Is creepy just code for unattractive/ugly?

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-06-20T10:27:51+00:00

No incel content

plumtastic · 2022-06-20T03:07:16+00:00

Not exclusively, no.

But often enough, yes, it means "ugly guy that is in my vicinity"

I've heard girls label lots of men as creepy that were doing nothing at all.

thedfksadksd · 2022-06-20T03:24:30+00:00

women call men creepy they never met. So of course, it has to do with looks. an attractive guy can be a creep but he has to do much more to get that status.

-passepar2t- · 2022-06-20T05:10:57+00:00

Yes, it's usually code for ugly. But women don't want you to think so, so they'll hide behind the word vibe. 'It's not your looks, it's your "vibe," see, I'm blameless."

Except "vibe" is inside their heads and they're going off your looks to reach that conclusion, especially when you're not doing anything or they're going off your picture, having never met you.

In short, yes, to most women, "creepy" means "I find him ugly but I'm too reluctant to say what I think and by using a codeword, I'm criminalizing him, making things worse."

ObicamKurviIi · 2022-06-20T03:41:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

superincongruent · 2022-06-20T07:06:09+00:00

I think more often it is code for age-inappropriate behavior.

Brad Pitt hitting on teenagers at the mall = creepy.

extrachromozomes · 2022-06-20T04:04:08+00:00

Ya usually most creeps are unattractive

moonsquid-25 · 2022-06-20T03:05:46+00:00

I've asked my GF this specifically, whether or not it's creepy or flattering based on attractiveness. She's admitted that it has a lot to do wit whether or not the guy is good looking. Of course there's limits, but by in large, from when she was younger, it was creepy if he wasn't good looking and not so much if he is.

learn2earn89 · 2022-06-20T06:14:37+00:00

Only chicks I hear using the word creep are usually hot chicks. The only time I’ve used it is when a significant older man was hitting on a teen near me.

techr0nin · 2022-06-20T04:13:13+00:00

I have been called creepy by girls when I was young and overweight. When I grew to 6’2, packed on significantly more muscles, and started participating in team sports, those same girls started finding me interesting/brooding/mysterious.

So yeah, pretty much.

LouisdeRouvroy · 2022-06-20T04:24:27+00:00

It means ugly who doesn't behave like ugly and thus needs to be shamed.

How dare he!

WilliamWyattD · 2022-06-20T06:17:16+00:00

Creepiness is part of women's defensive instinct. They have a variety of heuristics to determine if a guy is a threat. Are these shortcuts perfect? Of course not, but they aren't all wrong either. And better safe than sorry.

Now, have women started to throw 'creepy' around too liberally as an inaccurate put down when they just want to be mean? Yes.

But even when women are being real, and really do mean it, of course there is a correlation between a man's looks and his level of creepiness. Even though better looking men can be predators in the way that the creepy heuristics are meant to defend against, for various reasons this is far less likely than with an uglier man.

Also, usually, when women aren't using creepy inaccurately as a way to put a guy down, being creepy is more about behavior. But an ugly guy just has less room to maneuver. An unattractive guy who is displaying interest is showing signs that he doesn't understand his league, and the rules that go with it. If he is willing to break these rules, what other rules would he break. An attractive man eating alone is more likely to just be doing so out of temporary circumstances; an ugly guy more likely to generally eat alone and be antisocial.

Women's defensive heuristics don't give a shit about men's feelings, being perfectly accurate, or being fair at all. They just 'care' about women's safety.

Friedidli · 2022-06-20T04:04:40+00:00

I would say that a good parentage of the time, it is .

I remember sitting somewhere in class, people suddenly crowding around my desk and then getting scarred when I asked them to move so that i could leave.

From my perspective i was sitting there doing nothing and a group of people suddenly blocked the way out of class.

