How come so many guys do not want to go to clubs to get women, even though that is the easiest option?

Independent-Mail-227 · 2024-03-27T00:28:56+00:00

Because it is not the easiest option, have you even been to a club in 2023?

It's a sausage party, the loud music kill any convo you could be what basically means that everything is your looks and paying for someone drinks is like paying to be a clown.

It also don't magically kill the options the girl has in her dms. Clubbing is basically paying for the chance to pay even more.

Bars are places you go with peoples you meet, not places to meet peoples.

Handsome_Goose · 2024-03-27T00:18:03+00:00

Music sucks, drinks are expensive, single women sit grumpy at the bar waiting to be treated.

Every club I've visited sucked ass as was the last place I wanted to be at.

Scooternator · 2024-03-27T00:25:28+00:00

Because not every guy is looking for the type of girl who goes to the club.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-03-27T00:26:23+00:00

Well you have 2 different camps:

Guys who are looking for a girlfriend, they wouldn't want to select from women who are out having casual sex.
Guys who are looking for casual sex. Now if you're looking for casual sex and sufficiently attractive, clubbing is a good option.

neinhaltchad · 2024-03-27T00:57:06+00:00

lol @ this notion.

Clubs are actually worse than OLD.

Clubs are good for 3 types of men:

DJ’s
Celebrities
Men who look like male models

Any guy who isn’t one of those is going to have a terrible time at clubs in 2024.

Pre-Covid, it was bad enough but post covid, anybody who has been out knows that clubs have turned into a weird game of “poppin bottles” where you either pay hundreds or more for a “VIP” area or stand around like an idiot since basically all standard seating is gone.

By far the best places to pull this are local bars and special events like “trivia nights” etc because conversations can actually be had in addition to the consumption of alcohol.

If you want to know what every club is like, Louis CK explained it perfectly years ago.

https://youtu.be/eSlgdvKaO4A?si=UffG28mpgMEu360S

spanglesandbambi · 2024-03-27T00:29:20+00:00

Because some people don't like clubs and their entertainment choices don't revolve around picking people up.

East_Writer_2892 · 2024-03-27T00:46:15+00:00

You need a high level of sociability, You need to be able to at least attempt to dance, and you need to preferably have a couple of friends (I've gone out alone but it's a lot more work than it's worth). I have all 3 so clubs are a good time whether I pick up a girl or not. If I didn't I wouldn't set foot in them.

The average dude on this sub lacks all three. That and some people don't like the club scene. I have met some great girls at the club, but I'm also a guy who fits with a club/party girl so it would make sense we'd get along.

Hubris1998 · 2024-03-27T00:24:17+00:00

Because it's an awful environment. Clubs give me instant headaches.

NockerJoe · 2024-03-27T00:40:17+00:00

I'm not gonna say I've never been clubbing but IMO a lot of women either have an idea of what they want(if anything) before going out or else they're already out with a partner. The number of women who're down to link up with a stranger who doesn't fit a very specific idea in their heads has never struck me as super large. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it happens in a place where you gotta pay a cover charge and drinks are twice as much as a lot of regular bars. If you're the type of person that enjoys casual conversation a nightclub will also kill that vibe, because the music is usually played too loud to talk in as well.

MaterialTemperature9 · 2024-03-27T00:46:51+00:00

Just read the cockblocking thread... Clubs were often not that great because the girls come in a big group and weren't splitting off. I had better luck in smaller bars.

Southern_Fall983 · 2024-03-27T00:55:55+00:00

There’s a whole bunch of other crap you have to deal with. Shit tests, friends, logistics etc. it’s pick your poison, and no option is really all that appealing

AlmostKindaGreat · 2024-03-27T00:35:01+00:00

What I've observed at the club:

Hot guys who can get women anywhere clean up
Guys who are almost hot can sometimes get lucky with a drunk woman who lowers her standards a bit
Guys who are not attractive go home alone

So yeah, if you're a little above average or maybe even average you can increase your chances somewhat. For nobody else does it really offer a big benefit. As far as I can tell most women who get sloppy and hook up with random guys from clubs are doing it while in college too, so outside of that age group you're not going to have much increased opportunity.

