Anyone come out NOT broke?

skat3bros · 2026-02-07T09:13:42+00:00

My lawyer can pay his kids college this year

Eric242 · 2026-02-04T01:51:16+00:00

So far so good tiptoeing by the graveyard. She hasn’t filed.

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-02-03T17:38:10+00:00

We all finish divorce with less than we had. I was nearly 50 and I lost half of my retirement accounts. I paid $24k for my half of the divorce. It's not all doom and gloom though. Six months after divorce I got a new job with the flexibility I needed to parent my two children. Five years post-divorce and I made 50% more income. Eight years post-divorce and I'm doing great financially. I won't be in the poor house in my 60s. Divorce is a hell of a motivator.

RiseNo3399 · 2026-02-01T22:29:40+00:00

Sea_Recognition7635 · 2026-02-03T15:52:33+00:00

Yes, me. Sort of. Still waiting on my 3rd contempt hearing tho.

Nighthawk2824 · 2026-02-03T15:19:41+00:00

Yup, used a mediator and my ex didn’t want shit from me for some reason. I actually have more money now than I did when we were together, crazy how that works, right.

engineered-chemistry · 2026-02-03T03:27:19+00:00

Walked away with half of net assets. High spousal support for 2 years then trails off for 4 more. Child support is what it is for 50/50. When my youngest goes to school next year it’ll be better not paying for daycare. I’m not broke but for the first time in my life I look for sales at grocery stores and ask if I really need to spend $20 on something. It’s weird not having thousands of dollars in disposable income but my life is much more peaceful.

Suspicious_Ad_6271 · 2026-02-02T19:53:21+00:00

I was extremely lucky that my ex was still in her affair fog and just wanted to live like a 25 year old. I got the kids, the house, kept my 401k, kept 100% of my military pension, and paid no alimony beyond one year of $500 bucks a month. We split the bank account 50-50 and I have to split proceeds if I ever sell the house. I am NEVER selling the house.

Reflog1791 · 2026-02-02T19:53:00+00:00

I paid out the ass. But all my moves were focused on long term cash flow. Like many in the comments my ex was a spendthrift. With my long term cash flow moves and getting my ex off my payroll (other than state guideline CS), I came out smelling like roses. Now I get to go on three golf vacations of my choosing per year. It’s quite lovely.

If you had an ex constantly bringing your “joint” checking to 0, divorce is a godsend for your financial health.

soontobesolo · 2026-02-02T19:24:13+00:00

I did fine, as we earned similar amounts.

Johnny69Vegas · 2026-02-02T17:36:24+00:00

Depends when in life you get divorced and if you're only talking about money and physical things.

UrAristotle · 2026-02-02T16:50:23+00:00

Didn’t go broke. Gave up more than I felt I should, but we did supposedly 50-50. Attorneys were the most sunk costs.

Once she was gone, I found out how much money we were just straight wasting. On my one salary I can now put plenty of money away.

Proper_Perception753 · 2026-02-02T16:27:01+00:00

Yes, people do get through divorce without ending up financially wrecked, but it usually doesn’t happen by accident. The ones who come out “okay” (not untouched, but stable) tend to do a few things early:

• They get clear on the real numbers, not guesses
• They don’t make emotional money decisions out of anger, guilt, or fear
• They protect cash flow, not just assets
• They avoid “I’ll show them” legal battles that burn money
• They pay attention to taxes, debt, and long-term costs, not just the settlement number

A lot of people focus only on “what am I getting?” instead of “what will this actually cost me to live afterward?”

Breaking even on paper doesn’t always mean stable in real life if:

support is high
debt is uneven
income fluctuates
legal fees keep climbing

The goal in divorce is not to “win.” It’s to come out functional, solvent, and able to rebuild. If you are already running numbers, you are ahead of most people. Just keep your decisions tied to long-term stability, not short-term emotion.

Also, one thing people learn the hard way: your attorney handles the legal side, not the long-term financial strategy. Lawyers are essential, but they are not usually digging into cash flow, tax impact, future lifestyle costs, or how today’s decisions affect you five years from now. That’s a different lane.

A lot of people focus only on the legal fight and underestimate how much a divorce-focused financial professional can help them avoid expensive mistakes.

Just-aMidwestGuy · 2026-02-02T14:51:05+00:00

Not broke. We split everything 50-50.

