Are most men with women that they are not physically attracted to?

BrofLong · 2022-10-25T12:13:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-10-25T13:07:46+00:00

eventually

Opening_Pattern_301 · 2022-10-25T17:17:36+00:00

a considerable amount do, men cant not only compromise on physical standards but on personality standards too, even the most annoying bitches can still find some nice guy who can stand her, key word stand, not really love her but just stand her, women already know men can sleep with women they dislike, guess what? it is the same for relationships, men have no problem staying years on a relationship with women they despise or bad lovers withouth any actual reason to stay, completely opposite to women, doesnt means all men do, but all men are capable of it, the only ones who dont are the ones who refuse to compromise. IE the reason it is missbelieved that men find women more attractive on average, reality is that men have no problem settling with women they consider unnattractive or not as attractive as they would like, physically and personality wise.

Salad-undressing · 2022-10-25T12:27:43+00:00

I’ve dated plenty of women I wasn’t “attracted” to, because the totality of a relationship isn’t just about getting your dick wet.

Her personality is what I’m attracted to. No matter how “hot” a woman is I can’t stand a c*nt and am not willing to put up with it for even a ONS.

There’s a high correlation between high attraction and high c*nt traits.

Where men and women fail, if women chase a meme-who-cannot-be-named, who is a cnt, and guys chase a meme-who-can’t-be-named who is also a cnt.

So they have unhappy relationships. I have happy ones, so it’s not a problem.

Gravel_Roads · 2022-10-25T14:01:02+00:00

I think a many relationships hinge on liking one another as people more than you just like staring blankly at one another's pretty faces, or there'd be no cute old married couples.

Though when you're in love with someone, it's astounding what you find yourself attracted to. Prior to having any relationships, I would have thought I liked standard magazine-model types like everyone else... then I got a few girlfriends (and boyfriends, lol, I'm bi), and I acclimated to their individual body types and I realized no, I find a lot of diverse body types sexy. I just needed my mind opened to it by having positive experiences with those types of bodies.

dj29272j2owj3 · 2022-10-25T12:27:57+00:00

Don't date women your not attracted to. Focus on being more attractive yourself, or be alone. Those are your options.

-jdtx- · 2022-10-25T15:20:21+00:00

A pattern that I've noticed as I've gotten older is every new relationship is with someone even more fat, ugly, and promiscuous than the last one. Meanwhile, I'm significantly LESS fat (still room for improvement) than I used to be and significantly more wealthy. I'm not too hard on the eyes either (maybe a 7 in the face, definitely not ugly, but I am pretty short).

Basically as I've gotten older, I've put a lot of effort into getting better, improving what I bring to the table. But what I've been getting in return has only been getting worse.

On the topic of looks.. I've found I'm actually quite flexible about that. Yes, I would "prefer" someone who didn't weigh a lot more than me, and someone who was more objectively beautiful. But the thing is, if I like them as a person and they are good to me, it gets easier to overlook that stuff. Easier to find them beautiful in their own ways. I always look for the silver lining and find things to love and admire about them if they're willing to do the same for me.

Ultimately, I care way more about how promiscuous and unfaithful she is (and her drinking habits), than looks. Unfortunately, another pattern seems to be that these "less desirable" women are extra promiscuous and unfaithful because they are eternally starved for male validation, and getting it from me alone is never enough. Maybe it's the same with the hotties too? I couldn't say, as they're not the ones who ever take an interest in me. Not in the past 20 years.

So my options appear to be "settle for fat ugly 'reformed drunken party girls' who still end up cheating on me" OR "die alone watching porn". These are the only options that seem available to me, and I just see more of my self-worth chip away each time I turn out not to be "good enough" for someone who arguably shouldn't have been good enough for me to begin with. But it's not like anyone else wanted me. Oh man, I'm just really unraveling here aren't I?

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-10-25T13:25:44+00:00

I don’t know anyone who wasn’t at least attracted to this partner when they first got together. And the ones that are in love could list off the reasons they like the person they are with.

The world isn’t a dystopian realm where only the good looking Chads have a chance at getting a partner, only they are too busy going from girl to girl to settle for one: leaving everyone out of luck. That just stupid.

250umdfail · 2022-10-25T14:58:51+00:00

No, but most men are married to the first woman they found decently attractive, who also happens to like them back.

"Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like sh*t, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work."

2022-10-25T18:03:19+00:00

I think the problem with a lot of men here is actually that they have ‘particularly’ overblown standards considering their own level of attractiveness. Most general public men don’t tend to have that, they probably find a decent proportion of women attractive. So that’s why I think manosphere guys are being given that advice, because their standards for beauty or preferred traits (and certainly as I have interpreted it since I’ve been browsing this sub) are so narrow.

