CMV: PPD is full of nothing, but toxic forced optimists who don't want to hear genuine/valid criticisms on the behalf of modern dating or actual solutions to modern dating's problems, you all just want people to get at it dating regardless if is doing good to one's physique or not

vuvvuvvu · 2022-06-07T20:31:06+00:00

PPD is also not a very accurate representation of reality. Not saying it’s all BS but if you only read this sub you’d think all women everywhere only date Chad and average men are useless sad depressed fucks who can’t do anything to shape their own lives. This sub hyperfocuses on online dating and tends to negate other outlets of dating.

A quick trip outside reveals plenty of average men and women are in relationships. Most men and women are just normal decent people who want to live happy lives.

midwesternMD · 2022-06-07T20:26:01+00:00

People can yammer on all they want about a theoretical “solution.” The problem is, said solution requires the collective society to put it into effect. So while it’s fun to have academic discussions about alternate realities, that doesn’t actually help the single folks browsing PPD.

What does help the single folks browsing PPD is to tell them their options are to:

1) be better

2) expect less

3) quit

4) stick around and bitch and moan for a while

And if they want to connect, as a numbers game, they will have to slog through it.

hemaristhysbe · 2022-06-08T02:17:10+00:00

people's preferences and standards are way tighter than ever,

Translation: women can earn a living and pay their own bills and no longer feel compelled to settle for a man she isn’t physically attracted to and intellectually excited about.

TotalTravesty · 2022-06-07T20:28:29+00:00

PPD? Optimists? Are we talking about the same PPD?!

But one thing I cannot get behind is the lack of a consensus

Welcome to life, where different people with different experiences and different beliefs dare to exist.

Just because a few of us don’t immediately look to the rope every time we’re left on read doesn’t mean we think dating is all unicorns and puppies and guaranteed sex. Some people just understand life is hard and move on regardless.

Maybe it was a mistake to close down all those ‘cel forums.

goatismycopilot · 2022-06-07T20:44:11+00:00

Where is your evidence that PPD wants to coerce others into dating?

If anything we have 500 threads a week from men saying they are going to move to Romania and buy a trad wife because dating is so awful or invent wombs and grow cabbage patch kids and turn them into a spartan army to over throw feminism, or dating sucks because women won't discuss math or libertarianism, or dating sucks because women are hive rabbit cows. It is 24/7 women are stupid bitch hoes who are too boring and expensive to date, or my cousin got divorced and now he lives in a shoe so I am never getting married, or hoes mad, or some bitch blocked me because I sent her cute pirn of chicks with big asses.

This place is the opposite of woo hoo dating so much fun.

sernamedeleted · 2022-06-07T20:59:00+00:00

Healthy relationships are based on open and honest communication between mature consenting adults who treat each other with respect and share common interests and compatible life goals.

Ok_Patient_8526 · 2022-06-07T22:02:40+00:00

ppd

Optimists

Hahahahahhahahahaha. Dude, like..c'mon.

just_a_place · 2022-06-07T20:49:42+00:00

To be brutally honest, a lot of you in here don't actually date. You all play games on your phone and confuse it with real life. Tinder is NOT dating. Get off your damned phones! I never have any issues meeting women and it's because I actually meet them, as in, face to face, in person, in real life!

90% of the woes brought forth in this place all have to do with hiding behind a screen and being too chicken shit to approach girls on their turf. Cowardice and the impersonal detachment of electronics are the cancer and bane of these perpetual complainers. The irony of ironies is that the women that these dudes complain about don't actually exist except in their head! When they get their ass out there and actually see what real flesh and blood women are really like it's like nirvana/enlightenment for these guys.

There is no such damned thing as "modern dating complexities." We are still the same clumsy apes that we were a century ago. We all still want to fuck and we all still want to love. It's in figuring it out where things got wonky in this last generation - again - because of the introduction of these damned phones and dating apps! Specifically the internet.

Preferences and standards have NOT changed. How do I know this? Because I can have a relationship with a woman in her 40's (which I am having right now) and I can also have a relationship with a woman in her 20's. That's two completely different groups of women from two different generations! Preferences and standards of course will vary from individual to individual but these are not significant enough to claim that these are now so different that a woman today will not find the same qualities in males that women in the 80's found attractive. Superficially things have changes such as clothes, hair, and music. But the core personality and physical traits that women have found attractive for literally eons has not changed! This is an illusion.

