For about 3 weeks, I (20F) was dating a guy (20M). He was very kind, talkative and funny. We went to dinner 3 times and to the cinema twice. He paid for everything and wouldn’t let me contribute.

He let me know he has two girl best friends. One of them is my bff and the other I don’t talk to. We were on the phone, and he told me he finds one of them attractive, even though I didn’t ask. He mentioned how he would take a bullet for both of them. Once again I didn’t ask. I just said alright.

When we were planning our second date he told me he’ll be doing a sleepover at one of the girls bff’s house and how her and another girl will join us on the date. I said no, just spend the day with them. I was irritated how he could just invite other women to join us on our date. He apologised with a long paragraph saying it’s not like that.

Eventually it was just us on the date. And once again, it went well. Last Saturday, I was doing some thinking about him and these 2 girl best friends. I asked him:

“If we ever get into a relationship, would you still do sleepovers at girls’ houses?”

He said “tbh yeah, only my 2 best friends, anyone else I wouldn’t be comfortable with it.”

I told him I don’t like it, he asked what was wrong with that and that there should be trust.

I asked, “are you okay with me sleeping at a guy’s house?”

He answered, “as long as I knew them then there wouldn’t be a problem”.

I basically told him how if I get into a relationship with someone, I want us to be each other’s best friends.

He said “well okay I can’t force you to do what you’re not comfortable with. I guess I’m sorry it’s come to this.” And that was the end of the conversation, we haven’t spoken since.

Even if that’s a small reason to stop dating someone, to me I don’t want a guy to have girl best friends where he can occasionally do sleepovers at one of their houses. I wouldn’t do that, so I’m allowed to want the same