Some level of “creepiness” amongst men is acceptable.

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2021-06-10T19:19:11+00:00

Creepiness is not objective. An action is deemed creepy depending on who does it. It might be considered a charming surprise or harassment.

I think the problem of this current radical filtering is that it is mostly the obnoxious fucks who can't help themselves try to engage anymore. Men who don't want to offend women are reluctant.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-06-10T19:31:38+00:00

I think the real problem is that women can’t tell creepy from “man I’m not interested in is interested in me” or “man I’m not sure about is too sure about me”. I see it all the time:

dude doesn’t like chick, which means she is intrigued why he doesn’t like her…
maybe she continues to increase her ‘boldness’ to see if he’s just “playing hard to get” (a woman’s game)
Guy is horny and the chick who is trying to figure out if he’s playing a game decides to sleep with him to see if he’s actually interested (or to show him that she’s cool AND down to fuck if he sees her as a buddy)
Guy is still not interested, but isn’t horny anymore.
Girl feels used

This never happens to a guy who shows he’s interested and that nothing she can do will dissuade him from being interested besides bluntly saying “I’m not interested and never will be”… but more often than not, that eliminates a simp/attention so she won’t do it.

Some guys take this further and continue pursuing after being told “no… and never”. These are the actual creeps. Not the guys who girls are too immature to be blunt with.

fdslied2U · 2021-06-10T23:58:18+00:00

Men have already responded in this exact fashion. Look up this years tinder statistics and you'll be amazed. But despite that women are still convinced that shaming men for being men will get them a high quality man somehow. When men who are of average, below average and even above average have decided the juice isnt worth the squeeze. Dont believe me? Check out kevin Samuels, women call into his show desperate to get into his hand picked Facebook group of high quality men. Only to find out they themselves (the woman) is not qualified

rft24 · 2021-06-10T19:51:58+00:00

what you described isn’t creepy, that sounds like flirting.

creepy is following me to my car or my house when i don’t know you like that.

creepy is giving me things i didn’t ask for and then getting angry when i don’t give attention or a sexual favor in return.

creepy is groping me and assuming it’s okay because you’re attractive or because we’re on a date.

creepy is harassing me on multiple different social media platforms because i wouldn’t fuck you on the first date.

creepy is memorizing my phone number after i confirmed it with the secretary at my clinic, then using it to try to ask me out.

creepy is the bellboy memorizing my fucking room number and coming up once every day or calling the phone in the room (only whenever he knew my brother wasn’t there with me, mind you) just to ask if i wanna “hang out.”

creepy is my uncle’s old ass friends telling me i’m sexy now that i’m all grown up, and trying to get at me.

creepy is the dudes that approach me walking on the street, assuming i’m a child because i look like any one of the kids from the nearby middle school.

that is creepy, not what you’re saying.

WarfarinMD · 2021-06-10T19:13:25+00:00

I'm always overly cautious because I don't want to make them uncomfortable. I have heard a lot of stories, so I try my best not to be creepy but I guess the result ends up being paradoxical, and I end up creeping them out even more.

I don't know what to do!

I feel like I'm screwed if I make any sort of advancement AND if I try to be cautious, I'll just end up with the same result and being labeled creepy.

Ends up becoming so exhausting and so much work that I don't have the luxury of time to keep up, which causes me to just avoid it altogether.

I don't know how you do it

PM_ME_STRIPPERS · 2021-06-11T08:43:47+00:00

being creepy = ugly guy

being flirty/ sexually suggestive = attractive guy

Indis96 · 2021-06-10T19:12:47+00:00

I just think the MeToo Era has the potential to “sterilise” the dating market so to speak. Interactions between the sexes will become chilled and men will not ask out women the way they used too. Men will become overly cautious in their behaviours which might turn off woman.

Thats why people claim feminism killed chilvary and not the men themsevles.

You weaponise behaviour that if a men REMOTELY screws up what he says, or acts manly like he is designed to, he's done for.

Yeah no dude wants to date a feminist anymore for good reasons...

Women can make claims up, turns out to be false all along > Suffer no consequences, no accountability because of it.

Of course men are not going to act ''manly'' anymore knowing each fcking screw up they do to piss off a women can be life changing...

If I see some gorgeous women wearing thongs on the beach, I’m going to stare and be taken aback. If I see a girl I want to ask out, I might be a little suggestive lol. If I want to compliment the clothing or appearance of a woman, I should feel free to do so.

I dont speak to women anymore unless I really have/need to, OR if they are the ones showing interest in me first, OR I know that she wont backstab me over some petty shit...

Not that I've been accused of X,Y,Z in the past, never have, but hearing horror stories from friends and redditors here, I don't want to take a risk against women I barely know just because I wanted to cold approach them at a bar for example and she didn't like it, so shes going to make BS up and rally everyone behind her in believing her first, when all I wanted to do, was shoot my shot and get to know her, nope thanks Western Society and Modern Feminism!...

Whats sad about all this is that I KNOW there are a bunch of women out there, that are upset that their ''sisters'' behave this way just because they can get away with it with no accountability attached.