Yes good looks help, a LOT. This should not be news to anyone.

Yes status also helps, again, this is not news.

But the most distinctively male thing that we do is that we are tenacious when we want something! That is what a ton of women find attractive. Tenacity = virility. Women are clever creatures who are not as easily bamboozled by good looks the way we are. Many women who I impress in first meetings end up losing interest once they find out I am not the personality they wanted me to be or if they believe I am not ambitious enough. My looks open a lot of doors for me, but that does not mean I get to stay for free in the girls club once I'm in. Women scrutinize more than just looks. Anyone who interacts with women in person knows this.

backcourtjester · 2022-06-07T20:21:58+00:00

How can dating be bad for your physique?!

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-06-07T21:21:00+00:00

Sorry but you lost me at “optimists.”lol

Gigamon2014 · 2022-06-07T21:42:30+00:00

That's reddit in general. Also remember Reddit has the most mediocre and economically deprived userbase of all the major social media platforms.

Put it this way. When it comes to questions on coding issues I have at work I can either come to Reddit for answers or StackExchange. The latter is ALWAYS the better option despite the userbase being much ruder. The top answers will ALWAYS solve the problem rather than just being some dumbass trying to make the same tired joke to karma fish. Any question I have on here will literally have half a dozen jackasses using it as an excuse to tell you why your method is wrong and why there's is correct despite said method fundamentally changing the nature of the code. Remember arguing with an idiot a few years ago that my required attributes of a Python script couldn't use the Boto3 library due to compatibility needs. Everyone here wants to pretend to be an expert on a subject despite Reddit largely being a place where experts don't congregate.

What does that mean?

You have a bunch of people (mostly "bluepillers") repeating the same stupid bullshit they've seen regurgitated from whatever meaningless bunk is being peddled by mainstream media. You see this a lot with racial topics. There are black centric messageboards with way more nuanced debate which often skirts the line of political correctness, on Reddit you have this very surface level "tolerance" which often just reads like virtue signalling.

Lateralanouncer · 2022-06-07T21:31:46+00:00

Firstly men and woman battling and doing what is best for their own sex is a zero sum game. As before contraception it used to be about a dependent family. Mom dad kids. Or Dad Mom kids.

relationships are good for a consumerist economy, no

I think singletons are good for a consumerist economy, more around the fact corporate wants woman in the work force. while the dieing nuclear family and marrage are good for a stable economy. Lower marrage rate communities are lower decile, higher crime and have higher inequality.

As we move into a de regulated sexual market and now that feminist have changed the focus from freedom of choice to the opposite which is do it my way. Then ad American lynching culture which due to american run social media is going global.

We are all in a position of having to re define ourselves in a rapidly changing society. As a man is no longer a hardworking individual that protects and provides for his dependants. We are now re defining what a man is. Is Andrew Tait the new role model for men. Was it KS preaching HVM need a a woman to have a legasy. Or is it being a cuck like Will Smith. A drug dealing murdering rapest rapper. Who knows, all we know is things are rapidly changing.

AidsVictim · 2022-06-08T04:29:03+00:00

I don't think anyone here particularly cares whether anyone else is dating or not. In fact a lot of men are constantly promoting "MGTOW" and dropping out of society including dating. Likewise a lot of women don't really care what happens to men or if they end up 50 year old cat ladies or whatever.

So, how can we fix the perplexities and complexities of modern dating when you all can't come into solid agreement about any of the fashion statements done by any of the posters here?

You can't really. The problems with modern dating mostly have their roots in fundamental social and economic structural problems that need addressed in a political realm. You can improve you personal prospects to a degree but society is fully committed to social suicide at this point and individuals can only c*pe as best they as they can. You can't even get a large part of the population (here and in the real world) to admit there are significant problems beyond men being lazy and playing videogames or whatever, much less get them to agree on solutions.

Big_Dick_Capitalist · 2022-06-08T11:42:11+00:00

Honestly, there's nothing broken with dating. It's rough for sure if you're not in the top 10%, but the same could be said of many arenas of life.

