Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinions

VietQuads · 2025-02-03T05:04:49+00:00

Doesn't the mainstream opinion frown upon a relationship with such a big age difference?

Fancy-Statistician82 · 2025-02-03T03:38:45+00:00

It's a bit more basic than that, and affects everyone. Spending time on the apps (Facebook, insta, dating apps) is directly correlated with a slew of mental health issues including anxiety, depression etc.

For every additional one hour per day there is a 9% increase in suicidality. pubmed link in case anyone wants to read the study instead of a news article about it.

This affects men and women. For each individual person, it will obviously feel unique, and for you it feels like being rejected by bitter angry women, but I promise you that all parties are hurting here.

This meta-analysis find the depression - screen time link to be more robust in women (they did not break out online dating apps).

I think the online dating apps are truly toxic, and there's good reason to believe that the programmers tune the algorithm against success to keep you scrolling instead of happily paired up.

paramedicoxbird · 2025-02-03T03:27:01+00:00

I mean internet opinions are real opinions made by real people. Perhaps back in the day a boomer guy harassing some girl for a date until she said yes was considered not a big deal or cute due to the culture back then. Today it has changed and now he would be called a creep/predator which needs to go to jail. Internet opinions don’t live in a vacuum- they have real life consequences. Yes a normal woman might not mind getting hit on every now and then but you don’t know if you run into a bitter woman who will try to go after you. Reporting you to HR, trying to tarnish your image on social media, etc. Can you still do it? Yes, of course. But in today’s world it’s a coin toss. Personally, I think in the post Me Too era a lot of times the risk simply outweighs the reward.

Pristine-Angle3100 · 2025-02-03T05:59:12+00:00

Pretty long winded way to say "lol touch grass bro" and "just be confident bro".

People on the internet are still real people and there is a real chance you can run into one of these lunatic women who will try to ruin your life.

We also have real life video evidence of women having hissy fits because a guy dared to look in her direction for a split second. Joey Swoll's channel on youtube is full of them. Men have a very real chance of being put on blast for the world to see. I dont blame men for staring at their feet. I actually encourage it because it deprives these attention seekers.

mandoa_sky · 2025-02-03T03:16:17+00:00

these days we call that "daddy issues" or has the term been changed to something else?

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-02-03T13:58:46+00:00

The ones who don't struggle? They're the ones who don't listen.

How do you know this?

I recently found out that my cousin

Unfalsifiable claims

You end up thinking the ignorance expressed by bitter people is anything like real life.

The people in the internet ARE PEOPLES IN REAL LIFE, they don't magically disappear once you're off the internet, internet is not a wormhole connected to some far land of magic and demons.

xaviebellamy-2718 · 2025-02-03T12:31:40+00:00

I just like being friends with people, more than dating, it's just exhausting. I just can't stand the honeymoon faze.

AspectOfThought · 2025-02-03T03:39:47+00:00

One of the largest contributing factors I think is that young men notice how women never seem to oppose each others opinions unless it's in any way pro-male opinion then they get dogpiled and called a pickme.

So from a young male perspective there is an extremely small subject of women that don't hate men and those women are actively hated by other women. Also the ones that have a following are disproportionately mothers/married and older ie not women you would be dating.

Overall I don't think young women hate men but a good amount of them do and those ones are very loud and no other women their age ever call them out.

If you go to posts that are misogynist towards women on the other hand you will always see guys of all ages arguing against it.

Stock-Argument-1040 · 2025-02-03T03:23:36+00:00

I agree with the title but not the post. Many young men internalise internet opinions that reduce a nuanced and complex thing like dating down to Chads who get dates and neckbeards that don't. They look at their height, or their jawline, or other things they can't really control because the internet tells them that these are the most important part of getting a girl and they give up before they even start. Or they get these complexes that they have no personal reason for other than seeing rage bait online.

MyUpSeemsDown · 2025-02-03T05:51:20+00:00

They also externally empathize to cases they see on internet, which in a bigger picture is a mere fraction, however in a person's eye is tremendous, which further reinforces or even fosters biases against women. Problem with this is that empathizing really isn't about having the actual experience of it, but the feeling of it is just as if they have experienced it because they can see themselves in it.

More than that, especially for folks who are inexperienced with women are certain to have doubts, fears and insecurities about women. And those bad cases of women they see on internet serve as perfectly valid reasons for them to feel that way. So not only are they driven to have biases, their fear and insecurities are being validated by doing so. This is why there's an obvious rise in misogynistic sentiment, prime example being TRP.

So it's actually pretty easy to explain how now you have so many guys logically try to reduce and corner all women to be terrible, and those same people complain about how the bar is so fucking high that they just don't have single chance with any women anymore. Like how do you have people who think women are evil, when they have next to 0 experience with them? It's all obviously their negative bias, emotions, fueled by the internet.

