What is it like being a straight women sexually?

GridReXX · 2021-06-15T23:21:10+00:00

Lol women don’t walk around perpetually horny like that. Though I do commend you for sharing.

If I see a hot person my mind goes “wow!” and then I instantly forget about them. I don’t go home and rub one out to them. I don’t get boners. And 90% of the time I’m not noticing anyone in that way.

Also I don’t think I’ve ever masturbated to someone like that. Is this what men call a “spank bank”? I’ve never used porn to masturbate either. I don’t masturbate because I’m horny. I masturbate because I want an orgasm/a good bodily feeling. When I’m horny I want to kiss and cuddle and be all up on someone.

I will say I have read erotica. But even then it’s not because I’m horny. It’s because I’m bored. But as I’m reading it it does a better job of getting me in an aroused state than porn ever has.

RandomUsernameSkrrrt · 2021-06-16T01:03:13+00:00

For external triggers: if I see an attractive man (face in particular), my heart leaps and I get butterflies in my chest. It’s a form of intense excitement, but I wouldn’t label it as horniness. Less an impulse to fuck and more an impulse to hug and hold hands. Now, it would probably eventually progress into something more strictly sexual, but it’s not that way initially. So basically:

I do not get aroused at naked male bodies with zero context. It’s like looking at a tree, or other naked animal on Nat Geo Wild. Literally doesn’t register any response outside the cultural shock of nudity.
I get excited at a man’s face, but it is not sexual arousal, per se.
I get EXTREMELY horny when I know someone well and who is attractive.

As for spontaneous horniness without an external trigger, like when you’re doing a task and suddenly take conscious note of the fact you’re horny for no reason, I get it most often days 7-14 of my cycle, around ovulation. I get it outside that time as well, just more erratically with less frequency.

cowfishAreReal · 2021-06-15T22:20:59+00:00

I don't usually check guys out. I mostly just go about my day and don't remember sex exists, and then every 3 days or so I remember it and take care of that on the shower. I don't do hookups at all. And my bf is not in the same country as me because of covid.

death_by_1000_cats · 2021-06-15T23:11:30+00:00

I definitely notice attractive men, but actual arousal requires more direct and prolonged contact (talking, flirting, touching, etc.) When I see an attractive man it's not a drive to have sex with him, it's a drive to be in his proximity and have him pay attention to me and seduce me. Once that happens, then I start thinking about having sex with him. And once a guy occupies that space in my mind I tend to become really obsessive.

When I was 14 or so I experienced something closer to what you're describing, where just seeing a hot guy would make me physically aroused. But that was short-lived and almost certainly a product of overactive teenage hormones. My libido has been as I described above for most of my life.

Most of the time sex is out of sight, out of mind. If a man isn't actively getting my attention and stirring sexual feelings in me then I rarely think about or crave sex in the abstract.

I'm not sure I've ever experienced disgust at the sight of a man. Unattractive men are like women, they don't stir any feelings in me but I'm not repulsed by them either, they're just people.

IcarusKiki · 2021-06-15T23:18:26+00:00

I feel like my sexuality doesn’t really control my life. I really like that about being a woman, I can focus on things other than sex and am not really influenced it or tie my self esteem to it.

UrFoodMolestedMyNose · 2021-06-15T23:07:09+00:00

No tbh. I cant even think of a time some stranger walking past turned me on. It just doesn’t happen.

EleanorAbernathyPhD · 2021-06-15T22:55:42+00:00

Im technically single (nothing official yet with the guy im seeing) but I´ve never gotten horny just by looking someone. This is something that Ive talked with one of my friends actually because she says that when she sees a hot guy "she wants to fuck him right there" and Ive never gotten that. Its more like if I see a hot guy I think "oh he's hot" and that's about it.

The other day I took my mom to the beach and there was a very hot guy sitting. My mom and I were walking around and she pointed him and made some expressions like LOOK AT THAT HOT GUY OMG, I just told her "Yeah I noticed him" and continued with what I was talking about. I find it very awkward and disrespectful that someone goes out of their way to make me look at a hot guy, I dont care.

I do get horny but it doesn't happen by looking at someone and lately Ive been only fantasizing about the new guy im seeing, im loyal like that lol.

