been blowing smoke up my butt for ages, so I have no choice but to believe her. I'm a 4/10 and she's a 9/10. I have no explanation other than that there are people put there with very skewed aesthetic standards. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and there are people out there who are genuinely attracted to oddities. Don't get the wrong idea, our relationship is more than just looks and I treat and support her very well, but the initial attraction was there... somehow. I guess you just never can tell, eh?

ameleahj · 2021-09-08T19:22:46+00:00

It's because you find them attractive and that particular person what is attractive to you. Maybe you're growing as a person and are seeing more than just the magazine perfect people as possible mates/dates/partnerships/other ships. I don't know how else to explain preferences? The people I find attractive aren't likely to be the kind you find attractive and that's okay. I'm probably not attractive to you, but I am to my partner. These things are usual, normal and regular. There's not one blueprint of people that can be deemed as attractive in the eyes of all humanity.

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2021-09-08T21:07:00+00:00

I thank god every day that this is a thing, because if it wasn't I'd probably never get laid.

I have all kinds of 'on paper' ugly things about me, in particular a big / prominent pointy nose which I had come very close several times to getting "fixed" surgically.

Well that nose seems to get me laid as often as anything else, or at least get called out by something certain (not all) girls have some weird thing for.

I've also got bad skin from childhood acne, which some girls also seem to not mind. It's all very strange, but it does teach one the lesson of the importance of just 'owning' things rather than trying to escape them.

As for me, I love 'trashy' looking tatted up women a lot of the time and can't really explain it since it's totally not my own personal style.

Physically, a girl with slightly crossed eyes makes my heart melt. I have no fucking clue why this is.

Elver86 · 2021-09-09T01:01:38+00:00

I know what you mean by your edit, but let's also acknowledge that you can be attracted to a person who is not "pretty" to you, as well as vice versa, think someone is "pretty" but not be sexually attracted to them.

I think this evens out some as you get to know the person behind the face, if you're compatible with them. Like, the guy you have crazy sexual chemistry with but don't find attractive in other ways can become so once you get to know and like one another, and so on.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-09-09T17:36:04+00:00

Yes

A woman can be unattractive but sexy as fuck. I met one woman like this in real life. She had a decent body but a butterface. But there was something about her, mostly her personality, that made her just as sexy as all get out.

Charo is unattractive, but sexy. The woman literally exudes sex.

TheOtherGuysSequel · 2021-09-08T13:19:13+00:00

I have girl friends who is cute who dated with this guy that I find really not good looking, basically a mouth breather, not really ugly but not really good looking either too but he is a nice guy (not in insulting way) and they are still going strong till this day. I guess the saying love is blind is true.

razormachine · 2021-09-08T13:17:56+00:00

Yes and yes.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

coldestblack · 2021-09-08T14:24:38+00:00

It's called butterface

Men do this shit all the time.

anonymous_redditor91 · 2021-09-08T15:01:33+00:00

Yeah, although she had a nice body (though she had a lot of bad tattoos and scars from self-inflicted cuts). She was a bit of a butter face though, and she had acne and generally bad skin, and her hair was a knotted up mess, but she was smart, funny, and the way she carried herself made me incredibly attracted to her. She was cute, charming, and she just carried herself with confidence, and she was a lot of fun to talk to.

Does anyone know why we feel this way towards certain people?

Attraction is a complicated thing, and it isn't all to do with looks.

Has anyone gone through with sleeping with that person?

I did not. She had a boyfriend at the time, but if she hadn't I would've definitely made a move.

CommanderBobcat · 2021-09-08T17:37:35+00:00

Most "ugly hot" people are guys with high-quality traits and a few bad ones, like Adam Driver (shitty facial development, but deep voice, tall, etc). I've never seen a meek, narrow shouldered guy described as "ugly-hot", that label is solely for masculine types who lucked out genetically in an unconventional way.

Same with "butterface" women though. I remember playing marry/fuck/kill with my coed sports team and every guy chose "fuck" for this one ugly woman with a big ass. I think every guy feels like they happened upon some rare untapped secret when getting horny for a butterface, though really it's a universal phenomenon.

Komaric_ · 2021-09-08T13:22:13+00:00

but you for some reason still really want to f*k them?

Why does your mind instantly gravitate towards sex?

