50-50 is a lie.

pickadaisy · 2021-02-24T03:09:10+00:00

Can you imagine thinking you can be happy with a man who straight up doesn’t care about you?

Unfortunately, I can. I grieve for a past me.

Nice_Pass2393 · 2021-02-24T03:07:06+00:00

Hearing this confirms that I'm better off as a single mom

TheDameWithoutASmile · 2021-02-24T04:46:50+00:00

So he meets a traumatized woman, pushes her into a relationship, CONVINCES HER TO HAVE A BABY (in what world could she actually believe him that a NEW HUMAN BEING wasn't going to change things?), and now is mad she's not being a good little bangmaid because she's pregnant with a kid he only wanted so she'll quit her job and be dependent on him (speculation, but educated speculation) so he can control her further.

And she thinks he just doesn't understand her boundaries.

indisfury · 2021-02-24T03:47:09+00:00

"A baby need not change things"?? Bahaha!!

Like what? hes got rocks in his head... yeh it wont for him, in his head he's got it all planned out, he will keep going about his day as normal and let her do all the work... grrr

Can just see it now...

The baby wont stop crying. Him: its a you problem The baby needs a change. Him: its a you problem The baby wont sleep. Him: its a you problem The baby needs nappies. Shes at home with no income. Him: Its a you problem. Figure it out. He wants sex, but shes too tired to function. Him: But you said you'd make it up to me later. Its later. Figure it out!

Sheesh...

Geesus, he sounds like a right piece of work! Probably preyed on her right from the very start, aware she was suffering from lingering trauma, using her fragile state to his advantage, cos you know.. timeline!

To the OP Girl get out of there! This isnt about boundaries... this man is in no way husband or parent material! He wanted a wife and children on paper.. that is all.

The reality is you will be raising this child on your own even if you do stay with him. So you might as well cut your losses now, and spare yourself and your child the years of pain, loneliness, neglect, and abuse this man will put you both through.

Please, dont destroy your life by staying with this entitled, toxic pos.

RUN!

Mysterious_Midnight7 · 2021-02-24T03:21:21+00:00

This is literally nightmare fuel

Platipus6 · 2021-02-24T02:59:19+00:00

I'm all about 50/50 :)

He presents me with a list, I'll present him with the bill after I get back from Planned Parenthood.

driftinglochawe · 2021-02-24T03:15:21+00:00

Up to 24 weeks in the UK and anytime to ditch a scrote. But always the sooner the better.

creamtart_ · 2021-02-24T05:59:08+00:00

What a fucking sociopath!!! Anyone who lacks this much empathy for a woman suffering through a shitty pregnancy is absolutely twisted.

He’s that desensitised to women’s pain... hmmm, where ever could he have learned that behaviour from?!?!

snowwhite224 · 2021-02-24T03:05:14+00:00

What. A. Scumbag.

2021-02-24T04:15:47+00:00

This is why Im happy single :)

ceramicunicorn · 2021-02-24T04:08:36+00:00

0% interested in child rearing or being supportive of the mom carrying the baby, 100% will fight for custody because pride and MuH lEgAcY.

This is why I believe feminist literature should be required reading in childhood, so this shit doesn’t happen in the first place. I guarantee you some exasperated female coworker, family member, or friend of hers is doing an inordinate amount of emotional labor surrounding this. And yes we do have to support each other but also, being constantly adjacent to entirely preventable situations like this is fucking exhausting.

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2021-02-24T05:12:08+00:00

No. It's a him problem. He can figure it out when he has to pack his shit and head to his buddy's/mommy's couch or to the nearest homeless shelter. fucking scrote.

intergalacticanon44 · 2021-02-24T05:57:41+00:00

Not victim blaming but she should have started to hear alarm bells ringing when he bare faced lied to her about the changes to their lives after the baby. That’s just common sense.

Edit: hmm she’s 37 I could easily see him using that as a way to manipulate her into having a baby right away. Alternately she may’ve thought that she found a good one and that a baby would ensure longevity of the relationship. Fuck man I’m so frustrated for her, I sincerely hope she finds peace and can heal from her past in a loving environment away from this asshole.

thebonecarrier · 2021-02-24T07:29:45+00:00

Yeah, this was my ex-husband to a tee. He got angry at me for reminding him things would change after the baby was born. He did end up leaving me (for another woman) shortly after our baby's first birthday. Said he missed his easy life of video games and motorbikes and freedom. Also said I should applaud him for having the courage to leave. Lol.

Pahapan · 2021-02-24T06:16:44+00:00

I was in a really fucked up, abusive relationship in which I was raped and reproductively coerced. His goal was to trap me with a baby asap and I am so, so lucky my survival instinct kicked in and took me to Planned Parenthood.

This woman is in an abusive relationship. He got her to marry him 11 months into their relationship. He pressured her into getting pregnant soon after and is now being a callous, selfish asshole and it'll only get worse. I guarantee there's a lot more she isn't telling. This makes me so sad for her. She thinks she's "basically ok" now after having been violently assaulted by her previous boyfriend but that's not how trauma works and she unfortunately stepped into the pitfall that a lot of abuse victims do, which is leaving one abuser only to end up with another because they never really healed, never developed their self worth/love, never learned how to listen to and embrace their gift of fear, never learned how to establish and enforce boundaries, etc.