There's nothing to be solved, we're all just going to have to keep moving.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-06-07T20:26:03+00:00

“Modern dating” isn’t a problem to be fixed.

We can all admit- smartphones/ OLD apps/economy/ Covid. Things have affected the game.

BUT

Here’s a couple things:

1) yeah the game has changed- but it’s still The Game. And that game is still YOU finding HER/HIM.

2) change is neither good or bad- it just is.

So people need to stop trying to “find a solution to things changing” and learn to adapt.

Adapt or die still applies.

DorianneGrey · 2022-06-07T20:45:00+00:00

OK, <opens mind>:

What do you feel that the genuine / valid "problems of modern dating" are? Please specify whether you are talking about actual dating / relationships or the pursuit of casual sex.

What do you feel are the actual "solutions of modern dating's problems"? Again please specify whether these solutions are for actual dating / relationships of the pursuit of casual sex.

If you can answer those questions clearly and concisely and offer rational and actionable solutions, perhaps it will spark a genuine debate.

In general (with some exceptions) the "problem" addressed by any given post seems to be that the woman / women an OP wants to have sex with, will not have sex with him and the "solution" he seems to advance is that she / they just should.

There are obviously variations etc., which seem to alternate between bemoaning women NOT having sex with them, deriding women FOR having had sex with people other than them, and obsessing about the amount of sex that their imaginary frenemy "Chad" is apparently having pretty much 24/7.

sarkington · 2022-06-07T21:03:35+00:00

I’m here to give extremely normal, boring blue pill takes and enjoy the ensuing meltdowns, thank you very much

dietwindows · 2022-06-07T21:29:59+00:00

People swallow the blue pill because they don't have the constitution for the truth, which is usually ugly. (Until you recognize this world is literally hell, then you can swallow any truth, but most people never reach that point.)

You cant fix those kinds of problems with facts and figures. Too much of it is genetic. And the few who can be woken up to reality aren't going to get there by seeing a reddit comment, they'll get there after being raped in the ass in a jailcell.

So yes, like all debate, this forum is pointless. But not necessarily for the reasons you've outlined.

relish5k · 2022-06-07T20:33:55+00:00

If your complaint is that the BPers on here have an 'ears-jammed-into-fingers' approach to modern dating and sexual dynamics, then that is probably fair. There is quite a bit of dysfunction going on, and to say otherwise is ignorant. Is that the point you're making? I'm having a hard time gauging.

On the other hand, people don't couple up because of capitalism, people couple up because it's in our social and historical DNA. For goodness sake. Pair bonding predates Adam Smith by a long shot. Not sure what point you are trying to make with that one.

ruboyuri · 2022-06-07T21:46:50+00:00

My stance is that fewer people should be dating, marrying and breeding, and will say so every time

But the whiners who don’t even bother trying or putting themselves out there? Yeah, put up or shut up

Ambassadior · 2022-06-07T21:24:47+00:00

I agree with you on many of these points and will admit that its frustrating for sure watching people be willfully ignorant and absoulutely naive.

However, its not a exclusive phenomenon to PPD for people to invalidate a truth to live a life that is more conducive to their values. Because more people are focused on outcomes of perspectives, they would rather believe a lie than to live with insights that would deter them from the outcomes they want. Most people will reject the reality if it affects their ultimate value of pair bonding, so truths that red or black pill men say here will be met with vitriol as a weapon to preserve their worldview. It's a natural reaction you cant necessarily avoid.

That affect is the entire manifestation of r/ex_trp no real arugements against TRP concepts, just a refusal to acknowledge it anymore due to the subjective outcomes of not being able to pair bond. The same thing happens here aswell. The most important thing to note is that r/TheRedPill sub actually have nauaced takes if you're looking for it, but you aren't exactly going to get pure rationality out of places that don't have that as its framework of discussion.

It's not about what is right or wrong here, its about popular opinion.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-06-07T22:52:41+00:00

There's no consensus because each of us experiences a different reality. What's true for other people may not (probably won't) be true for you and me.

sublimemongrel · 2022-06-08T00:58:32+00:00

There is no PPD god or cabal or whatever trying to coerce anyone into doing anything, let alone dating for the “consumerist economy”.

