In my previous post, many men argued that there simply aren’t enough high-earning men to go around. Their takeaway? Women need to bring something exceptionally unique to the table to be "worthy" of these men.

But as someone married to a 'high-quality man', it’s clear to me that most average men here have no idea what kind of women these men actually marry—or what they value in a partner. Ironically, many average men expect more from a woman than the high-achieving man. If these “exceptional men” are choosing partners who don’t fit the sub’s stereotypical mold, then what should average men be looking for?

Defining "High-Quality" Men

For context, I’m defining high-quality men based on my own social circle:

  • Highly educated (Top 20 undergrad, often a master’s degree)
  • Ambitious (30-something, earning $200K–$800K in medicine, finance, law, etc.)
  • Reasonably attractive (SMV 6.5–9)
  • Family-oriented (actively want marriage and kids)
  • Emotionally stable & communicative
  • Socially well-adjusted (strong friendships, good social skills)

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it reflects the traits of my husband and his peers.

The Type of Women These Men Marry

1. Looksmatched

Their wives are roughly as attractive as they are. The 9/10 guys marry 9/10 women. The 6.5 guys marry 6.5 women. None of these men used their money or status to "level up" to an Instagram model or even a younger woman. Even with good personalities and high incomes they still married women at their level of attractiveness.

2. Career/Education Matched

Even when a woman no longer works (e.g., yoga teacher or SAHM), she typically had a serious career or education before marriage. Pretty much everyone attended similarly ranked universities and shared professional or academic backgrounds with their husbands. Some still have ambitious careers; others don’t—but these men married women who were their intellectual and social equals.

3. They Don’t Marry Trad Wives

A common belief here is that a woman who wants a high-earning husband must be a full-time homemaker. That’s simply false. All of these men share household and childrearing responsibilities, including cooking and cleaning, when time allows. Many of them, including my husband, genuinely enjoy cooking.

4. N-Count Doesn’t Matter

Some of these women had a past relationship count of 3. Others had 30. It had zero bearing on their ability to marry these men. The only universal trend? None of them were single mothers or had done sex work (e.g., OnlyFans).

5. Compatibility Was the Biggest Factor

This never gets discussed enough, but the #1 thing these women brought to the table was compatibility. These couples like each other. They share similar personalities, values, and long-term goals. There’s no single achievement, look, or role these women played—other than being a great match for their specific husband.

The Real Question: What Should Average Men Be Looking for?

If this is the type of woman high-quality men are marrying, then it raises an interesting question: What should average men be looking for in a partner?

Because if men making $500K aren’t requiring a 22-year-old overly feminine woman who never had a past, then why would average men require it?