Do you slutshame?

plumtastic · 2022-08-31T01:37:05+00:00

I don't shame anyone nor do I celebrate it, privately I disapprove but that's my own personal opinion and no one needs to be subjected to it. Just because I think it's wrong doesn't mean I am entitled to tell others what values they should hold.

Bonds_Girl · 2022-08-30T22:54:26+00:00

I don’t openly slut shame men, but I’m not about to date community penis.

Booexgirlfriend · 2022-08-31T00:41:42+00:00

I don't know.

The truth is, I don't understand casual sex. I understand the need to want sex but I find it hard to see the benefits, for women, in my case.

And I'm not talking about the false idea of turning a casual relationship into a serious relationship.

But I don't call them "sluts", I don't belittle them. So I don't know if that's "slutshame".

On the other hand, I refuse to date or take them (men) seriously, because as I said before, it's not my style.

As for clothes, I don't care.

Miserable_Yam4778 · 2022-08-31T04:34:28+00:00

Depends. Are they being a responsible slut? Are they getting regularly tested? Are they prioritizing the more important stuff over getting laid? Are they making sure to only slut around with folks who are unattached?

While I myself am not interested in casual sex I have a decent amount of friends who are ethical, thoughtful, careful sluts and I love them.

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2022-08-30T23:21:15+00:00

Sometimes. I slut shame my brother and his friends for sleeping with the worst women imaginable and then complaining about those same women. They’re gross and they don’t even like them and I find that nasty. I don’t really have any girl friends who are sluts.

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-08-31T06:24:07+00:00

Yes, especially the fuckboys that expect a low N count woman.

blueberrypie02 · 2022-08-30T23:23:50+00:00

I don't shame them, but I secretly think that some of them probably have underlying issues.

Some poly people I know definitely have attachment issues and a lot of them are on the spectrum and use the community as a way to get intimacy which they can't find regularly.

But I know some women that are just having fun with their time im life and they're generally grounded and happy people.

I pride myself in wearing and looking fantastic in slutty clothes, so I normally compliment other slutty clothes.

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2022-08-30T23:28:48+00:00

Nah. Though not a slut my sins against chastity are nothing to scoff at. Glass houses and all that.

KikiYuyu · 2022-08-31T02:04:15+00:00

I probably would only openly "slutshame" someone if they were someone I cared about and I want them to make better life choices. If I don't know them, I'll have an opinion but I'm not gonna make a huge deal out of it.

Acaciduh · 2022-08-30T23:16:53+00:00

The problem with slut shaming is it’s usually entirely done with unknown info. Unless you have observed this person engaged in fucking multiple people it’s all speculative. I’ve know girls as young as 12 who were virgins but just had the bad luck of growing boobs early be called sluts A women going to clubs or wearing a risqué or provocative outfit men will slut shame them even if they are low n-count and the church girl cd be getting railed every weekend and be totally free from ridicule. I don’t condone shaming of anyones private business but with slut shaming in particular it’s a lot of men projecting their ideas in what a “woman”’should be and taking away their agency. Fuck that.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-08-30T23:39:22+00:00

I've only ever seen this in Church. I was in the Seventh Day Adventist sect and eating nothing but vegetables before I gave them the finger at 18. The craziest by far next to the Witnesses; the ones still denying evolution.

I knew a lot of deaconesses and they were very loose with a laundry list of men in the past. They slut-shamed the most. They'd always tell me to keep my legs shut. I was the most chaste of all of them; I could barely even speak back then. Too shy to move, let alone fuck a boy. They were wilder than any other women I've met. I remember my grandmother was interviewing for the FBI; and slapped the interviewer across the face when they asked how many men she was fucking. I curbed the FBI for the same reasons. Back then, they adopted the bastard kids out and the Father's were too quiet to care. I think sex workers are a gift to the planet.

Novadina · 2022-08-31T01:37:18+00:00

No, who some woman fucks or how she dresses is her business and I couldn’t care less.

They say women should be free to dress and use their bodies any way they want. In person though, I have met many women who disagree with that (specially my mom).

So your mom doesn’t believe women should be able to decide how to use their own bodies - I’m curious who she thinks should be able to decide how a woman uses her body?

One thing I found about slut shaming is it seems to be based more on something the accuser is making up in their heads than anyone being a slut. For example, I got tons of slut shaming as a virgin teenager purely because of my body shape, no matter what I wore. Yet girls wearing next to nothing but a less idealized shape weren’t called names.

KeyaruCatholic · 2022-08-31T02:31:23+00:00

No but she can't shame me or get mad at me for having standards and saying no to an ltr with her if she was one in the past. I've had women rage at this but I didn't sleep around and don't want someone who sleeps around either

houstongradengineer · 2022-08-31T12:13:47+00:00

I shame behavior that's harmful, especially when it involves casual sex. I don't care what your number is. I don't care of Chad took Stacy out last night and they spent the night together just once. I don't have to make all of that my problem. It all comes down to if your behavior is very harmful in a very foreseeable way.

With cases like the orgasm gap in casual sex due to men not trying, I'll point it out the problem in the appropriate place like this sub. When I see a pattern of men shaming they partners for the same sex the men agrees to, I sometimes shame that behavior. It's shameful. What more can I say?