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-02-24T04:12:54+00:00

This is horrible.

GodILoveTheEnglish · 2021-02-24T08:18:07+00:00

this woman: I'm not feeling well and I don't think I am capable of doing housework and having sex with you because I feel so awful

the scrote: that's a you problem, you're not useful if you aren't doing my basic chores and getting my dick wet

the scrote in 9 months: i'm not taking care of this baby also have sex with me while you're still in stitches and in pain

Fountain62 · 2021-02-24T07:43:00+00:00

Id get an abortion and divorce his ass 🤷🏽‍♀️

K0rla · 2021-02-24T08:45:30+00:00

He wanted a baby and cleaning machine, and he’s now mad that the machine wants to be treated like a person. What a terrible situation to be in, I hope she leaves.

WornTheTshirt73 · 2021-02-24T06:38:35+00:00

Oh Christ this is before the baby has even arrived .... oh my god she is in so much trouble I wish I could tell her ... puke in his face sister and run....

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-02-24T09:17:36+00:00

And this is why you don't let a man bum rush you into marriage and children. Sounds like she has terrible boundaries. And the part where she's being so obsequious saying that she promises she'll make up for all the sex later. She seems to believe she's his dick sucking machine. Sad all around.

Oh and the part where he said that he doesn't see why a baby should change anything. The for him was silent.

PinkBlair99 · 2021-02-24T04:14:41+00:00

abort the fetus and the relationship

Turbulent_Gazelle · 2021-02-24T06:38:49+00:00

HOLY FUCKING SHIT SOMEONE INVITE HER HERE.

Things will only get worse for her after the baby is born. May Hera help her.

frogchickenhorse · 2021-02-24T08:00:31+00:00

A predator. Get a divorce and set all his shit on fire.

Squidwrd_Tortellini · 2021-02-24T07:12:23+00:00

two words: abort & divorce

(you know, the rights that women fought decades for, so women can save themselves and their potential children from men like this)

Honestly_th0 · 2021-02-24T11:43:18+00:00

You can order abortion pills online and receive them in the mail. It’s called Women on Web. More women should know they have other options outside what has been legislated by men to control their bodies.

TheFinalGirl_21 · 2021-02-24T02:55:52+00:00

It’s such a shame she’s too far along. And I’ll just leave that there.

mandoa_sky · 2021-02-24T08:29:35+00:00

i'm glad people in the comments section are pointing out to her that it's abuse

SeaNegotiation8 · 2021-02-24T12:13:14+00:00

I am so relieved that I’m not the only one here that read this post and thought “OH MY GOD GET AN ABORTION ASAP!!”

MulticoloredCatMug · 2021-02-24T06:29:20+00:00

Abort that baby and run for the hills. Holy shit

MummyCroc · 2021-02-24T10:18:54+00:00

I was her. But my SO bathed me, tried to feed me (failed because of hyperemesis) and took me to the doctor when I was too sick to do anything. He also looked after our then 18 month old.

If my husband had treated me the way hers is, I would have had an abortion and divorce in that order

Extra-Tadpole4909 · 2021-02-24T04:14:22+00:00

High on cognition, low on empathy.

Tell him why you're feeling this way.

Give him what he wants: fail more in bed, fail more in other duties, fail more because you prioritize getting pregnant by him.

FAIL MORE.

slight_sapphire · 2021-02-24T09:11:52+00:00

Echoing what others have said, she needs to get an abortion and divorce him ASAP. He’s a manipulative abuser, and if she stays with him and has the baby, it will get much worse. If she leaves him, but keeps the baby, he’ll still be able to use his rights as the child’s father to make both of their lives hell. Obviously easier said than done, but terminating the pregnancy and leaving him would be her best option for her and the unborn child in this case.

pet-fouffe · 2021-02-24T08:54:47+00:00

Literal red flags parade 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

spinsterchachkies · 2021-02-24T06:50:58+00:00

Is 11 weeks too late to get an abortion? Because I would be done with all of this after what he just said. Fucking out

ScrotonimoStilton · 2021-02-24T09:44:47+00:00

I can't read anymore about these women procreating with the most vile shits in the world. I'm sorry for them but these posts disgust me

littleminipipette · 2021-02-24T08:06:10+00:00

What a narcissistic asshole 😤. The nerveeee to say something like that when he isn’t the one carrying the baby. It takes a lot of energy, time, & effort to produce a baby. This guy has no love in his heart. If he cared about you & the baby, he should be understanding & pick up the house duties then shower you with food & love for both you & the baby. The better you treat your wifey the better she treats you x 10 fold and vice versa. Guys like him are inconsiderate & selfish, they only care about their needs first. Give him a chance to redeem himself by communicating your needs & your level of expectations and if he doesn’t follow through with his actions, please be strong enough to leave. This is abusive. You deserve real love.

Queen_Evergreen · 2021-02-24T12:51:21+00:00

Why would you ever listen to man who has never had a kid, tell you he thinks YOU should have a kid.