I’m sure I’ll get plenty of guys saying well yeah women are the same. Yeah maybe they are, but the difference is they can afford to be. You, my guys, can’t.

DumbWordsmith · 2022-10-25T12:25:41+00:00

Maybe if the man is a sub 5 facially?

I'm in my 30s and I've never been physically attracted to a woman who was into me.

I've been in love with a woman who wasn't conventionally attractive.

I'm ugly AF, though, so I can only speak for myself.

ApprehensiveAd100000 · 2022-10-25T17:54:35+00:00

Correct me if I’m wrong , but don’t you become more and more attracted to someone whom you truly love

Few_Ratio5835 · 2022-10-25T20:52:24+00:00

I would say most men find their wife somewhat attractive at least.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-10-25T13:31:15+00:00

I think a lot of women are attractive in their 20s when their fat placement works out for them. Then as they age to their 30s, they don't exercise or eat healthy and become pudding. During this time, they could've been in a relationship, and their boyfriends/husbands may or may not be attracted to them. But this is not how their relationship started.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-10-25T15:14:04+00:00

I would say no. Not all men are told to lower their standards, just ones who fail consistently with women they want.

GhostofCamus · 2022-10-25T12:46:33+00:00

I've dated a woman that most would consider ugly. We connected a lot before I saw her, so I didn't truly see the "flaws". I just knew she was not fat, very witty, gave worshipful blowjobs, and loved me. Eventually I figured out that just because she's nice to me doesn't mean she's a nice person though. That made the veil fall, and I couldn't be attracted to her anymore. I think if she were pretty I might have forgiven her poor character though.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-10-25T15:11:08+00:00

I'd say most men are with women who aren't their first choice.

Meihuajiancai · 2022-10-25T16:36:43+00:00

How does the song go?

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, you'd better make an ugly woman your wife

2022-10-25T18:08:13+00:00

Many do, but they end in divorce and break up.

Personally i cant, cuz i see zero point and its a waste of everyones time.

Ive had situations where a girl im 100% not into, is really into me and im just like "uhhhh yeah-no, ur cool but im just not into you". Plus i dont wanna lead anyone on

2022-10-25T19:09:31+00:00

I've dated someone who was incredibly hot in the first 12 months of us seeing each other, and as they got into school, it seemingly crumbled. Poor posture, weight gain, stress, life, etc. I realize sexual attraction is temporary, and is not always going to be at its height. A woman's body changes very similar to a man.

LetSuitable5665 · 2022-10-25T22:50:36+00:00

So many men today are dropping their standards just to stop being lonely. It’s sad really, humans need to have good connections with people in order to live a fulfilling life. Science has proved this. Dying alone ain’t a weekend retreat.

bunnakay · 2022-10-26T02:53:58+00:00

When I was single, this was one of my biggest fears and part of the reason why I avoided men who seemed desperate to fuck. I don't need to be the hottest or best he's ever had, but I refuse to be settled for.

y2kjanelle · 2022-10-25T16:42:48+00:00

The MO dating advice is wrong and damaging.

Men are struggling because their social skills are really really bad. Women are naturally and societally more social people. Men should cater to that instead of making fun of it.

The men who do the best with women aren’t always chads. They’re men who know how to make women swoon and feel special and seen and understood. They’re the men who worked to have charm and charisma and humor.

Most men who struggle with women do not have any of these things.

2022-10-25T13:37:42+00:00

No, I have 0 interest in being with a woman I don't find attractive, sexually or romantically

EnteFetz · 2022-10-25T19:34:40+00:00

I recently showed a good friend of mine a photo of the girl I am currently seeing and he straight up told me that she is ugly as hell.

I know that she is not pretty, but she is all I can get. If I have the choice between my hand and her, I am obviously going to choose her.

I am not going to marry her, but why would I not sleep with her, if she wants to sleep with me and I don't have any other options?

SolidPuzzleheaded984 · 2022-10-25T16:40:22+00:00

Majority of men are with women that are less attractive than them.

I notice this becoming more common among the younger generation.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-10-25T15:22:01+00:00

There's 3 states: not attracted to, attracted to, and neutral.

I've had women go from the "meh", didn't notice at first, neutral category to the "very attracted to" category.

But never the "not attracted to" to another category.

abaxeron · 2022-10-25T16:07:20+00:00

Are most men with women that they are not physically attracted to?

