current dating climate in 2023

mnt68 · 2023-11-10T03:45:11+00:00

Slowly learning to accept living life solo long term and forgetting about some life goals.

Very few options for meeting women today that is considered “acceptable.”

Work (🚫 - get fired )
Dating apps (🚫 top 10% men only ),
Random public spaces (🚫 super risky if she doesn’t find you instantly attractive )
Bars (🚫 most women want to be left alone to be with their friends )
Groups (🚫 meetup organizers are increasingly making rules against flirting with other members irl or using the meetup app.)
Thru Friends (🚫 nobody wants to play matchmaker anymore, its awkward )
Speed Dating (practically non-existent unless you live in a large city )
Passport (basically you have to leave the US and learn a new language/culture.)

I’m constantly amazed at how there are so many women happy in a relationship while so many men are lonely. All in a country where the gender ratio is nearly 50/50. The numbers don’t add up. I don’t think many happy women realize that they are actually just sharing guys.

jverveslayer · 2023-11-10T06:15:14+00:00

How is the current dating culture effecting your life and do you think this is a passing phase or is it here to stay?

I don't find places like this subreddit to be an actual reflection of real-world dating (or people that I've met).

I think in the US things like dating apps, atomization of society/isolation of people, growing risk-aversion of youth, gender-combativeness and antagonism in some places, some other subtler culture things, and possibly social media have had a noticeable effect on dating. But I'm not convinced it's super drastically different from before either.

I think some of these effects will continue on and grow (atomization, risk aversion, cultural attitudes). I think it's possible that online dating and social media will at least not grow as fast as they have been or go through big changes. I hope gender antagonism stuff will lessen, but I couldn't tell you which way it'll go.

In the end you just have to be the best person you can and learn how to succeed in the world you're in

SillyMushroomTip · 2023-11-10T18:04:17+00:00

I don't think its a passing phase, if anything its going to get worst.

It was hard in 2010 but if you talked to a cute girl at the bar/coffee shop got her phone number and asked her out, if felt like there was a chance to take her out. An average looking guy with with a sharp personality there was a real chance to succeed.

2023 is just on another scale of difficult. Trying to date women today just feels demoralizing and frustrating. Looking at a woman the wrong way gets you labeled a creep, trying to date a girl younger than you, your a groomer, You hook up with that girl at the bar last night and she's feeling regretful about it maybe she hit you with a fake grape accusation's.

The dating game just isnt the same anymore and I'm only 30. For retrospect I was dating before Tinder even came out and Online Dating was still considered Taboo/Sad

fancy_leftovers · 2023-11-10T03:44:30+00:00

I haven't dated in over 10 years (I've been in a monogamous relationship) so I'm definitely not affected. But we know I love to give my 2 cents so here we go!

Women feel they are always in danger of being stalked, raped, and murdered. Now, I'm a fat ugly woman, I do not fear for my life. In fact, I find a certain privilege in my unattractiveness. Im invisible. Almost like I am a man. I don't fear being approached, I don't fear walking alone. I do not fear men.

But if I did, I could understand not wanting to be approached and wanting control over any intimate or romantic situation. It's gotta be scary being weak and little. I wouldn't know. I can only imagine.

A woman will think an ugly man is more dangerous because she will assume he is more desperate and nefarious in his thirst. Or, that he probably just tries every girl he sees, so she is not even special to him, and how is that romantic?. That's why a handsome man is a little safer to approach a woman, because she knows he isn't desperate, she was chosen. But sometimes, even if you're good-looking, you can be seen as creepy. Because of the increased awareness, there is increased paranoia. It's unavoidable.

Do I think it will improve? No. Maybe as genderlines become increasingly more fluid, we will come to find a more egalitarian unity between the sexes. But idk. There is so much hate and fear and assumption on both sides of the table.

FebruaryEightyNine · 2023-11-10T12:02:57+00:00

I'm not single. But from what I've seen the biggest issue with modern dating is people having no real understanding of what they want. Men are bad for this but I do believe women are even worse. It also kinda varies depending on a woman's socioeconomic placing, self awareness and education.

What I see among gen Zers is a ton of virtue signalling. I see so many men and women claim they want things like integrity, kindness, empathy...but in reality I actually think people are shallower than ever. If you're someone whose able to see through peoples grandstanding you can really feast. I'm tall and in good shape and the absolute ease I had of running through women on nights out when they got a little drunk and their true feelings came out made me kinda pity average dudes who actually have to run through hoops for women who'll give it up the moment they don't feel pressure to adhere to their daytime persona.

onerous_onanist · 2023-11-10T06:47:43+00:00

Seems the same over here in central/eastern Europe

Women are still honest about wanting strong men and what they say they want aligns with the reasonable part of the red pill, the vast majority still want kids, even the ones who hated kids in their 20s completely flip once they hit 30

Either the western world is really that fucked or it's just the internet exaggerating things, if it's real, the passport bro behavior makes sense to me

Manbehindthemask2468 · 2023-11-10T11:45:01+00:00

I just adapt which is what all men should strive for. If women reward a certain type of traits, then emulate those traits to the highest degree and crush your competition. The overall quality of women has gotten lower so I don’t really take women seriously for the most part.

