Do you think some women are against sex work because it takes away a lot of their power over men?

zerofeetpersecond · 2022-12-13T12:28:43+00:00

Imagine if they were “affection workers” and a whole class of men were paying to be loved, because most women deemed them unlovable. Yes there are creeps, but this industry is mainly funded by the photogenically unfuckable.

pseudonymmed · 2022-12-13T08:16:06+00:00

I think most women are disgusted by the fact that some men can get pleasure from something they know is not pleasurable for the other person, that some men don’t care if the desire is reciprocated. It’s basically masturbating into another person. If a man is willing to use other women as a masturbation tool then he’ll do it to you too. Which is gross to women.

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-12-13T03:17:05+00:00

Not at all. Men don’t prefer sex workers as they want women to willingly have sex with them.

The men that go to sex workers don’t have power over women as they aren’t the same men women want.

The fact that these men don’t might not brother women for casual sex is if anything a plus…

I’m from a country with legal prostitution. Doesn’t affect dating at all.

Being against sex work is usually driven by motherly feelings or an inherent fear that we might have to end up like that. Or worse our future daughters.

Most women don’t understand or know of any sort of ”power”…

sinistralia · 2022-12-13T01:57:51+00:00

No, I'm opposed to the 4.8 million sex slaves that are in the sex trade industry and the 29 million estimated children who are exploited for child pornography and the sex trade every year.

I don't see any issue with sex work that isn't compulsory and is created or supplied by sex workers.

It's an industry rife with exploitation and abuse.

Bekiala · 2022-12-13T01:56:16+00:00

I'm more worried about the safety of the sex workers and exploitation of some women than power or no power over men.

There are probably some women some where who feel as OP describes; humans are a diverse group.

purplish_possum · 2022-12-13T05:01:40+00:00

No. There is little overlap between the sex work marketplace and the relationship marketplace.

MyLastBestChance · 2022-12-13T02:20:56+00:00

Oh ffs. If sexless men (or any men who are not in exclusive relationships) can get sex by paying adult women who are freely choosing to be sex workers, have at it, please!!!

We may judge you for it, but since you judge us for our sexual history, that’s just fair.

Seriously: Start a go fund me, take up a collection on the corner, collect recyclables, whatever you need to do.

We don’t care. At all.

The exploitation and trafficking that is endemic to the sex industry is a separate issue entirely.

Demasii · 2022-12-13T02:16:32+00:00

Most women either don't care about the power they have over men or so use to it that they don't even notice they have it.

Extremely unlikely women go around thinking "OMG! My powers! I can't let anything happen to it!"

KikiYuyu · 2022-12-13T02:37:01+00:00

I just find the concept inherently gross and clashes with my values. It's also, y'know, horrifically exploitative and lots of prostitutes were trafficked and manipulated into it. I don't think you would have much luck finding a happy, well-adjusted hooker.

I think that very few women think about dating and sex like this game/competition the same way red pill men do. When it comes to relationships with men, I think women are largely just concerned with who is in their life and who they have their eye on, not some large scope marketplace with all these different values to barter with.

travs1980 · 2022-12-13T03:06:22+00:00

I'm against sex work because women's bodies are human and not a product to be consumed and purchased. I'm also against it because it usually exploits very young adults who don't know any better and have been fed the view that pornography is somehow liberating and free, when it's actually a prison. It is all so utterly dehumanizing that it makes me sick.

And spare me the capitalism argument. There isn't an economy in this world where we don't all work in some ways to sustain ourselves. It's not an excuse for women specifically to have to detach from their own personhood to become an object for purchase, exposed to violence, pain and degradation for an entire gender's sexual gratification and women's humiliation.

TrailWraith · 2022-12-13T17:38:18+00:00

It’s not the only factor, it’s just the one they won’t admit to.

serafixed · 2022-12-13T19:58:41+00:00

Some do

learn2earn89 · 2022-12-13T03:34:50+00:00

Meh, not really. If a guy would rather see a prostitute than be with me, means he’s not for me.

EulenWatcher · 2022-12-13T01:56:47+00:00

Sex work is legal in some countries and according to men from these countries it doesn’t really affect dating scene much. Men still pursue women and are usually the initiators of dating and all.

I’d guess men who are sex workers’ clients generally aren’t the type of men women would like to “have for themselves”. Some might have a decent job or be visually attractive, but buying sex shows a certain lack of empathy and morals which is a turn off in itself.

MistyMaisel · 2022-12-13T03:46:22+00:00

I'm against sex work firstly and primarily because I think that's a really really polished term for human trafficking, sexual slavery, and exploitation of minors, children, and the weak.

The idea most sex workers are these empowered boss bases or dudes is probably the best fairytale ever sold. Most of them start out as young children (I think the last average age of beginning sex work was 12 or 13?) Many are sold or forced into this life and unable to leave it. Most are suckered into it at ages where they're incredibly vulnerable and unable to judged the consequences. They're then treated like cattle and in many cases used and abused. And I don't think I've ever met one that wasn't nursing some pretty horrendous childhood trauma the sort of which may explain why they're in sex work.

