I have been seeing a lot of posts regarding men not wanting to pay for dates, after consideration I think there are certain conditions that would need to change. If women are expected to pay to compete for your attention but you not theirs, that is not equality.

1) Men have an undeniable preference for women who wear make up. Curling my hair is cheap, make up is not ($100 a month), and the prices are raising. Even men who say they don’t like make up they unknowingly praise us for wearing it contributing to our usage of it. Men need to have a genuine preference for women who don’t wear make up. If I chose not to wear it my value on the sexual marketplace is lessened and thus it’s a cost I have to pay to compete. Like men might have to pay a cost to compete such as paying for dates.

2) Another costly preference: women on birth control. With health insurance the pills are technically cheaper, but with the monthly cost of the insurance it is cheaper for me to get them at planned parenthood for $500 for 1.5 years supply. You have to be willing to wear condoms every time with everyone and come prepared.

3) Skincare is also expensive but it seems to be important to men on the PPD that women maintain a youthful appearance. My routine is roughly $69-$79 monthly.

4) Woman are not penalized (being considered undatable, useless or difficult) for taking on a more masculine role to survive. Assertiveness isn’t seen as difficult it’s a tactic that has served us by lessening getting taken advantage of. I can be a respectful person and assertive those things can co-exist. Stop encouraging women to be nice and pleasant all the time. This doesn’t have a financial cost but I keep seeing a preference for “feminine” women but under an equal system that can’t work.

If men don’t want to pay for dates then that is their decision but there is cost to women competing for your attention should you not accept cost to compete for theirs? That seems like equality to me, unless men are willing to compromise on women’s make up usage, maintaining a youthful appearance, being proactive about wearing condoms (coming prepared and not having to be told) and not preferring women who are doormats.

Edit: thread where I get called a fat, skank & whore for having an opinion by misogynists. Really hope yall can find a way to have some control over your lives without hurling unprompted insults at randoms online. Thanks to everyone (most of you who actually responded in good faith).