It really sucks that they have to accept the behaviour without being excluded from said group...

I KNOW for a fact that some women detest the 4th wave of feminisn, how its fcking garbage, how they are shunned for acting feminine towards guys they like...

Indis96 · 2021-06-10T19:04:24+00:00

Creepiness is more to do with attractiveness tbh. You hit on her, you're not her type, she thinks you're creepy (even if you conducted it appropriately)

Hit on her, you are her type, she thinks you're flirty, sexy, courageous, brave and all this other stuff lul

midwestufohunter · 2021-06-10T19:53:07+00:00

" If I want to compliment the clothing or appearance of a woman, I should feel free to do so."

So you want a pass to be as aggressive and threatening as you want to?

Based on the title, I was going to agree with you because creating balance in any area is always going to cause you to go over or under while you figure out what the balance is.

But what you are describing isn't you *trying* to not be creepy and failing.

What you are describing is you not giving a fuck how your actions make women feel.

Pola_Lita · 2021-06-10T19:20:23+00:00

Some amount of “creepy” behavior is fine. To be clear, this doesn’t justify sexual assault, boorish harassment/catcalling, and other forms of sexual abuse. ( Trying to hit up minors etc)

I think the Me Too era has gone reckless in some ways but it has its good side too. Think of how many people (not just men) whose definition of any of the above "creepy" barely existed before the Me Too movement?

For the other things you mention, why should you stare indiscreetly or comment suggestively to a stranger? A compliment is one thing, a leer is another.

So far we've done okay without catcalling. There's no reason we need to hold on to its equivalents in other interactions.

cvslengthbucketlist · 2021-06-10T21:07:37+00:00

If you're going to complain about men (respectfully) approaching you in public then you might also want to complain about other women who vocally prefer men "demonstrate confidence and initiative" (and see those who don't as low-value) for incentivizing that behavior at your expense.

As long as different women feel differently about this issue and define the word "creepy" differently then it's gonna be a never-ending tug-of-war.

lulll · 2021-06-11T14:11:52+00:00

99% of the time creepy=ugly guy lol. you ever notice women never call their horrible ex-bfs creepy? they'll call that guy every insulting name they can think of, but its never creepy. figure that one out and you win the prize

_The-J0ker_ · 2021-06-10T19:56:03+00:00

man... the word 'creepy' used to mean something different but women ruined it with their shenanigans, just like they ruined the word 'daddy'

raphaellastorm · 2021-06-10T20:06:50+00:00

We understand. And we don’t like any level of creepy behavior. Please don’t.

houstongradengineer · 2021-06-10T19:09:25+00:00

I don't think I personally consider what you're defining as creepy at all. I think men should be able to have moral conversations conversations awkwardness with women. But... why would this crusade against literal assault and cataloging stop them? That's what I don't get. That's my question about this whole thing.

superlurkage · 2021-06-10T20:04:58+00:00

You guys don’t get what “harassment” is, do ya?

And sure, you can shove your dick around more. We’re still not gonna like it

SaBahRub · 2021-06-10T22:37:43+00:00

I don’t want to “chill” interactions. I want people to mind their own business in public.

Take your genital feelings elsewhere like the rest of us do. You won’t catch me picking my nose, hawking my loogies, scratching my crack, belching in stereo or farting in public spaces, so do me the equal courtesy. Nobody cares about your boner except you

Plenty of people and even countries are just fine keeping their genital feelings to themselves

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-06-10T22:48:21+00:00

Then why complain? I'm going to call out creepy guys no matter what. They give zero fucks about my feelings, so why should I care about theirs?

1Here4Bach · 2021-06-11T00:02:25+00:00

I will continue to call men I feel creepy as creepy. Men’s hurt feelings are going to stop me from trying to keep myself and fellow sisters safe.

octocombo · 2021-06-11T02:05:29+00:00

Personally I would prefer if men I don't know never approached me or flirted with me, and I would prefer if men I do know only made flirtatious or suggestive comments in the context of having already had a direct discussion about our reciprocated interest. If this meant men never approached me, awesome, I can approach the ones I'm interested in without needing to wait for them.

anon111220 · 2021-06-11T02:30:59+00:00

For women, “creepiness” is one-to-one correlated with unattractiveness. They may as well be synonyms. Nothing more and nothing less.

alberto-hoff · 2021-06-10T20:34:13+00:00

I don't understand this.

You talk to a woman like a normal human being, you both give IOIs during the conversation, flirt, see if they flirt back and then one asks the other out.

I don't see how you can accidentally be creepy whilst doing this?

It's how all my sexual interactions have happened.

blue_dandelions · 2021-06-10T19:14:04+00:00

Do you have to stare? Can’t you just glance quickly like the rest of us perverts?

Honestly yes be a perv, just don’t interfere with my day. If you can’t act like an adult this just tells me you don’t belong with the adults.

Bigbigsby · 2021-06-10T20:04:27+00:00

Look, if I see a shordy with her ass cheeks hanging out her shorts imma look. If she calls me out for being a pervert, I deserve that lmao it is what it is.

