I wish men would stop normalizing women approaching them and trying to "shoot their shot". Almost every man i've seen feels very uncomfortable with a woman approaching them

Turbulent-Tonight975 · 2023-12-27T07:48:11+00:00

I loved it when women approached. It takes all the ambiguity of the interaction away and I know that I have someone down for flirting and whatever comes with it.

I will say that I have not been interested in most of the women who have approached me. Most of the women who approach men is because the guy is on a higher level than her and she knows that without making the first move he isn't likely to ask her out. I will say that some of the time it worked and we dated.

Women approaching is a great thing. We need more of it

SeveralLiterature980 · 2023-12-27T06:57:43+00:00

LOL

Complains about how difficult it is to put yourself out there and approach and the bullshit you have to deal with, then making up some shit about if a man is "GENUINELY" interested, he will do the same for you.

Ha!

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2023-12-27T09:20:20+00:00

Women don't want this normalized because it removes your leverage and power and you all don't wanna be rejected....

IceC19 · 2023-12-27T07:04:30+00:00

No, most men won't be annoyed by it. All you described is bound to happen to anyone who appeoaches, man or woman.

Also X to doubt about your super model friends getting rejected left and right lol

Cool_Relative7359 · 2023-12-27T09:57:09+00:00

😂😂😂😂 I'm a bi woman. I figured that out when I was 14. I also figured out that it made much, much more sense to approach people I was interested in, based on my preferences, than pick from people who are basing the approaching on their preference, not min. In my experience, the vast majority of men quite like being approached. The ones who feel "emasculated" would never have kept my interest for longer than a 5min conversation anyway, so it's a good way to weed those out too.

Like I get it if you don't want to do it and are insecure about getting rejected, but I find it really really hard to believe your friends got turned down if they're tht pretty unless they approached with something materialistic like "want to buy me a drink?". I'm pretty, but not model pretty, and it works great. (and I'm talking about approaching to get to know and maybe date ,to be clear. Not hookup.)

Purple_Cruncher_123 · 2023-12-27T07:30:27+00:00

My friends are super model gorgeous with stellar personalities- they are constantly getting shot done by men. even if you're the most prettiest girl in the world the man is still gonna be weirded out by it.

Well yeah, lots of attractive women have traditionally used their looks to approach men for sales, scams, etc. Unless you're a guy used to being approached, first reaction is "am I being played?"

You don't even know if he really likes you if you approach first or if he's just being nice and going with the flow.

Not exactly a one-gender problem.

I have a large group of friends they have all tested this theory and the men were extremely uncomfortable, weirded out etc.

So women are teaching men that cold approaching isn't going to work most of the time, and are surprised it's also not the same when women cold approach men?

I mean that is embarrassing. a man really lied about having a girlfriend just to avoid giving her his number. I think I would hide out for the rest of life from embarrassment if they happened to me. Imagine approaching a man and you look like a super model and he's lying to avoid exchanging numbers.

Sounds like an experience a lot of guys who approach, even attractive ones, get on occasion.

I don't look as good as them so i can't even imagine how it would be if i approach men.

You might be surprised. If anything, your odds are probably higher than your friends' tbh.

But hear me out, maybe your lady friends are terrible at the approach. I guarantee you it can work because sexpionage is a thing. Most women have very little approach game however...because they have very little experience doing it at any notable volume. Therefore, they have limited calibration for what works, and more importantly, what makes their approach sus.

I rather wait on a dude to muster up the courage to talk to me because it shows he likes what he sees and is GNEUINELY interested

Yes, of course, of course.

PixelizedPlayer · 2023-12-27T06:49:15+00:00

I honestly thought i was getting scammed when a girl walked up to me. I started to look around to see if there were guys lurking to jump me and rob me or something. Turned out she legit was asking my number lol. It happens so rarely you put your guard up instinctively.

I personally am all for normalizing women shooting their shot if they feeling it, life is too short not to go for something if you want it....

Men feel uncomfortable because it rarely happens, heck men feel uncomfortable when a woman compliments them given how rare that happens too... we should still normalize it though.

YearnsToDestroySun · 2023-12-27T09:16:23+00:00

The only part of feminism I am decently for is women actually approaching men.

