Are a lot of mental health issue due to the way society associates worth with physical attractiveness?

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-04-23T00:58:51+00:00

I think thats part of it but the other part is that society keeps people spiritually atrophied so there is no inner strength and direction unless people take the time to seek it themselves.

When all you do is go to work/ school and then come home and watch TV/Netflix, browse social media for memes, and/or go out with your friends and talk about whatever, that leaves no time for people to be in their heads asking themselves the bigger questions. They can escape into the world and leave their inner world totally dead, which means that their mental health suffers because they have no way to cope except maybe through sex, drugs and more escapism.

thisishello69 · 2021-04-22T23:37:41+00:00

Yes, statistics about short men are a blatant example (e.g. suicide rates).

ogres_r_like_onions · 2021-04-22T23:30:06+00:00

The whole thing is fucked up anyway. Uncle Ted wrote about this in industrial society and its future. Almost the entire world we live in contributes to depression and mental health issues.

Our prehistoric ancestors had more liesure time, less worries about the future (because the technology to even build a future didnt exist), a more tribal communal "help each other out" type society surrounded by sympathetic relatives, egalitarianism, self-sufficiency, constant contact with nature, etc etc. Granted, there was a lot more death and endemic violence... but better to live a short life of pleasure and following your passions then meet an abrupt end, than to endure this bleak 80 year slog, I think.

Social media is just the latest in a long line of unavoidable scourges upon the human psyche... we are, or were, in a war between the giant organism that is Society and human nature. Society needs us to be obedient worker bees slaving in cubicles being as productive as possible 24/7... it isn't good for us, but it's good for the system, so we live neurotic insular lives of specialization and constant frenetic activity instead of actually enjoying life. Ads and cultural programming ensure we remain on the rat race treadmill by pressing just the right endorphin/fear buttons to get us moving... sooner or later the AIs realize the last step in its quest for efficiency is to eliminate all of us and replace us with robots... it will happen gradually, but yeah, it WILL happen.

Just relax and enjoy the decline bro, it will all be over soon enough.

trueanonymousperson · 2021-04-23T02:40:53+00:00

I think that in the past, one would compare themselves to say the people in their town. A person might compare themselves and aspire to be like the top 1% of their town. Whereas now, with social media, one compares oneself to instagram models, influencers and generally the top 1% of society in the entire world - which is a much higher standard than 1% of a town.

And the comparison isn't just to instagram models and influencers, people generally compare their imperfect experiences in life to the "perfect" lifestyles shown on curated instagram feeds.

It is easy to see profile after profile full of smiling photos, friends, travel destinations and then look at your life with its ups and downs, and think there is something wrong with you - while in reality the people you are seeing in these profiles are going through their own problems in life which they will never post about.

It's a bit of a RP-truth, but the reason influencers act the way they do, and attract so much attention is that people are always chasing the idea of a perfect life. If they were to "get real", yes some people might respect them more for that, but the illusion of a perfect life is shattered - that will harm their brand and the allure of their profiles, and since quite a lot of them make money from instagram/other social media that will have financial consequences.

When photoshop came out, we had the "unrealistic beauty standards" crisis - now with instagram we have the "unrealistic life standards" crisis!

iamthemovie1992 · 2021-04-23T00:30:08+00:00

Most likely. We put a lot of our self worth on our looks, simply because other people do. You got men going under the knife more than ever just to get a right swipe. If there wasn’t such value in it, then plastic surgery just wouldn’t be a thing .

mandathor · 2021-04-23T07:58:23+00:00

A lot of women greatly overestimate what society judge as physically attractive. It's almost a neurotic self-centeredness, just fucking snap out of it. Mostly all women look good even if you don't look 10/10. Why do you think that person is a model in the first place? Not everyone can have that same beauty, and its not a standard, why the fuck would you think that....

Women, every single one of you can have casual sex and sexual attention almost at any time you want. Whats your problem? I don't get it. "Oh, look at that hot girl on the billboard, i can't be like her", jesus christ...

A man much more easily becomes unattractive in a womans eyes, I'd say to them this is a much more serious issue. But you mostly hear the "standard/pressure" thing from women.