I dunno. That's just what I've seen. I also think if this were so easy then all of the losers would be doing it.

MikeArrow · 2024-03-27T00:25:35+00:00

I don't drink.

I don't dance.

I don't have any friends.

So in reality, if I rolled up to a club I'd be a fat neckbeard, by myself, not doing much of anything except feeling incredibly awkward and out of place.

grown_folks_talkin · 2024-03-27T00:33:58+00:00

Clubs have never been good options for meeting women for me unless I had a Chaddish buddy who is also super extroverted and stylish.

After a certain time of night they’re just sausage fests, like 3 hours before closing time that’s about it.

Odd-Luck7658 · 2024-03-27T00:40:33+00:00

What are you likely to have in common with a 'club woman'?

Raii-v2 · 2024-03-27T01:31:38+00:00

Clubs suck and the women there are generally stuck up ( or just there to dance with her friends)

Filmguy000 · 2024-03-27T01:35:44+00:00

Because it's not the easiest option.

dirty_cheeser · 2024-03-27T03:21:59+00:00

I have a quiet voice and tend to be shy in crowded places. I get girls interested in me with good conversations. The few times I talked to girls in clubs, we couldn't hear each other and nothing happened. Just not my scene.

toasterchild · 2024-03-27T00:57:45+00:00

I'd assume that some men feel as I do, clubs are a living hellscape full or the worst sorts of people.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2024-03-27T01:13:05+00:00

I used to go and still occasionally go to clubs with friends. If I meet someone I meet someone. However if you are actively on the scene to pick up a mate for the night, your chances are slim.

The club is real life tinder. You get accessed within 15 seconds of looks, wealth, social standing, and if you can make a conversation happen. 99% of men in here won’t be successful. Please note this was pre tinder, pre the emergence of online dating, only thing you had was Facebook.

Most of the time if you are successful at making people laugh and smile and have a good time at the club you get a hookup, or exchange contact info and get a date/hookup another night.

I have more success at intellectual places, lounges, environments where I can actually have a conversation with someone and flirt, get contact info, etc.

blarginfajiblenochib · 2024-03-27T01:16:59+00:00

It’s only a good option if you know how to navigate the bar/club scene, but for anyone who is more introverted/intellectual and prefers to have actual conversation (whereas loud music drowns out most possibilities of that), it’s not ideal.

Those people would instead do best socializing with people who enjoy the same hobbies as them, whatever they may be, and trying to meet people organically that way. Neither approach is an absolute guaranteed way of meeting someone but they greatly increase your chances if you also have self awareness.

y2kjanelle · 2024-03-27T01:37:47+00:00

For one it is pretty expensive. But I think a lot of people also just don’t want to admit they’re very bad socially or just are very antisocial (or don’t know they’re antisocial).

Social skills rly truly do not come easy to like millions of people especially nowadays. People just think they can act however or do whatever and ppl will just come to them and be their friend or partner.

No it takes actual work. And for some it comes easier but it’s still a skill.

2024-03-27T03:34:34+00:00

I do not wish to go. It is loud, you can't talk to anyone because the music is so loud, and I really do not enjoy dancing.

A good time is getting progressively drunker and chatting, and snacks.

I'm also not interested in catching a respiratory illness.

Anti_Thing · 2024-03-27T06:27:29+00:00

I'm an introverted, nerdy, NVLD-diagnosed (more or less autistic), devoutly religious, right-wing virgin man.

Do you really think I'm going to find a compatible wife at a bar or club?

tacticaltossaway · 2024-03-27T00:18:50+00:00

I presume because a majority of people here are nerds, and nerds aren't known for clubbing.

