What do you think of a guy making you wait for sex?

duckingretard · 2025-07-15T15:11:58+00:00

I would strongly prefer this, sexual desperation is the most unattractive trait a man can have ngl.

toasterchild · 2025-07-15T15:13:46+00:00

I don't think this is that uncommon. It will only turn off people who only want casual which is fine.

Id personally still like to know that he desires it with me even if choosing not to.

ThatBitchA · 2025-07-15T15:14:16+00:00

I love it when guys aren't rushing or demanding sex right away.

If a guy demands sex by a certain date, it tells me he's not into me. It tells me that he just wants sex and I'm his latest conquest. Which is a huge turn off.

I much preferred the men who were interested in me as a human. Instead of the men interested in me because I have a vagina.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-07-15T17:33:06+00:00

My now-husband basically did this, or at least it was a mutual choice to hold off on sex until we got to know each other a bit. I appreciated it, and felt like getting to know each other first made the first time much better and set a good foundation to start a relationship.

In fact, most guys I’ve dated never pushed for sex right away, so I never quite got this “don’t date a woman who won’t have sex with you on the first date” thing came from. Most men who are actually interested in a relationship don’t even try that, or at least didn’t back when I was dating.

Most women know the value in waiting a bit, and I think some men here need to see the value in not behaving like a sex pest tbh. No, this doesn’t mean acting “like a friend.” You can kiss, make out, flirt, etc., and make it very clear things are romantic, without jumping straight in bed, ya know.

Xeltar · 2025-07-15T15:07:51+00:00

I mean, for me if it's because they genuinely aren't comfortable with it, I really don't mind. If the guy is a good companion otherwise, plenty of other things to do without sex. It's really just a problem if they playing "Dread" games or have lost interest and too cowardly to just leave, because nobody has time for that.

anna_alabama · 2025-07-15T15:36:13+00:00

Waiting is more common than rushing. My husband and I waited almost a year and have zero regrets

tattletana · 2025-07-15T15:05:30+00:00

i think most women would be happy with this arrangement. obviously everyone sees sex differently, but as far as most women i know this would be a giant green flag.

My_House_on_Mars · 2025-07-15T15:27:38+00:00

This would be genuinly awesome, glad to wait

JadeGrapes · 2025-07-15T16:13:28+00:00

Generally, people that wait a few dates seem like they have their life figured out more than people that will stick their dick in anything;

"Don't stick your dick in crazy" is a classic for a reason. Guys that bone everything that moves will have a handful of crazy on the ol roster. I don't want a crazy chick showing up at my house trying to fight me for "her man".
Guys with nothing to lose, act like it. Guys with a life worth protecting, act like it. If he has a great career, business, or family money - he's going to be really fucking careful to not have random baby-mamas trying to get on the child-support gravy train. Broke guys don't worry about that the same way, because no one could live off that money.
Guys that have standards about dating, usually have standards for other things too. They are more likely to keep a clean house, be punctual, not get sloppy drunk, be thoughtful about news sources, plan travel ahead of time, take care of their health, and not do impulsive reckless shit.

attendquoi · 2025-07-15T15:32:10+00:00

I'm cool with it. I make guys wait until I think they're sincere about the relationship.

JustMoreSadGirlShit · 2025-07-15T20:18:00+00:00

my dude said he’s not gonna fuck someone he’s not dating. we’ve been together for over 10 years. having boundaries is cool

AdjectiveMcNoun · 2025-07-15T22:42:44+00:00

This would be perfect.

CanaryHeart · 2025-07-15T16:28:05+00:00

I mean, how long are we talking about? I’d have been fine waiting several dates, but sexual compatibility is important to me and I wouldn’t want to wait a year or until marriage or anything like that.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-07-15T17:30:18+00:00

I wouldn't consider that "Making me wait for sex". I would consider that "He doesn't want to have sex right now." It wouldn't turn me on or off. I'd take it pretty neutrally. Someone not wanting to have sex with me right now is the default, so I'm used to it. Them choosing to have sex with me is the alternate.

Morgoth_Worshipper · 2025-07-15T21:25:10+00:00

Turn on since I am an asexual so sex isn't on the table anyway.

leosandlattes · 2025-07-15T21:16:24+00:00

I wouldn’t wait, I like doing sex stuff early. If he wants to wait I’d just move on.

Sophiatab · 2025-07-15T17:57:47+00:00

I believe sex before marriage is immoral, so this would be none issue with me. I expect him to be prepared to wait.

HotOutcome9161 · 2025-07-16T06:51:51+00:00

Absolutely fine. We‘d be on the same page. I like when people tell their dealbreakers upfront. If we dont match, that‘s fine no hard feelings. But that way we both didnt waste our time going on multiple dates expecting a different outcome.

AngeAware · 2025-07-15T15:38:16+00:00

To me a relationship is doomed when waiting for sex is something one party imposes on the other rather than a preexisting commitment the two have in common.

