Hung in the guy's dorm. Am I reading too much into this or is it really sexist?

CrazyInAnInsaneWorld · 2016-02-12T17:22:51+00:00

Approach shoplifting as an African-American issue. It involves people of all ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds. View African Americans not only as perpetrators, but as empowered bystanders who can confront thieving peers.

Am I reading too much into this, or is it really racist?

There's your answer. Now go report this POS sign to the R.A. and the Title IX office. Things aren't going to change unless we begin making some noise about it.

Hypersapien · 2016-02-12T16:58:26+00:00

Yes, it is sexist. It says men are agressors, women are victims. Men are responsible for the safety of any nearby woman.

BlackMRA-edtastic · 2016-02-12T17:21:09+00:00

It's really sexist because it dismisses men as victims. According to the poster men can only be "perpetrators" or "bystanders". That's so wrong.

pazz · 2016-02-12T17:40:14+00:00

Step 1: Copy that word for word and reverse the sexes.

Step 2: Post it in girl's dorm.

Step 3: Make popcorn and prepare for the show.

Leinadro · 2016-02-12T17:12:26+00:00

Go to the R.A. and tell them that such sexist material does not belong in your dorm room. Go to whoever is in charge of your student housing department and say the same thing. Go speak to your Title IX officer about this to.

Don't let this bullshit stand. You must do something if we want to see real change.

mwobuddy · 2016-02-12T16:46:02+00:00

gender violence

is a men's issue.

Oh, so not a women's issue? Women aren't violent against males?

view men not only as perps or POSSIBLE OFFENDERS (Jesus fucking christ, so all men standing around are possible offenders), but also bystanders who can confront abusive peers.

But not women, right? What about abusive women? Don't confront them?

mikesteane · 2016-02-12T16:55:38+00:00

It is part of a widespread campaign to denigrate men. I would add comments to it if it were in my dorm. Or put up another poster right next to it in opposition to it.

DarkGamer · 2016-02-12T19:17:32+00:00

Find a sharpie, cross out "men", write "human".

Then write "I'm confronting sexist peers" at the bottom.

victorymonk · 2016-02-12T18:24:25+00:00

It's feminists (unbeknownst to them) doing traditional gender role of "Men, do something."

PotatoDonki · 2016-02-12T20:46:47+00:00

All men are responsible for ending violence against women, even those being abused by their wives.

yoshi_win · 2016-02-12T16:44:45+00:00

What's sexist about it is that you'll never in a million years see something similar hanging in the women's dorm.

FingerMeElmo · 2016-02-12T18:46:39+00:00

"All men are rapists, now save me!"

purpleblossom · 2016-02-12T18:53:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Whisper · 2016-02-12T19:01:45+00:00

It says that you are either part of the problem, or you are unpaid bodyguard. You are never the person with the problem, or just some random dude who has nothing to do with the problem in any capacity.

timoppenheimer · 2016-02-13T01:04:40+00:00

Yes, this is sexist because it precludes the possibility that gender violence is a men's issue because MEN ARE VICTIMS OF IT.

WhoooCares · 2016-02-13T03:06:23+00:00

Rip it down

Richo262 · 2016-02-13T04:09:05+00:00

What it is saying is men should be initially treated as the villain, and any that aren't really villains should be treated as such for doing nothing to stop it.

But Anita told me I should not treat women as damsels in distress or I am 'objectifying' them.

It's a lose lose for men.

DavidByron2 · 2016-02-12T17:35:35+00:00

Yes it's sexist. Report this as sexual harassment. It's in violation of the law.

KrisK_lvin · 2016-02-12T16:50:25+00:00

It’s a classic SJW trope.

It’s saying that unless you are actively preventing rape you are supporting rape culture.

