She told him straight and held to her ideals - a Reddit GOAT post from years ago.

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guava-cat · 2021-03-20T00:59:23+00:00

“She’s a deadbeat mom” yet pays 125% and went through the trauma of giving birth to your spawn due to you pressuring her, despite wanting an abortion. K.

Mcccy · 2021-03-20T00:50:53+00:00

The poor kid..His parent had it coming tho, what he expected exactly? She said she wouldn't be involved and she didn't want a kid and now he's mad she's actually doing what she said she WOULD do??

Jane1911 · 2021-03-20T00:55:13+00:00

That is not the definition of a “deadbeat” parent. My sons father straight up disappeared all those years ago and I haven’t heard a word or seen a cent. That’s a deadbeat parent.

This women knew what she wanted, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. He is seeing that side of the coin that many single mothers see, and he can’t handle it. Perhaps he should take a note out of the bullshit fed to many single moms about “just find a man (insert woman instead) to help you with money/chores/child rearing” 🙄

It isn’t easy is it? Nope.

Alarming-Midnight-73 · 2021-03-20T00:51:12+00:00

Please tell me the comments are roasting him. He wanted the kid, got full custody, and is even getting 125% of the court mandated child support. What more does he want?

The only person deserving of sympathy in this situation is the child. And his post isn't even about that! It's still about his "struggle as a single parent". Unbelievable.

nanofarm · 2021-03-20T01:17:09+00:00

She basically GIFTED him a free surrogacy and egg donation in addition to the child support. Now he also wants to coerce her into raising a child that she never wanted?!?

He should be blessing her every damn day- he WANTED this child and couldn’t actually gestate and birth one himself. Surrogates get $60,000 US at least. I don’t know how much eggs cost but they aren’t free either.

She risked her health and life and figure and gave up 9 months of her life, endured the many discomforts of pregnancy and the pain of child birth all for HIS BENEFIT because she respected his right to be a father and raise his own child. She gets NOTHING out of this situation, in fact it will cost her dearly for 18-21 years.

All that poor baby needs to know is that daddy wanted him very much and a REALLY kind lady let him grow in her tummy and gave birth to him so that daddy could raise him. He doesn’t actually have a mother- egg donor/surrogate is an accurate description.

This narrative of the mom abandoning him and resentment his dad has is 100000x more damaging than not having a mom. Moms die in childbirth, single men and gay men can decide to hire a surrogate and buy eggs. So many single moms go on their own and do a great job. This man isn’t special. He isn’t a martyr or a saint or a victim. He is a single parent. A bad one. He is hurting his kid with this nonsense, not the egg donor.

/rant

Ugh, this made me so mad ! I was married and on the fence about kids but my ex wanted to be a dad sooooo bad. Guess who barely sees his kid? When he does see her he fucks shit up and then disappears for 9 month or more. Such a double standard.

questcequunefemme · 2021-03-20T00:51:51+00:00

I'm glad she didn't let herself be trapped in this situation. I also hope to god he is actually doing his best at being a father, the child is innocent and doesn't deserve this bs. I have a very good male friend who is also a single parent due to a similar issue, and he is doing an amazing job with it ( granted we live in a country with good child support), so it is possible.

leadmemories · 2021-03-20T01:04:53+00:00

one of my favorite posts I remember ever reading on reddit. also was glad to see the comments rightfully ripping him to shreds.

The_Pyramidion · 2021-03-20T01:59:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

eatchickpeas · 2021-03-20T03:16:35+00:00

what he really wanted from all of this was to make her stay with him for 18 years by having the baby. men use women's children against them like this, to keep women in one place. if he really wanted the child because he wanted to raise one, he should have been DELIGHTED about the 125% child support. men leave pregnant women all the time, they never pay child support, they visit once a year (if that) and expect the mothers to forgive him when he decides he wants to be a full time father

i dont think she should have had a child in the first place, he doesnt deserve the privilege of raising a child. she gave up 9 months to grow the baby IN HER BODY. i dont think men get a say when it comes to abortions, if he wants the child and she doesnt then she has every right to an abortion

