Men develop theories and rules about women’s behavior because that’s the way men understand social situations.

datfishd00d · 2021-05-31T22:13:22+00:00

Unrelated, but theory of mind is something we develope when we are around 7 years old. People on the autistic spectrum don't develope this faculty, and deaf people take longer, at around 16yo.

Now back to the topic: it could explain a lot if this is true. Women and men do process things differently, and it's not all due to societal norms.

It does seem like a lot of men on this sub are fixated on cracking some code and figure women out, so they can succeed. Problem is that, people are incredibly complex regardless of gender. There are some predictions you can make, but it's not all written in stone.

SaBahRub · 2021-05-31T22:03:29+00:00

Yes, if you derive no pleasure from the interaction itself you will be concerned with results and outcomes instead

Hungry-Nebula · 2021-06-01T04:29:38+00:00

I am an autist and even I realise that people don't run on pre-programmed codes.

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2021-05-31T21:47:10+00:00

To make it easier to understand. Men talk in generalities, women talk in exceptions to the rule.

evanstown21 · 2021-06-01T16:11:59+00:00

Not a direct response to the post, but generally, I think a lot of guys here on PPD can learn a lot from guys in client facing roles/sales. I meet a lot of these men, and they use a mix of identifying market patterns and responding to individuals and social cues. Someone in a client facing role knows that having data to guide you is a useful starting point but that you can’t close or develop any kind of real relationship with just that. Their intuition and soft skills are impeccable and those at the top of their game know that they’re priceless assets to the company and will pull in appropriate compensation.

Mustbeaight · 2021-05-31T23:11:28+00:00

Lol the rules and code per say aren’t necessary absolutes or always true in every circumstance but they are true most of the time.. if I knew that I had an 80% chance of winning placing a particular bet on something .. It would be wise of me to place that bet every single time because I still have an 80% chance of being right.. it would be very unwise of me to place a bet against that thing knowing I have only a 20% chance of being right. even if I somehow miss my bet the first time, it would still be wise to place the bet on an 80% probability the second time..it’s very very hard for humans to fight against their innate nature.. rarely we win but most times we fold.. if you wanna place a bet against female or male nature go ahead

That’s why the frauds that come forth with their bs “oh but women/men are complex beings that can’t be codified so the redpill is wrong” piss me the fuck off.. if humans were so complex and couldn’t be codified then we wouldn’t have a marketing industry or any propaganda in history.. there are clear patterns in human behavior and clear patterns in gendered behavior.. that’s why you have different marketing styles among industries that wanna appeal to men only or women only.. come on now.. humans are not as complex as y’all think

It’s just an attempt at dismissal.. “women are too complex so don’t even try to understand them and keep doing what you’re doing even if it doesn’t work”

midwestufohunter · 2021-05-31T22:00:27+00:00

I have a degree in philosophy.

It's not like women are stupid and don't make connections between behavior and theorize.

"...> females are, on average, more disposed to an empathizing style— i.e., the drive to identify others’ mental states in order to predict their behavior and respond with an appropriate emotion"

We have a bias in western philosophy that says empathy is wrong. It's called an appeal to pity fallacy.

This is an arbitrary rule because people are afraid of being taken advantage of.

If everything else is equal, it's not wrong or unreasonable to consider the person's context when making a decision about them.

This is just a bias in the way we think driven by platonism and the fact that it's difficult and dangerous to feel empathy for others, especially in decision making.

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2021-05-31T23:51:47+00:00

A lot of the guys here think that what they have to do is crack the code and figure out the rules women follow.

Agree

It’s not that you’re on to something and understand women, you’re just doing what you’re comfortable with and capable of.

Unless we believe men are not good at figuring how things work, then I must disagree

Actually, if lots of men think something works in some way, I'm inclined to believe so. That's the story of humanity in a nutshell.

Everything has an explanation. Even chance can be explained through maths.

Sid_Insidious · 2021-06-01T06:32:21+00:00

If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck...

Then it's a mothafuckin duck.

That's where we males excel.

We're capable of that kind of stark objectivity.

Grand_Duty · 2021-06-01T03:39:23+00:00

If you play at the casino, then you will generally lose. Your choice, if you want to go ahead and play anyways, because a jackpot is also possible, but unlikely.

Humans make assumptions and decisions based on generalizations, and weighing out both the costs and risks against the benefits, on a daily basis.