So it may or may not be sexist, but it is fucking stupid.

purpleblossom · 2016-02-12T20:07:45+00:00

It's sexist. College is against you and you are one offended woman away from wasting your time and money you've invested in your education. Meet your goals and get the fuck out of there asap.

bloodfoxtrue · 2016-02-12T21:33:36+00:00

So they shame men AND expect them to their heroes.

Naftoid · 2016-02-13T03:26:10+00:00

That was disappointing... it started off with a lot of potential. It could have easily been

View men not only as perpetrators or offenders, but as victims as well

Instead they had to double-down on the male-shaming and denying that men are also often victims of violence and abuse. OP, if you're willing, go edit the sign to say something like the above

vhisic · 2016-02-13T11:33:53+00:00

Its basically says to me " its your fault no matter what."

Azothlike · 2016-02-12T17:56:25+00:00

Tape over the bottom two lines with a huge POSSIBLE VICTIMS.

Done.

qdobe · 2016-02-12T18:58:18+00:00

It's like they try to justify calling all men aggressors by saying some are bystanders.

roharareddit · 2016-02-12T20:37:05+00:00

What this is basically saying is that all men are either rapists or,if not, they are still responsible for what rapists do. So, yes, it's pretty sexist.

rimper · 2016-02-12T21:01:20+00:00

AHHH!...So they need our help after all!

RedBigMan · 2016-02-12T21:13:36+00:00

It's a white knight recruitment poster.

Women want men to do shit for them without having earned men doing shit for them.

PuffPuffPassAgain · 2016-02-12T20:18:09+00:00

Sexist bullshit.

More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male. link

Words-Are-Wind · 2016-02-12T18:53:52+00:00

This is so stupid. I knew a few girls in abusive relationships. They weren't interested in leaving the relationship, even when presented with better options. They would become hostile if you even tried to talk about it. I'm not about to beat up my friends abusive boyfriend over it if shes happy with him and it will only make her hate me. I'm also not going to intervene for a stranger so I get labeled as the aggressor or some shit and get taken away to prison over people I don't even know. The only one who can help a girl in a troubled relationship is the girl herself.

McFeely_Smackup · 2016-02-12T18:27:28+00:00

yeah...getting involved in other peoples drama is always a great idea. That almost never results in TWO people kicking your ass.

issan1mountain · 2016-02-13T02:09:48+00:00

Fallacy: False dichotomy. This infers that men are either perpetrators OR advocates.

2016-02-12T22:29:00+00:00

Its sexist

Doriphor · 2016-02-12T22:54:10+00:00

It started off pretty good and oh boy did it go to shit afterwards.

Capitalsman · 2016-02-12T22:59:00+00:00

It seems like an mra made it until you get to the bystander part where you can tell an sjw pretended to be actually equal to slip in a "but men should be more responsible" line

awksomepenguin · 2016-02-12T23:33:19+00:00

So what, men can't be victims?

Odonata_Anisoptera · 2016-02-13T00:29:53+00:00

I have nothing to add to this thread but my anger at this sign.

arosebyanyother_user · 2016-02-13T00:52:30+00:00

It's sexist because it suggests that men cannot be victims, but only perpetrators or impotent bystanders.

It's garbage.

2016-02-13T01:06:31+00:00

Yes it is sexist, and not evidence-based either. Here is some data that can support your case:

http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/ss6308a1.htm?s_cid=ss6308a1_e

http://psychnews.psychiatryonline.org/doi/abs/10.1176/pn.42.15.0031a

The second document is reporting on a study of 11,370 heterosexual relationships and here is an interesting quote about intimate partner violence:

"Furthermore, Whitaker discovered, of the 24 percent of relationships that had been violent, half had been reciprocal and half had not. Although more men than women (53 percent versus 49 percent) had experienced nonreciprocal violent relationships, more women than men (52 percent versus 47 percent) had taken part in ones involving reciprocal violence.

Regarding perpetration of violence, more women than men (25 percent versus 11 percent) were responsible. In fact, 71 percent of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were women. This finding surprised Whitaker and his colleagues, they admitted in their study report."