I decided to leave 15 min later, and they flinched when I spoke up. Apparently that was creepy. (They called me that)

It's happened at other times to. It's hard not to judge people poorly after that.

theblackbarbieee · 2022-06-20T04:56:44+00:00

No it means socially awkward usually tons of ugly guys are loud and annoying but not creepy

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-06-20T07:19:43+00:00

The difference between creepy and flirting is if the other person is into to it or not. From that you can extrapolate.

eyesayhello · 2022-06-20T04:06:03+00:00

I've been called creepy for mundane things, too. None of what you listed. But, it's just another way women try to shame men. It's akin to "incel."

Ignore them and be on your way.

ProtocolPro22 · 2022-06-20T03:56:40+00:00

No...good looking men can be creepy

toosexyformyboots · 2022-06-20T04:01:13+00:00

“Creepy” is often a general word used at men that women feel aren’t respecting their boundaries. However, women are often trained not to set explicit boundaries, so men may not even know they’ve violated those boundaries. It sucks to be called creepy, but not as much as it sucks to be followed home because you accidentally encouraged the wrong dude.

M_LaSalle · 2022-06-20T06:22:49+00:00

I'm tempted to do a Jeff Foxworthy and say "You might be creepy if..." and then give a list.

Creepy can mean creepy, or it can mean unattractive, or it can mean lacks social proof, or not pre selected, or it can mean dude looks like he might have human body parts in his refrigerator. Women tend to use words to mean whatever they want them to mean, but yeah, she can find it creepy that a man she thinks unworthy of er would dare to speak to her, or approach her, or whatever.

In Taxi Driver, Travis Bickle was creepy, and the girl dumped him for his creepiness. Until he became famous and a hero, and then he wasn't creepy anymore and she took him back. (I am not telling to go rack up a body count like Travis, but a bit of fame might neutralize whatever creepiness you do in fact have.)

peach_blossoms_ · 2022-06-20T06:24:51+00:00

Not necessarily. However, I will say that an ugly man doing the same off-putting thing in the same situation as an attractive man will be much more likely deemed 'creepy'. Sometimes the 'creepy' thing being done in the situation is insignificant enough that it could be overlooked past a certain appearance threshold.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-06-20T07:09:09+00:00

Not exactly

The things you listed show that your not actively taking part in groups and deliberately shutting the world out, whist this wouldn’t label you creep alone however if you’ve tried to single out one or two people alone for conversation and ignored the rest this will label you as creepy since it’s like you’ll only speak to those you deem worthy of you which makes you arrogant and if your not super good looking it makes you creepy

Kizka · 2022-06-20T07:51:13+00:00

Not necessarily. Elliot Rodger wasn't bad looking actually, but his whole demeanor (I watched this one video of his) was just totally creepy. I remember thinking "If that's how he behaved towards women it's no wonder he didn't have success with them". It wasn't his appearance, it was his personality.

Profession_Mobile · 2022-06-20T06:14:51+00:00

I met a very attractive guy once who told me he duck taped a woman and left her in a hotel room for 2 days where he’d go and see her throughout the time. This is a definition of creepy and good looking and that was the end of that guy. Blocked.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-06-20T04:46:59+00:00

It's the school shooter vibes thing. That's why innocuous things you're doing are being identified as creepy.

Kaidysage · 2022-06-20T05:01:54+00:00

Definitely, younger women are way more prone to this, I heard it among my peers in high school and college all the time. It drove me nuts because it was so watered down and subjective (like the things you described, mundane crap like wearing a "weird" outfit). Thus the term became meaningless which might be problematic if someone was actually acting threatening. Most of them grew out of it though... honestly now i only hear it if a guy will not bow out gracefully after a very clear no thanks

monkeybeast55 · 2022-06-20T05:42:32+00:00

Ok, I only read through some of the ridiculous comments. But, geez. No. Can you hold a conversation? Do you ask questions without seeming too personal? Do you smile without fake smiling? Can you be a little funny and laugh and make others laugh? Can you show some confidence without being a know-it-all? Do you think you communicate mental and physical health? Do you have fresh breath and wear deodorant and shower frequently? Do you present yourself as an interesting person with interests besides your own neediness? Do you stay away from drugs and alcohol?