When someone lies to their partner or spreads diseases, that's shameful. If someone has a baby that is neglected and torn between a pair of angry, juvenile parents, that's shameful. It goes for both women and men that those behaviors are shameful. I will say it when I deem appropriate.

sarkington · 2022-08-30T22:49:10+00:00

No, because I learned that there’s exactly zero benefit to being quiet, self effacing and prudish

Barneysparky · 2022-08-30T22:59:01+00:00

Gosh no.

I'd like to think I have a thing called empathy.

avoiding_a_stalker · 2022-08-30T23:43:35+00:00

No, not unless they outwardly ask for it (I.e if a close friend is asking me for advice and I genuinely think it’s the way they approach sex that’s a problem). Otherwise, I don’t care. Be safe and have fun

Feisty-Saturn · 2022-08-30T22:57:26+00:00

Maybe I slut shame 🤷‍♀️ I have doubts about whether having a lot of casual sex is as liberating as it’s supposed to be. I also have doubts about whether a lot of women would choose that life if they had other options. I believe that there are probably a lot of women who are having a lot of casual sex because they can’t acquire the guy they want or can’t acquire a long term relationship all together.

If those beliefs are slut shaming then I slut shame. But I also feel like people are allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies no matter the reasoning behind it.

urbangoth · 2022-08-31T01:34:21+00:00

I don't slutshame women, but I will judge and possibly shame trashy behaviors or lack of manners. You can be promiscuous as hell, but compartmentalize, keep it private and not talk about it, and be far more respectable than someone with a body count of 3 who is getting drunk in public, being crass and tonguing a stranger, while disregarding other's boundaries or whether or not they want to be around you making out with someone.

I have no issues with people wanting to show their bodies or be promiscuous, but context and manners are important. I don't care at all if someone has slept with my entire graduating class, as long as they're not telling me the details.

I wouldn't shame someone because they're a slut; I probably shame someone for being a trashy or unmannered. Most of what causes people to perceive someone to be a "slut" is observed behaviors, gossip/reputation, or appearance. Those aren't inherently accurate indicators of it, though, so I feel like the shaming is more so about openly sexual in a way that's bordering on "too much" for the context.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-08-30T22:42:01+00:00

No. But I occasionally trashy shame. Like, I don’t care if you are a ho? But you don’t need to dress like trash.

ruboyuri · 2022-08-30T23:40:36+00:00

I don’t begrudge people being better at getting what they want than I

DivineDaedra · 2022-08-31T06:24:10+00:00

Not at all. I will shame people for being reckless about it (no protection, no precautions, etc.) but not for having sex.

PCSX217 · 2022-08-30T23:13:13+00:00

Nope. But I'm probably a slut myself haha

Ainsleygz · 2022-08-30T23:46:17+00:00

I praise sluts

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-08-30T23:24:46+00:00

No, I have nothing against people who choose to be promiscuous. I just wouldn’t take a promiscuous women seriously in a relationship.

everythingelseisfull · 2022-08-31T02:43:23+00:00

We do women a dis-service when we encourage this fantasy that anyone can go through life without being judged.

itscoldupheredude · 2022-08-30T22:46:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TimothyDextersGhost · 2022-08-31T04:26:50+00:00

Yes, its unsanitary. See monkeypox outbreak.

pinktuliplover · 2022-08-30T23:09:56+00:00

Yes.

For women, I usually keep it in my head unless it’s a friend or someone I know I can be blunt with. I’d almost never say anything to a stranger unless they were going to be around children, elderly, or at a cultural/highly religious event. I’ve only had to do this once or twice and I did it nicely, but it was necessary.

For men, definitely. I’m quick to call a guy a man whore. But I’m usually saying this to an attractive, player type man thats approaching me and that I want to reject. They usually take it as a humorous compliment even though it’s a rejection.

learn2earn89 · 2022-08-30T23:37:42+00:00

I do but in a general way and online only. I don’t slut shame call any particular man or women specifically.

People who sleep around concern me in multiple ways. But that’s not really my business.

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goatismycopilot · 2022-08-31T00:58:36+00:00

I have a work aquaintance who does what I think are some high risk things that she likes to tell me about but it does not really impact me. I worry with her she could end up in a bad situation. But it is her life, she is an adult and she will face the consequences. I font know if that is considered slut shaming

ElbowMuncher69 · 2022-08-31T01:48:31+00:00

No. Why would I?

animaldander · 2022-08-31T02:12:33+00:00

I think it depends on how/why the person goes about it but at the end of the day it usually doesn't impact me. If I see someone going out of their way to be snotty towards anyone about anything that isn't their business, that is something I'm far more likely to judge them for doing.

ElectricBugs · 2022-08-31T03:07:47+00:00

I mean there's slutty and then there's another whole category. Just plain decency.

AlejandroVillegas · 2022-08-31T03:16:22+00:00

All genders deserve slut shaming imo.

It shows small minded thinking, it shows your priorities aren't straight. Most of these men and women that do this aren't even financially free. People that do this are most likely running from insecurities, this is their cope.