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SadAbbreviation · 2021-09-08T14:22:14+00:00

Always

2021-09-08T15:22:22+00:00

I am not into overweight chicks at all. However i was doing work stuff with this overweight chick that had an amazing 10/10 personality (funny, very sweet/nice/considerate and engages you as a person and shows genuine interest) and i got sprung. Im married but if not would have maybe thought about trying to get in her pants and see if i can actually become fatsexual for her

utopista114 · 2021-09-08T15:24:31+00:00

Yes. I'm a man. Duh.

superlurkage · 2021-09-08T15:29:23+00:00

Yes. It was weird

daniellederek · 2021-09-08T15:36:55+00:00

This is why ballgags and rope were invented

jiggywitit2 · 2021-09-08T15:42:03+00:00

Frequently, I don’t know why tho.

PMmeareasontolive · 2021-09-08T16:02:59+00:00

I don't think so offhand, but then I wonder what the standards of beauty are for this sub. I suspect they are probably higher than mine to begin with.

MGTOWManofMystery · 2021-09-08T16:20:32+00:00

Yes, men can be very egalitarian in terms of providing vitamin D.

Harvest895 · 2021-09-08T16:22:31+00:00

A lot of times it doesn’t matter. I don’t know about ugly but I do find women with simpler looks more attractive. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Small boobs. Not really into the super hot 10/10. If she’s 10/10 with her personality and sex then that’s all that matters to me.

TodTheRod01 · 2021-09-08T16:50:50+00:00

Not that i can remember

over348 · 2021-09-08T16:54:07+00:00

Every girl I asked out

Ankleson · 2021-09-08T17:11:47+00:00

I don't think attraction is as binary as some of the people on here would like you to believe.

87AudreyHorne · 2021-09-08T17:14:24+00:00

For sure, some people wear their looks with style and make a weird feature seem interesting or even attractive. I am sure that usually they are better looking than they seem in ways harder to describe for an average person, like the overall proportions etc.

I also find that looks are more than just attractive vs unattractive. Certain features suggest some traits, like some people look kind, or intelligent, or funny.. and some look mean or dumb. I think people who arent classically beautiful whose features carry overall positive suggestions can actually come across as attractive.

For instance, and I know he's a handsome man, but for me Jack Nicholsons naughty smile and eyebrows made his looks not because they're some highly aesthetic features by default but because there's so much you read from his features. Now he might be old, bald and fat but he still has that expression....

I think expressions play a big part. Some people just look expressive and interesting without any prettiness to them

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-09-08T17:24:43+00:00

Yep and I did, there was just something about her, she had a pretty good body but her face was a little below average but she was dynamite in the sack

atk352 · 2021-09-08T18:19:59+00:00

A woman's needs a conventionally attractive body but with face there is alot of leeway.

For instance, a girl could have a big nose and still be hot as long as she has the body

CFinCanada · 2021-09-08T18:21:06+00:00

Yes, Adrien Brody is attractive to me.

KAM_2021-now · 2021-09-08T19:19:43+00:00

Yeah, that guy who plays Kylo Ren or whatever and Loki actor.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-09-08T19:40:18+00:00

Yes.

KorovaMolokoLand · 2021-09-08T20:18:04+00:00

Janis Joplin. I always thought she was hot when I started digging through old music. Something about the way she carried herself was attractive to me.

parabenprincess · 2021-09-08T20:54:46+00:00

No. If that were the case, I’d still be turned on by more men out there and they’re really nothing to sneeze at.

dres_sler · 2021-09-08T22:48:32+00:00

I routinely find women attractive who are not generally viewed as conventionally good looking.

Superfluous_Toast · 2021-09-09T01:22:06+00:00

That would be my taste in a nutshell.

SamGlass · 2021-09-09T03:23:06+00:00

Something you'll come to find to be truer and truer as you age is this: Different strokes for different folks.

2021-09-09T03:46:59+00:00

Yeah I'm just attracted to thoughtful, sensitive, intelligent and funny people and that comes in all forms. I even sometimes meet a girl that's just the right combo of those traits and I think she's pretty hot and I'm straight. It's weird to me that more people aren't googly eyes over them.

I mean my childhood crush was the least alpha character in Ed Edd n Eddy. Also, y'all know Theo Von? Dude's hilarious, and he has a mullet. Spencer Reid, anyone? Dr K on twitch, a cute rare spawned emotionally intelligent Indian dude. I also fell for 4 gay guys throughout my lifetime RIP. I can think of a bunch more characters, the commonality is they're usually the nerdier, weaker, loserish but smart and kind guys.

Their looks are pretty random. I'm not bad at predicting someone's personality based on looks or smalltalk though. And a lot of times the best personality is in the guy the others make fun of shrug. My boyfriend's overweight, I didn't care, I was addicted to his humor and how articulate he was from the start and that was that.