My SO is equally on board with waiting until marriage. Neither of us had to "make" the other do anything.

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Avast_Lion · 2025-07-15T16:31:54+00:00

I mean, if I want to have sex earlier or more than my partner, I feel a little disappointed. Everybody would prefer to do things when, how, and how much they themselves want. It’s not a turn-off, though, because it doesn’t reflect negatively on my partner. It’s fine. I’m fine with it.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-07-15T17:12:21+00:00

Do I enjoy spending time with you? If yes, then sure, and I'm also fine if it never happens, I'll just go with the flow. If not, then probably I'm not waiting

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-07-15T18:03:30+00:00

turn off, no. stop imitating women

Werevulvi · 2025-07-15T18:39:57+00:00

I'd have no issue with that. It would probably just take off pressure for both of us if we both wanted to wait.

My first boyfriend wanted to wait longer than I did. I was fine with that. He was a virgin and I had been with two (three if we count rape) men before him. I wasn't very experienced at that point either, but I understood that he was nervous and wanted to be sure with me first.

Fyi it doesn't really matter to me what the exact reasons a guy wants to wait with sex are. I don't think that's something anyone has to justify. Although if it's religious reasons it might be good to know, because we might not be compatible then, if we have very different views on sex. But either way consent matters, and I would never push for sex, just because men are known to be more sexual in general. Plus, I believe that if I don't want a guy to act entitled to my body, a good start is to not act entitled to his.

-NeonLux- · 2025-07-15T18:42:39+00:00

If it was because he was religious absolutely not. I have never and refuse to ever date someone religious. I would never have waited for marriage.

I usually had sex really fast. I've been with my husband for 23 years. When we met we talked for 2 hours and he picked me up from work (we met at my work when he came to visit a friend who worked with me). I worked nights so it was 2am when I left with him. We hung out that night and I stayed with him and slept in his bed with him that night but we never touched each other - just talked.

The next evening, less than 24 hrs after our first meeting, we went out after he got off work and went to a club and took ecstasy and went back to his place and had a bunch of sex. He's not the type to wait long, but he said he usually waited longer than that though. He's not really a ONS kind of guy and felt that it's less likely to last. Although at the same time if it took longer than 3 months he would give up and be done.

His highschool sweetheart had been a virgin and it took a few months before she was ready and the sex was so boring with her that towards the end of the 2½-3 years that they dated that he didn't even really want it anymore. I don't know the exact time between everyone else he slept with but I believe most of the others were ready to go pretty quick. He didn't ask me for sex, it happened.

I would say it's probably better to wait a little bit. You are probably more likely to have better sex if you know someone a little bit. Kinda a toss up if it's gonna be good or not if you jump into bed the night you meet. Although we had a real connection obviously and felt like we knew each other. I dumped the guy I had been seeing and he dumped his girlfriend the day we met and we moved in together a few days after we had sex. That was 23 years ago.

If I were single now I would wait till I knew someone. Wouldn't take long. But I'm not young anymore. Just getting basic sex wouldn't cut it. Back in the day (age 19-20) I had worse sex from guys much older than I did from my husband who is actually younger than me by half a year. I wouldn't tolerate bad sex now. Hopefully I'm never single again until it's time to die. I don't want to have sex with anyone else.

AllelWasHere · 2025-07-15T19:59:59+00:00

A rare green flag!

ChironGhostHugger · 2025-07-15T21:00:33+00:00

I would be a little irritated, but I'd tolerate it. But my irritation would be also if it wasn't for his comfort, and was a statement on my character (ex. "you're a "lady" and I don't want to make you feel dirty") so it's fine if he wants to do it for himself. But if it's for me, that's not going to fly.

DXBrigade · 2025-07-16T08:08:55+00:00

I prefer it that way. Men who rush to have sex are a turnoff.

obviouslymoose · 2025-07-17T01:05:03+00:00

Everyone should be comfortable

RecognitionSoft9973 · 2025-07-17T05:38:02+00:00

I don’t think it would deter me too much. I think it’s logical. Some negative part of my brain may worry that I am being used as a placeholder as he pursues other women… but I’d shake off that feeling. It’s not likely for a man in that situation to use something like this as his excuse anyhow

flipsidetroll · 2025-07-15T16:03:45+00:00

Making someone “wait” before you Indulge in casual sex is not your problem, it’s the fact that you have an unhealthy relationship with casual sex. All you would be doing is prolonging the inevitable. Getting to know someone doesn’t make it any less casual. That seems like you are just using waiting as a way to prove it’s not casual.

Title	What do you think of a guy making you wait for sex?
Author	SurroundWide447
Upvotes	18
Comments	138
Date	July 15, 2025 2:58 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1m0k0gi/what_do_you_think_of_a_guy_making_you_wait_for_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-you-think-of-a-guy-making-you-wait-for-sex.1557211 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557211

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