Safinated · 2024-03-27T00:33:23+00:00

Because they don’t want to just have casual sex

DelDivision · 2024-03-27T00:37:10+00:00

I get overstimulated in crowds and loud music. Even with MDMA i still couldnt stop tensing up

Spicy_take · 2024-03-27T01:45:09+00:00

If you don’t drink, you’re just a creep hitting on drunk women.

GH0STRIDER579 · 2024-03-27T03:44:16+00:00

Because I know for a fact I'm not going to find my wife at a club because by very virtue of her being there we're going to have a significant difference in lifestyles, values, and personality types. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't really socialize outside of select hobby groups, and above all, I find pop culture and party scenes trashy. Also doesn't help I hate mainstream music.

TheDerInDisorder · 2024-03-27T12:47:13+00:00

Loud, boring, bad music, over priced, and they smell like a sack of assholes.

No-Weather-3140 · 2024-03-27T17:33:36+00:00

It’s 80/20 dudes, you need to pay cover, and frankly the women who frequent there don’t tend to be wife material. Awful place to pick up any kind of meaningful partner

Intellect7000 · 2024-03-27T01:14:01+00:00

The guys that want to boycott bars and clubs don't have the social skills to get laid there.

raldabos · 2024-03-27T02:06:36+00:00

Congrats on being attractive, that's usually not the case for most men.

M3taBuster · 2024-03-27T01:48:53+00:00

I'm exclusively looking for a LTR, and I would be very incompatible with the types of women who go to nightclubs (or bars, parties, concerts, raves, etc.).

I know it's hard to find women in gaming/nerd communities, but I'd rather be single than be with someone who doesn't share my hobbies and values, and live a similar lifestyle.

I'm still gonna bitch about being single tho lol.

WilliamWyattD · 2024-03-27T05:43:23+00:00

It could be that the guys who can do well at a club also do well at OLD. And OLD is easier for them.

Only a small set of men who do well at a club, and better there than OLD.

DaveR_77 · 2024-03-27T06:54:09+00:00

It also holds the problem that it is late night hours. It throws off your whole sleep schedule for the week and if you drink, your entire weekend.

Add to that DUI's, having to find the best places, needing a friend/wingman or even a woman to get into the best clubs, and these days cost.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2024-03-27T07:13:31+00:00

Americans seem to have a different concept of the point of clubs to the UK. Clubs are for drinking and dancing.

LapazGracie · 2024-03-27T01:33:14+00:00

A) The quality of women is often very very poor.

B) As others have pointed out those places tend to be sausage fests.

C) A lot of women there are not even looking for a hook up or really anything sex related. Which is really strange for dudes because most of us would never be caught dead in those places if it wasn't for pussy.

D) Clubs are dirty dangerous places with all sorts of low lives, drugs and crime.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-03-27T02:06:34+00:00

Those women not kind of women you want to deal with.

SilentFroggy · 2024-03-27T02:24:52+00:00

If she goes to the club, it’s an automatic red flag

Devilishz3 · 2024-03-27T02:30:23+00:00

What are you looking for? People at the club don't have the best reputation for long term. It's always been that way.

just_a_place · 2024-03-27T03:49:03+00:00

Because of the type of woman one usually finds at clubs isn't the kind we are most interested in for something serious.

We go to clubs to have fun, and if we meet women there it is only for that - for fun! Nothing more.

I don't see anyone boycotting bars of clubs dude. What's happening is that people in general are just not interested in going out to such places. Trends are changing. Clubs and bars will soon go the way of the neighborhood bar, cantina, or saloon. Something else will replace it, most probably.

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Alternative_Poem445 · 2024-03-27T06:16:17+00:00

hard pass

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-03-27T12:28:24+00:00

The most recent PPD poll showers the RP posters averaged age 18 and lived in the suburbs in the US

A lot aren’t even old enough to get into the 21 and older clubs.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-03-27T18:21:40+00:00

Like, for marriage? Women who frequent clubs for hookups? Nah.

