Women enjoy sex, but is it ever mentally "fulfilling" to them?

silverhippo15 · 2024-05-22T18:45:45+00:00

they seem to go back to business as usual mode pretty fast afterwards while the guy is in this lingering euphoric mental state for a bit afterwards.

Been the opposite in my experience.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-05-22T23:32:48+00:00

I’ve experienced the opposite and all my friends describe the afterglow and we joke about getting dick drunk. I can tell as soon as I see my friends or classmates if they had fun the night before.

Silly goofy smile, relaxed, happy.

Jambi1913 · 2024-05-22T18:51:39+00:00

One way to look at it is that sex is a potential “beginning” for women in the “lizard brain” sense. You could get pregnant, it could be the start of an enormous chapter and responsibility in your life. Many women also hope the man they had it with is someone she will have a future with too.

For men, it could be seen as an “ending” - sex is something you feel driven to seek and have, it takes a woman choosing you and then you get to the climax and that is all achieved. If she gets pregnant, the lizard brain would be fulfilled, but that part happens outside of you. The goal is sex and the climax itself, if you will. For women, that is only the beginning of the biological goal to procreate.

I think as much as we enjoy sex for the physical sensations and the bonding experience, there is a part of us that knows the potential outcome of sex is pregnancy. For some women this has a stronger impact on behaviour than others - but it must have some kind of effect on the differences in how men and women view sex and behave after sex.

Sad_and_grossed_out · 2024-05-22T22:09:53+00:00

Well my husband came home after work yesterday fucked me into the bed frame until I was surfing the rings of Saturn and Ive still got a but of afterglow I'm enjoying as I get things done today so id say yes, it is fullfilling.

YveisGrey · 2024-05-22T23:31:13+00:00

Well being dickmatized is a trope so this may not be true for women in many cases

mika_running · 2024-05-22T19:03:01+00:00

Both men and women enjoy sex. Men might be hornier, less picky, and get off easier than women on the average, but if a woman is with a man who she loves and who makes an effort to please her (kissing, foreplay, etc.) she most certainly can love it.

Also, a big difference is that, because men have to work for sex (generally), men also get a psychological ego boost from getting it, which is the same reason men don't feel elated when sleeping with a hooker.

EulenWatcher · 2024-05-22T18:57:38+00:00

It depends.

Sometimes it’s pure bliss, euphoria and love to my husband. I don’t want to move or get up, just lay down, cuddle and bathe in this feeling. Sometimes I’m more energized and ready to go. Sometimes I’m just satisfied and sleepy.

I think it depends on how long we’ve gone without sex, what the mood was and what our plan is for afterwards.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2024-05-22T19:42:40+00:00

I find that after some good sex with my partner, I'm just.... better. Mentally, emotionally, physically....I don't crave chocolate the same way, I laugh easier, I sleep better...my mental health is better after having sex.

kvakerok_v2 · 2024-05-22T21:07:09+00:00

Even the women Ive dated who love to have sex , this calming peaceful fulfillment doesnt seem to happen ?

For women it's the reverse of men's experience. Women need to be feeling at peace and fulfilled before sex to thoroughly enjoy it. If they are not at peace after sex, you've fucked up the sex.

WYenginerdWY · 2024-05-22T23:02:58+00:00

but for a woman it seems like taking an advil

That's if it goes well. If it doesn't go well, it's not just not fulfilling, it's actively draining.

RatchedAngle · 2024-05-22T18:30:09+00:00

It’s hard for sex to be validating when you’re the one being “taken” versus the one doing the “taking.” Even women who enjoy sex and enthusiastically consent are still living in a world where the sexual dynamic is one of “taker” versus “taken.”

Women would enjoy sex more on a mental/emotional level if we felt our men were enjoying it on an equal level versus “he’s using my body to get off.”

januaryphilosopher · 2024-05-22T18:37:17+00:00

Sex has known mental health benefits for both men and women. Yes, it feels nice, no, not just physically, especially for women the most common kind (PIV) often doesn't have much of a good physical feeling.