Sigbi · 2016-02-13T04:07:19+00:00

very sexist, I'd rip it down.

2016-02-13T04:09:28+00:00

Print off some studies here that show gender symettry in domestic violence, and attach them to this sign. Use a highlighter to highlight the parts that explicitly state DV is not a woman's only problem.

This sign epitomizes feminist organizations like WhiteRibbon's belief on DV. These people have been giving female abusers a free ride for generations.

2016-02-13T05:48:13+00:00

AND VICTIMS! AND FUCKING VICTIMS!!!!

TheRavenousRabbit · 2016-02-13T07:38:08+00:00

Yes, it is sexist.

Imagine posting a similar post up in a black dorm, pointing out how black people should point out the bad actions of their peers.

mycatatemyface · 2016-02-13T11:24:40+00:00

Post a list right under it with the same title "Approach gender violence as a men's issue". But in your list you will be detailing all the statistics of violence by women against men. Also the lack of shelters for men. Also male rape by women. Etc etc etc. In all honesty i only wish something like that appeared anywhere near i frequent. My list as described above would tear them apart!!

Seriously, if you want to do that, ask help from this subreddit, i am sure everyone will be glad to research the numbers and help you. Also post the result pic. Also print your list in multiple copies because i sense that it will get teared down regularly.

gmcalabr · 2016-02-13T14:10:22+00:00

Most stores train their employees not to go after shoplifters because its too dangerous. Yet somehow, these people are encouraging men to be vigilante police against violent offenders?

MasterTextman · 2016-02-13T15:54:43+00:00

Yes it is, because it's calling all men either perpetrators or protectors. Never victims.

repete66219 · 2016-02-12T18:42:33+00:00

You're goddam right that's sexist. I would lodge a formal complaint. When the indoctrinated RA gave me a puzzled look I'd shrug and go around tearing them down. (Naturally, do so would make the regressives say you're pro-rape.)

MRA-automatron-2kb · 2016-02-12T17:03:31+00:00

The government in my province had TV ads pushing this concept and it's the same one as in Cologne Germany news that after men have been told by feminists for decades that they don't want our help, (where even holding a door open for a woman is punishable), now they want us to revert back to traditional roles of being their galant protector.

What do you want woman? .

The other problem with the poster is that it tells men to confront abusive peers.

If a male student told a female she's being abusive, she'll turn around and report him for rape and get him expelled.

Beard2MuhTeeTs · 2016-02-12T18:31:11+00:00

Yes, it's really sexist.

Obviously males can't be victims according to them.

2016-02-12T18:46:43+00:00

Yep. Sexist and ignores the large number of men who are victims at the hands of women

double-happiness · 2016-02-12T19:27:56+00:00

Apart from anything else, this whole 'bystander intervention' approach should be criticised for needlessly putting men in harm's way.

2016-02-12T21:26:18+00:00

No offense, but If I'm some "future offender" I wont be running to ANY WOMANS RESCUE. I'm out, son. No way I'm getting arrested/expelled because I'm a guy. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck that.

vonthe · 2016-02-12T18:54:07+00:00

You're not reading too much into it. It's straight up sexist.

unpicked-username · 2016-02-12T18:38:12+00:00

The poster makes clear that its not trying to be racist all ethnicities , not trying to be discriminatory based on wealth all socioeconomic but its outright SEXIST... unless you believe its only sexist when it happens to a woman, of course

AboveTail · 2016-02-12T19:37:20+00:00

Post this:

Approach emotional abuse as a feminist issue. Male suicide is a problem that involves all racial, ethnic and social backgrounds. Trivializing men's problems, redirecting blame, and selectively withholding information to push an agenda are abusive tactics and should be confronted as the toxic dogma that it is.

2016-02-12T19:56:33+00:00

I find it sexist, so you've at least got my support. and 221 upvotes right now, so we're on your side :)

lightening2745 · 2016-02-12T20:01:14+00:00

Admittedly, I didn't see the problem at first but I'm glad I read the responses. They have opened my eyes to why this ad is sexist in some ways.