Personally I'm too focused on my dreams to even think about fucking bitches. The thought is intriguing yes, but I simply don't have the time nor energy for it. Once I get my shit right, everything else will pursue.

gordonwestcoast · 2022-08-31T04:55:17+00:00

I would never slut shame and women are free to do what they want with their lives. I assume that adults are aware of their actions and that personal decisions can have consequences, sometimes unintended.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-08-31T09:05:26+00:00

I slut shame in my head and won't be rude to that person, but I only really care if they tell me more than I want to know like it's some achievement. Unsurprisingly, this is mainly men.

domdomdom333 · 2022-08-31T09:30:35+00:00

Of course, both men and women if they behave like sluts. Mostly men tho, don't know that many women let alone their sex lives

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2022-08-31T10:56:04+00:00

Sometimes my boyfriend complains about the way young women dress in the street. I somewhat agree with him that doing so is inappropriate but I also point out how its hypocritical for men to not expect young women to not be influenced by the amounts of objectification they're exposed to throughout their lives and that men hold a lot of blame for this with how the potray women in marketing and media.

When it comes to women sleeping around I have absolutely no issue unless they're going around and intetionally targeting men in relationships. I guess "slut" rolls off the tongue but they're really being jerks, just as a man doing the same thing would be.

beleidigtewurst · 2022-08-31T10:59:55+00:00

"They" say many things and despite outrageous pro-female bias manage to even contradict themselves. (there are

One thing they agree on, though, is that women should always have exactly 0 responsibilities, regardless of the subject (and that includes drinking while pregnant)

There IS absolutely NATURAL and absolutely LOGICAL take, that a woman, who goes high N count, with all other points equal, has worse genes, than otherwise similar women, who does not.

So, shrug, get the hell over it, maybe?

Prisoners in France were given freedom if they'd marry a prostitute and move to Mississippi

asshole67throw · 2022-08-31T11:16:17+00:00

I don’t slut shame but I disagree with the free to dress how three want message.

If I turn up to a office/corporate interview in jeans and a t shirt or a track suite instead of a suite and tie and I don’t get the job, who’s to blame? First impressions do matter and people will treat you accordingly.

Yes you can have assets just be modest about them.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-08-31T12:05:31+00:00

No it’s a really low thing to do.

Ramzabeo · 2022-08-31T14:52:49+00:00

I dont shame anyone, do i think they are trashy when they do some crazy shit? Yeah sure, but i dont go out of my way to let them know, they can live their life how they want

ririsbaby · 2022-08-31T16:36:12+00:00

I’ll be honest. Sometimes I do.

gofigure62 · 2022-08-31T17:16:02+00:00

I keep my unsolicited opinions about other people to myself.

recoverybae · 2022-09-01T18:18:56+00:00

Personally, I don’t slutshame myself or other people. I don’t have promiscuous sex for a multitude of reasons: I don’t think it’s healthy, safe, and the thought of having sex with someone I’m not in a committed relationship with makes me really really uncomfortable/turned off. It’s not compatible with what I want. But I only apply those ‘rules’ to myself. Promiscuity doesn’t work for ME. I’m well aware that it can work for others and I don’t have an issue with that.

HOWEVER. When it comes to friends, if they ask me ‘oh should I do this with that guy or bang this person blah blah.’ My answer is always going to be something like this: is this person safe? Have you and them both been tested? Are you both on the same page with what you want? And most importantly, what are you hoping to get out of the experience?

I always make sure that they’re going into it with the right mindset and attitude. A lot of people use sex, especially promiscuous sex, to cope with things. I’m coming at this from a place of concern for both physical and mental health for my loved ones.

But yeah, everyone should do what they want. Just understand the consequences beforehand and for the love of god please be safe and stop sleeping with people who are absolute garbage.

IdiotsandwichCoDm · 2022-09-01T18:26:21+00:00

to each their own. the only thing that would bother me if someone would wear a very revealing outfit to something like a kids party etc. but that has more to do with dress code and common sense rather than "don't dress like a slut"

consideration and respect for the environment are appreciated, and there's a time and place for everything, so revealing dresses and making out with multiple people is more appropriate in a club than in a church or a childrens cancer ward lol

same with sleeping around. as long as your being responsible and respectful, what do i care? just don't have sex in the bushes behind an elementary school and leave used condoms around. practice safe sex. use safewords, be informed, get tested regularly.

lemoncurdmacaron · 2022-09-02T01:29:34+00:00

I slut-shame men too 👍

bunnakay · 2022-09-02T21:25:34+00:00

Nope, if anything I slutpraise. Get that dick, just make sure it's wrapped.

Psych_FI · 2022-09-06T05:21:04+00:00

I would never slutshame a woman or a man especially as I don’t know their story or situation. I wish we could have an objective and fair discussion on sexuality.

Currently only two narratives seem to exist which is the libfem sex positive perspective and then a conservative anti-sex / purity culture.

Both have plenty of pros and cons.

Title	Do you slutshame?
Author	Felizem_velair_
Upvotes	15
Comments	164
Date	August 30, 2022 10:37 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/x1wq5l/do_you_slutshame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-slutshame.1130676 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130676

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