Men get rejected way more, and women get weirded out way more by men approaching them. It's just men don't put so much stake in social reputation and embarrassment like women do. Doesn't mean we don't feel that stuff at all, it's just we're the cool gender and can put up with more heartache.

dragonoid296 · 2023-12-27T07:14:59+00:00

speak for yourself and your weird ass friends bro

ComfortableJeans · 2023-12-27T07:07:13+00:00

Approaching, in general, is a losing bet. Even if you're attractive, you're getting rejected the vast majority of the time.

Most people, the boys and the girls, don't want strangers coming up to them in the street and forcing conversation. It's awkward. I don't fucking want that. Leave me alone. If you have a purpose for talking to me, sure, but not because you want to fuck me.

I'll should have prefaced this by saying that without a strong emotional bond, I don't want to fuck a girl anyway. If that connection isn't there, don't bother me. I only do sexual relationships IN relationships.

I'm 6'3, I imagine most girls don't want some big, looming guy hanging over them when they know nothing about me, other than the soul reason I'm there is because I want to fuck them.

In the same sense, not only would I not be interested in some random girl approaching me even if she were a super model, I'd also feel as though I was the victim of some weird scam, or stupid tiktok video. Even if we were perfect for one another, I'm not going to feel safe, or be able to show you the real me. You're getting the human connection equivalent of my phone call voice.

But get to know me, find out about my decades of animal rescue, how I feel about relationships, if our humours match, find out how hugly I prioritise kindness and communication in my relationships, if you like how we tease one another, if you're excited to talk to me, and now things are looking a lot more cute and a lot less creepy. That 6'3 thing becomes a lot less "Oh fuck, he's going to kill me." and starts to become a lot more "He's really sweet..."

Being able to make a person feel safe and at ease around you is a MASSIVE part of them falling for you.

Even then, do you know how rare it is to find a girl you can fall deeply in love with and match incredibly? To your values, a meshing of personalities, relationship styles and a dozen other things? Thinking you find that by running up on randos is like trying to hit a bullseye with a blindfold on, in the dark, not knowing which direction the moving target is in.

Fuck approaching in general.

Get to know a person in a social sense, even if it's just talking online for a few weeks. An emotional bond coupled with being attractive is worth infinitely more to me than just being physically attractive.

If your only interest is in fucking as many randoms as you can, either cash a WIDE net on Tinder or some other dating app, or fuck as many prostitutes as you want. Both of those will give you higher success rates, lower emotional risks, and less stress than running up on randoms.

I will say, though, when I see women talk about why they don't approach, they don't give reasons like this. Often, what they say just sounds cowardly. As though they don't want to take that risk because it's the mans job or X, Y or Z. If you're too scared of rejection to approach, don't begrudge anyone for being scared of rejection either.

ArmariumEspada · 2023-12-27T16:03:31+00:00

You made the same post a few days ago and got rightfully criticized for how deranged your take was. Why are you doubling down?

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2023-12-27T09:16:26+00:00

The only men who complain are the ones who aren't firm in their masculinity... Being approached takes the guess work out and essentially gives you a golden ticket provided you don't fuck it up... So nah men would much rather women approach instead of us playing the Cue game

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2023-12-27T09:30:22+00:00

I'm a gonna normalize the fuck out it even more now, just because you made this thread.

Also, I don't know how south into conservative land you live but I would say a solid 80% of guys I know would find it attractive and only about 2% would find it a big no no.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-12-27T10:39:58+00:00

The real question is what percentage of the men that would have been interested in a girl if he had made the first move won't be interested if she does. I think that number is very low. Very.

Men aren't turned off by women approaching, in general. But yeah, if a woman approaches a man who is not going to be interested no matter what, she faces the same rejection and social awkwardness issues a man does when he approaches.

The main issue with women approaching is that it often signifies an easy lay to a man; and knowing she is attracted, many men who are not interested enough for a real relationship will lie about that to get a quick and easy fuck. The reverse is just way less common.

Fearless_Method_1682 · 2023-12-27T10:37:48+00:00

> My friends are super model gorgeous with stellar personalities- they are constantly getting shot done by men.

