Hmmm.. I wonder why this is?

Radenoughyet · 2021-05-22T00:35:19+00:00

Most men when you don’t orgasm: “I’ve seriously never had this problem with a woman before”

electroloop · 2021-05-21T17:29:55+00:00

Porn would make you believe that women orgasm from PIV sex in 2 minutes of jackhammering, moaning like a walrus and squirting on their male partners. This is why so many men are conditioned to think that sex is just a perfomative thing for us, and the false belief that our entire existence revolves around trying to get an orgasm from a man

TheDameWithoutASmile · 2021-05-21T17:48:24+00:00

Relevant quotes from the full study:

"Research suggests that women may set the bar for satisfactory sex quite low - specifically, the absence of pain and degradation rather than the presence of pleasure and orgasm."

[Regarding men being more likely to engage in manual clitoral stimulation and oral sex when in a relationship, while fellatio was prevalent among hook-ups and relationships] "According to the authors, these findings suggest the orgasm gap is larger in casual sex because women are less likely to feel entitled to seek their own sexual pleasure and men are less motivated to provide their partners with pleasure..."

straightouttashtetl · 2021-05-21T16:50:43+00:00

The jump from 64% to 7% is a mindjob

jesusbatman · 2021-05-22T00:48:50+00:00

I was reading a thread somewhere else on Reddit today and in the commentd section two different men admitted that their girlfriend broke up with him shortly after he gifted her a vibrator. 😂

Matriarchmage21 · 2021-05-22T00:12:24+00:00

7%? I'm surprised it's that high. Did you see the percentage of younger men (under 40) who think spitting on and choking their partner are normal parts of sex?!

neutronstarr · 2021-05-21T16:55:39+00:00

This is also speaks to the pickme mentality of engaging in casual hookups. Because if the pickme isn't experiencing satisfaction, they are obviously pursuing hookups for some other reason -- namely, the validation they get from LVM attention.

bringtwizzlers · 2021-05-22T00:09:58+00:00

I've legitimately never had an orgasm from a man, so. And not a single one of my exes ever tried to please me or make me come, so again... I hate men.

peachblossom241 · 2021-05-21T22:26:31+00:00

I got downvoted once in a popular sex subreddit for saying pain during intercourse (even specified that I can only speak from my own personal experience) could be caused by a lack of arousal. People don’t like to be reminded that they’re shitty in the sack I guess. 🤷‍♀️

entpgirl415 · 2021-05-21T18:41:03+00:00

It’s also wild what some women tell themselves when they’re having casual sex. I was discussing this with one of my friends and I said it was wrong for men to use women as masturbation tools, and she literally goes “what do you think I did when I was hooking up in college?”. I wanted to understand her thinking further so I asked her, “wow ok so did you actually get off bc I know it’s hard for most women through casual sex.” And she was all “of course I got off! However I always had a problem getting wet until my current boyfriend”. The mental gymnastics of what she said was so wild to me I didn’t want to press the conversation further.

RoyalStay · 2021-05-22T00:38:17+00:00

I didn’t realize this would cause such a commotion... the truth hurts, scrotes! 🤪

TellCerseeItWasMe · 2021-05-21T18:26:47+00:00

Yup! My ex of 4 years literally blamed my NEVER orgasming on me and not on him or his average, premature ejaculating dick!

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-05-21T18:19:32+00:00

The reality is that humping a pillow would give a woman more chances to orgasm then sex with a man or any attempt from the man.

The difference from 90 to 7 and then 60% to 7% is.... Huge. And it's not even 60%, it's almost 65% fgs. And it's 7% not just from penetrative sex but oral &co, it's 7% total.

So you have 0.07 out of 100, really.

My excel spreadsheet just shrivelled and died.

shutup201 · 2021-05-21T21:27:31+00:00

Im glad more women are telling the truth. People need to stop pretending like women get pleasure out of simply sticking something into the vagina. That's total bs.

Eta: I mean women should be aroused and many need foreplay (mental and physical stimulation). A lot of this bad sex is mainly because many men don't care to truly give women pleasure. They care about screwing like they're in a porn, which usually means to shove something somewhere into a woman's orifice (how sexy does that sound for the woman? Exactly).

PinturaMagnifica · 2021-05-21T17:57:54+00:00

Is “our cultual scripts for heterosexual sex” code for men suck at sex and are too lazy to learn?

It’s not “our” cultural scripts, it’s men’s. Pls leave me out of this, lady.

Newwavesupport3657 · 2021-05-21T20:16:50+00:00

That just says a lot about how much men hate women... that their performance is so bad.

It’s not that hard to get a woman to orgasm if you know what you’re doing. They aren’t loving or affectionate it’s a turn off.

bravebeautyx · 2021-05-21T22:06:19+00:00

Finally found a guy that actually cares about making me climax. Sex is like 360 from my LTR where he virtually never made me orgasm in 3yrs

Ladies find a man and make him WAIT before having sex (6mo at least) and don’t be afraid to tell him exactly what you like in bed. Don’t settle babes!

ivy176 · 2021-05-22T05:19:35+00:00

Makes sense. Many men believe that women don't experience sexual arousal or climax like men do. They think we feel some kind of vague arousal that's not necessarily physical, and that our orgasms are more like a pleasant feeling all throughout the sex act, or mini orgasm (and that's why we can have multiples). And it's like.... no.