Sure, looks matter for girls and boys. But social skills, mental and physical health, and grooming can take you a long way. Creepiness is gonna come from someone who's... creepy. Generally it's not because of a pockmarked face or extra weight or scars or out of proportion features. It's because the creep presents as someone problematic and maybe mentally unstable.

rosefaer · 2022-06-20T06:59:27+00:00

I notice a lot of people answering for all women here…which is obvs gonna be inaccurate. You can’t crawl into our minds and know exactly how we think, it can only be a guess. So, actually coming from a woman: I can only speak personally, but for me, no, creepy is not synonymous with ugly. I actually find myself being more wary of typically attractive men, bc they tend to “get away” with more, and I don’t let that happen.

EulenWatcher · 2022-06-20T03:04:30+00:00

You can be attractive and still viewed as creepy.

For me creepy is someone who's probably sexually interested in you and doesn't really respect your boundaries, sometimes in a way that is borderline or outright harassing and/or makes you think they're potentially dangerous.

Like a dude who was flirting with me was creepy, because he got too close and started touching me although I clearly asked him not to do it.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-06-20T03:05:18+00:00

No, I'm my experience a creepy guy is someone who is anti-social or go fed off a vibe that repels people. Everything you are describing tells me that you are anti-social.

Now being anti-social has a lot of benefits for you which you probably haven't considered. It makes you look intimidating so people leave you alone. It creates a wall that keeps people out who may hurt you or reject you. In many circles being "dark" and "brooding" can actually be seen as cool.

These are really good things! You don't want to get hurt, you protect yourself, you are cool and you project a certain image.

But let's look on the dark side of it as well. Being anti-social literally repeals every one around you even if they may actually like you. Girls think you come across as creepy and avoid you although you consciously want them to like you. It is isolating. It is extremely lonely and painful. In essence you are saying, I reject you before you have a chance to reject me which you most certainly will do so we may as well fast forward.

So now you have to decide if the benefits of being anti social outright the disadvantages of being anti social.

FoxCQC · 2022-06-20T06:11:05+00:00

It certainly can be. There is genuine creepy types though. Yet it also used to shame unattractive men.

Friedidli · 2022-06-20T03:08:11+00:00

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PlayfulLawyer · 2022-06-20T03:13:16+00:00

Sometimes yes, but definitely use more in terms of behavior, there's definitely some creepy bastards out there

TheMorningJoe · 2022-06-20T04:13:55+00:00

Pretty much, the word has lost its meaning lol

Orange_Paisley · 2022-06-20T04:02:27+00:00

No. It’s your behavior that makes you creepy, not your looks. Leering. Getting into someone’s personal space. Touching them without their consent. Saying inappropriate things.

Intsellektuaal · 2022-06-20T06:53:52+00:00

Yes, if you were a tshed then eating lunch alone would be "oh, he is so mysterious and secretive. I wonder whaf he is thinking (about me)"

HushPuppy1993 · 2022-06-20T06:05:48+00:00

ddouchecanoe · 2022-06-20T08:42:10+00:00

Mostly yes.

Although, attractiveness is heavily rooted in presentation so maybe a lot of the "creepy" guys wouldn't be considered creepy if they presented themselves differently.

I have met a couple guys who were hot and TOTAL creeps though.

flamingoinghome · 2022-06-20T09:20:35+00:00

No. I've known handsome, creepy guys. I've known guys I was initially interested in who turned out to be creepy.

There ARE women who slap the "creepy" label on interactions because they're too cowardly to admit they don't want to socialize with this person, and don't have to.