PPD is exactly what it says it is: a debate sub. The idea you’re supposed to see a lot of consensus, at least amongst the groups purposefully arguing against each other is anathema to the purpose of this sub altogether. While it’s somewhat a pleasant surprise, on occasion, when that happens, it’s not really a natural or expected result given the very nature of this sub and the people it attracts

bsmith440 · 2022-06-08T05:54:57+00:00

Is this your first day on reddit? People have made up their minds on here and come here to change other people's views to fit their own.

Most people on here have somewhat the same core realistic values in dating they just differ on the finer details.

I come here to read woman's perspective because it's interesting to see the world through the opposite gender's view.

Yuo_cna_Raed_Tihs · 2022-06-08T08:24:21+00:00

r/titlegore

Gravel_Roads · 2022-06-08T09:52:28+00:00

There's many different types of people on this sub, and they all use it for different reasons.

Some people here struggle with dating (both men and women), and they talk about what they struggle with. Some people have gotten through the hard part and figured out what worked for them, and they talk about what worked for them. Some people never struggled and they talk about how they never struggled.

This doesn't mean "lack of consensus", the diversity of opinion is literally the "lesson" you learn here - that different people struggle with different things, and everyone assumes their own problems are the same problems everyone is dealing with.

To still coerce people into dating for the sake of dating

Whut. This is like saying "GOD, every time I read a cooking magazine, I feel like I'm being coerced into cooking!" The pillosphere literally revolves around dating. If you don't want to date, I've never seen anyone on this sub say you had to. But it's where people talk about dating and how to do it. No one is forcing you to read or apply anything here.

To victim blame the OP, but not actually focus on the broader issues again that pertain to modern dating

Calling it "victim blaming" says a lot more about you than anyone else. You aren't a "victim" just because you can't get a date, and it's just a fact that most of the time, the reason a person can't get a date is because of something they are doing. It's not victim blaming to say "this is happening as a result of what you have been doing."

To be contrarian for the sake of being contrarian

How do you know they're being contrary? Do you think secretly, they actually agree and are only pretending to disagree?

So, how can we fix the perplexities and complexities of modern dating when you all can't come into solid agreement about any of the fashion statements done by any of the posters here?

By recognizing that there is no one single, solid fix. Different people struggle with different problems. There is no "solid agreement" because what would fix one problem would exacerbate a different problem.

Accomplished-Froyo85 · 2022-06-08T13:00:10+00:00

Fix it by having actual self awareness of shitty double standards

wtknight · 2022-06-07T20:42:08+00:00

I don’t see any of that here at all. Most of the debates here are about women arguing most men aren’t valuable enough for sex or relationships and most men arguing most women are only worth sex but not relationships. I don’t see most people telling anyone to date at all.

a-glass-brightly · 2022-06-07T23:12:49+00:00

“PPD is full of nothing, but toxic forced optimists who don't want to hear genuine/valid criticisms on the behalf of modern dating or actual solutions to modern dating's problems, you all just want people to get at it dating regardless if is doing good to one's physique or not“

Are you aware that this sentence is gibberish

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JMoon33 · 2022-06-07T20:28:38+00:00

I feel a lot of people here just find it pathetic when losers blame others for their own problems.

Look dude, sure online dating sucks and some women have unrealistic standards, but you have no social skills, you can't do a single pull-up and you live paycheck to paycheck. Work on yourself first.

LowCreddit · 2022-06-07T20:35:44+00:00

Consensus rarely exists in reality. That being said, most of PPD sits on the side of TRP(somehow without misogyny).

Cookiecuttermaxy · 2022-06-07T20:48:51+00:00

Damn I guess I gotta be exposed to the darker hours yet😈

Ludens0 · 2022-06-07T22:35:18+00:00

The idea of 'it is capitalism fault' is from 1848, not modern.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-06-08T00:02:42+00:00

I'm confused. How are PPD forced optimists in any way whatsoever

lilickybitch · 2022-06-08T00:22:46+00:00

So…do you believe theres no forced pessimist opinions?

roguish_rogue · 2022-06-08T00:31:36+00:00

There is no wider solution, there is only adapting and personal solutions for individual men working to get what they want.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2022-06-08T04:52:36+00:00

This is the internet. I have the intellectual capacity and the energy to find consensus and be constructive. I'm not going to use those things here.

