Men need to have higher standards.

thrown-away-soul · 2026-03-03T07:36:04+00:00

The only way this would work is if all men collectively raised their standards at once which is highly unlikely, basically prisoners dilemma. So we end up in a situation where the only demographic of man that can have any form of standards is chad.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2026-03-03T12:27:45+00:00

Ok, men rised their standards magically, now what? What changed?

DiscombobulatedTop8 · 2026-03-03T14:02:51+00:00

The majority of men do not have the luxury of choice.
For the men who do, they already have very high standards. Most women can't get their commitment.

These-Purpose-7019 · 2026-03-03T12:25:42+00:00

No one wants to price themselves out of the market.

Blacktransjanny · 2026-03-03T20:06:29+00:00

But when men do raise their standards women come out of the woodworks to attack them for not wanting "a REAL woman".

Most men want a non-obese woman, who does not have kids (assuming he has none either), has a job and ideally no criminal record. That's about it.

AreOut · 2026-03-03T21:34:54+00:00

"I can't afford a Toyota so it's better not to be able to afford a Ferrari"

Livid-Log7463 · 2026-03-03T17:49:01+00:00

Men collectively increasing those standards just means men collectively being alone, most men don’t want to just be alone their entire life’s.

Teflon08191 · 2026-03-03T19:10:18+00:00

I think men are already starting to have higher standards. They're raising their standards in that if women are going to treat relationships like a transaction, then men are starting to expect the terms of those transactions to be explicitly outlined and to reserve the right to terminate without penalty should they not be met rather than tolerating vague ambiguities.

Which I think helps to explain why marriage is in decline and sugar babies/daddies are on the rise.

gtbreddit1 · 2026-03-03T07:37:19+00:00

This is like saying starving people need to find sustenance in the air. That would be great, but it isn't biologically possible.

Pitiful_Home5655 · 2026-03-04T17:27:00+00:00

I've been presented with a bowl of skittles. Although, the bowl actually has zero skittles in it. I was given an empty bowl and the person giving it to me said "here, have some skittles". Now I like skittles in general but I prefer the red, green, and yellow ones much more than the orange or purple ones. I'll "raise my standards" by picking out the orange and purple skittles. There are now zero skittles in the bowl.

A vast majority of guys do not have the option to voluntarily shrink their pool without removing themselves from the dating market entirely and indefinitely. Many don't even have a pool TO shrink.

InterestingGoose5507 · 2026-03-03T23:16:05+00:00

Given the amount of pornstars that end up with boyfriends or husbands, there seems to be no limit to the amount of simps and cucks around! Women always land on their feet but not with the guy they actually wanted!

So talking about higher standards is pointless for many men.

ot093 · 2026-03-03T09:53:21+00:00

I actually agree. It's not the women with too high standards; it's the men with not high enough standards.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2026-03-03T06:10:26+00:00

Paying for one date is fine. You could always go on a 30 minute walking date before making out, but I’m not opposed to ice cream, coffee, or a movie theater if I get the same result. A few hours is pretty reasonable
Banter feels homogenous across people. Women who are attracted to you will probably come up with something to say anyway.
I don’t think most younger people will bring up excessive “long term compatibility” or whatever early on. They just want banter, most likely
Ideally in my opinion, you’ll share some hobbies to chat about, but for some reason, lots of people prefer to date someone they don’t actually have much in common with. So they stick to generic banter

Tl;dr as a guy: date 1 will likely be “does this woman kiss me after talking to her for a while?”. My “high standards” would only be in terms of who I end up doing this with

MarsupialAromatic825 · 2026-03-03T07:42:30+00:00

I personally think dates should be shared. It doesn't have to be fancy places or expensive dates. But whatever it is, it should be shared. I paid for my items on my dates

There's some preferences from women like, "I have expensive clothes, make up and accessories for this date so he pays for the food/drinks" I don't think that's valid. We could stop wasting money on chemicals that are causing a lot of health issues for women. It brings me to a whole different point of women shouldn't be judged for their appearance or so much weight shouldn't be given to women's appearances. That's like the ideal for generations from now

Ideally, I would like to see shared dates and no expectations on the woman to look pretty

Lonely_Cycle4757 · 2026-03-04T14:37:46+00:00

It's kind of like the circumstance where a dozen guys could be held at bay by one guy with a double-barrel shotgun.

Sure, the action that would make them all better off sounds like a great idea. But nobody wants to be the ones that suffer the consequences for the betterment of everyone else.

If a whole generation or 2 of men maintained a very high standard for women, that would help out other generations of men tremendously... but the generations that made that possible would by-and-large go without.

Puzzleheaded_Card_71 · 2026-03-04T20:35:44+00:00

Yup. They only take what we give and I don’t blame them for being so entitled when so many men simp.

All you can do is establish clear boundaries for yourself and stick to them.

SeemedGood · 2026-03-03T06:04:01+00:00

Men are not the sexual selectors of the species. We are the sexually selected.

We used to be able to select which women received the benefit of our protection and productivity, but even that power has been removed from us by government.

