Do guys in the top 10-20% act similarly to these women people complain about?

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-01-30T04:53:36+00:00

Perhaps do you think men in the top 10-20% behave similarly as they can also get endless options and can get girls but not the "right" girl

Right on the money. You get an endless parade of hoes and no keepers.

rag3light · 2025-01-30T07:51:38+00:00

No. Guys in maybe the top 1-5% act like that. And even then, the men are still more straightforward than women are. Generally women complain about men who treat them the way they prefer to treat most men. This rule holds shockingly true.

InitialPaths989 · 2025-01-30T14:39:46+00:00

People talk like top 1% people are just normal. They don’t survey average people outside and just look at beautiful people on their phone. They’ve got a skewed expectation from people.

Guys who can date around are going to do it until he finds a girl he can’t live without. The fun thing about getting to date is you might meet someone who really pushes your buttons and you like spending time with.

Guys who get to date around are the ire of dating women. They want to have options but for guys just to pick them who can also date around. This is the only big problem women have with dating, is guys that can date at will that women chase are picky. These women get stuck in a loop of short term relationships.

throwawaylessons103 · 2025-01-30T05:54:45+00:00

Yes, but I think in some ways they act worse.

Even attractive women tend to hyper-focus on a specific man once they find one they’re really into.

A lot of top 10% men can’t stop running the hedonistic treadmill. They’re used to sexual variety and novelty, and find tons of women fuckable so it’s hard to give that up.

If you’re really a top 10-20% guy, finding a woman who meets your standards isn’t difficult. It’s committing that tends to be the difficult part.

(ETA: A lot of “Chads” I’ve known tend to end up hyper-focusing on elusive/unavailable women. They’ll have a full roster of options, including attractive stable ones… yet only want the one who’s a basket case of drama and isn’t stable enough for commitment.

My theory is when you have that many options, you get easily bored. And when you actually don’t want commitment yourself, you go for the “bad boy”/“bad girl” because you can have fun with them… but won’t actually have to be held accountable.)

G4M35 · 2025-01-30T04:19:36+00:00

I am now old(er) and happily married.

When I was young I was a simp, but I am stubborn AF, so after a lot of trail-and-error and a lot of reading about online dating (mostly crap, of course) I cracked the code, so to speak, and I had a long-ish period when I sowed by wild oats, I had FWBs, ONSs, and dated casually; I had no problem securing sex.

I am not saying that it got boring, but after a while it was ok; but I did enjoy having choices. I was not looking for a serious relationship, and I had a few buddies with whom to hang out.

I had a ~~good~~ great time. My only complain, if you can call that, was the drama when - after a while - one of the FWBs caught feelings. That's all.

And then one day, by random chance, in the most unusual circumstances and places I met an incredible woman, we became friends only (no benefits), but then soon we fell in love, and the rest is history.

TL;DR: no complains.

AngeAware · 2025-01-30T04:43:23+00:00

I ask again, are all of the dudes on r/nicegirls top 20% Chads?

Because for all that Reddit says that average men can't get a single match and would happily put up with anything it sure reads like that isn't the case all of the time. Unless, again, you believe that that sub is a bunch of male models swapping stories.

Fancy-Statistician82 · 2025-01-30T04:31:28+00:00

I cannot think of my husband as anything other than top 10%, and he never acted like "that".

Here's where I finally admit that he's 6'5", and already owned a nice home, financially secure before I met him.

My right hand to the holy text of your choice, I married him because he had stable friendships, the same environmental activism profile as me, a good relationship with his parents, and was attentive in the bedroom while respecting my pace.

He never in his life wanted for a girlfriend so far as I know, and I've met two. He's on good polite terms with his exes so even if they didn't stay in touch they come up at high school reunions, whatever. Heck he dated an Olympian before me, though I didn't get to meet her.

I've never had any hint over the past twenty years of him being unfaithful. Even when I seriously aggravate him, straying is not a concern. He's made himself into very dear friends with my dad.

Nidken · 2025-01-30T03:27:15+00:00

The paradox of choice

grown_folks_talkin · 2025-01-30T05:05:51+00:00

I knew guys who could land AN attractive woman whenever they walked into a room just following the IOIs, but when they zeroed in on a specific woman their hit rate was fairly low.

I'd even say their ease of finding a relationship--and they did want them at times--was slightly higher than that of an average guy.

But casual sex was easy for them.