It's terribly ironic, because I would agree that this is first time the world has seen men feeling validated for any kind of feelings, it's just that the one they are being validated for is in fact is their and fear and insecurities which just perpetuates it. It's literally the crulest joke, and they play it on themselves.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-02-03T08:09:47+00:00

And men have become so deathly afraid of being creepshamed that they ruin their dating chances by listening. The ones who don't struggle? They're the ones who don't listen.

Absolutely. So, why do you listen? Because you are afraid of negative judgment. The thing that even keeps you from approaching women if there was nothing but encouragement for doing that. Because at the end, it's still YOU approaching, and not MEN. And there is a large chance that you will be negatively judged.

So, it's not as easy as "just don't listen". The personality of the man is still afraid of negative judgment and will not approach women for many other reasons. The reasons you listed are just the flavor of the month, that niceguys will adopt and think " i will do everything they say they want, then they will like me, even if those things mean i don't interact with them at all. Better for me anyways, so i don'T risk judgment".

insert_dead_memes · 2025-02-04T22:54:42+00:00

This happens to women too, just look at r/4bmovement

Logos1789 · 2025-02-03T03:21:30+00:00

Men’s fear at any given moment as it pertains to women comes from the understanding that, like the other men any given negative outcome has happened to (just the ones anyone has heard of), it can happen to them.

bzl33 · 2025-02-03T13:21:41+00:00

Some young men struggle because of competition. Competition if you don't win makes you feel defeated. You can keep believing that "internet opinions" are more powerful than competition but you will be wrong, competition is what shapes the world around us.

Also most young men aren't as socially awkward as you're implying. This is the real problem with the Internet, an inability to analyze an issue without going to extremes.

Its-Over-Buddy-Boyo · 2025-02-03T07:46:58+00:00

Aside from the leftard redditors take, which is accurate, you forget the fact that women view 80% of men as "below average" with regards to looks.

This makes dating and approaching hard even for those who don't buy into the FuMuNiSt rhetoric about leaving women alone, because there's only so many rejections you can take until you realize the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

burneraccountguydude · 2025-02-03T03:31:12+00:00

Yes demoralization is a tactic. It’s been used in war, business, etc and now is used on social media

BlessdRTheFreaks · 2025-02-03T03:35:23+00:00

Probably the most true statement put on this sub. In real life people are pretty cool and people still behave like people. If you get caught glancing at a girl it's not the end of the world, she might even smile at you if you're not covered in Cheeto dust and cockroach feces.

There has been perspective and attitude shifts for the worse though, it's not completely in their heads -- people cry harrassment for pretty ordinary and innocuous behavior, but it's nowhere near as bad as people make it seem when you're looking for reasons to reinforce your lack of success and fears on the interwebs.

Sandjota · 2025-02-03T06:14:38+00:00

I'm a dude, and I agree that a lot of men are pigs and creeps. This is the true inner nature of men. The real problem is that women's actions do not align with what they say and they do not apply the same rules to all men.

They claim they don't want to be objectified. They say they want a good man that will be a good father figure. They say they don't want a player, etc, etc They say all these nice charachter qualities, but continously, they do not reward guys in the dating marketplace for these attributes. They are tertiary. They really care for how tall a guy is, how clever/funny he is, if he has financial means, if he is interesting (i.e. how good can he manipulate a women into thinking he is exciting and fun to be around). It's all superficial BS. And guys don't want to be "liked" for such dumb reasons

wanpieserino · 2025-02-03T07:00:39+00:00

My funny internet opinion: if you ever fuck an old bastard, no young man will ever touch you again ☺️

Otjahe · 2025-02-03T09:55:09+00:00

The “creep check” is 100% made up bs.

Slipthe · 2025-02-03T04:02:49+00:00

And men have become so deathly afraid of being creepshamed

Skill issue, truly.

Reading a room and indications of interest has become a lost art.

People are impatient and afford themselves no plausible deniability in courting. Being coy and playful not only increases mystique and attraction, but provides many avenues to steer conversations away if someone is not reciprocating. That's the issue with cold approaches as well as they give you almost no foundation for plausible deniability and incidental interaction.

I fear the art of flirting has gone the way of the dodo.

leosandlattes · 2025-02-03T04:00:04+00:00

The title of this should be changed to: "Men have self-cucked themselves and do not take accountability for their actions and should make better choices regarding their lives."

I mean, what is that, really? "Internet people told me not to go after a woman studying at Starbucks so now I have to live my life according to what they say."

When I was 19 or 20 I got on RPW and decided to stop being a gross uggo. Imagine if I had lived my life believing that one day a "real man" would love me for me and that every pot has a lid, just because Dove commercials told me that every size was beautiful.

People have control over their lives and should do something about it.

throwawaypi123 · 2025-02-03T13:50:39+00:00

This is why you should have woman friends. Just so you can see how much of an influence intimate male partners (or lack of) have on an average woman. Its most likely a top 3 issue.

So whenever you see someone bleeting onto the internet complete nonsense. That should signal to you that for that individual, men take the number 1 top spot in her life. In the same vain that men bleeting nonsense are clearly as obsessed.