At some level, to some extent. "Show me a beautiful woman, I'll show you a man who's tired of fucking her. "

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-10-25T17:00:46+00:00

I won't say most the threshold for attractiveness is different for men and women but I think most people in the world settle in their relationships regardless, I'm not going to go as far as to say not physically attractive but I think most men when it comes to their women are probably in the "she's good enough" phase, maybe she's a three with some good tits while being a good mother, or a four with a good personality and a nice enough ass but for a man just complete lack of physical attraction is not going to work

LowCreddit · 2022-10-25T19:58:42+00:00

I don't think so. I have had sex with just about every kind of woman there is and had no problems. You might have testosterone issues. I would go see a doctor.

beleidigtewurst · 2022-10-25T13:34:25+00:00

Physical attraction isn't constant even when looks do not change.

But for most people, with rare exceptions, looks get drastically worse over time.

So...

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-10-25T15:58:37+00:00

Most of the time men won’t date (date, not hook up with) a woman they aren’t at least somewhat physically attracted to at first. But I’d guess most lose attraction to their partners as they get older, and just stick around out of convenience and apathy, it seems.

koolex · 2022-10-25T16:05:09+00:00

If your standards are too high you could self improve until those kind of women like you back.

You probably should not pursue women you don't find physically attractive.

Peacesquad · 2022-10-25T17:19:05+00:00

Most men take what they can get. That doesn’t necessarily mean they date unattractive women(unobjective attractiveness is subjective of course)

learn2earn89 · 2022-10-25T19:46:04+00:00

Most people rightly are slaves to biology and will compromise but some of us just don't care that much. It has to feel right. We just don't feel strong attraction to most people. Like I love hot girls but I don't want a hot girl who I have no in with. I hate ugly girls so have no time to be with one. Everyone is different. Some people are more stubborn and selective. Some peopl3 just want to be loved at all costs.

CrystalExarch1979 · 2022-10-25T23:12:17+00:00

I am currently dating/ in a relationship, with a woman to whom I am not attracted. We met through Bumble. She is attracted to and has feelings for me, which is a problem. We had a disagreement some time ago and I tried to extricate myself from the relationship to no avail. You may ask, if you're not attracted to her why are you still dating? Well, at the moment, I have no other romantic prospects (none of the ladies I really like on Bumble like me back), she's company and it beats being lonely all the time. The sex is mediocre but at least I'm using my tool, which beats using the hand. Lookswise she is not pretty at all, though she is good, intelligent and kind. I know, however, sooner or later it will end because I would end up resenting her and myself for settling.

Jared35 · 2022-10-25T13:00:15+00:00

I’d say no. Every girl I have attempted to ask I was attracted to her. Because if your not attracted to her it wouldn’t work from the start right?

domdomdom333 · 2022-10-25T13:53:03+00:00

Don't drop your standards as more often than not they're not unrealistic of the average man and most of the time just gaslighting and guilttripping into lowering what you think you deserve.

And no, I don't know a single man who's married or dates a single woman that I myself see as ugly. There's only one guy who's married to a, "beefy" woman but it's understandable, she's got the heart of an angel. Years of history and emotional attachment, he sees past that.

youarockandnothing · 2022-10-25T14:54:36+00:00

What? It's few men if you're talking about actual LTRs. Getting into an LTR takes a lot of effort and most men aren't going to go through that for a woman who doesn't make their dick hard.

WideAwake550 · 2022-10-25T15:23:05+00:00

Nah. I just can't do it.

And I doubt most men are like that unless they're flat broke and need a place to stay.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-10-25T15:36:02+00:00

Has to be the autism then. Sorry.

No, most couples are attracted to eachother, at least, until one gets fat or lazy after marriage etc.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-10-25T15:45:39+00:00

Cant say for others. I had to practice dating to get better to be better positioned to date attractive girls, so mostly dated women i wasn't attracted to.

But what is attraction? Enough to get my dick hard? Or enough for me to be happy committed to them?

hallcyon11 · 2022-10-25T15:48:53+00:00

Yes you have to progressive lower your standards until you start getting dates or be happy alone. Attraction is mainly objective, which means that most men that are average and below will only get dates with women that they are, at best, mildly attracted to.

2022-10-25T15:49:28+00:00

Hell no

kenshn1 · 2022-10-25T15:55:18+00:00

Sounds like either low self esteem or unrealistic expectations.

Men for the most part have most of the power in long term commitments like dating while women have most of the power in short term hookups.

So if you're dating a woman you don't like or aren't attracted to you're selling yourself very short and need to work on your self esteem or narcissism.

cloudsongs_ · 2022-10-26T02:19:31+00:00

I don’t think so. You’d also be surprised what having a crush on someone or falling in love with someone can do to that person’s perception of the other person. Your skin is going to sag and wrinkle and you’ll become ugly in western society’s standards but the person in love with you will keep loving you and wouldn’t want to imagine a world without you

Playful_Attempt_822 · 2022-10-25T17:07:31+00:00

This may well be the case. I know many girls who are with guys they don’t fancy very much and I know some guys who are kind of meh about their girl but that’s what’s there right now. Granted, they’re not the hottest ones themselves. Hot people just have more options. The good part is: when you’re young it’s not too hard to become hotter. If you don’t find people in your own league attractive, try to up your league. Hit the gym, lose fat, get some sunshine in, swap those old sweaters for something more updated (women mostly do notice style more than men do) and have fun. It worked for me, it will work for you.