Mondholm · 2021-06-10T19:11:31+00:00

women dressing like whores in public places with children is more creepy than men staring at them.

OrganicHedgehog8483 · 2021-06-12T12:42:56+00:00

Thing is its completely subjective, most women will be comfortable with what you described if you are attractive enough. Did you know that the survey conducted which resulted in 97% of women having sexually harassed included things such as staring and following them for too long.

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gimpgirl555 · 2021-06-10T19:25:16+00:00

I just think the MeToo Era has the potential to “sterilise” the dating market so to speak. Interactions between the sexes will become chilled and men will not ask out women the way they used too. Men will become overly cautious in their behaviours which might turn off woman.

It's a good thing, because it will force women to ask men out instead. And also it reduces women's chances to poach married men. I get to chaperone my man everywhere now without being seen as a psycho.

IcarusKiki · 2021-06-10T20:16:49+00:00

That’s not creepiness that’s just being human. The socially inept guys on here don’t understand the difference between flirting with a receptive woman and stalking a girl at work because they cant understand the nonverbal cues of the woman. Their black and white thinking causes them to see some women saying no to sexual coercion in the workplace with a power imbalance and claiming that feminists are banning all flirting ever.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-06-10T21:13:39+00:00

Roflmao, cat-calling and harassment are NOT creep behavior; motivations and desires are too clear.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-06-10T21:29:54+00:00

You're allowed to stare you just don't make it obvious.

Geez I've checked out many a hot guy in my life, especially at the beach. I use my peripheral vision and occasionally nod my head in their direction to alert my friends of hot dude.

The general creepy behaviour is when you stare. And stare. And stare. And do weird creepy hand gestures as you state and stare and stare.

Unteryn · 2021-06-10T22:25:51+00:00

Agreed, compliments or staring are harmless, it´s when it turns into anger or aggression that it´s a problem.

SavouryOreos · 2021-06-10T23:50:05+00:00

creepy is objective if i follow you home without permission and you happen to be fine with it im not any less creepy your just fine with me being creepy. if i ask you out at a bar and happen to be unnattractive im not being creepy. if i am attractive and grab you as if we are already together in an attempt to seduce you i am creepy regardless of how much you may or may not like it. in such a case you would be either indifferent to my creepiness, turned on by it, or consider it worth it because i was attractive. if the entire world was indifferent to the creepiness of the attractive it would still be creepy. if the entire world was creeped out by the unattractive for asking them out. they would be having logically incorrect emotional reactions. no one decides whats creepy. you not being creeped out does not make me less creepy. you being creeped out does not make me more creepy. you either correctly respond to what is actually creepy or you dont. being creeped out is subjective but being creepy is objective.

M_LaSalle · 2021-06-11T00:13:44+00:00

If she finds him attractive then by definition he's not creepy. Chad can get away with stuff that other fellows can't.

If he's unattractive, he can make the argument that some level of creepiness should be acceptable, and much good will it do him.

ArtNo6372 · 2021-06-11T08:45:38+00:00

the issue is often creepyness depends on how good you look / the girls mood. which is why i myself will continue going out of my way to not be perceived as a creep. hell i know its pretty extreme but if i turn two corners at night and find i am still behind some girl ill take another route. it makes me feel uncomfortable to be perceived as a creep let alone being one

Gerealtor · 2021-06-11T09:22:18+00:00

I mean, there's no harm in flirting, if that's what you mean..

I think the word creepy will just keep getting used, even in situations where the person doesn't really deserve it. If you're a guy and into initiating flirtation, you're just going to have to accept that some will think you're creepy and some won't. As a woman, when someone who I found to be extremely unattractive hit on me, I did feel "creeped out" as a natural reaction. It's just that initial thought that they imagined themselves fucking you, it's an instant reaction. Those kinds of situations, it's my responsibility to know not to slander someone just because he gave me the icky feeling for a second. I gave to decipher between creepy behaviour and me just feeling creeped out by normal flirtation because I find the person unattractive. As for men, it's their responsibility not to cross the line into objectively creepy behaviour and then I guess they've just got to take the hit when they get called a creep undeservingly sometimes. It'll never not happen.

An example of creepy vs non-creepy behaviour for me is this other guy I found unattractive

When he made a joke about how something I said could be interpreted as a sexual innuendo about penises = not creepy

When he not-so-slyly asked if I had a boyfriend = not creepy

When he complimented my hair and commented on me being very small in a cutesy way = not creepy

When he wrapped his arms around my body, breathing into my neck just to show me something on a laptop instead of letting me move aside first = creepy as fuck

GridReXX · 2021-06-11T15:36:47+00:00

“I should feel free to do so”

You are. You may encounter pushback/annoyance/fear or you may encounter flirting.

Title	Some level of “creepiness” amongst men is acceptable.
Author	Danielcraigboston1
Upvotes	0
Comments	331
Date	June 10, 2021 7:02 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/nwvkho/some_level_of_creepiness_amongst_men_is_acceptable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/some-level-of-creepiness-amongst-men-is-acceptable.783447 https://theredarchive.com/post/783447

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