It reminds me how in Spain before the paternal leave policy, men consistently said they wanted large families. After men started taking leave to care for said kids, overwhelming majority reported wanting 2 max.

laeriel_c · 2021-02-24T07:55:20+00:00

She needs to get an abortion before it's too late :/

pinkpetals- · 2021-02-24T07:27:10+00:00

Sounds like a complete control freak, lacking simple empathy. Hope she leaves.

2021-02-24T08:00:30+00:00

This is beyond sad - he's being inhuman and clearly doesn't love her.

applestorm · 2021-02-24T11:46:42+00:00

There are red flags every 5 words of this post.

Girls, if a guy is trying to speed up the relationship: FLEE! He 100% wants to trap you before his HVM façade falls so that you can't get out. This is the method common abusers use with their victims. Always take your time when dating, don't rush because it'll always lead to a disaster.

Lavender_flow · 2021-02-24T12:30:30+00:00

This woman needs a serious wake up call. She is trapped in abusive relationship no.2 He might not violently assault her right now, but she has no idea what this man could turn into in the future.

ON TOP FO THAT: he is already abusive, but it is covert abuse, so it is harder to detect. Him saying those things to her are straight up abuse and he 100% pushed for marriage/baby to trap her. Women really need to learn these things about men. She needs to get an abortion and get the hell out of that relationship.

BlazingHazard · 2021-02-24T14:20:01+00:00

Having that realisation at 11 weeks gives her an opportunity to get an abortion and get the fuck away from this scrote, but she needs to remove the rose colored glasses first. It's too late for boundaries.

Some__Stranger · 2021-02-24T15:44:20+00:00

Her husband seems super abusive. There were so many red flags, from him aggressively pursuing her to him insisting that they have a baby quickly, likely so he could trap her.

It seems like he love-bombed her and then flipped the script when he felt like he got a firm grasp on her.

The list he presented to her boggles my mind, it's just so disgusting to think that men like this are actually real.

To be 100% honest, at 11 weeks pregnant, I would personally have an abortion and get a divorce because it will only get far worse with him. I would not want to be tied to this demon of a man for life.

Kristeninmyskin · 2021-02-24T07:27:10+00:00

[deleted]

BetterToBeLonely · 2021-02-24T14:23:59+00:00

This poor woman needs an internal glow up overnight so she can leave this guy in the dust. Any man dragging you to the alter before you've even known each other a year is going to be a control freak. And now he's shown he's a heartless bastard as well.

nyclaurco · 2021-02-24T17:05:39+00:00

abort it. if men could pay $800 to press a button that would abort the fetus when they weren’t happy with the relationship, their collective finger would be hurting. he doesn’t deserve to be a father. you don’t need to be tied to this ass for the rest of your life. you are in your first trimester, so get going.

1Here4Bach · 2021-02-24T18:28:55+00:00

As long as women are the only ones who are able to carry children for 9 months then “50-50” will always be a problem.

MJD_1_3 · 2021-02-24T12:42:32+00:00

My heart. How could you treat the mother of your child this way? Never mind the fact they’re recently married. Come on, bro!

christmasforoutlaws · 2021-02-24T02:49:16+00:00

The best time to have left this guy was immediately after he assaulted her. The second best time is now.

SearchLightsInc · 2021-02-24T15:43:53+00:00

Shit, this cant be real?

Dexaroo5716 · 2021-02-24T16:23:59+00:00

Oooh get out now girl. Please please get out now. This scrote will treat you like garbage and blame you for it. RUN. He’s insensitive now, wait until highly painful and traumatic BIRTH! Hell no.

Pochi2000 · 2021-02-24T03:51:53+00:00

I cannot believe females who tolerate men like this.

She thinks trying to set boundaries & asking him to be understanding is going to fix this, pffft 🤦‍♀️

PasDeTout · 2021-02-24T17:39:56+00:00

The whole rushing her into things is a red flag.

Things are only going to get worse. Wait until husband finds out how much a baby kills your sex life.

Alpha_Aries · 2021-02-24T17:54:39+00:00

If theres one thing that pisses me off the most about LVM, it's that they expect us to not only perform all this labor, but to entertain them as well.

Papaverinum · 2021-02-24T08:43:22+00:00

Married for seven months. Together for 18 YEARS. WHAT. So basically she was his placeholder forever gf, but she somehow made him marry her, and now he hates her guts.

yolosunshine · 2021-02-25T01:07:03+00:00

🎶It’s abortion time 🎶

Before or after the divorce is up to you.

ironglaciers · 2021-02-25T01:37:11+00:00

He does not give a single fuck about her. At all.

If she can, abort. For real. And get the hell away from him.

Miss_Insher · 2021-02-25T06:48:43+00:00

What a selfish little shit 😟 I feel so sorry for her. Imagine seeing his true colors when you are so vulnerable, sick and carrying his baby.

Title	50-50 is a lie.
Author	oi_oi_oink
Upvotes	542
Comments	114
Date	February 24, 2021 2:45 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lr1nq3/5050_is_a_lie/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/50-50-is-a-lie.745996 https://theredarchive.com/post/745996

Comments