So basically the woman is angry at the beauty standard she believes society sets, is able to get sexual attention and attractiveness confirmation very easily, and they themselves judge men very harshly on looks and intelligence. It's a crazy clown world

Brainless-Wonder · 2021-04-23T12:14:48+00:00

Yes.

Body dysmorphia and eating disorders are a perfect example of this in women.

Suicide and substance abuse are perfect examples of this in men. I’ll also throw a hot take in there: violent crimes also probably have some degree of trying to maintain the appearance of physical attractiveness (“if I demonstrate I can beat the shit out of this guy I am now the dominant male, here here ladies”).

Not sure who’s got higher rates of depression but I’ll wager it’s men at this point given how underreported it is.

GridReXX · 2021-04-23T00:52:28+00:00

Maybe for unattractive people whose major woe in life is that.

But I know for a fact the cause of depression / anxiety for nearly all of the people I know doesn’t stem from attractiveness solely.

It’s : racism, ableism, bigotry, poverty, sexual assault, childhood molestation, abusive parents or adults in their life as kids, raising kids, not being able to have kids, having kids too early, spouse isn’t helpful, feeling like they have no passions, feeling like life is a rat race, having too many pressures, having no desires, losing friends, people they love dying, medical health, money, clinically diagnosed mental illnesses like BD/schizophrenia, etc.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2021-04-22T23:23:23+00:00

Would body positivity lead to better mental health? Yes, probably. I don't think it's so much about "being ok with being unattractive" as it is about self-acceptance and self-awareness of what your limits are.

Additional article: https://www.webmd.com/depression/news/20201214/too-much-social-media-time-could-raise-risk-of-depression

Also, something to keep in mind with social media is that it's people's highlight reels. You can't ever feel good about yourself if you are comparing actual lived experience to someone's highlight reels.

velvetunderground111 · 2021-04-23T03:08:47+00:00

Your perception of your SMV probably has A LOT to do with your mental health and self image. For example, I hated myself as a kid, but women really liked me 20-34ish. This had a profound effect on how happy I was. I started to view myself in a totally different way. This also explains how a so-called "Stacy" could have totally low self image: maybe she compares herself to Instagram models, so it's always an upward comparison. SMV and your perception of it is massive, and with the internet and the last 3-5 years, we are really talking about it A LOT. This is probably the most self-aware generation that is coming up. Incels know they are incels; hot young women know they can sell feet pixx on Onlyfans.

Bandit174 · 2021-04-23T00:10:47+00:00

Probably true.

What do you think- would there be less depression in society if people could be okay with being unattractive and didn’t feel as though it made them less worthy in society?

In theory yes, but I don't see that as realistic. Beauty bias is deeply ingrained in us so much so that even babies have shown bias towards conventionally beautiful faces/bodies. How you look ultimately does affect how people value and treat you as well as how easily you can navigate the sex/dating market. I don't think it's possible to make it so people who aren't conventionally attractive are equal to those who are. To me the only solution is to get to the point where cosmetic surgery allows a larger % of people to fix themselves to fall within the idealized range on most traits. The most devastating part about beauty standards is how much of them are currently out of your control usually because they are related to bone structure. If we were able to more safely and precisely change the dimensions of our bones I think that would improve people's confidence in their appearance.

Sid_Insidious · 2021-04-23T03:32:29+00:00

We're supposed to be all "woke" now but we're really just doubled down on the most shallow, superficial aspects of human nature.

Social media, like the internet, didn't ruin humans - it just showed us our true nature. We're still driven by our fucking brain stems to pursue what is pleasing to our eyes.

Just like feminism didn't ruin women, but merely drag their true nature into the light of day.

Women are hypergamous never-satisfied socialists.

haikusbot · 2021-04-23T06:13:57+00:00

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2021-04-23T01:10:44+00:00

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analt223 · 2021-04-23T07:24:58+00:00

The internet is responsible for almost all the worlds problems today. I can see secular value to the tower of babel

OscarMatzerath · 2021-04-23T16:03:11+00:00

I think there are many people much more physically unattractive than me who have much better lives

2021-04-23T21:04:15+00:00

It's a small world after all

2021-04-22T23:30:58+00:00

Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Most of us have our basic needs met and are now grappling with self-actualization.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-04-23T02:31:01+00:00

I think social media and pervasive cosmetic procedures have made it worse for sure, and beauty standards have skyrocketed over the past 10 years. I look back on early 2000s-2010s stars and teen idols and think “wow we really thought these people were so hot when we were kids and wanted to look like them, and now they are still cute but look almost average.”