Curious_Attention719 · 2023-11-10T03:16:52+00:00

At least in the US, I think the estimate that 45% of eligible women being childless and unmarried by 2030 is conservative. With how they select men and unrealistic standards they have for a long-term partner, I'd say 60%. I've given up on women in my metro because they don't want a partner. They want to string guys along to pay their bills, feed them, and entertain them, but don't want to put out or they do engage in pay for play and are mad when you don't want to wife them up or take them seriously. I honestly wish I was asexual most days.

wecovetwhatwesee · 2023-11-10T05:55:56+00:00

Dumpster fire.

Young women whoring it up because they have all the time in the world, slut shaming is shamed, and social media automates ~~casual sex~~ situationships.

Middle aged women looking for i~~nvestment bankers who look like Chris Hemsworth~~ equal partners.

Older women with even higher standards looking for ~~a retirement plan on legs~~ someone to share their life with.

If I was looking, I'd probably just hang myself in the closet with my favorite tie.

Appropriate-Ad-8030 · 2023-11-10T15:45:34+00:00

I don’t date American women…I work remote and I’m out of the country for half the year, my girlfriend is in Medellin…I’ve opted to find a different market…the US dating market is just too toxic

obviousredflag · 2023-11-10T10:07:35+00:00

As someone being born in the 80s too, i don't understand your issue. You should be immune to the current nonsense about not bothering women who are deathly afraid of being approached by men. It's clearly ideological bullshit that has no base in reality and also no obligation for you to follow it. You can approach women as much as you want. Fear of being shamed is something that is within you, not in "dating climate". I have no fear of being shamed. And i don't even know for what i could be shamed. Having the courage and confidence, the positive view of self, to be able to approach a woman one is interested in is hardly something one can be shamed for. Your fear of being judged is due to a lack of trust in yourself to be a good guy and seen as that by society. Judge me all you want. My sense of selfworth is stronger than any screeching woman on reddit or twitter, who tries to tell me what other women want or don't want and who do not know a thing of me.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-11-10T10:36:23+00:00

The current dating culture has been affecting me a lot because before I was able to her only a handful of dates, but now, look at me, haven't got a single date for 8 years. Been trying to, really hard sometimes, but it ended up in lots of rejections, nasty ones as well, ridiculing, and even one serious accusation just because I cold approached once. I remember clearly that many people advised me in my 20s that the worse a girl can do is say no. Well, that is not the case anymore clearly, cause the girl can ridicule you, slap you, spit on you and falsely accuse you without facing any consequences and these things happened to me, which is why I refuse to cold approach anymore and I think that is a pretty valid reason.

Safinated · 2023-11-10T17:04:08+00:00

Things have changed. Most people adapt

Fastenedhotdog55 · 2023-11-15T08:11:53+00:00

How to do current dating: you don't. Because using Eva AI virtual dating app and renting hookers from time to time is far less stressing and far cheaper than doing real relationships.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-11-10T03:33:31+00:00

How is not being objectified by randos causing depression in men? As I understand it, the difference isn’t the climate, but the lack of social spheres. My siblings are 15-20 years older and they pushed me pretty hard to join. To play sports, to join clubs, to host parties and meet friends at the beach.

People who aren’t interested in friends and socializing and people whose community is largely online can’t do this, so they seem to think that cold approaching strangers is the only way to meet women.

AceOfSpadesGymBro2 · 2023-11-10T04:01:09+00:00

I'm in my 40s. Happily married, but I know if I were to become single today, I'd have a date lined up within a few hours. Unlike guys today, I overcame my fear of talking to women and going for what I want long time ago. I wasn't going to be handed anything, so I learned to go out and procure it for myself.

I've had women wanting to get engaged, marry me, have kids with me. There was a period in my life I couldn't keep them off of me.

Guys never believe my secret. It's easier than saying abra cadabra and their legs opening like magic. It's easier than that. The second you stop needing women to be happy, fulfilled and enjoying life, they won't be able to get enough of you. Every man I've met who makes women super important in his life, has had terrible trouble getting and keeping women.

321gumby · 2023-11-10T15:40:37+00:00

Guys....seriously get you a good woman from a different country. It's seriously great.