Worldly_Sell · 2021-03-20T02:56:39+00:00

I give zero fucks for men who talk about how hard it is being a single dad...welcome to being woman. Oh, you no longer have time to fuck off or hobbies? Oh, it’s not fun doing most of the household duties and emotional labor?.....NO SHIT

Platipus6 · 2021-03-20T00:52:25+00:00

The top comment is GOLD

temproaryusername · 2021-03-20T04:08:02+00:00

Men always want children until it comes time to actually raise them 🙄

hurhah · 2021-03-20T00:46:50+00:00

Wow. Serves him right. But I do feel for the son tho. I worked with foster kids and nearly every child I worked with had a deep desire or yearning for their mother, whether they knew her or not.

The_Pyramidion · 2021-03-20T03:01:40+00:00

I remember this - Let's be real here. This is just a ploy of this shitweasel to control and abuse the poor woman. Glad she isn't having none of it and he got torn to shreds.

TriniGold · 2021-03-20T05:15:39+00:00

He didn’t want a child. He wanted control over a woman.

catlady4u · 2021-03-20T01:17:34+00:00

What a selfish POS the father is. Now he has some idea of what single moms have to deal with. How is she a deadbeat parent if she pays 125% of court ordered child support? I feel bad for the child, hope he doesn't grow up ruined.

akiikaaki · 2021-03-20T00:49:39+00:00

Wouldn’t holding to her ideals have been actually getting the abortion? I don’t think this is really “goals”, I really feel for the child 😢

n3rdgir7 · 2021-03-20T03:29:54+00:00

She's a WAY better parent than my dad ever was and he sounds like a complete waste of air. I feel sorry for the kid who has to get raised by this loser

laurencetrishburn · 2021-03-20T03:51:17+00:00

What a self-righteous prude! What women are expected to do as some kind of birth right is such a perogative for men.

I feel bad for his son. He's going to grow up with an absolute loser for a father.

yfunk3 · 2021-03-20T09:13:03+00:00

This is grade A "Patriarchal Leopards Ate My Face" material.

sugaredberry · 2021-03-20T06:36:29+00:00

Omg I wish you included the replies that absolutely obliterated this psychopath. What a psycho dumbass. What does her tummy tuck and laser treatments have to do with him and his son? Nothing, that’s what. What an obsessive control freak. This is karma!

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2021-03-20T09:22:46+00:00

This enraged me!!! She’s a deadbeat mom - she never fcking wanted to be a mom!!! Plus she pays far more child support than any other man usually would! She went through the whole pregnancy and birth for HIM to have the child because he demanded her to keep the baby or made her feel guilty for wanting an abortion. She knew she didnt want this for her life but still sacrificed her body and health for HIM. What a selfish POS this guy is. This guy actually disgusts me.

barbedwiredaisycrown · 2021-03-20T03:20:43+00:00

"Like this if you cry every time!" 😂😂😂

sweet_birthday_babyy · 2021-03-20T04:45:45+00:00

Oh, how the turn tables 🙄

QueensJuju · 2021-03-20T01:24:03+00:00

Maybe i’m wrong but this sounds really fake to me. It’s definitely a wild dream to want the tables turned on men regarding child care so they stop denying what it’s like for single moms. Every women just drops the baby off at his place and says “later dude!” (of course we know how babies would suffer and probably die if this happened so this will never be a thing)

But it’s also almost like it’s a dude trying to prove some point about how men who don’t want the baby should be able to walk, even if they “made one”, since the women could terminate the pregnancy. They want to put all the responsibilities on her to care for it if they want to bow out, because they don’t hold the power to decided of the pregnancy continues or not. The power move they make is to be a dead beat and punish her and the child. He knows women will defend her actions because she told him up front, and he’s trying to say it’s the same as a dead beat dad.

This of course is a stupid argument any holds no water because either way a women has to endure the emotional and physical changes and possible trauma of pregnancy and birth.

2021-03-20T09:43:11+00:00

Something similar happened to a guy I knew.