MistyMaisel · 2024-05-23T00:57:30+00:00

Short answer: yes, it is often purest crack.

Longer answer: Not every orgasm is the same or equal. Not every orgasm is as easily arrived at. And our cycle plays a big role in things and the harmony of the relationship does as well. I'm not saying this to immediately tool on you or other dudes, but a lot of orgasms just aren't strong enough to deserve more emotions than "relief". And I'd wager to say a lot of dudes for a variety of reasons aren't giving their women that over the moon experience that nets "euphoria". They probably could, but they ain't. But yes, I would say for me, the majority are that good, but not all of them. I think a big key difference is that it's pretty rare for one orgasm to get me to that "fulfilled" place. I usually need around 3-5 to even be talking that level and the last one needs to be a banger where it was pretty much drawn straight from the last ounce of life in my soul.

My only other thought is that I often think men have a lower range of emotions and not as intense, but they maintain them more easily than women and struggle to shift into or out of them as easily. (Science would seemingly agree). I'm not surprised men manage to maintain a euphoric state longer than women. Conversely, women's euphoria may be shorter or easier to leave, but it's generally more intense and "complex".

As others have pointed out, we also generally carry more risk which tends to be what shifts us out of euphoria, Between pregnancy, yeast infections, and bladder infections, most of us can't just bask in the glow of our experience, we've gotta start maintenance right away to prevent a problem.

purplish_possum · 2024-05-23T03:27:58+00:00

It's not always a big deal for guys either. Sex can be anticlimactic. When that happens you know the relationship isn't going to work so you sneak out while she's sleeping and go home (ghosting 1980s style).

On the flip side if the woman really liked the sex she'll be all over you for more.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-05-22T19:52:58+00:00

Women find sex fulfilling in terms of touch and intimacy in a relationship, more so than in terms of validation and ego boosting. Which is one of the reasons why fewer women seek out casual sex.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-05-22T19:01:24+00:00

Should this not be a Question for Women?

superlurkage · 2024-05-22T18:50:31+00:00

Women wouldn’t care about romance, love and feelings if sex was “meh”/pornlike instead of emotionally/mentally fulfilling

Aren’t women the ones complaining about pump n dumps?

alwaysright12 · 2024-05-22T18:31:07+00:00

Yet another thread on this sub from a man trying to convince themselves that women don't really like sex

DarayRaven · 2024-05-22T19:21:23+00:00

Next up we are gonna ask if women poop

UrusaiNa · 2024-05-22T19:43:17+00:00

Not sure it helps -- but the girlfriends I've had that are able to climax (some just aren't even in masturbation) definitely have the same sense.

Body shaking "don't touch me" instinct as the muscles reset and then sleepy and calm... so yeah most girls have similar effects from their orgasms to men assuming all else is normal and functioning.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-05-23T07:41:36+00:00

It's a whole point that it's in the head, not just body. That's why we don't want to sleep with just anyone casualy. It's not only physical, it's mostly in the head.

egalitarian-flan · 2024-05-22T18:44:18+00:00

Yes, it is.

Essentially creates a feeling of contentment, relaxation, overall calm, and afterglow.

Imagine if everything could be 100% right and correct about your personal world for the next 10 minutes. This is what it's like after having sex.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-05-22T18:51:23+00:00

Depends if she’s actually sexually attracted to the man or not, also depends if she got off or not. They usually go hand in hand.

apresonly · 2024-05-22T21:18:37+00:00

if sex isn't fulfilling i'm ending the relationship immediately

John-Nada_ · 2024-05-22T18:22:53+00:00

Women enjoy hot sex in all possible variations with dominant men, but women love to tell others that they don’t like it and especially not with those men.

dislikesBSS · 2024-05-22T21:57:10+00:00

Only fulfilling sex leaves women fulfilled.