Maybe it's also because I'm turned off easily by snobbish egotistical personality, and you can spot those people from a mile away. There's a burly man at my boyfriend's family dinners that thinks he's the shit and wants everyone else to know it too by talking loud and proud about how he'd shoot a cat if it came into his yard (lol does this give away my state?). I straight up told my boyfriend don't invite me to events this dude is expected to attend.

SamGlass · 2021-09-09T03:54:58+00:00

Almost 100% of my crushes have been deemed ugly or unworthy of notice by my friends and peers my whole life. But now as an adult I've grown close with a lot of the women in my family and it turns out my cousin and sister share the same tastes. Everytime I ask them if they agree a man is hot, they say yes.

I don't know if they're just agreeing with me to be nice and polite. And by that same token I don't know if my friends had ever lied to me any of those times they allegedly disagreed.

My advice is go for it and disregard others' opinions and thoughts. ( I would suggest applying this advice to everything and throughout your whole life, btw)

And to answer your question yes I've bumped uglies with my uglies. No regrets. :]

2021-09-09T04:03:09+00:00

Meee! My friends always tell me the guys I’m into are kind of weird, but I find that I am really into specific mannerisms! Doesn’t matter if you don’t have that standardized beauty, if you talk a certain way, move a certain way, you dress a certain way, have a certain vibe, you know… 🤤

me76h · 2021-09-09T07:57:22+00:00

I am that person, I'm not good looking. Women have told me that it's something about me, but can't say what. I was always puzzled by this. Today I have accepted it and I see there is a subtle charm in it.

HuntressAndGoat · 2021-09-09T09:26:57+00:00

I think its awful to be so focused on outer appearances. Honestly if you enjoy the person & can stand Looking in thier face . then what does it matter. What anyone else thinks?
As long as they have decent to good hygiene . wear clothing thats clean... Dont worry to much on it? Too often very lovely individuals are avoided just Because they were born looking Different. Ugh

conker29 · 2021-09-09T12:41:26+00:00

Yes, I'm minging but I still manage to attract women fairly easily

Aldabruzzo · 2021-09-09T18:17:21+00:00

Also -

I think more men are "ugly-hot" than there are women who are "ugly-hot". Keith Richards, Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler, etc. etc.

pihkaltih · 2021-09-09T21:41:50+00:00

I mean, sure, I'm attracted to weird personalities and other specific things about women honestly, if a Woman has a weird but effort put in hair style and yet a 4/10 face, I'm all in on that. For some reason I notice hair and big eyes more than anything.

What I always find hilarious though is Women pretending Adam Driver is a 10/10 where, if he wasn't a famous actor, his face would put him at a 4/10 at best. In my "nerd society" groups, there are lots of guys that look very similar to Adam Driver and they ain't getting laid.

Leenwahhee · 2021-09-10T14:53:37+00:00

Thats how chad feels when he fucks a fatty. He secretly likes it but cant bring himself to acknowledge his preferences publicly.

You should have secret casual hookups with such people

Nihi1986 · 2021-09-10T16:23:28+00:00

A few times I've been attracted to women who others didn't find attractive. The sad and funny part is that they didn't seem very interested on me.

Also dated more conventionally attractive girls and I lost interest fast...

GunnzzNRoses · 2021-09-11T09:41:42+00:00

Yes. It's usually for one of two reasons.

One, they are a very cool person, and that bumps them up quite a bit.

Two, they worship me, as I'm out of their league, and that's nice too.

advicethrowawayyys · 2021-09-14T20:27:04+00:00

I have this weird attraction to CinnamonToastKen. I think it’s his obvious paternalistic qualities. He has a hot wife though so maybe I’m not that odd.

Opposite-Scar7575 · 2021-09-08T15:06:00+00:00

No, I've always dated and fucked conventionally men.

There's maybe two celebrity men who are unattractive but sexy in a weird way. Jimmy from 'better call Saul"

Physiologist21 · 2021-09-08T15:46:16+00:00

Yup, but I imagine most males would. There is no 1-10 there is only yes or no, and it's yes for 95% of everyone.

wtknight · 2021-09-08T23:29:08+00:00

Sure. My first wife didn't have a great face but she had a body that I really liked. My ex-girlfriend was the opposite and had a not so great body, but a very pretty face. I don't have the looks or charisma to get the most attractive women so I had to learn to be attracted to women who were not conventionally attractive. My current wife is attractive, but she was originally from a developing country.

Title	Ugly - hot people
Author	Purplmegwalec
Upvotes	52
Comments	159
Date	September 8, 2021 1:10 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pka7ux/ugly_hot_people/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/ugly-hot-people.1069794 https://theredarchive.com/post/1069794

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