A huge issue with modern dating is men fast-forwarding the relationship on you which causes a huge host of issues. First, let me explain my last few dates with a guy I met a several months ago. John seemed like he could be a good fit for me as we had the same graduate degree, he did a few years in the peace corps and he has a great position working in the government. We both make 6 figures, so money isn’t an issue for either of us. He is also really tall, like 6’5, which I was really attracted too. However, the first date he wanted to take me on was the dreaded walking date. At this point our city wasn’t opened yet and we have beautiful architecture, so I unfortunately let this go. A few weeks later our city opened up outdoor dining. John asks me to meet him at a location in the city for a date and kept the details light. He hinted he had planned something great for us. Nope.... Instead he planned, you guessed it, another walking date. I am beyond irritated since I wore heeled boots because he’s so tall and finally got to dress up a little bit. He walks me around the park like a dog. I throw one last Hail Mary. As we walk by a beautiful terraced French restaurant and I mention I am hungry and very thirsty. This guy looks at me and says, “you can grab something at the grocery store on the way back.” I am beyond irritated. I march back to the front of his apartment and I tell him I am going to leave since I am very hungry and thirsty. BTW, at this point I hadn’t even kissed him. This guy, no joke, tells me no worries, that I can come up and spend the night. At 2 pm in the afternoon. Like I am going to spend the next 24 hours just chilling in his apartment? Are we going to watch all 3 LOR movies back-to-back? How are we filling this time, John??? Anyways, I was livid and said no thanks then blocked him on the way to my car.

Basically, it’s this: they want to hook you with their low effort, then fast-forward the “relationship” to where you should be at around 8 months or a year mark. John skipped taking me out, skipped wooing me, skipped getting to know me, skipped everything that is fun for me. He blew by the entire courtship process. He just wanted a low effort to hook up or he just wanted a FWB to hang out in his house with for 24 hours and waste time with. He’s currently messaging our mutual friends saying he doesn’t understand where he went wrong, that he really liked me, blah blah blah. This guy will never get better. He will never make a reservation at a restaurant. He will never plan a trip. He will always play the bumbling, low effort idiot.

At the end of the day, this was my first step into the dating world in over a year. John looked great on paper but in the end showed no effort. I feel like I saved myself so much pain, heartache and time by applying our FDS principles, because old Jane would have never picked up on this. I feel very ready to get back into the dating scene because this was so easy to brush off. I didn’t internalize his bad behavior and I don’t care a damn about him. I feel centered on myself and my own needs, and it feels so great. Next!