To those who are calling OP a creep for what he posted: a) He is describing a situation so we can have context on how it is like for him and b) He is 19. Teenagers are horny all the time. Damn, back in my day teenagers jerked off to sears catalogues.

goatismycopilot · 2021-06-15T22:32:39+00:00

I don't notice most men. I am thinking about my dog or the weather or any number of other things. Once in a while I see a man and think oh he is hot and forget about him a few minutes later.

umnothnxbye · 2021-06-15T23:41:39+00:00

I'm not the straightest (I like butch women) but I'm married to a man, so I'll answer.

Don't know what's up with the other women here. I notice hot guys all the time. If he's shaped nicely and shirtless, even a bit hairy... 🥵

I've never masturbated to someone I know or just some random on the street. I kind of just fantasize about scenarios not involving myself. It actually turns me off if I try to insert myself into the fantasy, probably because I have abysmal self-esteem.

With that said, I often look at guys and think in terms of would or would not fuck if I was some hot single baddie.

I saw a hot bearded dude the other day at a stop light. I wondered all sorts of sexual things about him. Also wondered what he was like as a person. He looked nice and modest... I think partly fantasizing about their personality turns me on too.

I don't look at things like gonewild. I do watch porn sometimes. Mostly gay stuff since guys are hot af, so two hot dudes thinking each other is hot... I don't know, I just like the thought. I'd assume it's probably like how some dudes like lesbian porn.

deadinderry · 2021-06-16T01:49:28+00:00

I don’t really see the appeal of straight-up porn, as a straight woman. It feels forced and awkward. If I’m going to masturbate (which like others have said, is not because “horny” just more because “I want to orgasm”), I masturbate to like, old guns’n’roses concert footage because the one thing that does get me spontaneously horny is a good guitar solo. So I’m in the position where if I’m out walking, I might see a cute guy and take a second look, but if I hear like, “Rock You Like a Hurricane” that guitar part will make me want to jump my boyfriend.

rft24 · 2021-06-15T22:41:12+00:00

i cant think of a time where i found myself aroused by strangers.

i do have sexual thoughts, but they’re either about my bf or myself.

i don’t get aroused unless i choose to actively focus on these thoughts though.

philomexa · 2021-06-15T22:48:38+00:00

At best, all men are asexual NPCs. If I see an attractive man (.000037% chance on any given day) I admire him, wonder what kind of person he is, and then move on with my day.

My sexual energy is only stimulated by the man I'm currently fucking or, if I'm single, the man I'm crushing on.

roaming_bartender · 2021-06-15T23:44:17+00:00

what is it like to be a straight woman?

Open a fake tinder account with an average womans picture and find out.

Barneysparky · 2021-06-15T22:28:59+00:00

First thing to know is unlike your hardons for random strangers (no shaming about that) woman's vaginas do not get aroused at the sight of a handsome man.

My vagina has been aroused by a great conversation with a handsome man though.

"Gives her the tingles" is pure projection.

DespondentColors · 2021-06-15T22:37:41+00:00

The way men feel when they’re single and horny is the way women feel when they have a connection with someone. It grows. This is why women will tell you non hot guys have a chance.

throwaway3649_ · 2021-06-16T12:51:12+00:00

I am a male and I believe men currently in their early 20s (and all subsequent generations) should start preparing for a life of sexual solitude

InitialArgument1662 · 2021-06-17T00:40:32+00:00

Today men learn: women don’t get dripping wet at seeing an average man walking out in public in a t shirt and jeans. Maybe if more men made themselves up in a sexually appealing way like women do, there’d be more of a visceral reaction from us. But no, women aren’t salivating at average Joe walking around the block like men do when they see a woman with a tight low-cut shirt and booty shorts on. It’s not really something to get all depressed about. If you want to be that guy that gets checked out, you have to put effort into it, which usually involves working out, clothes that accentuate your body, and a sexy haircut. 🤷🏻‍♀️

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-06-16T00:06:42+00:00

90% of the time every one around me is just an npc unless we know each other.

This is NOT to say I have not checked out dudes. Generally though it's in certain situations such as the beach. I have done many a glance at abs or at arms (sun's out guns out!). Sometimes if it's a really hot dude I might check them out when I go about my business. And I don't think im aroused by it. It's more of a 5 second "hot damn boy is fine" or "10/10 would tap" but honestly it's a very fleeting feeling and I never actually would even when I was single.

Proper attraction for me doesn't happen unless we actually start talking and/or interacting with each other. Even my one casual fling in which I went "10/10 would tap--actually yes I'm tapping that" involved a lot of dancing and conversation.

blue_dandelions · 2021-06-16T03:50:42+00:00

When it’s been a while since I last had sex I picture myself sleeping with semi attractive strangers I see around & about. But unlike a male I don’t overtly stare or anything just a quick glance & the thoughts are automatic.