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Faustseeker · 2022-10-25T12:14:57+00:00

2022-10-25T16:58:29+00:00

Women physically aren't very attractive to me ,,it's only the hole that does it. Otherwise I don't think most women have enough gravity to keep me attached. And age affects them heavily in my experience. So very few women are out there who can keep their charm for say an year.

Puppet33 · 2022-10-25T18:43:01+00:00

oddball667 · 2022-10-25T19:06:23+00:00

I tried that, I realized it was pointless to try and be with someone I'm not attracted to

M_LaSalle · 2022-10-25T19:41:52+00:00

The answer to OP's question is probably yes. Most of the women I see on the street are unattractive due to some combination of obesity and poor dress and grooming. I shall doubtless be told that my standards are too high, but I suspect that they are those of the average male. So I suppose a thirsty enough man will fuck even the women that I typically see in the supermarket. Poor fellows.

RanjuMaric · 2022-10-25T20:11:13+00:00

Nah, my wife’s hot af

bearsfan231 · 2022-10-25T20:11:35+00:00

Lol duh

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2022-10-25T20:33:49+00:00

Sounds like your listing to feminists propaganda.

In your opinion from this chart what would you rate your self vs the woman you find attractive?

https://ibb.co/yh3fN0m

https://ibb.co/sKXvRn3

SHEPHERDofPPL · 2022-10-25T20:56:36+00:00

I think I’m gonna be a monk now after reading this

learn2earn89 · 2022-10-25T20:58:40+00:00

Im a woman and maybe your hormones are more in tune with a woman’s hormones. I’m not saying this to be mean, I say this because I consider myself below average in looks (I’m a woman) and I don’t get interest from any guys I’m into. I only get interest from fat guys or men in their 50s. I was told I was cute by younger men, but not enough for them to want to date me. Who I’m attracted to has no bearing on who I find attractive.

Magnito-was-right · 2022-10-25T21:34:27+00:00

The way you feel about the unattractive girls you date, is the way the pretty girls who reject you feel about you.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-10-26T00:40:33+00:00

No they are attracted, but also attracted to other women.

2022-10-26T01:10:10+00:00

Maybe I don’t get the nuance. I’m currently in the process of being diagnosed with autism, so maybe I just really am not getting it.

70% of autistic men, don't even get 1 relationship in a lifetime.

I don't think that you should be extrapolating your experiences as a representation of "most men", because that's a huge number and outlier.

If you are autistic, then you can not take your experiences and make gendered conclusions about them anymore. You have NO idea what's because of the autism or people responding to the autism and what's gendered.

2022-10-26T03:29:37+00:00

Freevoulous · 2022-10-26T09:54:45+00:00

Yes, and so do most women. Both genders want someone more attractive than they are, butultimately fail at gettign them, and mutually "settle" for their near-equal.

This does not mean they are not happy. Most of such ugly couples have active sex lives and are generally content with their "not good, but not terrible" relationships.

fayaz_mogra8 · 2022-10-26T15:08:47+00:00

Nope - you’re just being objective and logical. More specifically linear.

Ease up. I ain’t going to say man up because I feel you should rather just find a way to self learn and educate yourself the preferences of women and how you fit in. What you can offer personality wise and masculine traits that appeal, confidence etc. Is a bit more descriptive.

Then no your standards will match the hotter girls. Hypergamy works. Just don’t fall for the gynocentric society - it’s a trap. Take the lead and don’t care too much about other people’s opinions - especially women.

bsanchey · 2022-10-26T18:05:46+00:00

That’s kind of misleading and subjective. For me I find my wife attractive but I can find women more attractive. And you may not be 100 on the physical attraction but the personality of the person adds to the package. I find for me at least attraction is a scale. There’s a minimum I can accept. So maybe your just aiming for the top of your scale. Idk but don’t settle for anyone that you don’t find physically attractive at all. You won’t be happy

I’m married I find my wife attractive but I find other women attractive. Even if you find someone who hits all your attractive wants you will be attracted to other women

Title	Are most men with women that they are not physically attracted to?
Author	season457
Upvotes	48
Comments	215
Date	October 25, 2022 12:10 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/yd3a78/are_most_men_with_women_that_they_are_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-most-men-with-women-that-they-are-not.1136490 https://theredarchive.com/post/1136490

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