However, people have never been okay with being unattractive and probably never will be. There have always been pretty people and ugly people. That’s just a fact of nature. So that’s the good part about access to cosmetic surgery and things to make us look better. It’s a double-edged sword.

crookedsummer2019 · 2021-04-22T23:41:02+00:00

I would venture that the people who post filtered and curated versions of themselves are more likely to have depression than the average person who doesn’t post like that.

Look at how fast Khloe Kardashian responded to a pic leaked of her without filters and photo shop. I can’t imagine what it’s like mentality to try to live up to a look you don’t actually have in real life.

That’s why I like to see those ‘this is what I really look like’ pics to remind us that no one really looks like that and good lighting and filters can make anyone look like a 10/10.

It’s all smoke and mirrors. I think more young women and men are seeing it for what it is.

pimoflex69 · 2021-04-23T09:44:33+00:00

People need to get out of society's head and into their own

SaBahRub · 2021-04-23T02:04:05+00:00

Why do you think the body positivity movement started, huh?

Despite what men here assert, it wasn’t a conspiiiiiiiiracy to force men to fuck fat women. It was in response to all the high profile eating disorders of the 80s and 90s

GoldenSmoothie85 · 2021-04-23T02:50:38+00:00

I’m a model and I think I’m as attractive as other models. However, sometimes I get nervous about posting because I get anxious of whether my overall picture will look just as dope/cool as my peers. Not so much about it I’m super attractive physically.

back_againx13 · 2021-04-23T01:08:56+00:00

I've been struggling with an eating disorder for 13 years, and society's obsession with appearances has definitely been a factor in why I developed the ED in the first place and why it's been so, so fucking hard to get over it. I've been bulimic for 10 of those 13 years, and, while I rarely do any bulimic behaviors, the thinking feels almost impossible to overcome. I will be doing fine for awhile, but there is always a time when I've just eaten a meal or something (the sensation of being full is really triggering) and we'll be watching tv and there will be gratuitous nudity or something like that which causes my internal monologue to plummet. It makes it that much harder to battle the voice in my head that tells me to puke or starve myself. (FYI: my weight is totally average and healthy now, it's just that my brain refuses to acknowledge that.)

On a related note, I recently ran across an article about a study that showed a correlation between a boyfriend's/husband's use of pornography and an increase in disordered eating habits by their female partners. (Here's a link. ) Apparently the average porn actress is ~48 lbs lighter than an average adult woman - yikes. This issue doesn't impact me personally because my husband doesn't watch porn, but if he did I would probably be devastated.

So, in my personal experience, yes - some mental health issues have a link to our intense focus on the way we look.

ArnolduAkbar · 2021-04-23T04:26:20+00:00

YES, I'm not there... yet but going from massively obese and playing video games 16 hours a day knowing how I feel inside and how I perceive others to look at me then juxtaposing that with how people light up at the mere presence of someone attractive, yes yes yes. I'm still working on a lot of things but man, the sheer difference in treatment. It's ok, I traded a video game addiction for the gym and being a degenerate "investor" and trader.

I'll speak for the person I used to be as well as the friends I had on there. You are just stuck in a hole and at some point, you don't even wanna leave it.

Keep fighting gravity and time ladies! It's a fight you'll lose but do everything you can! Men, accept the odds. The pros (if you try like me instead of wallowing in a game) outweigh the cons (short, 80/20, burden of asking/rejection).

Depression is part of the game! Keep farming your gold, armor, and weapons! Comparing your stats/gear is just something you can't not do if you wanna see progress and have a goal. Like WoW, it never really ends!

buntyisbest · 2021-04-23T10:13:41+00:00

I think that's true particularly for young people - teenagers and young adults. The older you get, however, the less you tend to care about how society interprets physical attractiveness. Just my opinion.