They get a very bad education from porn. I don't know why porn hasn't at least become more realistic by now. It's obvious that men are increasingly seeking out connection and realism, that's why camgirls and onlyfans have become so ridiculously popular. And the reality is that most normal men do find a woman being turned on and having an orgasm to be arousing.. so why don't they actually SHOW that? Are men more aroused by seeing men cum, than women?

CloacaDiddler · 2021-05-21T23:40:56+00:00

Sex = when a man finishes. Isn’t it really scary how many men don’t understand that women might want some pleasure out of it too, and aren’t just performative fuck dolls? Moment of silence for our ancestors who were decades away from this even being a discussion...

Crazy_Meezer · 2021-05-22T00:18:49+00:00

Because it's not about our gratification, it's about theirs.

modernmedusaa · 2021-05-21T18:12:59+00:00

[deleted]

nana19_ · 2021-05-21T21:07:25+00:00

It’s why women who think having friends with benefits is cool, are wrong... it’s not really benefiting her, but she still doesn’t know it. The most times they are just trying to convince a man to love them.... average sex is not worth for women, but it’s for men.

islandmaiden · 2021-05-21T19:00:34+00:00

Ladies, if he can't make you cum on your first time, don't even bother. He won't be able to make you cum for a very long time after that. If he's had sex before and can't make you cum, that shows that he didn't care for the pleasure of those women to learn skills that would pleasure you. He should be learning from experience and resources, not from porn where the ladies fake orgasm from absolutely nothing

Dinaslabyrinth · 2021-05-21T21:44:28+00:00

Am I selfish or sadistic? Because every time I have sex with a guy, I make sure I orgasm. Even if he doesn’t.. lol. I am actually more likely to cum before he does because admittedly, I prioritize my pleasure. My longest relationship was with a woman. So I understand my body/desire nature very well. I tend to use men like masturbation objects. If they earn my trust and respect, then I will consider their pleasure later down the line. Is this strange?

badbadnotbueno · 2021-05-22T06:22:20+00:00

This is one reason why I gave up casual sex way before I even discovered FDS. The mind blowing sex was so rare and I started feeling like I was on some weird sex quest to find the perfect partner. Most guys don’t care if you cum or not.

WorkaholicParty · 2021-05-21T20:12:42+00:00

I think the gap is in largely due to men being incompetent and/or selfish, especially if we're talking about hookups where men explicitly state that they don't care about the woman.

But unpopular opinion: even when the guy is determined and skilled a lot of women are uncomfortable with receiving pleasure in a heterosexual dynamic due to social norms, porn culture, and sometimes even pick-meism.

Regarding pickmes in particular, I hear lots of women who claim they don't need orgasms to have a good time, that Os being the objective stresses them out (why is your own pleasure uncomfortable to you? why don't you explore that?). These women have learned how to give head in 50 different ways but are uncomfortable with being eaten out. And that's sex positivity by the way: telling women that having sex without never having to orgasm is totally valid and they need to tell their male partners to turn down their ego (the only time when it's needed) so they can focus on the pêen. These are the same women who say size doesn't matter btw but they don't even get off so...

Our culture is phallocentric so it's not a surprise that physiologically women are more comfortable and receptive to sex pleasure when a man isn't involved.

EDIT: I should add that the uneasiness some women experience is actually 100% valid. Maybe they can pick on the fact their partner is potentially abusive, misogynistic, ego-driven and what not and as such their bodies shut down the bonding chemicals.

eveloe · 2021-05-22T17:31:10+00:00

The problem for me was I'm in the 7%, where it happens every first time 🙈

I only had hookups with men that most people would find attractive (6 foot+, gorgeous face, 6 pack, great ass: ie. models, personal trainers, hot young finance dudes, etc).

I htink someone should study the orgasm gap between women who sleep with ugly/average men vs women who sleep with hot guys. Their looks got me halfway there, honestly.

I don't think I'm particularly attractive, but I don't see the point of having sex with someone I don't find SEXy.

betsybasset · 2021-05-21T22:18:27+00:00

It's official ladies.

BIOLOGY aka dick doesn't satisfy us.

Let's ignore men and use our hands 🖐

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-05-21T17:12:41+00:00

When was this study done? I can see that 94% going down as young women think it's normal to need a vibrator and to watch porn in order to orgasm. We're cheating a lot of young women by pretending women need porn/vibrators to cum.

anotherdamnloser · 2021-05-21T17:23:11+00:00

Amen!

woadsky · 2021-05-21T22:50:50+00:00

I can only speak to USA culture but there doesn't seem to be any learning material that encourages and addresses men to be a skilled lover. The absence of available and well-known information gives the impression there is no value in knowing how to make a woman orgasm. Sure, there are probably some books and videos out there if a man seeks it out, but there doesn't seem to be a common understanding that skilled foreplay and knowledge of a lover's body is very necessary. The topic just doesn't seem to be floating around as common knowledge and something that is consistently promoted.

Guyincognito9876 · 2021-05-22T01:47:08+00:00

If being a lesbian was a choice, I’d be the biggest dyke of all time.

AP__ · 2021-05-21T21:07:49+00:00

7%?!?! I call BS

HeroBrine0907 · 2022-08-23T13:53:31+00:00

Source: Trust me bro

Title	Hmmm.. I wonder why this is?
Author	RoyalStay
Upvotes	2918
Comments	152
Date	May 21, 2021 4:48 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nhx334/hmmm_i_wonder_why_this_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/hmmm-i-wonder-why-this-is.753535 https://theredarchive.com/post/753535

Comments