Saying that when with someone I will mostly fantasise about them & them alone.

I get myself off probably 2-3 times a week, often to porn. That’s if I don’t have a satisfactory partner.

I often have sexual thoughts but not about most men, usually my guy or previous bfs.

Saying this I am very hypersexual and have a very high libido.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-06-15T21:52:45+00:00

90% of the time I’m just going about my day. 10% of the time I might notice someone who stands out (male or female). Since I am otherwise engaged I don’t act on it. When I was single I also probably did not act on it; but I might remember them next time I see them.

Beltadowa · 2021-06-16T05:54:16+00:00

Where did the asexual comment come from? Total rubbish. I don't get turned on by random guys, but then unlike you with your T and A we don't get random glimpses of dick I suppose.

If I catch a glimpse of some porn or something sexual on TV I might get a lady boner, or if i just start thinking about sex for some reason. As others have said it is more likely to be thinking about a connection (my boyf or a fantasy one) than some random dude.

0seagirl · 2021-06-16T08:29:01+00:00

I'm a bi woman and sexually respond to women exactly the same as you and have done since I was around 11.

With men though, it's very different. I'm mostly repulsed physically, and don't feel compelled to glance at "anything" (no body part or feature, unlike how I feel with women). At most, I can see a guy and think "he looks like a nice person", but there's nothing sexual about it.

Even if I can form romantic/sexual relationships with men, the attraction I feel toward them is completely different.

ifwerty · 2021-06-15T22:27:52+00:00

From this discussion so far I have gathered that:

>literally all women are asexual compared to men and that

>women are disgusted by unattractive/average men when they express their sexuality.

Being a man fucking sucks. If anyone wants to correct me in the comments feel free to do so but from what I have gathered, the above is true.

funlightmandarin · 2021-06-15T22:16:26+00:00

Men are NPCs, I reserve my sexual energy for my partner alone. If I see an attractive man, I might appreciate it for a second; maybe note it to my partner if he doesn't do it first.

AutoModerator · 2021-06-15T21:39:56+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

wtknight · 2021-06-15T23:51:21+00:00

[removed]

Unteryn · 2021-06-16T04:03:05+00:00

Rapid quickfire hunger like when a cat sees a mouse. I don´t turn on a dime over just anyone, but seeing a hot guy is definitely distracting.

blue_dandelions · 2021-06-16T04:56:36+00:00

[deleted]

Responsible-Bike9047 · 2021-06-15T21:46:07+00:00

this is kind of gross reading as a straight woman. maybe dont tell people that women existing gets you hard in public. its not flattering and its really just creepy

to answer your question thats what its like as a straight woman a lot of times, being grossed out by guys in public while youre just existing. random men or even attractive ones dont just get me wet randomly for no reason.

IOportA · 2021-06-15T23:55:04+00:00

Yall ladies are lying your asses off.

I've seen women pass the fuck out from seeing a hot guy singing.

I've seen women who couldn't even look in a guy's direction cuz he was fine af and she was hot and bothered and didn't want him to know.

Don't let these women fool you, girls get horny too.

alberto-hoff · 2021-06-15T21:51:46+00:00

obvious wank fodder request is obvious.

HelpfulJColeStan2 · 2021-06-15T22:43:28+00:00

if i see a hot guy im like woah chad alert. if i see a pretty girl im like omg how is she so pretty. thats about it

milkyymochii · 2021-06-15T23:07:22+00:00

When I’m going about my day I pretty much never notice males or think any of the males around me are attractive. Very very very rarely do I see a guy that I think is hot.

Even when I see hot guys I’m not wet or sexually aroused or anything like that. I just think “damn he finE” and that’s about it.

literally all women are asexual compared to men

Not being a raging slave to your genitals ≠ asexual.

women are disgusted by unattractive/average men

Not really, I just don’t care & don’t notice

it fucking sucks to be a man

you poor thing, how hard it must be to live in a patriarchal society created by men for men. it must suck to not be objectified by strangers.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-06-15T22:23:36+00:00

[removed]

wtknight · 2021-06-15T23:40:52+00:00

[removed]

octocombo · 2021-06-16T00:57:42+00:00

Just wanted to start off by saying that everything you've described is completely normal and not creepy. If you keep it to brief glances and don't try to engage then you're not going to be making people feel unsafe, it looks like some of the other commenters were trying to shame you for that but you have nothing you need to be ashamed of. And jerking off once a day is also totally normal, and it sounds like you're being responsible in wanting to focus on your studies before devoting too much energy to sexual encounters. You are normal and respectful, you're golden.