Long story short: I'm anti pedophilia, anti slavery, anti human trafficking, and anti suffering. The fact I somehow benefit over men not having this never even enters my mind when I think of sex workers.

This is frankly because I don't want power over men who would use sex workers. I want those men arrested. I think they're doing something truly awful to other humans and no amount of desperation is compelling enough to forgive this.

Secondarily, and way back-seated, if we're talking about porn, it is demonstrably bad for men. Them wanting it aside and the fact most females in porn are exploited aside. Its just bad for you guys and society. So I'm not hugely promoting of this either.

But I should be clear, I'm pro decriminalization for the sex worker. Just no the men using them. I get why people and kids end up in sex work. My heart goes out to them.

But if hypothetically this fairy tale world where all sex workers wanted to be there from a clear mind with no duress of any kind...I don't give a hoot. I think it's gross and I'd never be with a man who had ever been with a sex worker...but, cool beans I guess if you wanna get sex that way. I won't struggle to find a good clean man who sees sex as slightly more than something you pay for from the unwilling.

Filmguy000 · 2022-12-13T05:03:24+00:00

Prostitution is very much a transactional act. They are as transactional as most romantic/sexual relationships are in some form.

As a man:

If you are hot, your looks are the currency to get sex. If you have impeccable game and can give a woman the butterflies, that's the currency. If you have cash/status, that's the currency.

Many men have none of those things and never will. In this day in age, prostitution is the answer for these men. And women are indifferent to this.

However, if the higher value men begin to prefer spending a few hundred in a safe and nice environment with a hot young woman without the verbal gymnastics of going on dates or hassle/drama of having a partner, this is where many women will no longer be so indifferent. They will feel threatened for sure.

Novadina · 2022-12-13T01:57:42+00:00

This a power women have over men, they know that if sex is on the table, they can very easily get all the attention and be spoiled as they want.

Can you tell me exactly how to use this power? I have seen men talk about it, but they seem to think it’s something women are just born knowing how to do. I somehow wasn’t born with this knowledge, nor has anyone taught me. And I teach myself stuff all the time (I have a whole career from skills I taught myself), and still haven’t been able to figure this skill apparently all women have.

I know I could have sex for money, but I want to use this power to have men pay my bills or buy me gifts without fucking them, as you seem to suggest is possible as otherwise it wouldn’t be compared as different than prostitution.

2022-12-13T01:58:03+00:00

Sure, there are women who are upset for this reason. I don't think most women care about men they don't want sleeping with sex workers, because why would you care about what someone you don't care for is doing? But, they probably care if someone they do want is getting sex from a sex worker. However, there are so many other reasons people are against sex work, including society looking down on it in general.

FckItDog · 2022-12-13T01:55:27+00:00

Edit: I meant that Sex Work takes power from women, not men, on the title.

87AudreyHorne · 2022-12-13T08:42:12+00:00

Nah I dont think the two are competing. I think those against it are so because of religious, moral or other ideology that isnt related to their own gender

many women would be disgusted to be with a guy who slept with prostitutes but legalizing it wouldnt change much here

HolyPipidastra · 2022-12-13T11:42:39+00:00

Yes, though I don’t like the phrasing.

It stops men from developing into the men that women would want to have relationships with. When you seriously undermine one gender’s leverage, both genders suffer.

BreannaBaybee · 2022-12-13T23:40:08+00:00

Yeah I think married women will realize they actual have to put out for their men or they'll have options lol

NockerJoe · 2022-12-13T01:49:28+00:00

I don't think the average person is capable of acting on that kind of level in a consistent and conscious way.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2022-12-13T01:53:16+00:00

I'm against sex work because I am against the sexual objectification and commodification of women because I find it is inherently dehumanizing and contributes to sexist attitudes and normalization of sex crimes. I don't see how sex work is "power over men". It's just a (potentially lucrative) way of earning money.

AstuteBlackMan · 2022-12-13T02:14:21+00:00

Yes.

Women support all kinds of sex work but stop at prostitution. I’ll never understand that.

06534956 · 2022-12-13T02:16:10+00:00

Some women get angry because sex workers are getting paid while they are giving it away for free.

Men better themselves to get sex from women, no doubt about it. But at the end of the day, men bettering themselves also betters society, and if men don’t have to do all the things you describe, then we don’t get a better society.

frackingfaxer · 2022-12-13T03:03:04+00:00

Yes, and it's pretty much an open secret too.

It's often forgotten today that prostitution was criminalized in much of the Anglosphere because of first-wave feminism, and those feminists explicitly said that their opposition to sex work was because they believed it undermined women's power over men.

gladusgates · 2022-12-13T12:05:07+00:00

Yep. It’s pussy cartel theory. Deep down, women know that sex is the ONLY power they have over men. So they need to regulate it. It’s probably instinctual to some extent

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-12-13T02:41:53+00:00

No. People don’t generally think this way, and in the cultures and countries where some form of prostitution has been totally legal, relationships and sex continue on just fine.

Women don’t like prostitution for many reasons, depending on the person.