The only way this is possible is if your friends are taking the guy's bemusement at being approached by a super hot girl as rejection. It's true guys being approached by models are going to be on guard, because that never happens. If he's still shooting them down after they stick around long enough for it to be clear she's not just trying to sell him something, I don't know what to tell you.

The other option is they're trying to cold approach celebrities, or the guys have girlfriends.

It would help if you would you give us an example of these approaches. Where did they do them? Who were the guys? What happened?

No-You7911 · 2023-12-27T14:35:39+00:00

Welcome to equality. Men have been getting shit on and shot down for eons.

What you described is what every man ever born has had to deal with.

No snowflake. Women wanted equality and you now have it. That means you gotta step up and accept the bad with the good.

Considering men have decided to walk away from dating en mass, you guys now have to choose from the left overs and or attempt to convince someone to take a chance on you. If you choose to wait, you could be waiting a long time.

Latest survey shows all women between 20 and 50 by 48 to 50%, by 2030 will be single, mostly childless and may spend their life never experiencing an actual relationship.

As it is you can find articles where match making events, are full of dozens of hopeful women, but no men are attending, social clubs are being bypassed except for the hookup artists looking to score and even dating apps are having issues getting men on sufficient numbers to sign up except playboys only looking for sex.

Add thst for the first time in history, women are on track to outnumber men and this can only get worse.

This is the world you guys wanted, enjoy.

Ok_Individual · 2023-12-28T03:46:27+00:00

This has to be satire

shestammie · 2023-12-27T07:02:55+00:00

Your friends are weirdos and outliers in this scenario.

It’s a vastly superior dynamic that women approach men and more women should be encouraged to do it. Especially as men increasingly feel uncomfortable approaching, given how much rhetoric there is out there of women just wanting to be left alone

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2023-12-27T12:12:51+00:00

Approaching is NOT chasing and women LOVE to chase men.

SupposedlySapiens · 2023-12-27T15:45:06+00:00

Why do you keep making these nonsensical posts? You don’t have a bunch of “supermodel gorgeous” friends with “stellar personalities” who are getting “constantly shot down.” Just stop.

envious1998 · 2023-12-27T15:49:57+00:00

Oh so you’re having to experience the same volume of rejection and humiliation men have to face on a daily basis and don’t like it? Huh, wild.

Well I guess I’ll tell you all the same things women and blue pillers say when men complain on here:

It’s a numbers game

Simply take a shower

Do some self reflection because if everyone is rejecting you then the common denominator is you

Develop interesting hobbies

Go to new places and join new groups

Not working? Aww shucks just keep trying champ

PrecisionHat · 2023-12-27T16:43:06+00:00

Lies.

Here are the possibilities, assuming there is even a grain of truth to what you are saying:

1) your friends are not supermodel gorgeous (if they were, they would never need to approach). 2) your friends are terrible at approaching because they have never had to do it before (they are either coming on way too strong, which is actually a red flag even for a beautiful women) 3) your friends are approaching dudes who are out of their league or already in relationships

harmonica2 · 2023-12-27T17:03:33+00:00

My girlfriend approached me and I wasn't uncomfortable at all. In fact I was quite flattered. Wouldn't a lot of guys feel that way?

MikeArrow · 2023-12-27T07:01:18+00:00

My first girlfriend literally walked up to me and started talking to me about A Song of Ice and Fire. I was overjoyed and we quickly moved to chatting on Facebook messenger and then organised a date.

Bing, bang, boom.

Wing_Puzzleheaded · 2023-12-27T07:36:49+00:00

I have no problem with it and it has worked for me several times, though I was not cold approached by a random at the grocery store, which is kinda weird no matter who does it and I wouldn't recommend to a beginner, but I would still entertain the woman if she tried. Approaching men is only awkward because you have no game and don't ever approach so you don't have experience. It does work if you practice.

Allot about this post just comes across as disingenuous. I would love to see the video footage of you and your friends testing it out, because I don't think you tested this in any valid way.

That guy may have lied because your friend probably cold approached him which is weird, or came off weird, he might have been telling the truth as well. I bet if she tried more than once she would find a man who would entertain her approach, especially if she is good looking.

You would give up after only one approach? Now you know how men feel. Approaching sucks which is why both men and women should do it in the name of equality, and frankly, the future of society at this point. But with some experience and a plan it can be fun and exhilarating.