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2026-03-03T19:44:17+00:00

Yes, I agree. After my cheating ex, I decided I would never be with a cheater again. If a woman has ever cheated on her partner, that for me is a huge red flag, although perhaps it can be forgiven and overlooked if, since you're cheating episode, she has refrained from cheating in her subsequent relationships.

Dull-Laugh-4037 · 2026-03-04T07:20:41+00:00

Men do have high standards for women they seriously want to date. The problem is that they will also unseriously date a woman to have access to sex. Women fail to recognize that the guy they like becuase he is vaguely interested in them, is vaguely interested becuase he doesn't take the woman seriously. So woman dig themselves a metaphorical grave by being attracted to such men.

Maleficent-Remote580 · 2026-03-04T08:00:34+00:00

Men need to amputate the parts of us that wants love sex companionship and social integration..

That what it will take to survive in the world now and the world to come.

midnight_blue77 · 2026-03-05T06:14:59+00:00

Yeah and we also need to have higher wages and longer lifespans... At least dreaming is still free.

It is exceedingly annoying whenever this "men need to have higher standards" BS gets thrown around as if the reason men are casting such wide nets isn't because of the severe lack of fish in the sea.

Men barely get any attention at all from women - if at all, since the majority get no attention period - and here you are asking a choking man to hold his breath? And then wonder why this isn't ignorant as fuck and insulting as hell?

A lot of men are willing to put up with all kinds of nonsense just to be with a woman.

Of course, and those are called simps.

This is a great way of finding women who are genuinely interested in you not what you do for them.

Those are called Unicorns because they are perfect, wonderful, beautiful, and majestic creatures who are ultimately not real. Women are not genuinely into men. They are into the idea of us, into what we provide or at worst into just what we make them feel.

Unfortunately, many men have just accepted that being used in one way or another for resources, money or whatever else is just part of the deal when dealing with the average woman.

That's Briffault's Law. Women only associate with men when they have something to gain from associating with him. Whether it's a whore or a wife, you are paying for both their company.

AcanthaceaeKey5113 · 2026-03-07T16:47:59+00:00

Yes, they should have higher standards, starting with being a woman's first choice or not at all. If a man is going to desire and pursue a woman, it should be one who also desires and pursues him mutually equally. Otherwise, it's better to go MGTOW.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-03-03T07:05:46+00:00

Okay, i'll try to bring some (usually unwelcome) depth in here.

1) Usually when i see men talking about standards, they try to create them from the notion what is good, or in some form of competition with women (ah, you don't like short guys, then i don't like fat girls. You don't like fat guys too? i need to invent something, so i will have at least as many standards as you). The thing is men already have standards, and some kind of wish for them too, but don't formulate them, because none of you talk about what's important for you actually. And until you do, all those standards would be artificial, because you don't really care about what you're talking about. You need some honesty with yourself.

2) Standards doesn't grow on a tree for you to pick up. If you don't care about something, nobody can make you. You can't say "men, wee need to care about X" and expect them to start care. Artificial standards when you try to uphold someone else's rule just bring you to finding someone you don't like at all, because there are no perfect people, and you are likely have to compromise something that you actually care about to get that "standard". So all of those battle cries seems stupid to be honest.

Gold_Sheepherder6569 · 2026-03-03T09:17:32+00:00

The reason why this won't happen is because men are hornier than women and sex feels better than masturbation for most people. Due to the differences in sex drive, men are more desperate for sex and relationships so if you're an average looking guy who wants the best woman you can get you will likely have to capitulate to her demands in terms of paring for dates and other stuff. The more attractive men can bypass this because of their looks.

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nsfwthrowaway6996 · 2026-03-03T08:12:57+00:00

Dating isn't fair. If you are not physical attractive standout then you are going to have to accept some unbalanced Dynamics in the beginning of dating. Paying for dates and planning stuff like that. But at some point the dynamic should slowly shift to a flow of back and forward. Not making the case to 50/50.

A lot of men do get stuck in the "always paying" lane. A relationship of utility. Men do need to learn to filter for themselves at some point and not be filter. Learn to walk away when you don't feel chosen, desire or attraction from the person you are dating.

zgtlunatic · 2026-03-03T15:55:59+00:00

Im talking about the personality and character of the women they choose and chase. A lot of men are willing to put up with all kinds of nonsense just to be with a woman.

Yes, but that assumes the man even finds the women attractive at first glance to begin with. I myself turned down women that were actually quite kind due to me not finding them attractive (another half of it being not my type).

Unfortunately, many men have just accepted that being used in one way or another for resources, money or whatever else is just part of the deal when dealing with the average woman so they just accept it and put up with it.

A bluepilled part of me says that this actually isn't genuine desire due to not really being found physically attractive by the women (money & resources don't buy this, and women can work for themselves anyway). Jeff Bezos makes a very good example of this.