I'm not precisely your target demographic because I'm bi, but I am a woman who's into men, and I thought I'd share my own experience here because you seem disheartened and I'm much higher libido than most of the other women who've commented.

I definitely get most horny about people who I already know and like, but the little glances of appreciation for strangers which you described, I have those as well. Mostly around ass, hands and forearms, or hair. Sometimes too if there's bare chest on a guy or just sports bra on a woman.

What you described in terms of actually getting aroused just watching someone usually will only happen for me if there's a lot of smooth hip movement (like with Latin dancing) or dextrous finger movement (like if they're speed typing or playing a musical instrument). It's more about what they're doing and how they move than their actual physical features, but it can lead to getting uncomfortably wet in public.

And then for someone who's my current partner, it's intense. I often find myself daydreaming a bit about a partner, and just a few non-explicit sexts can very quickly get me heated.

You've seen from the other comments that this isn't exactly the norm, but it's not so unusual, and I think if you ask more about "are there non-sexual things a guy does which instantly turn you on" you'll get a lot more positive responses from women than asking if there are certain physical features women notice on men and are into.

FenaPugi · 2021-06-16T06:36:41+00:00

Late to the thread but just wanted to say that the edits are much appreciated!

Especially the comment that you linked at the bottom; men and women truly live in different worlds.

Dapper_Art_8269 · 2021-06-16T06:47:45+00:00

I can't get horny just from looking at hot men. I see that they have nice faces or bowiem, I like what I see but it doesn't make me wet.

I don't think about sex untill my man starts to kiss me or touch me. If he suddenly had to leave for couple of months, I would survive without fucking just fine. But I always had low libido, I masturbated maybe twice a year when I was singlesingle and a teenager.

Crafty-Particular998 · 2021-06-16T07:20:36+00:00

I don’t check out guys the way guys check out women. I’m in a relationship, but it took me a long time to find a decent guy that I was attracted to, and although men here say that we have so much choice, finding the one was a lonely and difficult process at the time (worth it though). At times I was single I hated dating because I found it cringeworthy and uncomfortable, I was always more of a “let it happen naturally” person. I don’t feel attracted to anyone unless there’s an established connection and I hate dudes I don’t know hitting on me.

Unteryn · 2021-06-16T07:40:56+00:00

OP, stop being so hard on yourself. Women absolutely do go mad over men visually. I went slightly crazy over a bass player´s hands once and walked up to him after the gig and asked him out.

YMaedchen · 2021-06-16T17:30:47+00:00

I notice attractive men. But I'd never imagine anything sexual with them. It would make me feel akward and kind of guilty.

Mimoxs · 2021-06-16T18:42:41+00:00

I have never seen a man attractive enough for me to really notice him out of crowds. I am not aroused by real-life visual stimuli

I remain in my head most of the time. I would say I fall under the perpetually horny category. I spend most of my time fantasizing. From the time I was very young I learned to have sex fantasies during boring classes, bus rides, etc etc, and I still do it. I also recently began to draw hentai for money. So sex consumes most of my day, if I'm being honest

ivy176 · 2021-06-17T08:30:10+00:00

I notice men's body parts only. I don't find many people attractive as a whole so it's more like seeing a good body part, that reminding me of what I find hot in my husband, then fantasizing about sex with him. Faces do nothing for me at all, I'm way too picky and find lots of things unattractive about most mens faces. I only notice body parts like they're mannequins or photos. I could also get very aroused by porn that focuses on the male body, but I am against porn. They'd have to be faceless and not make noise otherwise I'd get turned off. Basically it makes me imagine sex with my husband, and sometimes I wish he kept as fit (big) as he used to but don't feel attraction for that actual person or any desire to speak to them or get attention from them if we were in reality. It's stronger in my 30s, in my teens and 20s, I wanted romance but didn't think that much about sex. I was more excited to hug and fall in love.