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IAmDefinitelyNotFBI · 2025-02-04T02:31:09+00:00

And men have become so deathly afraid of being creepshamed that they ruin their dating chances by listening. The ones who don't struggle? They're the ones who don't listen.

You are right but what's the cure? Of course they don't want to risk being called a creep or having something worse come from that. Depending on how physically attractive you are, your % for being successful can be so low it's not worth the hassle. I would guess that an ugly guy that's a 3/10 can approach a woman with confidence, be nothing but respectful and normal, and still have a 1% chance that he'll leave with her IG.

beleidigtewurst · 2025-02-04T19:32:18+00:00

Why do people sound as if number of single men differs from the number of single women?

PIF_Daddy · 2025-02-05T08:20:24+00:00

Yuh. Im Gen X. I know to filter out the BS on the net, BUT I existed pre-internet. Diff 4 u poor Gen Y grew up holding a tablet.

Yuh. Internet is a bit...toxic....I saw a poor girl on this very purplepill forum bemoan that she 22-23 and her worth/fertility slowly slipping away. Hurt my heart. I assumed everybody had skin as thick as mine only to see this girl absorb the.....toxicity....of the wall/fertility debate.

Delete the dating apps boys. Touch grass. Let her swipe left on herself.

binkerfluid · 2025-02-07T17:54:44+00:00

Just a general reminder to all the people that say internet isnt real life

Internet opinions are the opinions of real people.

They are liked, shared and commented on by many more real people.

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2025-02-03T03:37:23+00:00

Some 25 yr old girls and younger want to date a daddy and they seek them out. It’s different from sugar dating because that’s just what they want. You have to look good and be the type of guy that has a nice place and has some financial freedom to go out, but they never will ask you for money or gifts, they just want you. I’m in my mid 40s and young women who are into older men make themselves very available and half of them just want an older boyfriend, it’s a preference not just curiosity. It’s not an internet friendly thing to discuss, but it’s real.

Quad-Banned120 · 2025-02-03T06:30:27+00:00

I think you're bang on with the terminally online part. It's also why the new breed has the social skills of a beached trout and is so desperate for some trick or shortcut to success.
People spew borderline inflammatory shit on the internet to improve their engagement; it's simply another flavour of brainrot.
I still haven't noticed a change in the dating market but have also never bothered with the online shit. All my buddies who go out and talk to women still meet women and all my buddies who don't go out and talk to women still rarely meet women. Business as usual.

No-Toe6462 · 2025-02-03T11:57:27+00:00

I’m struggling to see why it’s an issue for men to be worried about offending women? Culture evolves and societal norms change- men becoming more aware of how they can make women more comfortable is a great thing, and it might take a little time but being conscientious with your communication and listening to women when they say XYZ is creepy is not a bad thing.

just_a_place · 2025-02-03T04:46:08+00:00

Those who do that are effeminate idiots, and they deserve their struggles.

Internalizing judgement is what girls do. Men don't give much of a fuck about "shame." We will do what we will at the end of the day.

Women have indeed made a hostile ass environment in which to date and men have adapted via the spread of the Red Pill. The way to navigate the hostility and toxicity women have created is to:

Be shameless. Because shaming tactics do not work on the shameless. Duh! And women will shit-test your ass mercilessly in order to see if they can shake you. If you waver and stutter, you lose. The best and only way to keep a steady hand and an unwavering voice is to realize they're playing fucking games with you, so play back, don't take their BS seriously, and if she strings you along for too long dump her ass and move on to an easier woman.
Be ruthless. If you are a wimp that loses heart easily then you will never get pussy. Women have killed the suitor but still reward the hunter. So hunt! Be tactful, be stealthy, be silent, and be ruthless. The way predators hunt. Focus, pick out the weakest from the flocks, and do not dare to ever feel any guilt for pulling any trick you need to do.
Be impersonal. It's just sex, nothing personal. All is fair in love and war because love is war! Thanks to 60+ fucking years of feminist sneaking, scheming, and undermining society against men. So fuck 'em, literally and figuratively. Pump 'n Dump and never look back!

How's THAT for an internet opinion eh? 😉

RoseyButterflies · 2025-02-03T12:21:36+00:00

Just ask the girl out and if she says no that is a no.

There is a right way and a wrong way to go about things.

Don't be creepy.

blueeyeddevill75 · 2025-02-03T03:46:12+00:00

Most of these women who are bitter are not fun to be around anyway. What I might be afraid of is real word consequences of interacting with said insecure people.

KhadgarIsaDreadlord · 2025-02-03T13:01:16+00:00

Many young men struggle becouse they externalize internal issues

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2025-02-03T13:21:05+00:00

well everything you read on the internet is 100% correct and every single user is 100% who they say they are so i dont know what else to tell you

Title	Many young men struggle because they internalize internet opinions
Author	rejected-again
Upvotes	66
Comments	169
Date	February 3, 2025 3:05 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1igfcpz/many_young_men_struggle_because_they_internalize/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/many-young-men-struggle-because-they-internalize.1542841 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542841

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