ViolentShallot · 2025-01-30T09:28:03+00:00

Yes and no. Yes, there will be commitment issues, as the commitment is way more expensive for those men -they give up more-

But there's less of the problem of constantly discarding valid partners because they feel they can get more when they can't. They can. They discard the "More" as well.

DankuTwo · 2025-01-30T10:51:17+00:00

Honestly, I’m kind of surprised that anyone finds anyone to date and marry.

MrsKML · 2025-01-31T00:43:50+00:00

Just here to tell you the 15th percentile is below average. The top 10-20% of the men are the 80-99th percentiles.

Solondthewookiee · 2025-01-30T04:40:04+00:00

and I can get women but I too don't feel satisfied because the women I want are perhaps just out of my reach.

That might be it. Or it might just be that most people aren't compatible. The vast majority of relationships don't work out. It is only red pill that tells men to cling on to every relationship "they don't have options."

ThatBitchA · 2025-01-30T03:44:38+00:00

men in the top 10-20%

What or who are these men? What defines a "top 10-20%"?

a guy is a 8 and he doesn't want a 6, he wants an 8 too. But it won't work because the 8 girl wants the 9 guy.

What? People in real life don't think like this. Nobody is going around saying, "I'm an 8, but I want a 9". 🙄

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Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2025-01-30T09:16:09+00:00

This is of course true of both genders. The more options you have the less likely you are going to “settle”.

The main difference though is that the top 20 percent of guys with countless sexual options( like the majority of average woman) aren’t vocally complaining about not being able to find any good ones.

EetinAintCheetin · 2025-01-30T10:56:36+00:00

Yes and no.

Here is the thing. There are only two roles one can play in any romantic dynamic. You can either be the pursuer or the pursued. You can either do the courting or be courted.

When you assume one role, the woman has no choice but to assume the other one automatically. And vice versa. What do you think is the role that men traditionally fall into? That’s right! They automatically assume the pursuer/courting role. The woman then assumes the pursued role and they are so conditioned to do that that they also assume it automatically.

The problem is that the pursuer is always in the weaker position. To pursue/court means that you are trying to get the other person to like you, be with you, be interested, want something more, etc. The pursued always has the power. The issue is that when you pursue/chase people, you tend to push the other person away. There are degrees of chasing of course, and the more strongly you come off, the more you scare them off. But even a little bit of pursuing puts you in the weaker position.

That’s why it is much more beneficial for a man to always assume the pursued/being courted role. Now, that doesn’t mean being passive and sitting at home or in the corner of a bar, thinking women will just come up to you and say “hey hot stuff wanna get out of here?”. I mean good luck if that’s your understanding of being pursued and that’s your strategy.

To be pursued you have to present yourself a certain way and behave a certain way. Think about the most common frame women have with guys? Let me give you a clue. Would you say this is a true statement:

“A woman goes out on a date hoping to like the guy. A guy goes on a date hoping the woman will like him”.

I would say that yes, this is observable in real life quite a bit. Doesn’t make it right, but it happens in 99% of cases. In other words, the woman’s frame is one of “you have to prove that you are worthy of even talking to me” while the man’s frame is one of “I hope she finds me worthy enough to talk to me and pick me as her provider”. So when a guy shows up with this frame of “please pick me to be your provider”, women automatically start the screening process. And let me tell you. It rarely ends up well for the guy. He might get a couple of auditions/dates, but most likely it ends up with him being gently sent to pasture. Or, maybe the woman doesn’t have any other viable prospects and she will take him up on his offer to be her provider, but she will be on the lookout for a guy she can pursue.

So a guy needs to change his frame and the role he assumes and he will automatically see a change in how women respond to him. If the guy assumes the pursued role and has the frame of “She needs to prove she’s worthy of my time”, the woman will assume the pursuer/courter role. I’ve done this a ton of times and the power you have when living in this new frame is tremendous. You become the guy who screens women, who dates a lot, who doesn’t settle. You don’t have to try nearly as hard as you did it before. You can blow women off, not commit to them and they will chase you.

Now, there is a lot more to it than just that. You need to change things on your end and your behavior. You can’t keep acting like a pursuer and think you will get pursued. But it is completely possible to change your approach and women will respond to you completely different.

James_M_Croft · 2025-01-30T12:28:01+00:00

In certain aspects? Like not accepting low value partners. yes.

In others aspects? Like preffering to have multiple casual partners over any real commitment. No.