FWIW, though, some of the things you mentioned (the hood in class and solitary lunch in particular) probably come across to a lot of people as you signaling that you don't welcome the company of others. That's unsettling for a lot of people, even if you didn't mean anything by it--most people are extroverts, and humans are social creatures, so it sets something off in a lot of people to see people who are trying to block that off. It sucks that ordinary shy people get tarred for this, but it does happen.

IntelligenceLtd · 2022-06-20T09:22:24+00:00

its not just that its being ugly and autistically being unable to read the room

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-06-20T09:46:17+00:00

Not all ugly guys are creepy nor are all creepy guys ugly. The worst problem is social ineptness, which is often causing a significant contribution to the percieved "ugliness".

Left-Requirement9267 · 2022-06-20T10:19:07+00:00

Pretty much

AnnoKano · 2022-06-20T10:25:40+00:00

No.

Sometimes you can do something with good intentions that comes off as creepy.

I was attending some social event with my Uni some years ago and a female classmate that I didn't know too well was very drunk. I went over to her and her friend and asked if she was ok, and asked if she was going to get a taxi. Her friend told me to fuck off, and I was pretty offended; the implication being that I was trying to make a move on the passed out drunk girl.

Over time though, I realised that this response was actually completely reasonable. My intentions were good, but in hinsight it was a bit creepy... I didn't really know them, and some scumbags out there would have used this as an opportunity to take advantage of her friend.

Think about how things look to the other side, and it will help you come across as less creepy.

Sdp2036 · 2022-06-20T03:47:07+00:00

Creepy = Ugly how do you not know this?

2022-06-20T04:42:24+00:00

You can def be conventionally attractive and creepy. Creepy is a vibe. Had a conventionally attractive man try to make me have sex with him when he was married and I said no. That’s creepy. A vibe of desperation.

fatalcharm · 2022-06-20T05:18:29+00:00

Some of the biggest creeps are good looking guys. I’ve heard quite a few reports of young women being creeped out by Henry Cavill’s drunken behaviour, and he is one of the best looking guys in Hollywood. Gerard Butler is another one who becomes creepy when he is drunk. These guys are very good looking and charismatic when sober, but when they drink too much, they turn into sleaze-bags and give off a gross, creepy vibe.

OvalTownship · 2022-06-20T04:02:02+00:00

lmao yes why are you asking obvious questions?

LORD-THUNDERCUNT · 2022-06-20T04:51:05+00:00

Yes. It’s not socially acceptable for women to be shallow. For men it is.

Anykindofland · 2022-06-20T04:59:44+00:00

You should always behave according to your looks. Attractive guys can get away with stuff an ugly will get skinned for. So yes, creepy means “Ugly guy acting like he is hot aka confident.”

BennyHillThemeStops · 2022-06-20T05:36:16+00:00

If you don't meet the threshold for potential attractiveness or overcome that with charm and extrovertness then yeah.

I remember RSD Tyler saying something that has stuck with me: 'there's nothing creepier than learning game, the only thing that's more creepy is not learning game'.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-06-20T03:32:37+00:00

Sometimes. Attractiveness definitely dictates it to some degree; one guy walking up and flirting with a girl might be received as flattering, while an unattractive dude in the same situation saying the same things would make her uncomfortable and potentially disgusted.

But then there's also creepy behavior that's creepy regardless of who's doing it. Like pestering a girl after she's made it clear she's not interested in you.

silveryspoons · 2022-06-20T04:14:07+00:00

No. Saying this makes every woman die inside. Women are expressing fear that a man will commit a crime against them, and men are like "What do his facial features look like?" We can't even SEE the man's face when we're scared of him most of the time.

Blightning421 · 2022-06-20T04:41:33+00:00

Yes.

megachads_waifu · 2022-06-20T05:20:55+00:00

nah. I don't use creepy very often and when I do it is with very good reason (imo). Usually it's behaviour driven. I can think of a few particular instances of personally encountering people I've found downright creepy and every time there's nothing particularly ugly or even unattractive about them. Most of the time they have been significantly older than me tho. But there have been plenty of people I have encountered who have been even uglier and even older, and they didn't seem creepy to me. More often than not, they're not creepy. So I really don't think it's just looks.