PattayaVagabond · 2026-03-04T01:17:58+00:00

No actually they need to have lower standards. You gotta accept what you can get.

mikiencolor · 2026-03-04T03:26:53+00:00

There is a big elephant in the room here. Many, if not most, heterosexual relationships are just long-term prostitution arrangements. That is what you get when men just want 'some pussy' and women want 'money'.

They're spoken of as if they were romantic love stories, and but the romance is just a performative veneer on a form of prostitution. I think if they'd just admit that is what they want a whole lot of needless screaming and mutual hatred would go away. But since prostitution is taboo, they couch it in the flowery language and make it out to be something else entirely.

Gay men don't do this. Like, you will find a bottom who will lay it on outright: I want a top who will treat me like a princess, pay everything for me, and in exchange I keep myself looking attractive for him and he fucks me. Is that going to be me? Nope. Not what I want. So I move on. But there are definitely guys out there who do go for that kind of arrangement. Nobody talks about saving them from greedy bottoms. They know what they're getting into. Yet heterosexual men don't?

Yeah, it's a foregone conclusion if the money stops, so does the 'relationship'. 🤷‍♂️ If that doesn't appeal to you, don't get into that kind of relationship. They're abundant, but they're not emotional bonds - they're transactions. Don't hire a prostitute and fantasize that it's love.

What makes you think those of us who aren't interested in prostitution don't weed these people out already? "I want a protector and a provider" - red flag. "Men should pay for dates" - red flag. "I'm a princess" - red flag. "Real men-" say no more, red flag at the second syllable! 😂 I know what I want just fine, and I know what I don't.

Here is the thing I don't get. What makes you think that the men who do go for that kind of arrangement don't really want it? What makes you think they're victims and being used and not genuinely looking for a long-term prostitution arrangement, because at the end of the day... they just want 'some pussy'? Nobody put a gun to their heads and said, "Hey! You better not split the bill!"

You're prescribing a completely different relationship model to people who by and large probably don't want it. Why? I get the frustration at not wanting what most people want, and being stuck in a minority with a small dating pool. I feel that frustration. But you can't change what other people want! In any case, to widen your dating pool, you'd have to change what women want, not other men.

If women want to be paid for, that's what they want. If men just want a place to 'stick it', that's what they want. Half of heterosexual angst seems to be raging fruitlessly against what other people show time and time again that they want to do with their lives, as if they were waiting to have some 'eureka' that will make them change their desires.

This is the same thing tradwives do, turn their preferences into a kind of evangelism, and then post cringey crash-out videos lambasting the world for not playing along with what they want men to want from them, and what they want women to want from men. 🤷‍♂️

Who needs that aggravation? You're wasting time evangelizing that you could be spending finding other people who want what you want to begin with. Who cares if women on this sub say they wouldn't date a man who doesn't pay for them on dates when neither of us are even interested in dating them? Why feel sorry for the men who do date them? They're making their own choices. How does feeling sorry for them help you find the kind of relationship you want?

Neverending_Danding · 2026-03-04T12:52:31+00:00

Though i agree men should have some standards, it's very easy to predict that raising them would also raise women's standards (if all men magically would raise theirs), and also singular men raising their standards won't change anything other than maybe making them more single (unless they already were popular with women and just somehow were choosing the wrong ones)

Intelligent-Insight · 2026-03-06T23:17:45+00:00

Beggars need to be choosers.

DietTyrone · 2026-03-03T17:54:09+00:00

I'd actually argue that a lot of Betabuxx aren't actually fully aware that the women they're with settled for them due to security and no better options being available at the moment. There's a lot more naive blue pilled men in these situations than there are red pilled men. Even if the red pilled community is growing, it's still a minority of men. The majority of simps just have to learn the hard way because they've been conditioned to believe thinking otherwise makes them an incel and to ignore the evidence all around them. They're told they are "insecure" for using common sense.

wtknight · 2026-03-03T13:32:15+00:00

Quite a few women spend very high amounts of money on fashion and personal beauty compared to men, which is why they expect men to pay. Men who won’t pay after she has spent hundreds of dollars on herself while he does not seem to be spending a similar amount on himself are just going to come across as cheap.

Men could refuse to date the women who try to make themselves look very beautiful, but these are the women that most men seem to want to date. Men’s “high standards” already do exist and they are beauty focused, and beauty costs money.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2026-03-04T05:12:48+00:00

Maybe being schizoid makes this look like such an odd issue but I’ve never excessively clowned for pussy 🐱, and you can buy pussy 🐱 for a very reasonable cash price . Pussy - is low value for above reason. Fixed price , easy to obtain , no reason to inflate it or worship it or clown for it. It’s Just A Hole. 🕳️

They literally are Donuts 🍩 bit of soggy frame some choc bit of icing .. nothing at the Center

Make sure you’re decently maintained then just don’t play along with that crap - you get treated how you deserve / let people at end of day.

Title	Men need to have higher standards.
Author	Slow_Celebration1328
Upvotes	51
Comments	395
Date	March 3, 2026 5:41 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1rjh6jg/men_need_to_have_higher_standards/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-need-to-have-higher-standards.1574613 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574613

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