For a 30 second pause I make in this sub every now and then, all I have to offer is "the gun is always loaded" advice to other men. Cheap, but largely useful in most circumstances.

MarBitt · 2022-06-08T09:44:34+00:00

PPD is full of nothing, but toxic forced optimists

It is quite probable that the universe is deterministic, hence anything we think or do is based entirely on previous causes up to the origin of the universe. Thus, at the time of the creation of the universe, absolutely everything was clearly defined, including every rejection you have received from any woman.
TLDR: The whole universe is arranged so that you will inevitably be rejected by women.

Or, the universe is a chaotic, cold place without meaning. No order, justice or good. It doesn't matter what you do or don't do in datting. You will die, all who know you will die, the whole planet will perish. And all your faith, effort, thinking, whatever you do or can do in life has no meaning at all.
TLDR: Nothing matters.

Now that you've read my critique of the universe, you can start with your genuine and valid criticisms on the behalf of modern dating or actual solutions to modern dating's problems.

AelfredRex · 2022-06-08T09:45:57+00:00

There's nothing wrong with "modern dating". What's wrong are whiny little narcissists who have a compulsive need to bitch about not getting the girls they want and try to blame society for it, instead of self-analyzing and realizing they're as empty inside as a tennis ball and as shallow as a flat plane. What women would want that?

JoeRMD77 · 2022-06-08T11:06:56+00:00

Social liberalism=rugged individualism on steroids"

Assimilate or die.

I didn't ask for this type of society, I'd prefer more community than we have but it wasn't my choice - it was society's. Embrace it or die. I'm doing everything within my means to be a more attractive dating partner, which is finally starting to pay off after only 2-3 months of effort.

If a woman ghosts me because she met someone else, I don't care - hell I'll pat her on the back for removing herself from my dating pool so I can focus on the others.

You're only going to feel confident about yourself if you're doing what you need to be doing and nothing short of that.

jumpoff24 · 2022-06-08T13:53:47+00:00

I really love this post. Anytime you tell someone something that’s not popular opinion or even controversial to say, you get a sea of downvotes.

FenaPugi · 2022-06-08T16:29:08+00:00

The Thinktanks have their work cut out for them I see.

Hivemind without the mind, but hey at least you've ensured that the world is gearing up in a totally not Aryan manner!

Fucking braindead mouthpieces.

My suggestion if things go to shit? Plan in your community to target the data centres for the big thinktanks in your region.

Send a message they won't soon forget.

AdobiWanKenobi · 2022-06-08T17:13:39+00:00

lack of consensus

Yup

criticalmale · 2022-06-08T18:22:41+00:00

Some dude complains about how being 5'3 automatically gets you filtered as a dating prospect by vast majority of women out there.

The sub:
* Take a shower bro!
* Get a haircut bro!
* Just be confident bro!
* Revamp your wardrobe bro!
* Get some hobbies bro!

I find it very interesting how Redditors will fight tooth and nail about how you should never tell poor people to 'work harder', 'educate yourself more' or 'invest' because you have no concept of how difficult it is to escape the lower class and that you are privileged but then they will turn around and use the exact opposite logic with incels.

As someone that has it easy in life thanks to my genetic dice roll, it took me a while to 'get it' and I think people have a hard time with it because accepting that someone ugly has it much harder in life means accepting that the reason you have a loving partner and your life has been better has very little to do with your effort, your mentality, work ethic, etc. It has to do a with your luck more than anything else.

lilzt · 2022-06-08T23:00:34+00:00

If BP ideas was allowed then any PPD argument will be finished

IcarusKiki · 2022-06-09T01:21:13+00:00

Optimists? We on the same sub?

Gracie_777 · 2022-06-09T09:43:23+00:00

Yeah this place isn't the real world, honestly the obese 25 year old guy who live with his parents next door to me has a pretty nice girlfriend he's been dating for about 4 years now.

A lot of the unhappy men on this forum have much bigger problems than dating. There minds are broken for a start.

sosayeth · 2022-06-08T11:57:32+00:00

relationships are good for a consumerist economy

I disagree with this part. Single people are more miserable and more prone to fill the void of relationship with material things and ExPeRiEnCeS.

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