I was thinking about this lately after I recently reorganized my jewelry box to make room for some new pieces.

I divorced my ex many years ago, when my daughter was a baby.

At the time, my LVM ex asked for the diamond ring back, saying he planned to have a professional jeweler make it into a necklace for our daughter’s 16th birthday. I thought this was a noble use for the ring, and I loved the idea of my daughter getting something beautiful from her dad for her Sweet Sixteenth, so I gave it back to him.🤡🤡🤡

Yeah, he never did that. Her 16th birthday came and went, and she never received a diamond necklace from her dad. In fact, as far as I can tell, he’s never given my daughter a gift of any kind for any occasion. He almost immediately shacked up with a PickMe while my daughter was still very young, and she’s been buying the gifts and managing special occasions ever since. To this day, I have no idea what happened to the ring.

I could’ve sold that ring for grocery money. I could’ve pawned it to pay for college books. My daughter and I were struggling financially for years, living in poverty while I worked through college. I had every legal and moral right to keep the ring and do whatever I needed to do to put food on the table. Engagement rings are intended to give the bride (me) financial security in the event of a broken marriage, and I should’ve used it as such.

I was a 🤡, ladies. Don’t be like me. Level up. Never give back a ring, or any other valuables given to you in a relationship.

If it is still acceptable for a man to view marriage as getting a Nanny McBangmaid for life, then it’s just as acceptable for you to keep the ring as collateral when you decide you no longer want to be his Nanny McBangmaid.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Edit: You have a legal right to keep your engagement ring in the event of a divorce. Use it to protect yourself and your children while escaping a toxic marriage.