You think a bullshit-ass response like "I have a girlfreind" is poor treatment? (it might not have been bs). Men get this shit ALL THE TIME from women. It's much more polite than being told to "fuck off creep". You need to toughen up and put more reps in and develop some game. The amount of skill a woman would need to impress a man is allot less than a man needs now. You wouldn't even have to be funny to impress a man while approaching.

If you approach a man in your league with a little game you wont get shot down, humble yourself...

Shhhhyt_ · 2023-12-27T09:52:10+00:00

Never happened

RevolutionaryJob7908 · 2023-12-27T12:34:57+00:00

Okay, I'm attempting to make logic out of this post. I'll speak for myself. Yes if you are beyond... Below my own scale of attraction, and it should be obvious that I'm out of your league, you are going to get the 'I have a girlfriend ' or I've already thought about it... I'll lunge for one of my friends and tell you me and her are dating. I've already mastered that out.

What your post implies is something is a miss here. Either you are not super models and approaching men 3 points above you, or maybe instead.. you have like one friend and she is an 8 of 10, and she went up to an 11.. and it wasn't that bad... And she exadderatted...

There is too much misalignment to this story so I just can't work with it. Maybe go out and try again and fact check the friend. There's something here afoot.

My advice has been, is still, ... If you approach strait across, first ensure there's no ring on his finger,.. then ensure you are... Approaching strait across. 7 for 7. 6 for 6.. 5 for 5.. 4 for 4.. 3 for 3... 2 for 2... 1 for 1... 0 for 0... -1 for -1... What does a -1 look like? Must be animal.

MattPayneWrestler · 2023-12-27T15:21:44+00:00

Men all think you’re trying to sell something or get their money in some other way, because its so absurd that women would actually approach for any other reason. Thats petty much what were used to experiencing as men when a woman approaches us. Its kinda sad that women are gutless with approaching when it comes to love and relationships, but suddenly grow a pair when it comes to money, but thats life.

But good on you for trying, but maybe approaching isn’t for you. Imagine if men said “approaching women doesn’t work because I tried and the women always get weirded out or uncomfortable” 😂 Its like, uh yeah, welcome to being the one who has to approach! Lol

evo1d0er · 2023-12-27T19:53:22+00:00

This has got to be satire right?

throwaway316stunner · 2023-12-28T13:22:39+00:00

I’m going to call BS on this, particularly about the “supermodel friends.”

TWCDev · 2023-12-27T07:29:36+00:00

I feel like you're trolling, I personally love it when women come up to me, but I don't know what to do, and I fumble the ball. Even my friend, he's a weight lifter influencer type, had these two incredibly hot girls come up to him at a charity event and ask "are those your legs or is it padding?" and he was like "they're real" and one of the girls literally reached out and touched his leg. They walked away giggling, and I was like "You should have asked for their number or something" and he was like "really? Eh. " and shrugged his shoulders.

I think women should double down, do it more, we'll figure it out eventually.

Electronic_West_1831 · 2023-12-27T11:36:09+00:00

I’m going to suggest that your friends are not, in fact, “super model gorgeous” - they are more likely average/below average, but OLD has convinced them that their shit doesn’t stink and they are entitled to six foot plus demigods with six figure salaries, and the reason they are “constantly getting shot done (sic) by men” is that they are punching way above their weight and approaching guys they have no hope with.

El_Don_94 · 2023-12-27T07:20:32+00:00

You already posted this. For the second time you're wrong.

Interesting_Show_962 · 2023-12-27T07:23:03+00:00

Downvoted this trash post

VasiliyZaitzev · 2023-12-27T10:56:40+00:00

My friends are super model gorgeous with stellar personalities- they are constantly getting shot done by men.

Yes, this sounds totally legitimate and not fake at all. /s

Spaciousone · 2023-12-27T07:09:43+00:00

Well look dating has changed in the past few years this is a new phenomenon and it’s happening more and more even though it’s rare. But just think if it happens more guy’s will be less cautious of think your trying to sell them something.

Throwaway-5391L2 · 2023-12-27T07:32:26+00:00

Man/Woman1: "Hi, I thought you looked cute. Want to go out some time?"