FreierSteinkopf · 2021-04-22T23:54:56+00:00

Mental health issues increase mostly in women. Social media certainly has an impact espicially on young women. I'd say pressure on women in the working force or other things heavily damage female psyche too.

We don't really see a damaging effect on men eventhough we are hit with the same pictures of often unattainable male bodies and wealth.

We are already taught everywhere that looks shouldn't matter and shallow people aren't worth it etc. It doesn't work because we know for a fact how important it is. So clearly our efforts to make ugly people feel better bear no fruits.

I don't think it's in any way realistic to assume that people are willingly destroying their chances in the dating market by avoiding makeup too. A #nomakeup movement or something would definitely fail.

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JimBeamAndCoke2016 · 2021-04-23T02:17:42+00:00

There's more stigma attached to being unattractive, these days, especially for men. Everything seems to be focused on good looks.

bigdaveyl · 2021-04-23T10:05:16+00:00

I would say that is one cause of issues. I mean if you're less attractive, you may have self esteem/self image issues.

I can't speak to how common this is.

Flintblood · 2021-04-23T12:16:47+00:00

Attractiveness hire he’s are just one part. Social status, which is affected by other things like physical attractiveness and resources, but I’m primarily thinking charm and the ability to be a social butterfly, and access to financial capital, all contribute to mental health issues. I’m primarily referring to the west. The west may not appear to have an caste system but it does nurture a powerful social stratification caste system.

Extremely__Moderate · 2021-04-23T12:41:13+00:00

“Being attractive is the most important thing there is
If you wanna catch the biggest fish in your pond
You have to be as attractive as possible
Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean
Wash it at least every two weeks
Once every two weeks
And if you see Johnny football hero in the hall
Tell him he played a great game
Tell him you like his article in the newspaper”. —- Nada Surf, 1995

Late_Language1908 · 2021-04-23T13:02:18+00:00

I think it has a lot to do with conditioning too.

I'm 27, admittedly not old or young but growing up I was incredibly socially awkward having almost zero friends in HS and a few in college. Given that I wasn't really invested in social media, posting pictures, etc. So for me social media isn't something I "grew up" with.

Like I didn't even get my first phone until I was 19.

But I have cousins who are like 7 - 15 years old and they're already talking about likes, social media stars & have access to social media. So they're way more exposed to this stuff at a much earlier age & it makes total sense as to why the upcoming generation would be heavily affected by this.

And the attraction thing will hit them as soon as they're of age to care.

So if it seems bleak now, I see it being EVEN worse as time goes on as you add more & more vulnerable people to this equation.

Pretty yikes whenever I think about this. As much as I love my YouTube Pokemon content & Reddit, I often wonder if the price is worth it lol.

Gerealtor · 2021-04-23T13:26:12+00:00

I think a lot of the less "unusual" ones, anxiety and depression mainly, definitely are affected by that. Not sure if I agree that the issue is worse with social media or whether it's just more highlighted and people are more likely to put a mental health label on what they're dealing with now than back in the day. Surely, lots of people struggled with the same issues for the same reasons a hundred years ago, but they just weren't exposed to as much information about diagnosies and psychiatric help; you just dealt with it or accepted your fate, pretty much.

But I do think a lot of things like depression have a lot more to do with physical attractiveness than people are willing to admit. There's a need to have it be a "deeper" issue and have the superficial aspects be "a symptom of an underlying lack of basic selfworth". You'd be hard up to find a therapist who'll flat out say "you're overweight and it makes you feel unattractive and that has a negative influence on your daily happiness and that's literally all it is" or something of that sort. But often, that is a huge part of it. And treating the symptom (= depression) instead of the issue (being fat in this example) isn't going to help in the long run because deep down the person knows that it doesn't matter how many times they tell themselves their curves are beautiful if the rest of the world doesn't act accordingly. Especially in countries with a huge obesity epidemic, I can imagine depression as a result of weight issues is a huuuge thing.