2024-03-27T19:34:28+00:00

The competition is way too steep there regardless. They are still going to be looking for the same men they are matching with on the apps.

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2024-03-27T19:54:32+00:00

Every time I've ever gone to a club with my girlfriends, we actively avoid men like the plague. 99% of women in the club want nothing to do with anyone, but the people they already came with.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2024-03-27T20:16:42+00:00

Probably because a majority of dudes only get attention at clubs if they balling out... The moment that money stops flowing so does their attractiveness

odeacon · 2024-03-29T00:44:10+00:00

I don’t want a club going lady. I want a cafe , library , bookstore, or hobby shop going lady .

Hosj_Karp · 2024-03-29T07:00:46+00:00

Bars are way better than clubs.

Stunning_Run8476 · 2024-06-04T22:06:43+00:00

Most dudes do not want a "party" girl. Why would you want to go to a club filled with women you don't want to date?

techno_playa · 2024-07-19T16:06:50+00:00

Have you been to a club?

People hardly meet new people there. People are glued to their groups and an outsider chiming in is automatically viewed as a creep.

It’s loud. You can’t have a proper conversation.

Club goers are there to dance and party with their friends. Not to make new friends.

Drinks are overpriced. $9 for a red bull? Fuck off!

No-Knowledge5887 · 2024-08-18T08:48:15+00:00

Clubs are vile places. Never been to a rave but have heard they are more fun.

But also most menvdont want those type of club girls as girlfriends

Susano-o_no_Mikoto · 2024-08-29T18:37:31+00:00

the average man will buy a drink for a girl, the girl will thank them and move on. and then say "i'm not obligated to talk to you just because you buy me a drink' and she's perfectly right. of course many women also complain why men are too cheap to buy them a drink, when the mantra of buying a drink doesn't consititute attention meaning there's no point. too many double standards, price of drinks rise too high, too many unfair expectations. and nobody's willing to budge.

Kim8mi · 2024-03-27T00:29:50+00:00

I'm not a man but I'd say that the reason is they are not so desperate

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-03-27T01:10:39+00:00

I can only think of two reasons that I’ve seen come up time and time again.

Men don’t want to buy women anything unless they think it’s going to guarantee them sex because many men (and women) are broke in this economy.
Men like sexually open women but only if those women are exclusively sexually open for him alone. Women at bars and clubs are embracing their sexuality with as many men as they like. The whole Madonna/whore thing.

Mental_Leek_2806 · 2024-03-27T01:20:02+00:00

Clubs are good for casual sex and not much else. Bars and house parties are a different ball game entirely, though. I know plenty of women who go to chill local bars with the hopes of talking to a guy and then going on a date with him.

Whiskeymyers75 · 2024-03-27T01:32:45+00:00

Clubs are full of immaturity

boom-wham-slam · 2024-03-27T13:37:10+00:00

Not the easiest place. I can pull girls wearing sweat pants at home using tinder.

Also in my experience they are the lowest quality women. The women who visit clubs are usually not the kind I'd want to be serious with.

harmonica2 · 2024-03-27T00:27:49+00:00

Oh ok but if guys aren't willing to take the easiest way, are they ever going to regret it if the easiest way isn't even good enough?

alebruto · 2024-03-27T01:56:19+00:00

It's not the easiest option, and most women in places like this are low value. The best women are in the church, and the best men too

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-03-27T02:38:52+00:00

Dating apps are the easiest if you aren’t socially low IQ. Next would be social media. But again, same premise holds.

Title	How come so many guys do not want to go to clubs to get women, even though that is the easiest option?
Author	harmonica2
Upvotes	0
Comments	138
Date	March 27, 2024 12:11 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bonsjg/how_come_so_many_guys_do_not_want_to_go_to_clubs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-come-so-many-guys-do-not-want-to-go-to-clubs.1513340 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513340

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