Man/Woman2: "Oh that's flattering but no thank you"

Man/Woman1: "No problem! Sorry for bothering you"

If only...... instead it's

Man/Woman1: "Hi I thought you looked cute. Want to go out some time?"

Man/woman2: "FUCKING CREEP GET AWAY FROM ME"

or

Man/Woman1: "Hi I thought you looked cute. Want to go out some time?"

Man/Woman2: "Oh that's flattering but no thank you"

Man/Woman1: "FUCKING BITCH WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME"

literally, it's not that big of a deal. if someone approaches you respectfully and you don't want to date them, it's cool, they did nothing wrong and you can just nicely decline. if someone rejects you, that's fine, they did nothing wrong and you can just go on their way. if more people thought like this more people would have the courage to approach possible dates.

rant over. as for who should approach who based on gender, it just doesn't matter. why should men be forced to approach women or vice versa? it's gender roles bs. I say, if you're attracted and they're in a socially available position (at a club as opposed to like grocery shopping) go for it. who cares about gender?

Dusttyy · 2023-12-27T12:11:11+00:00

Sigh, it’s the weekly “men don’t actually like being approached” post, posted by a woman who knows nothing about men and probably an obese femcel.

Your extremely limited and anecdotal experiences are meaningless. Even if they are true, you only provided one actual story/example, which is extremely mild. “Sorry, I have a boyfriend.” Is the default response women give us, with it usually not being true either and to the point it’s become a meme. Speaking of us approaching, we get shot down 99% of the time. We have no sympathy for your one mild rejection story.

Many men, including myself, don’t even approach anymore because we’re sick of the chase. Women hold all the cards when we do so, and it’s almost become a game for them. They even purposely act uninterested and the date (assuming they agree) becomes a try-out where every little thing you do/say is judged while she just gets to sit there and put in no effort. I’ve learned that anything less than a “fuck yes!” attitude isn’t worth my time. An easy way to know if the woman is truly motivated to be there and put it in effort, is if she makes the move or approaches first.

Extension-Inside-826 · 2023-12-27T13:54:25+00:00

I never make the first move as a guy, and I’d say I’m pretty hot. So your loss :)

avpd_girl · 2023-12-27T07:28:10+00:00

Yeah true, I approached plenty of men and got rejected almost everytime.

Love-Is-Selfish · 2023-12-27T07:00:39+00:00

I mainly agree that it’s generally better for men to approach women since men have the advantage in romance due to the advantage in sex. But it is something that’s contextual. And you could tell your friends that they should give out their number instead of asking for the man’s. And yeah, when you do it wrong then the person you’re approaching is going to be weirded out.

Silver_Switch_3109 · 2023-12-27T21:28:08+00:00

Many women don’t know how to approach and come off as desperate and creepy. I am usually out with my friends and these women try too hard to get attention. Women just need to learn how to approach men.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2023-12-27T07:26:16+00:00

Only two types of men say yes to a woman asking them out: 1.) men looking to use a woman as a place holder for sex till they find someone they actually like to commit to or till the get bored and rotate the woman out and 2.) men who want to play the feminine role in the relationship. So unless a woman wants to be used or play the masculine role in the relationship a woman should never ask out a man.

Hard_Thruster · 2023-12-27T07:19:54+00:00

I personally wouldn't trust any girl that approaches me in an a obvious way and expressed her interest.

Why? Because if she's done it with me it's likely I'm not the first and won't be the last.

I know somebody is going to say, the reverse us true with men. Sure, to a degree it is but men generally have to be vetted to be worth a woman's time, with guys, he'll keep her around for years if she's even moderately attractive.

If I see a girl I'm attracted to I'm going to try to get close to her and at least flirt so her making an overt move might actually reduce the chance of us being a thing.

I've noticed that women often times do make the first move, and it's often times very subtle. For example she might just keep looking at you or she might ask you a question. I don't mind that, that shows some confidence and still puts the onus on the guy to overtly express interest.