He got a woman pregnant, she said she didn’t want it, she gave birth and he has full custody of the daughter.

The most dramatic thing that happened, because he lives out in Malta now (was UK) I don’t see him and this is mainly via Instagram, was how his external personality changed, I say external because outwardly he was very liberal.

Now he’s posting pro trump, anti gay, anti feminist diatribes, conspiracy theories and anti abortion junk.

He may have always had these thoughts and beliefs, but faked woke bro to seem a good guy, I don’t know, but I feel sorry for the little girl, being raised by a man like that.

CynicalSucculent · 2021-03-20T03:04:51+00:00

He really just thought that he could get away with impregnating her and making her a full time mom. He really didnt think that she'd just leave.

Somehow when women do shit like this it's bad but when men do it's normalized.

rawwwrrrgghh · 2021-03-20T10:02:05+00:00

Does he realize that so many single moms have to do exactly what he is doing - all that while fighting for every penny off child support? I‘ve never read that a man pays more than what he‘s told by a judge

islandmaiden · 2021-03-20T04:02:56+00:00

I remember reading this and I still love it. That woman is a badass for standing her ground. She could've aborted it without caring about his opinion, but she didn't because he wanted the child. She even pays more than the required child custody, she didn't have to if she wasn't forced to birth a child but she still does. How is that a deadbeat? Deadbeats are people who leave their families and don't contribute child support. She's far from that. This man is just angry he didn't get the family he wanted at the expense of the woman. He wouldn't be in that situation if he let her abort it. Hell, they weren't even in a serious relationship! What did he expect?

Mind-Objective · 2021-03-20T04:35:41+00:00

I remember this one: an oldie but a goodie

aquietsword · 2021-03-20T06:23:39+00:00

What a sad, pathetic man. He sounds like a terrible role model for a child and yet he insisted on keeping the child because of his ego. Probably thought she would be around to do all the work since men are so used to getting their way.

sikulet · 2021-03-20T07:02:23+00:00

Abortion will be legal when the default option is based on dads raising kids of unwed mothers. Basic economics and power relations right here.

2021-03-20T13:42:20+00:00

Lmao I love how he had to add in that she got a tummy tuck, laser stretch mark removal and works...in a gym! The audacity! How evil of her? Like what was even the point of that...

It's almost as if LVM want to trap women with babies by lowering our self esteem and burdening us with financial vulnerability as a primary caregiver performing unpaid labor.

He really wanted to see this woman broken, scarred, fat, unconfident slaving away in his house while he gets to do as he pleases. How dare she not submit?

Ladies, take notes.

Also "deadbeat mom" when she pays 125% of child support yet when men pay the average $300 a month child support in the US reddit males and pickmes will jump down your throat calling you entitled for wanting more than that.

rsoko2 · 2021-03-20T12:09:35+00:00

I don't see this as particularly empowering for the woman in this story, however I do see it as a testament to what single moms have to endure and still get treated like garbage by men.

It just really goes to show that when a man ends up in this situation he is applauded whereas with women it's considered "normal" at best or she's viewed as trash, a slut, etc at worst.

It absolutely blows my fucking mind how many "pro-life" men absolutely HATE single moms. If you genuinely take the pro-life argument because you have religious values or care about the baby then that's one thing. But if that were true, you would respect single mothers for what they've gone through to birth and raise that innocent child.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-03-20T14:51:22+00:00

Deadbeats pay 125% of child support? Oh happy day!

CuddlyKitty · 2021-03-20T10:15:27+00:00

Zero sympathy for him, honestly. My dad took over sole custody of all 4 of us - my two brothers and sister - and raised us with zero child support from my mother. Oh, and, my sister wasn't even a year old. He wanted this baby, not her, and she's paying more than her share of child support. How dare this low-life slander her by calling her a "dead-beat". The audacity of some men never ceases to amaze me. And not in a good way, either.

ItsFreezen · 2021-03-20T11:52:19+00:00

She's not a deadbeat mom loser.

IllTill3859 · 2021-03-20T09:20:53+00:00

This is fake. If I got pregnant and I didn’t want the baby, I know what I would do. My body, my choice.