LaFrescaTrumpeta · 2024-05-23T03:31:16+00:00

interesting study exploring lesbian bed death found that lesbians have less sex but can and generally do feel the same level of satisfaction from fewer yet more intense sessions involving toys oral and aftercare, and lasting a significant amount longer on average. it’d be interesting to explore further and see the sexual satisfaction of straight couples who differ in potentially similar quantity vs quality ways. like if a stereotype of straight sex is 5 mins of oral and a 10 min pump sesh while the stereotype of lesbian sex is 30 mins of foreplay and multiple rounds per sesh, i can’t help but wonder lol

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serpensmercurialis · 2024-05-22T23:15:48+00:00

The difference between the two feelings in your post when I experience them are that if I really like someone and the sex was good, I feel like your montage. If I don’t like the person that much or the sex is bad, I just feel either the same relief from masturbating or relief that the sex is over. Only other reason to not have many feelings after is getting tired out to the point my mind is jelly. In that case it’s still that awesome feeling, but delayed until my frontal lobe comes back down to earth.

just_a_place · 2024-05-23T05:13:56+00:00

Sex = Mentally fulfilling?

What the hell kind of sorcerer's language are you speaking boi?

obviousredflag · 2024-05-23T07:38:00+00:00

What you might be referring to is having a new sexual partner, which triggers an immense reward system output for men, while doing bascially nothing for women. I don't see your description happening with having the hundredth time sex with your girlfriend.

The female orgasm lingers on longer and usually women want to cuddle after sex/orgasm for extended amounts while i could get up and continue doing other things pretty quickly. When i come back from the bathroom after cleaning myself up, i usually feel some form of "why have you been gone so long, i need to close to me now"-vibe. I guess this state is where feelings of being bonded, peace and fulfillment happen, that you seem to miss.

propagandu · 2024-05-23T16:39:46+00:00

So what's post-nut clarity?

Agile-Explanation263 · 2024-05-24T12:52:56+00:00

Extremely mentally fulfilling given you're good at it or are extremely good looking that she's visually stimulated enough to climax easier.

Women care a ton about setting and also the primal aspect of sex. Not to get to nsfw but non-consensual fantasies are common amongst women for a reason

wearpantsmuch · 2024-05-22T23:40:18+00:00

Sounds like you're just bad at sex brother

Missymisms · 2024-05-22T19:02:14+00:00

Feels like we’re being used

Boxisteph · 2024-05-22T23:23:21+00:00

This is an adorable question.

Orgasm for me is like the satisfaction of scratching an itch and that pleasant after feeling but in the body rather than a body part.

No monatges with us being hi-5'ed. But males are biologically designed to convince a female to carry on their genetic line. All males have a strong desire to pass on that genetic material and most males will willingly put their lives on the line for the opportunity. It makes sense that the evolutionary hormonal reward for passing on your genes as a man would be high.

For females there's no biological benefit from putting your life on the line for 9 months and during birth. The drive to have sex isn't as high nor is the reward for having it.

Women do enjoy the closeness of sex and that does have a biological benefit. To build loving social bonds.

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-05-22T20:03:29+00:00

Yeah, because there is a different biology and chemicals at play. Men cum once and we are ready go to sleep. Women cum once and want to cum again and again. There is a theory that in tribal/caveman times, when a woman is in heat (ovulating), she will climb on one guy, have him ejaculate in him and while he goes to sleep, she moves on to the next guy in the cave, until she is completely satisfied and has collected ejaculates from several specimens. Then those ejaculates fight it out between them who ends up impregnating the woman ensuring the strongest get to procreate.

harmlessharold · 2024-05-23T05:10:30+00:00

Haha, yeah I'm sure women are relieved when they finished with you.

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2024-05-22T18:48:49+00:00

Is anything fulfilling to women?

DeJuanBallard · 2024-05-22T18:57:03+00:00

Saying they enjoy sex , is like saying they enjoy walking. Within the context of hetero relationships no , no they do not enjoy it as much as men, not even close.

Title	Women enjoy sex, but is it ever mentally "fulfilling" to them?
Author	HolidayInvestigator9
Upvotes	0
Comments	263
Date	May 22, 2024 6:18 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1cy78md/women_enjoy_sex_but_is_it_ever_mentally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-enjoy-sex-but-is-it-ever-mentally-fulfilling.1519226 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519226

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