There are certain things that differ such as the nature and the state of the market.

GlumCareer8019 · 2025-01-30T20:49:44+00:00

To quoque gets overused in this sub and it's the main reason why the same 4 arguments keep getting made. "I saw a guy do it once" vs "I observed a trend"

Proudvow · 2025-01-30T23:58:08+00:00

In that sense yes, but in other ways no. There'd be no actual problem if they behaved exactly the same as women. The issue is that they fuck down constantly.

PuffStyle · 2025-01-31T06:24:58+00:00

The main complaint of TRP is that women are unrealistically picky. Anybody in the top 10% of either gender is going to be realistically very picky so it's not a fair comparison.

Guys in the top 10% treat women as disposable and generally get away with lots of questionable behavior. However, guys in the top 10% are often honest about it telling girls they just want to fuck from the beginning and girls go "okay." Leonardo Dicaprio is not hiding the fact he dates a dozen 22 year olds at any given time and will cycle through them. OTOH, TRP claims that women are playing games, lying, manipulating, and using men for self-esteem. So, you really need to define what behaviors you specifically mean.

beleidigtewurst · 2025-01-31T15:18:37+00:00

No, as the high body count is a dumb strategy for women.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-02-01T03:39:49+00:00

There’s frustration on both sides when you don’t get picked. People have a way of judging those who are better off than them in any spectrum.

LuckyKirito · 2025-02-01T08:45:53+00:00

My bro is 10% of looks. He gets approached all the time, by good women, bad women, all kinds.

Guess what? He is turned off when a woman approaches him. He is turned off of women being easy. He wants to chase, so he is attracted only to women who happen to be out of reach. At the same time he complains “I know this bitch likes me, why doesn’t she approach”.

And he really does struggle to find a woman he would fell in love with.

Ah, problems of very attractive people… 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

DropKickBabies · 2025-02-01T17:53:05+00:00

maybe top 5%. Top 10-20% isnt nearly good enough to get endless options. Like just based off height alone being just 6ft puts you at top 14% lol.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2025-02-01T22:45:53+00:00

The top 10 to 20% of men don't want to settle down, why settle down when you got a endless pussy train

No_Sound_1149 · 2025-02-02T00:13:06+00:00

I still want to know where the 1-10 levels are defined.

Lower-Speed-840 · 2025-02-03T06:47:28+00:00

The bad boys did the nasty toxic shit women love on the low and now they can’t be satisfied unless they get that. It’s what happens when thinking with your dick goes unchecked for too long.

The problem is most good/kind/nice men won’t usually do those things cus they’re toxic. They could if they wanted to but being a nice person would usually get in the way of that

Basically those 20% have cracked the code to attracting women and now they just rince and repeat. If women would peep game and get some dick discipline then they’d stop getting fleeced but that takes self control and focus.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2025-01-30T06:58:49+00:00

i think there's some overlap but generally speaking, sexually successful men don't struggle with finding relationships with women they are genuinely into. they tend to date around because they want commitment free variety rather than a committed long-term relationship. when they want to settle down, they have a plethora of options, including lots of women that are attractive, feminine and their type. of course they will still have to look for it and go on a bunch of dates, but it's really just a matter of time even for the pickiest men (if they are indeed in the top percentile).

meanwhile a lot of women want that commitment but they don't qualify for the men they want it from. so they end up dating around, stuck in situationships etc. chasing men who are out of her league. i never heard of an attractive and desirable guy (i.e. top 10-20%) who was stuck in a loop of situationships with women who didn't want to commit to him. the main difference is that, for women, there's a huge gap between sexual options and relationship options. that's not really the case for men - if you can hook up with 8s and 9s, you will be able to lock them down in most cases. exceptions to the rule exist but they are exactly that - exceptions.

Ordinary_Coconut5273 · 2025-01-30T08:45:01+00:00

I find that I can get women I want easily, but even that feels unsatisfying after a while.

RoseyButterflies · 2025-01-30T14:36:04+00:00

Top guys typically behave better than lower SVM.

Of course there is a % that are bad and act strangely entitled.

Title	Do guys in the top 10-20% act similarly to these women people complain about?
Author	SaltMarzipan9790
Upvotes	12
Comments	176
Date	January 30, 2025 2:21 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1idbpoq/do_guys_in_the_top_1020_act_similarly_to_these/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-guys-in-the-top-10-20-act-similarly-to-these.1542500 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542500

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