QueensJuju · 2021-03-20T01:15:48+00:00

Can you share what subreddit this was posted to?

ariaa126 · 2021-03-20T11:57:58+00:00

The comments were satisfying to read. He couldn’t trap her and was upset she was living her life while he was stuck with a child he forced her to have boohoo

Risoa · 2021-03-20T12:45:41+00:00

A "deadbeat mom" but she's paying "125%" of child support...he is so stupid. More proof that children can easily be a manipulation and control tactic. Good for her for stating her boundaries and sticking to them.

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2021-03-20T19:33:59+00:00

Can you imagine what Reddit would do if a woman wrote this post? She would be ripped to shreds "hE tOlD u He DidN'T WANT a BabY!"

carolinagq24 · 2021-03-21T00:39:34+00:00

I guess he should have “chosen better” and he wouldn’t be a single dad 😂 that’s what they tell single moms when the dad leaves them 🤷‍♀️

Thesseli · 2021-03-21T00:42:39+00:00

Ten bucks says this loser's parents will be raising the kid as the loser's "brother" in a few years.

Spraytyasha · 2021-03-20T09:20:06+00:00

Oh how the tables turn! Love that she stuck to her word and didn't get emotionally manipulated into raising a child she didn't even want to birth. Also, I know for a fact, if she had taken split custody of the child, she'd be the one doing all the parenting rn while he drops in every few months with gifts and emotional trauma. Dude, you wanted the child, you raise it. ✌🏽

the-worst- · 2021-03-20T12:26:24+00:00

If he didn't want to be a single parent, and she made it clear she wouldn't be involved... Why is he suprised she isn't forced to do 50/50? Even a man wouldn't be forced to do 50/50 in that case.

waddamelone · 2021-03-20T13:28:34+00:00

What does her having a tummy tuck and working out have to do with the whole situation? He wanted to force her into motherhood so she could take care of the baby and he could be the “fun” dad. Too bad she outsmarted him. Boohoo, so sad that he’s burnt out. 🙄

hyperjinxx · 2021-03-20T14:31:44+00:00

Deadbeat mom? No. She Relinquished her rights to be a mom because she didn’t WANT to be a mom. She was forced to have this child BY YOU and your fee fees hurt because you’re tired? What did you think was going to happen? She’d have the baby and change her mind??? This was FOR YOU and you’re STILL complaining.

Congratulations you played yourself.

duhyaan · 2021-03-20T19:02:38+00:00

He can’t call her a deadbeat mom when she didn’t want to have the child in the first place? Lmao men are trash

PasDeTout · 2021-03-20T20:47:48+00:00

Literally millions of women are in this situation with no money from daddy coming in and they don’t whine like this.

Champagne_bitch · 2021-03-21T01:53:23+00:00

How is she a deadbeat mother? She paid over 100% of the child fucking support while men almost never paid child support, or worse whining about child support smh. 🙄

IllTill3859 · 2021-03-20T09:21:08+00:00

This sounds fake

ChrisLovesStocks · 2021-03-20T01:16:16+00:00

She is my hero. I would love to meet this woman.

merlinsmoon · 2021-06-01T18:28:51+00:00

Queen. And she is absolutely NOT a deadbeat mother. She’s done more than any deadbeat father I will ever come across by paying 125% child support alone. Good for her and f*ck this guy for trying (and failing) to make her look bad. Shit father.

Denimiaa · 2021-03-20T22:24:48+00:00

Why was adoption not brought up?

healar · 2021-03-20T11:31:01+00:00

I’m not sure she stuck to her ideals when she wanted an abortion initially. IMO if she didn’t want to have anything to do with the baby she really should have followed through with the abortion.

Title	She told him straight and held to her ideals - a Reddit GOAT post from years ago.
Author	CoconutJasmineBombe
Upvotes	808
Comments	119
Date	March 20, 2021 12:39 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m8vi1z/she_told_him_straight_and_held_to_her_ideals_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/she-told-him-straight-and-held-to-her-ideals-a.1190427 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190427

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