Other appearance based things such as how they dress could play more of a role I suppose.

void_magic · 2022-06-20T06:05:29+00:00

iIt means you are ugly and they noticed your existence. Usually they can ignore ugly men and they blend into the background and you are invisible. If you do anything that makes them aware of your existence, then you are creepy.

cliffthegeneralpeas · 2022-06-20T02:59:54+00:00

tbh,yes and verse visa

CptKillsteal · 2022-06-20T05:30:28+00:00

unattractive/ugly and trying to make on move on her = creepy

Slight_Fig5187 · 2022-06-20T07:56:42+00:00

None of the things you mention would qualify as "creepy" for me. Except maybe the hood during class, which I think might be forbidden here where I live (as are caps, hats etc).

Selkie-Princess · 2022-06-20T08:26:20+00:00

I’ve been told that everything about my experiences/attraction to men should be taken with a grain of salt because I’m bisexual so…salt sprinkled….

But personally, I’ve been creeped out by plenty of dudes who are generically good-looking and who I know for a fact that other women were practically drooling over. Also, being ugly doesn’t immediately make you creepy although I WILL say that ugly men have a much smaller margin of error before I’m creeped out.

I go to the gym a lot and this is where I’ve most commonly been creeped on/out by otherwise hot guys (not the only place but the most common). The creep factor begins with either registering odd or flat out socially inappropriate behavior (excessive staring/lurking far too close etc.) which is creepy to begin with and usually gets creepier as it evolves into unwelcome persistence, OR the creep factor kicks in after a guy has done something normal (approach me, ask for my number etc) and then refuses to take a polite “thank you but I’m married” for an answer and won’t let go of his advances. Basically any behavior that shows me that this person either doesn’t respect me as an autonomous person who has the right to reject them, or that this person is mentally unstable in some way which has rendered them delusional in regards to what is normal vs. abnormal behavior. Honestly, I don’t care how hot anyone is, it is fucking creepy to be followed/badgered/harassed by anyone who doesn’t understand when to let it drop.

The thing is. Women expect very ugly men to understand that being ugly means they should let it drop before they even try to pick it up. When a particularly grody guy approaches us with the clear notion that we’ll be interested we’re not creeped out just because we’re disgusted and indignant that he’s DARE to speak to us…we’re on alert because this person is clearly not in tune with reality if he thinks that he should shoot his shot.

this-is-very · 2022-06-20T04:38:14+00:00

What’s the fixation on one word with many meanings? Go ask every woman that told every story you keep in mind what they though creepy was.

addarail · 2022-06-20T07:40:25+00:00

My personal answer : Absolutely not . Men really shouldn’t answer this question, it’s just assumption from them .

There are attractive men I have thought were total creeps.

Zerofication · 2022-06-20T10:15:02+00:00

Creepy means you disgust me, and what women feel disgusted with in men is mostly looks or/and lack of masculinity. So to answer your question, sometimes it's looks alone, sometimes it's not depending on the context.

Contrary to popular belief, women are more visual and superficial than men. People think it's the opposite because they see more pretty women with ugly men than pretty men with ugly women, but this is the case because rich ugly men can easily get pretty women, but ugly women can't easily get handsome men.

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Fickle_Razzmatazz392 · 2022-06-20T08:52:00+00:00

Yes. That is literally it.

NeighborhoodVeteran · 2022-06-20T09:58:26+00:00

In your case it seems like they are offput by your whole vibe.

Title	Is creepy just code for unattractive/ugly?
Author	fideliuscastro
Upvotes	116
Comments	251
Date	June 20, 2022 2:56 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vgbbf7/is_creepy_just_code_for_unattractiveugly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-creepy-just-code-for-unattractiveugly.1120775 https://theredarchive.com/post/1120775

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