Credit:TJC

MisterJose · 2021-06-01T06:52:05+00:00

Well, clearly the male way of thinking is the much better way of thinking about the world, and I have an extensive and well thought-out rationale that calls upon logic and reason and philosophy and history and the importance of the scientific method of understanding that proves it from multiple angles. And, woman, I shall now explain that to you in detail.

Wait...why are you angry at me?

just_a_place · 2021-06-01T06:48:22+00:00

This does not explain how men literally invented Art, Drama, Poetry, and all the greatest works that explore the depth and breath of human feeling and experience and even the science itself that delves into how and why we empathize.

What this is basically saying is that men are coldly rational machines who think with machine minds through machine hearts - no feeling, no heart, cold to the touch, unfeeling and uncaring: The proverbial Tin Man standing alone, frozen and unable to speak in the forest until - with the aid of Dorothy (Women) and the Scarecrow - his joints are oiled (is given attention and love) he can once again move and speak.

Then again, how in hell did men ever come up with such profoundly emotional ways of speaking and emoting about the fact that we perceive ourselves as emotionless? It is absurd as fuck to suggest that women have a monopoly on emotional depth, or that we as men do not systematize our world without systematizing our feelings in order to have a better grasp and control of them. Maybe the reason we as Men are not as "emotional" as women is that we have our emotions under control? Has everyone ever dared to say such a thing? Men in control of their feelings, giving women the illusion of being emotionless when we are not freely expressing every little sentiment that crosses our head or we choose to express our feelings in a radically different way than women do?

If women are truly as empathic as they love to applaud themselves to be, then how in hell are they so utterly blind, confused, and misguided about the feelings of men that they even have the ignorance to believe that we have no feelings?

SylvestorTalone · 2021-05-31T21:57:22+00:00

That explains why women see everything in top down terms, like the world is the way it is because some cabal decreed that it to be so. Getting them to understand how impersonal factors like market forces shape the general state of things is, in my experience, virtually impossible.

NTRollin · 2021-06-01T05:38:01+00:00

A lot of the guys here think that what they have to do is crack the code and figure out the rules women follow.

Yes

It’s not that you’re on to something and understand women

This doesn't follow. Just because women "wing it" with empathy doesn't mean human psychology cannot be codified and its rules understood

Joelypoely88 · 2021-06-01T08:01:16+00:00

Learned a lot from this discussion. I think a lot of men here could benefit from asking themselves if they actually like women or if they’re just attracted to them. Personally, I don’t think people who subscribe to TRP like women. Not necessarily in a misogynist way, but more a general disinterest/dislike. I’d never want to put energy into a category of people I suspect will be deceptive towards me on purpose. It’s why I don’t agree with TRP.

Question is, if not TRP what should men who are simply only attracted to (but not interested in getting to know) women do? This issue isn’t inherent to women as they can generally find men (or men will find them) whether they like them or not.

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2021-06-01T05:32:04+00:00

For me this is completely accurate. I ussualy systamaticly approach people in general. I'm assuming for some people they naturally feel how someone else is feeling. It is innate for them. Although I'm well aware I do not naturally pick up on how someone feels. Therefore I have to create a systamtic approach so that I have some social awareness. This might just be a lack of general social awareness on my part. But either way the study definitely aligns with my personal observations.

poison-fang-blade · 2021-06-01T11:56:21+00:00

I always like to work with clear, well defined relationships between effort and reward. I also know very well that people, especially women, don't function like that so that's one of the reasons I gave up dating. Some men can sell their souls and not even that will guarantee that a girl would ever look at them. It's a game not worth playing for most men.

Thetermibox · 2021-06-01T13:50:27+00:00

So this paper proves scientifically women are more emotional?

Physical-Pie748 · 2021-06-01T15:55:22+00:00

the rules are pretty damn easy to understand: be a top 10% guy with good looks lots of money and a bit status then you have options. no need to crack the code. its already done.

Ogres_r_like_banned · 2021-06-02T03:33:56+00:00

I mean, this paper is itself an example of developing a theory about human behavior. Theory of mind is itself, a theory.

If this post meant to show that men are doing something ineffectual, it is inherently self defeating. If theorizing about the behavior of others is effective, then your evidence is solid but your thesis is false. If it's ineffective then your evidence sucks and your thesis is therefore unsupported.