Decent_Camp8065 · 2026-02-02T14:43:25+00:00

I didn’t go broke, but we didn’t fight much in court and I drastically cut my spending for about a year afterwards until everything stabilized. That’s the key. You can’t keep living like you were in most cases or you’ll go broke.

Terrible-Mind2633 · 2026-02-02T13:24:01+00:00

not literally broke but lost some money, I did lose in many ways that were worse than money.

Tvelt17 · 2026-02-02T13:17:53+00:00

I did not end up broke.

My mortgage payment went up after I bought her out... damn interest rates... but I'm OK.

leaving4me · 2026-02-02T12:59:45+00:00

She was the higher earner. I walked away netting my investment into that 15 year marriage after a needless and expensive battle that cost her far more then I. It was the experience and wisdom of those around me that kept me grounded in making smart business-like decisions rather than fighting out of emotion.

nutscrape · 2026-02-02T05:49:01+00:00

I planned it pretty deeply with all my ducks in a row and an even split. She asked for some changes, and I acquiesced with counter offers and trades.

What helped a lot was having everything ready. I preplanned and knew immediately what I was giving up and getting in any offer and could recognize favorable trades and unfavorable trades. The few missteps were the times I responded without analyzing first. If you're not sure, delay giving an answer.

Don't forget, if things are bad, the priceless outcome is extacting yourself from the situation. (And getting your kids through it with the least damage.)

Accomplished_Tie5233 · 2026-02-02T05:23:02+00:00

$540 child support. I did all the process myself. I stood in front of the judge myself. I’ve been meaning to post my experience but just not sure it will be meaningful

reclaimDad · 2026-02-02T03:48:22+00:00

Yeah, some do. Not a ton, but it happens.

The guys I’ve seen come out okay weren’t doing anything clever — they just moved slower than they felt like they should. Most of the financial damage I’ve watched wasn’t the divorce itself, it was rushed decisions and agreeing to things without really seeing the long-term math.

If you’re breaking even on paper right now, that’s actually a decent place to start. The early goal is less about “winning” and more about not making expensive, irreversible calls while everything’s loud.

A friend of mine found it helpful to use a few simple clarity resources during the process — not advice, just ways to think through choices when emotions are high. Happy to share if you want.

(You’re asking the right question)

Flapique · 2026-02-02T02:59:34+00:00

I have money but definitely a lot less...

omenoracle · 2026-02-02T02:43:43+00:00

I came out ok. Maybe 60/40 her. I conceded more than maybe I should have during mediation because I was still afraid of her out bursts. She made more the last 3-4 years of the marriage and brought a home into it though. It’s been 11 months since I left. Bought a new house with a 401k withdrawal. Moving my parents in so I can take care of them as they age. 50/50 custody. Life goes on. Might try going on some dates this year. Might just be done. We’ll see. Keep your chin up and gray rock that shit.

**Left = moved out. She initiated.

Legitimate-Corgi · 2026-02-02T02:39:37+00:00

I mean I gotta write a big check to buy out equity and keep the house but it helps a lot we had no debt except the mortgage and she had well over double what I did in retirement and checking/savings. So the buyout isn’t as bad as I first imagined and I get to keep the house in the end. It’s not quite finalized yet tho so fingers crossed.

Minimum_Step5048 · 2026-02-02T01:55:45+00:00

It seems like generally the wives feel a need to drain the man of any resources they can, even if they come out worse for it. They have an intense need to inflict pain on being “wronged”

nerdzilla16 · 2026-02-02T01:42:21+00:00

I mean, I won’t be broke entirely. Though, I have my parents helping a lot

smc0881 · 2026-02-02T01:12:41+00:00

I wouldn't say not broke, but I made out 'ok' I suppose. I owned my home before, but she was entitled to the equity increase while married. I pretty much agreed to whatever she wanted to keep her cheating, lying, and greedy ass away from my home equity and 401k equity. I had to take all the debt, pay off the car, give her the car, and 2K a month of alimony for a year. It's been a little over six years and my house has increased by like 200k, my 401k 100K, and my salary has increased by 85k. More importantly, I got my sanity back which was priceless. I see everyone throw around the term 'gaslighting' and it bothers me, because 95% of those people probably never experienced it in real life. I spent a long time doubting my sanity and thinking I was this terrible person.

Terrible_Lift · 2026-02-02T01:12:29+00:00

If you can walk away with your sanity, your emotions, and your forward path intact then you’ll be alright.