Platinirism · 2021-04-23T13:40:33+00:00

I personally feel happier after a shower/haircut/nice clean clothes. But that’s just me.

daysinnroom203 · 2021-04-23T15:01:50+00:00

PMmeareasontolive · 2021-04-23T16:49:46+00:00

Could we do differently? This reminds me of an article by Cary Tennis;
" Most of us are only really lovely for a few short years in childhood. But not so for the beautiful. In the day-to-day world, where most of us lose so much of ourselves and are granted so little in the way of courtesy and love, the pretty person absorbs love out of the air, off the street, in the stores, absorbs love like a child cared for by a loving mother and an adoring family whose faces light up every time she enters the room. The beautiful are constantly absorbing love from the world in a way that is scarcely recognizable to others and even to herself -- for has it not always been this way? "

Juko007 · 2021-04-23T18:29:01+00:00

Most mental health issues do have a hereditary component (schizophrenia, anxiety disorders, depression, addictive tendencies). If and how these components are expressed in an individual largely depends on circumstancial factors, with some factors buffering against them (social interconnection, a secure environment, little stress, good diet, routines) while others benefit them (stress, social isolation, too little sleep, no exercise etc.). Feeling accepted and well incorporated in your social environment is probabaly THE biggest protective factor against mental health symptoms (social capital). Looks are a primary determinant of how easily you can build satisfying social relationships. So yes, it does have an effect, but probably less than you'd think given that there are 1000s of other factors playing a role as well.

Pickled_Tink_Tea · 2021-04-24T01:03:24+00:00

I think so, especially if you look at the way photos are manipulated to make people appear to be physically superior.

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2021-04-25T07:52:04+00:00

I'd assume so.

violetskies7 · 2021-04-22T23:41:42+00:00

of course. it’s a contributor- not the only one, but one of many. just remember that beauty is subjective, though.

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-04-22T23:55:28+00:00

For the ugly people who have mental illness, I’m sure it’s a contributor

But plenty of attractive and/or successful people also suffer from mental illness, so I don’t think they’re closely aligned in terms of the cause. It just probably contributes to the ongoing issue

alrightpal · 2021-04-23T01:37:12+00:00

I’m bipolar because both of my parents are heavy alcoholics. I don’t think I have it because I let my beer belly have a pass since I meet vertical requirements. Who fuckin knows lol

reluctantly_red · 2021-04-23T01:48:29+00:00

My most messed-up clients are all at least decent looking. Some of them are really attractive.

cloudsongs_ · 2021-04-23T02:30:59+00:00

I think when I was younger, yes I felt there was a pressure to be more active on social media, take pictures to update my life so it looked like I actually had a life, and that I looked good. Now, that I'm older I don't think that anymore. Like I know that social media only shows one aspect of a person's life and that the beauty standards held up by social media aren't beauty standards I need to abide by.

But I don't think the unhappiness is because of feeling unattractive only? That's just a symptom of a bigger problem: low self esteem. If you constantly look at social media thinking "look how everyone is so accomplished and happy. My life is nothing like that. There must be something wrong with me" you will undoubtedly feel unattractive and unhappy.

Soon-to-be-Catlady · 2021-04-23T08:48:45+00:00

In my personal case it plays a huge role. I've suffered from body dysmorphia since I was 16 (thinking I am fat though have never been overweight) and that has led to eating disorders, anxiety and depression. But other factors played into it later in life as well.

Estate_Soggy · 2021-04-23T09:46:36+00:00

Absolutely not. I am conveniently attractive and I have a fuck ton of issues right now. It’s all genetic for me

Letmetellyouabtlyfe · 2021-04-23T09:46:51+00:00

Of course it would be less pressure n depression if it weren't for those ideals. But society won't change anytime soon. It's always going to prioritize good looks. But only u can choose to free yourself from those ideals but not completely BC u r dealing with ppl n society that do prioritize it. So I guess u can limit it to some extent in your personal life

Title	Are a lot of mental health issue due to the way society associates worth with physical attractiveness?
Author	smallgardenfairy
Upvotes	151
Comments	301
Date	April 22, 2021 11:14 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/mwhjjl/are_a_lot_of_mental_health_issue_due_to_the_way/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-a-lot-of-mental-health-issue-due-to-the-way.761749 https://theredarchive.com/post/761749

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