Because the gauntlet is insane.

You swipe on a girl. Shes not “traditionally hot” but you find her attractive. She looks natural, chill, easy going, like a normal girl who doesn’t overeat, isn’t crazy obsessed with taking the perfect selfie and maybe has a few nice pics of her with her dog on a hike and laughing with her family at her grandmas birthday BBQ. A wholesome looking girl next door, not the sort of girl EVERY guy would find attractive but you do, the kinda girl you’d maybe envisioned you’d end up with.

So you swipe right and BOOM she’s matched with you, great.

Now you’re lucky enough to be one of the hundred guys she has in her stack, and the 10th of the day, unbeknownst to you.

You say hello. Congrats, you’re in the top 3rd of her matches she even says hi back to, as opposed to the curiosity swipes and validation swipes she almost instantly regrets or feels apathetic towards upon matching with.

So you chat a bit, and by golly somehow are proactive and interesting and chill enough to set up a date. Well done, you’re now in the top 5 percent of her matches who she agrees to meet with.

What’s that, day of the date arrives and no ghosting or flake? Amazing, you’re in the top 3 percent, or maybe even 2. She’ll see you on Friday! (You suggested Saturday but she can’t because she’s seeing a friend.)

So you meet up, manage not to freeze up or be boring or weird her out. She even laughs a little, and was that flirting? Maybe there’s chemistry here… she checks her phone a bit more than you feel is polite and puts it face down on the table but hey, you’ve only just met, it’s 2023, people check their phones.

You leave and try not to get too excited. You’ve been debating whether to text her….no…you’ll leave it a day or two.

Sunday morning comes, you decide to text her.

“Hey, enjoyed friday, we should do it again. When are you free?”

Then nothing. And it’s either nothing forever, or, a text hours or days later. Shes been hella busy, or something. She either says that she had fun but feels you’re better as friends, or that she wasn’t feeling it.

Oh, okay. Cue sinking feeling in your stomach.

Saturday nights meeting with her “friend” was simply more exciting for her….UNLESS you ARE literally the BEST POSSIBLE GUY she matched with, in which case, amazing! Well done! She’s texting YOU asking to hang out!

But the kicker here is so are a lot of girls….so you agree to see her again, maybe, for a few weeks, keeping her tied up on you until boredom or another girls takes priority.

This is why online dating is so “hard”. Its like lining up every local man in a line and asking women to pick, without anyone knowing who is picking who. Suffice to say, there is some crossover lol, and the “nice girlfriend material girl” who you thought was in your league? Well, the best players are picking her back, but not for long.