SaBahRub · 2021-06-01T03:07:07+00:00

Yes, men are less interested in people and more interested in things

We already know this

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-06-01T01:31:05+00:00

This is probably what I find most cringey about the guys here. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who needs to systematize their personal relationships. If you can't learn to relate to people on an individual level, you're unfit for a relationship.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-06-01T04:43:34+00:00

This is pretty true. I’m a woman who’s likely undiagnosed “high functioning” autistic, so I really do understand the need to systematize human interaction because social interactions do not come naturally. But as a woman, I’m still more driven to empathize and tend to base interactions off of what I think the other person is feeling. And that’s what guys need to realize, is that there is no cheat code to get women to do what you want and no one has any obligation to do what you want. It can be good for socially awkward people like myself to learn rules for basic interactions, but beyond that, you get into weird and dehumanizing behavior.

superlurkage · 2021-05-31T22:25:47+00:00

That’s a lot of words to say “men are less socially aware than women”

NameGiver0 · 2021-06-01T05:07:26+00:00

Women don’t think in rules they think in a dance.

Gilmoregirlin · 2021-05-31T23:17:51+00:00

I do see that the men on this thread are trying to develop some sort of system of rules to predict women’s behavior, their attractions, etc. But the other problem they miss is that while a man’s behavior tends to be more predictable, women are all different. So more often than not we ladies on this page see well women say they want this, but they actually want that. And we respond by saying, no that woman wanted that, this woman wanted this. You need to listen to each woman, you need to treat each woman differently. I always say it’s like when a woman is dating a guy and he keeps doing this thing in bed that she hates, and she keeps telling him she does not like it, but he insists that all his exes loved it and refuses to listen when she says she does not, he insists he knows better. So while I understand where men are coming from in developing a formula, there is on formula. And when you are being faced with women telling you, no and you continue to try to enforce some sort of formula or rules that is just insanity.

Plopolok · 2021-06-01T03:25:14+00:00

PPD is an internet forum dedicated to analyzing issues in systemic ways. If you think men are more adept at doing that, you should praise them and apologize for the weakness of your gender, not try to frame it as men being inept.

Ralman23 · 2021-05-31T23:14:40+00:00

Interesting. Are there any more papers that delve into this topic?

Thetermibox · 2021-06-01T13:50:29+00:00

So this paper proves scientifically women are more emotional?

hardstruck · 2021-06-01T19:01:32+00:00

Every object adheres to the fixed rules of physics, and every living being adheres to the rules of our progressing understanding of the rules of Darwinian evolution. Saying otherwise is to indulge in the religious fantasies of shamanistic and witch doctorish practice of astrological signs and horoscopes to tell you how life works. The "rules" you're talking about aren't just there to explain women's behavior, they explain men's behavior as well, which for some reason you conveniently left out.

PeskyHijinks · 2021-06-01T22:58:58+00:00

When I was a younger man I dedicated so much time, effort, blood, sweat, and tears into trying to "understand" women. I eventually gave up and realized that it's not possible because young women don't understand themselves (young men don't understand themselves either but more on that later). To be clear, it isn't because they are stupid, or can't think critically, or they are total slaves to their feelings, or any such type of thing. It's just that young women can't predict how they will feel and their behavior relies to heavily on their feelings. And because they can't predict how they will feel, they can't predict how they will act. Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying they are emotionally insane psychos. They just fundamentally process the world differently then men do. So if they cant even predict how they themselves will feel about something, men don't have a chance in hell. This often fades with time and older more mature women do eventually understand themselves and are able to predict their own emotions. It's very similar to how young men are insane for sex. Young men will do insane, crazy, dangerous, idiotic things for sex. They are so unpredictable and insane in their own way. This also fades with time. The problem is that by the time both genders get a better understanding of themselves they are so dissatisfied and disillusioned with the opposite sex that they resent one another so much. Lol.

Blackheart201992 · 2021-06-03T16:01:00+00:00

>Women don’t disagree with you because they have no self awareness or are dishonest.

They definitely are though. At least the ones here.

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Title	Men develop theories and rules about women’s behavior because that’s the way men understand social situations.
Author	DespondentColors
Upvotes	200
Comments	457
Date	May 31, 2021 9:30 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/npdvpl/men_develop_theories_and_rules_about_womens/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-develop-theories-and-rules-about-womens.773829 https://theredarchive.com/post/773829

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