I think the reason why it didn't bother me is because, the way I read it, it seems to give men permission to report abuse -- to be whitleblowers without the fear of retaliation. This may be important on college campuses where sexual assaults against women are too common and men may feel pressure not to break a code of silence. The pressure to not speak up about abuse because it's taboo to report on friends, frat brothers, teammates, etc. may be real but unique to college, dunno. I'm a woman, so I'm coming at this without having been a college-attending male.

If a man witnesses something but feels like he can't speak up about it he's caught in a situation that is legally, emotionally, and socially troublesome. I suspect the pressure to stay silent draws him into the drama and makes him a victim too, possibly wondering with guilt -- for years -- if he should have done more.

In the corporate world we have whistleblower policies to protect employees from retaliation for reporting (in good faith) something they think is wrong. I read this as being something along those lines. I read it as liberating men from a code of silence (where one exists, or where they perceive one).

Now I also see why the premise could also be considered sexist. I'm not totally sure how I feel about it, but I'm glad someone posted it. I don't think I would have even noticed the sexist part had it not been brought to my attention (much like the RA involved, perhaps).

Edit: Initially I did notice that it didn't include male victims and that does seem like a problem.

J2501 · 2016-02-12T20:13:23+00:00

Seems to me that men tend to react in an irrationally violent manner when there is unaccountability, irrationality, betrayal, pettiness, malicious intent, delusion, false accusations, false promises, slander, and stupidity on the part of females.

BassBeerNBabes · 2016-02-13T05:32:35+00:00

I'm probably going to be buried by now but I think I follow what is trying to be said here.

Inherently, there's nothing sexist about it. The message is that if you see something, do something about it.

However, the writing makes it ambiguous and written in a way that directs the reader's attention to the persons in fault, whether intentional or not (I'm guessing not because the poster is cheaply done and poorly thought out enough as is with it's bad fonts and dreadful layout).

Just changing the format of the sentence can reshape the angle it's trying to convey the message more accurately:

Approach violence as your issue. View yourself not as possible perpetrators or offenders, but as observers that can be empowered to confront abusers.

speedisavirus · 2016-02-12T19:50:28+00:00

I'd report whoever posted that to the organization on campus dedicated to making people feel welcome.

DinoDrum · 2016-02-12T19:51:15+00:00

Definitely sexist - they printed on blue paper.

I'm a boy and I like purple damnit!

Mitschu · 2016-02-12T22:24:17+00:00

Approach violence as a black's issue.

It involves blacks of all sexes, genders, and socioeconomic backgrounds. View blacks not only as perpetrators or possible offenders, but as empowered bystanders who can confront aggressive peers.

Does that answer your question, OP?

Unenjoyed · 2016-02-12T19:35:57+00:00

Take a course in basic logic while you can. It'll help.

(Yes, it's a very misandriest statement and should be actively opposed)

pboknows · 2016-02-12T19:45:18+00:00

I think there are two ways to read this: 1) To those who don't already, start cynically looking at men all men as perpetrators or possible offenders. 2) To those who already only cynically view men as perpetrators or possible offenders, please also allow for a third possibility: that they may also be the ones who stop perpetrators or possible offenders.

I believe the first view is sexist. I believe the second view is intended to combat sexism. I also believe, based on my reading of it, that the second interpretation was what was intended by the writer (whose intended audience was women with a cynical view of men), but that s/he didn't ask for input from men who would read this and jump to the first interpretation.

lightening2745 · 2016-02-12T20:49:48+00:00

I realize that there is some value to crafting messages to appeal to different audiences (in this case, a male audience). Advertisers do it all the time. Politicians so it. Pollsters break people down by race, income, education, geography, etc. because different messages may -- in a broad sense -- work with different people. I agree this message may go too far in blaming men (and leaves out male victims entirely), but assuming it's hung in, say, a men's bathrooms and not all across campus it may just be that the makers are trying to craft a message especially salient with men, however misguided.