peppapigoink95 · 2021-06-18T04:01:10+00:00

Uh. I'm bi. And I feel exactly how you described minus masturbating every day, about women, possibly cuz society conditioned me to view women bodies as more sexual than men bodies. I check ppl out (men and women) if there's anything that stands out. It ain't an arousal thing, cuz they're not options to me, I'm in a relationship. It's more of an appreciation, or a jealousy thing if it's a girl and she looks "better than me" but I'll still try to compliment her in my mind so I'm not becoming a bitter hag at 25. If it's a dude, my internal monologue is that intrusive "dayyyaaammmm look at you boyyyy get it" same thing if it's a girl actually, but with the girl I might also add in "I wish my hair looked like that." Or "hahaha she's a hoeee boppin' along, hoe-ing it up" if she's dressed real revealing. And I forget about it like five mins later. No genuine interest. I objectjfy aesthetically pleasing people. I appreciate a body that looks like they worked hard for it. If I see a guy with a nice face I might be all "well aren't you a cutie patootie, look at us just being cute on the street" almost like I'm teasing him in my head, cuz I assume he might be a little conceited (he's probably not tbh). If I see my bf. I'll be like "daaaaaammnnn look what I snagged hehehehe." When I met him, I was sweaty and nervous cuz he was waayyyy too cute. If he's picking at a zit it's more like "there's my grunty caveman lol." If I'm horny I'm like "gimme your dick now." But I'm hardly that horny lately cuz I'm stressed.

Acrobatic-Stuff · 2021-06-16T08:00:42+00:00

Dude stop fapping in any way wtf

MOLONGU · 2021-06-16T14:59:46+00:00

It doesn't suck to be a man any more than it does to be a woman or any other living thing,life is a hard struggle for everyone.

As a man you have strength, testosterone and the power to tame nature conquer land,sea and sky and step foot on celestial bodies...Women would have never done these things without man...In fact they would still be in caves if that most would have starved to death or Been eaten by predators because they don't have the strength, fearlessnes and type of intellect it takes to be an Alpha predator and world conqueror.Most women who are good at these things tend to be lesbians higher testosterone probably many do their best to emulate men but they are still weak in comparison.

It's actually impressive how much stronger a man is than a woman I watched a video of a real street fight where several armed women couldn't beat up one unarmed man.I wouldn't trade the strength if a man for female privilege.

Now you think women have it good well as I allready said they are weak and only in modern times was that not a huge liability,Imagine fighting in an ancient battle and you can't even wear armor cause your feeble frame can't support the weight..Their are some big women out of Norway though they are probably part Neanderthal or something.I saw a gorgeous woman she was easily 6"6 but her size was incredible not just tall but practically gigantic in proportion she should have definitely been in MMA and the only woman I ever met that I've ever thought for a second that could pose a physical challenge to me.

Women can get pregnant that's probably one of the most traumatic things that can happen to a body that's not intended to cause death,but it actually does on so many cases.I would argue pregnancy is more dangerous than breaking an arm or leg.

Women are generally mistreatment all around the world mistreatment is not exclusive to them but it tends to prevail even in areas where other types of discrimination doesnt.In the US women didn't get the right to vote and participate in politics...The list of pain and and suffering women have endured for eons is endless..

Women do have it easier when it comes to getting a date men have to approach risk rejection humiliation or worst harassment charge but it's not a walk in the park for women they have to risk being murdered having their emotions played with which is a huge deal for women they are regulated by their emotions and emotional pain such as heart break is equivalent to physical pain as evident in cat scans of the brain.So women getting cheated on lied to and manipulated really hurts them...and how do they know which man will and will not it's a risk for them even if 5000 guys are in their DMs they have no way of knowing the good from the bad in all cases.

Women are judged very harshly on appearance something they can't change for the most part yes they can loose weight but tell a scrawny guy to bulk up it could take years of dedication and hard work and genetics play a roll...but women considered unnattractive are relegated to being second class citizens and because of make nature being visual many won't ever be loved,there are men in this situation to but a man can generally pull himself out of that buy becoming high Value.

I'm a MGTOW asshole but I think metoo and feminism is a good thing women should have their time.Men should go their own way go back to exploring building creating. Most of the ocean floor is uncharted ,we haven't been to the moon in 40 years amd no human has stepped foot on another celestial body.Nuclear Fusion remains out of reach and I feel AI and computer technology is about 20 years behind .Men we have work to do.and the less we focus on what women are doing the more we can focus on our purpose and destiny as men.

So it's not about who has it worst it's more about how can we make things better for everyone.

Title	What is it like being a straight women sexually?
Author	ifwerty
Upvotes	4
Comments	337
Date	June 15, 2021 9:39 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/o0pb6f/what_is_it_like_being_a_straight_women_sexually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-it-like-being-a-straight-women-sexually.783988 https://theredarchive.com/post/783988

Comments