Finding_Myway · 2023-11-10T08:15:53+00:00

Millennial born in the early-mid 90's here. I haven't really dated much in the past 2 years but before that, I did go out and date a fair few girls and was in committed relationship where we lived together for a couple of years.

The current culture of dating simply put is not worth my time and I personally think those years I spent chasing women in my youth were a mistake and I wish I did something more productive instead.

As for how it's affecting my life? It's not I've taken myself out of the dating pool and am happy chasing my goals.

zaqariah9999 · 2023-11-10T14:02:48+00:00

Ah yes, men not being able to approach women in public is literally the worst thing to happen in humanity. be fucking for real we now have datings apps, social media, friend of a friend. if you fail at all of these options then that's on you not society. even cold approaching if you are a good fit with a woman it may work out but going in you must assume a huge risk of rejection and that's okay, but you're not owed anything, it's all in YOUR hands.

y2kjanelle · 2023-11-10T19:29:19+00:00

There's honestly a lot to it.

But tbh, it serves me pretty well. I'm someone who is very, very engaged with the ideas of freedom and choice. I like individuality and I like people. I would hate being forced or socially shamed into a relationship. I would hate a man being with me because it's expected of him or because he has no other options or because I don't have a choice.

I like how things are now. I'm currently in a relationship where I don't have to be anyone else but me. And that goes for him too. He just is who he is and he's loved for that.

Our love together means that out of 7 billion people on this earth, or idk 3 billion for each of us, we choose each other. Every day. To me, there's just nothing more special than that.

RepresentativeBook62 · 2023-11-10T20:23:53+00:00

"Not knowing if men should approach a woman they find attractive out of fear of being shamed and judged"

For 99.99% of men, this just isn't a thing. Men who are terrified of approaching women simply use it as an excuse to not have to approach women.

Let"a quit pretending women laugh at and humiliate men who approach them. Because they don't.

leosandlattes · 2023-11-10T03:45:50+00:00

Did not affect my dating life. I’ve never had an objectively “bad” boyfriend except for my high school boyfriend who cheated on me when we went off to separate colleges. I genuinely don’t think he’s a bad person… just made a stupid decision that cost him a relationship.

In my adult life I chose not to be on any apps of any kind. In my mind those were spaces for hookups and “bad” dating culture.

I have always been long term and marriage oriented. I met and dated people organically in my everyday life. It wasn’t that long before I found my person.

I have never once thought men weren’t shit or anything like that. But maybe staying off apps saved me from being jaded about dating.

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Hefty-Lobster-5513 · 2023-11-10T04:37:18+00:00

Dating apps are iffy. I think it depends on what you use. Tinder didn’t work for me but Bumble, Meet Me and Tagged was fine.

ezCrotchHeadbutt · 2023-11-10T18:01:11+00:00

That was definitely a big issue when I got interested in women. I befriended an experienced man and he happily questioned my prejudices and sharpened my senses to positive signals. This changed my point of view completely and I found myself surrounded with opportunities in my daily life. I moved my goal from "getting into a relationship" to "learning how to approach women", as a puzzle to figure out. I played out scenarios in my head and how to defuse any unpleasant situation. Putting the theory to practice, I found that if you get the right signals and are always prepared to back off, nothing can go wrong and good things can happen nonetheless.

In conclusion, this anxiety allowed me to mature, and was also pretty terrible. I was gifted with openness and supportive friends, but believe this additional hurdle keeps many kind men out.

SeveralLiterature980 · 2023-11-10T22:13:39+00:00

It's pretty great.

If you are a gl guy with money or on the make with a good career and were lucky enough to come off age when most men, just due to the dearth of online social communities, acquired real life acumen with talking to strangers/going out....

...you'll always have your needs met.

I believe that the increasingly gynocentric nature of society has also, unfortunately, given men some unrealistic expectations, i.e. expecting to live life as a woman.

Men from Gen Z expect a lot more attention, they expect a lot more effort, they expect a lot more emotional support/validation, and expect companionship. When I say expect I mean that they desire these things such that, when confronted with the reality of living life as a man, they are supremely unhappy.

Which is understandable.

But a lot of them are just so soft.

The truth about male existence is best summarized in this gem of a quote:

"We're all scared. You hid in that ditch because you think there's still hope, but, Blithe..., the only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function as a soldier is supposed to function- without mercy, without compassion, without remorse. All war depends upon it."

giveuporfindaway · 2023-11-12T03:31:00+00:00

It will be self corrected with population collapse. The planet is 50/50 men/women. This means means women need to fuck men they don't like or genetically die. Most prefer to die.

Title	current dating climate in 2023
Author	DeanG30
Upvotes	49
Comments	194
Date	November 10, 2023 3:06 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17runxj/current_dating_climate_in_2023/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/current-dating-climate-in-2023.1237956 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237956

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