For many of us, we get to pick one or two out of the three

mesi130 · 2026-02-02T01:12:01+00:00

Took me 10 years to get out of the hole

Venum555 · 2026-02-02T01:03:23+00:00

I was told of my divorce in November of 2025 and got the decree in December of 2025. Hoping to have the house sold soon. Got about 50% of our total networth and splitting the house equity 50/50 so should end up in a really good position. "Our" original plan was to FIRE by 2035 and looking like I'll be able to make that solo.

Vapor_117 · 2026-02-02T00:51:27+00:00

Nope - but you can always make money . And it’s worth your peace in the long run

ShaunyP_OKC · 2026-02-02T00:47:07+00:00

I did pretty good overall.

aquatone61 · 2026-02-02T00:36:20+00:00

Sure as heck not me lol. I’ll be working till I’m dead most likely.

North-Permit-1021 · 2026-02-02T00:16:11+00:00

having structures helps , so you won't have to guess what will happen

heartbroke8 · 2026-02-02T00:05:25+00:00

I had a prenuptial agreement. While I could’ve enforced the infidelity clause of the prenup and gotten $100k (she was the one who insisted on putting the clause in), I chose to forego it in exchange for keeping the rest of the prenup intact. Also got 100% custody of the kid, no alimony and no child support (since I have the kid). So walked away with basically everything that was mine including my retirement funds, properties, cash, investments etc

survivingtheyellowbr · 2026-02-02T00:01:38+00:00

Yes. man some do.

Most don’t come out ahead, but plenty don’t come out broke either. The key is accepting early that breaking even is a win. The guys who get crushed are usually fighting the past—emotionally and financially.

Once I stopped trying to “save” the old life and focused on building the next one, the numbers got clearer. Cut expenses fast, pick your battles, don’t let ego drive legal decisions.

You won’t walk away untouched. But you can walk away solvent, sane, and able to rebuild.

And honestly? That’s success.

Puzzleheaded_Monk_39 · 2026-02-02T00:01:09+00:00

Unless she’s worth more you’re always losing some. The best way to look at it is what is the price of freedom? And if they were just stay at home blood suckers and not working and spending a ton then you can calculate savings once alimony is done. I’m actually retiring early now since I just have to pay her a couple years and child support which is a wash for me since my kids would have used that amount anyways. So it’s all profit in a few years.

Coffeecankicker · 2026-02-01T23:58:53+00:00

I was broke starting. She took all the money and got possession of the house. I’m managing but living conditions are shit. I’ll be through this someday.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-02-01T23:58:48+00:00

Good luck if you are the main breadwinner and have kids.

BigBubbaMac · 2026-02-01T23:45:18+00:00

It's looking ok for me. She's going to get half of the assets and thats ok. I'll buy her out of the house with my half. Which might bring it down to zero but I'll be able to rebuild starting immediately.

The house I own is in another state and I'm renting where we are getting divorced. I'm asking the judge to move back to the state where the house is due to cost of living benefits for the kids. If that gets denied I'll move into a cheaper rental and collect rent on the other house.

acg34 · 2026-02-01T23:39:28+00:00

My credit score went up over 200 points.

Organic_Plant6757 · 2026-02-01T23:20:58+00:00

It cost me a fortune and after 3 years, I am way better. She was the hole in the bucket and after I took over my financial situation, the recovery was short.

Calm_Tomato · 2026-02-01T23:04:15+00:00

I went into survival mode for the the first few years. Budgeted like a maniac, didn’t date, cut 401k to the bare minimum, no eating out, etc. once the payments eased up a bit I started rebuilding everything.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2026-02-01T22:59:45+00:00

Yeah. And my income tripled after I cut the anchor

H3110_T43R3 · 2026-02-01T22:54:26+00:00

Not at all

serkovavantgarden · 2026-02-01T22:51:58+00:00

I came out better off than I went into my marriage as I made a tidy profit on the house sale.

Managed to snag myself a great wee flat out of it and my outgoings are considerably less than when I was married.

Divorces are all about leverage mate. Not all men are going to be divorce bummed.

ExcellentCup3100 · 2026-02-01T22:32:48+00:00

Break even is often the best-case scenario. If you get stuck with alimony or child support, it can make basic survival difficult unless you have a really good income.

Title	Anyone come out NOT broke?
Author	No-Transition1609
Upvotes	29
Comments	91
Date	February 1, 2026 10:23 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qtcsrm/anyone_come_out_not_broke/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anyone-come-out-not-broke.1572498 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572498

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