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TermAggravating8043 · 2023-12-27T08:23:53+00:00

I’m not surprised most men are annoyed by it, I don’t care what you look like, I don’t want some stranger trying to make some awkward small talk when I’m trying to enjoy my drink in peace

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2023-12-27T08:42:52+00:00

I’ve had the opposite experience, but I don’t spend time around conservative men. In my life it doesn’t matter who flirts first or makes the first move. But most of the people around me in high school and college are pretty relaxed about everything in general and don’t stress out or waste time worrying or wondering. If we like someone we just start talking. If there is rapport or chemistry, flirting comes naturally. If one person isn’t feeling it, that’s where it ends.

I’ve never been around what I read here: people who dial in on one person and on their entire hopes on them as if no one else exists. If a date is awkward or goes badly, no big deal. If one person is way more invested, the other person politely but firmly removes themselves. Only breakups of long term relationships are a Big Deal; a lack of chemistry or rapport is kind of a nothing problem. “Oh, well” and move on.

But I can’t imagine why any women would cold approach strangers, that’s just risky and stupid. Y’all don’t know him, how the hell can you decide you like him?

blarginfajiblenochib · 2023-12-27T14:00:08+00:00

Wow I didn’t know it was purge week already

wtknight · 2023-12-27T14:07:22+00:00

Men love it when women approach, even if they are not attracted to the woman. It makes finding either a girlfriend or casual sex easy, depending upon what the guy is into. Even if he isn't into the woman, it's often flattering for a man to be approached, unlike for women, who are too often approached by men they have no desire for whatsoever and then have to worry about their own personal safety.

I don't know why men would be "creeped out" by women approaching unless she starts engaging in stalker behaviors. It's a positive ego boost to be approached, not something negative like how women perceive repeated approaches to be.

Naragub · 2023-12-27T17:09:48+00:00

Sure you all look like supermodels and intimidate men because of it. Have you ever thought you guys just ain’t all that?

BringBackTwinShadows · 2023-12-27T17:14:03+00:00

Swap the genders and realize how dumb you sound.

naughtychick9999 · 2023-12-27T19:25:50+00:00

Women do approach but it's not a blatant come on. They "drop the handkerchief" so to speak by smiling, initiating conversation, asking for help, flirting, etc.

evo1d0er · 2023-12-27T19:52:37+00:00

“My friends are all supermodel gorgeous” lmao what like Victoria secret super model?

Dull-Laugh-4037 · 2023-12-28T01:02:21+00:00

The reason the men likely felt uncomfortable is becuase they are conditioned to think they are being pranked or that the girl is not serious. It's really unheard of for girls to approach, so its only natural guys are going to be skeptical and refuse to let their guard down.. I guarentee if a girl sincerely approaches a guy in a context where he is not in front of his friends or out in public, he could better guage the sincerity and genuinely respond.

If a woman seriously pursues, it gives the guy the green light and they likely will feel empowered to go forward in confidence. We are used to having to vye for a woman's interest, so it builds alot of confidence in a guy to get past this hurdle. And as long as the girl is mildly attractive, essentially not ugly, the guy is going to give it a chance in the least.

throwawaywtf2436 · 2023-12-28T02:03:17+00:00

I think I'm just ugly cause I see dudes say they love women approaching them, and I see women who approach dudes and it works for them like 98% of the time, but it doesn't matter who I approach, I get shot down

Maybe you and your friends aren't the prize you think you are 🤷‍♀️

WhaleBiologistCILISI · 2023-12-28T03:42:44+00:00

All the longest relationships I've had, my then gf initiated. When I initiate its usually to take them out on a date and hopefully have a good time. Things work best this way. Sorry about your friends bad luck, but is it possible they were just punching above their weight and didn't get a resounding, "sure!"?

ta06012022 · 2023-12-28T04:43:56+00:00

Nah, I’m good with women approaching me. I fine with approaching too. It’s weird how fucking insecure a lot of people are. I couldn’t give a shit either way. Both are fine.

SteveSan82 · 2023-12-30T04:00:59+00:00

Depends on how she approaches

aintEZbeincheezy90 · 2024-01-03T03:05:36+00:00

Is this a troll post?

Different_Bedroom_88 · 2024-01-11T04:58:05+00:00

Bahaha!! 2 weeks later you're posting about how you threw yourself at a guy to the point of cringing creepiness?? What happened?

Comments