It tries to be empowering (but fails). It targets men who may feel pressure not to speak up about sexual violence. It gives them permission to speak up -- it empowers them when they may feel pressure to be silenced.

Maybe there's something like it but female-oriented on pink paper in the women's room. Who knows. Both are a bit misguided, but I can see where they might come from.

Ideally, gender-neutral messages would work. However, Madison Avenue seems to disagree. While the ad/statement certainly isn't sensitive to many men's issues, most advertisers aren't (and this is really just low-budget, college-level advertising/propaganda).

Some ads denigrate men, some empower men, some do the same to women, and many are just a bad, ineffective mixture language and colors designed to draw the attention of a certain demographic.

If you hate this ad, or can't see why it was designed to appeal to a certain group, I would definitely suggest not majoring in marketing.

cuteman · 2016-02-12T22:13:05+00:00

Offenders and bystanders? Seems like they're missing at least one other possibility.

possiblyhazardous · 2016-02-12T23:38:06+00:00

Yeah that's discrimination and law-suitable

antilock · 2016-02-12T23:58:54+00:00

Why would they include sexes and genders. That just seem redundant as fuck. Either use the most inclusive term or cut it out of the text; you pedantic fuck.

Jahonay · 2016-02-13T00:37:37+00:00

Yeah, I definitely agree this is sexist. But if this was worded differently then I would really appreciate this sign.

Treating men like they're the only aggressors is fucked up, but if you witness harassment against a man or a woman, you should do something about it. That definitely is a real problem in colleges, it's a shame they worded it in such a sexist way.

flapjax68 · 2016-02-13T03:14:03+00:00

I think the intent was good, but the wording less than extraordinary

gsettle · 2016-02-13T03:22:10+00:00

Take it down or hang one warning men of false rape accusations.

ether_reddit · 2016-02-13T03:24:52+00:00

I read it as "only men are the perpetrators. and if you're not a perpetrator, you're an enabler by not stopping it." It could have been phrased much better by dropping "gender" altogether. Violence of all kinds is bad; we can all help stop it.

ztsmart · 2016-02-13T05:40:06+00:00

NMFNMP

NUMBERS2357 · 2016-02-13T06:13:59+00:00

Yeah the "bystander" thing seems like "the only person who's responsible for rape is the rapist. Also all other men because they were 'bystanders.'"

Penultimatemoment · 2016-02-13T06:18:17+00:00

Did you tear it down?

seventh_skyline · 2016-02-13T10:36:38+00:00

TL:DR: Don't be a cunt and stand around to capture it with your phone rather than doing something about it.

2016-02-13T13:24:41+00:00

The villains and the heroes.

Beard2MuhTeeTs · 2016-02-13T19:02:14+00:00

This feed has gone mental, I'm pretty sure I saw a dinosaur...

Rethgil · 2016-02-13T22:52:52+00:00

It saddens me that you have to ask. It shows how brainwashed young men have become by the feminist biased culture in University. Yes, its incredibly sexist. And demeaning, scapegoating, fear spreading and insulting.

mochacola · 2016-02-14T04:01:47+00:00

This is too funny. Yeah, I'm going to do my part, go to prison, and tell those rapists not to reoffend. You think those criminals would give a shit, because I'm male, like, their buddy, their brother? Freakin' idiotic.

Beard2MuhTeeTs · 2016-02-12T18:03:09+00:00

I do not think it is pointing the finger at all men as possible offenders rather than saying the women who hung this look at them as people that also can help them if they are in trouble too, like a campaign against the all men are trying to rape women movement, so if anything this is a pro men sign. Poorly worded, but placed here to be an olive branch of sorts, just trying to stay open minded, could be wrong though...

Jazzeki · 2016-02-12T18:47:41+00:00

not only is is it sexists it actually managed to be sexists towards both men and women.

i mean first there's the idea that men can't be victims aparently that's implied by it then it's further implied that only male bystanders actually have the ability to intervene in any way thus suggesting that women are incapable children that need the protection of men.

THIS is patriachy. whoever printed that thing and put it up is a firm supporter of reestablishing "the good old days".

aspbergerinparadise · 2016-02-13T00:02:40+00:00

"Hung in the guy's dorm"

coincidentally, that is also the title of the last video OP watched

BioGenx2b · 2016-02-12T21:38:13+00:00

Yes. It's horribly sexist.

"Men are responsible both for causing and preventing gender violence."

The statement itself is technically correct out of context, but the previous statement

Approach gender violence as a men's issue.

makes clear the intent. Approach it as a men's issue, not a human issue. It's a problem for men, specifically, to solve.

MRMRising · 2016-02-12T21:42:13+00:00

Only the individual is responsible for violence that they cause (male or female). But, more importantly, men are NOT responsible for woman's protection.

youhatetruth · 2016-02-13T03:34:56+00:00

Nope, this is sexist as fuck.

2016-02-13T10:06:29+00:00

Could the college students of today just shut the fuck up, go to class, study, try to overcome the social awkwardness of high school, sleep (occasionally), rinse and repeat for 4-6 years and join the rest of us in the real world already. Y'all whine too much these days.

Reddit1990 · 2016-02-13T03:10:33+00:00

Its worded in a good natured way, I wouldn't care personally. But it is still a little odd to be told something like this.

TacoNinjaSkills · 2016-02-12T18:49:29+00:00

I might catch some flak for this, but I don't have a problem with the message itself. The problem arises when, for example, the women's dorm doesn't have a sign up saying something similar about emotional manipulation of men, because to have that sign would be sexist.

Gender violence is either a non-issue or a human issue depending on how you want to frame it, though.

nuesuh · 2016-02-12T23:05:55+00:00

"Gender violence"(whatever that is..) is an issue for men!

Not just 1 type of men, but all kinds of men.

Men can both be a perpetrator, an offender and a passive bystander to "gender violence". And they could prevent it.(if they weren't sexist shitlords)

Yes, it is sexist. Very sexist... Just remove the sign and throw it where it belongs

hint: the bin

JohnnyNumbskull · 2016-02-12T18:43:57+00:00

THERE IS NO CONTEXT TO THIS PICTURE! THUS NO REAL CONCLUSIONS CAN BE DETERMINED... come on dudes... are we as reactionary?

You jaded people...

mwobuddy · 2016-02-12T16:42:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Beard2MuhTeeTs · 2016-02-13T07:24:58+00:00

http://hopeandsafety.org/learn-more/domestic-violence/

This is the website that the phrase originated from. On the front page they clearly state DV effects everyone men and women can be victims most of the site they refer to DV as "he" vs "she" for simplicity they claim, but they clearly state on the home page it is a very serious problem for everyone including men and homosexual couples. So it is obvious that the phrase is referring to not looking at every man as a perpetrators of rape but as someone to help you. That is actually the entire goal of the website,for men and women to come together to stop domestic violence. If you guys don't like the phrase because it's women asking you for help and you just want to stick to your gender and do not want to help them, at least be honest. But after being put in context there is nothing sexist here. So just gotta call em' like I see em'...

thatlowdowndirty47 · 2016-02-13T04:30:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Stripes1974 · 2016-02-12T16:39:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Hung in the guy's dorm. Am I reading too much into this or is it really sexist?
Author	Forever_A_Shitlord
Upvotes	1398
Comments	334
Date	February 12, 2016 4:37 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/45fjmd/hung_in_the_guys_dorm_am_i_reading_too_much_into/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/hung-in-the-guys-dorm-am-i-reading-too-much-into.956276 https://theredarchive.com/post/956276

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