One of those many reasons is that we can very easily imagine ourselves in those shoes — having sex with men she wouldn’t want to have sex with, if she didn’t need to for an income. That is disturbing to many on a very gut level.

VTHokie2020 · 2022-12-13T03:04:06+00:00

This gets brought up like everyday. Probably some of both. Things in life don't always have ONE argument behind it.

Yes, some people (I would actually say probably most in this case) care about trafficking, abuse, etc.

But yes, I can totally see a subconscious resentment of sex work as a way to bypass courtship. Also, I think there are some moralistic conservatives who think sex is a sacred thing and shouldn't be devalued and commodified.

PuertoRock007 · 2022-12-13T02:34:30+00:00

I think they're against sex work because they get more for sex now where it's illegal. If it becomes legal the price will start to go down with competition.

HighestTierMaslow · 2022-12-13T04:12:39+00:00

"This takes away power from these women, no longer do men need to spend tons of money on dates, gifts, going to the gym etc, if they can get their needs met by a sex worker. "

Hate to break it to you OP, but the average man gets sex without doing all of those things. I think the earliest I got an actual gift from a guy was like at least a month into a relationship and I've never been wined and dined alot.

I am fine with sex work being present among women who need to date. If I was single in a country with sex workers, itd be a really easy way to eliminate more men based on poor character (those that use it). A great opportunity for them to show their true colors perhaps a bit quicker. Perhaps Im a weirdo.

armpitpics · 2022-12-13T01:55:49+00:00

Women have less permissive attitudes towards sex in general. I don't believe it's a conspiracy to make men invest more. I'm pretty sure some women feel that way, but I have a hard time understanding their thought process. My cat is not a negotiation tool and his time should not be an attempt to get in my pants.

gymbro718nyc2 · 2022-12-13T03:36:57+00:00

Sex work takes women's bargaining chip they use to get security. You see , a woman is taught that she should only exchange sex for the value of security or at least the promise of security. This could be as simple as the promise of commitment, offering to pay her rent, fix her car or simply marrying her.

A sex worker though make sex available for a set amount of money, therefore cheapening the value of sex for the average woman. But if course the sex worker is not nearly as bad as the slut, who simply makes sex available for free just because she enjoys it.

Laurely4u · 2022-12-13T09:08:30+00:00

Yes, and sluts for the same reason because it throws off the supply and demand curve. Men find it distracting, no one wants to get married and pay a mortgage reliably when they can queue in line for a freebie.

pearllovespink · 2022-12-13T09:55:43+00:00

I’m not against sex work but I don’t encourage it either. It comes with a lot of dangers and violence against women like rape.

It’s also extremely hard to get out of the sex industry once you’re in it. Places don’t want to hire you. You hear about people being fired every day for being on Onlyfans.

SoIlikeMangos · 2022-12-13T11:10:10+00:00

You judge women for their their sexual history, they'll judge you for using sex workers. Fair enough

question5423 · 2022-12-13T11:33:12+00:00

PRECISELY.

I love paying women.

I don't even have children with wives. I have mistresses.

Don't do what I want, I don't spend money.

So fair.

That's what I call power over my money.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-12-13T22:06:18+00:00

No. I suppose I can’t speak for all women, but I and the vast majority of women I’ve heard speak on the subject, are simply concerned about the safety of sex workers and ethical issues involved. Women have a lot of empathy and care for other women, and men seem to go back and forth between complaining about and denying that fact. Yes, we can be in competition, but we also have an in-group solidarity that men don’t tend to have.

Besides, the markets for sex work and dating really do not overlap much at all. Men who are dating or seeking casual sex want validation from sex, which is absent or greatly reduced when paying for it. They are either different men entirely, or the same men looking for different things at different times. A lot of women are creeped out by sex buyers anyway.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-12-13T03:42:53+00:00

Most SWERFs see sexwork as exploitative and that's why they are against it.

What they don't seem to acknowledge is in sex work you merely sell time with your body (sometimes just images or footage of only your own body) whereas if you're a lawyer for example, you're selling your soul.

Many people who do legal varieties of sex work say it's a better work atmosphere than when they worked retail. But only the top performers get good pay and usually only for a decade max. After that it can be hard to find a place that will hire you unless you managed to keep your face covered and your identity anonymous.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2022-12-13T10:43:46+00:00

I live in a country where prostitution is legal. You can easily find a 8/10 to bang for 50 euros. When I was in university, after a night out we would go to take a look at the goods for the lulz and most of the brothels were filled with 40+ year old guys, probably quite a few of them already married. For some reason, the vast majority of younger men aren't really interested in it. And believe me a lot of people are struggling with sex and relationships here as well, and there is also an abundance of simps, just like everywhere else.

I think the issue is that there is a stigma to it and also younger people are too hung up on their ego and are qute vain, while older people just don't care anymore and do what they have to do to get what they want.

I personally think the only way to "take power away from women" as you say is to not only make prostitution legal, but also to normalize it. When a bulk of younger men who struggle with women start going to brothels, other men who see it might also be more comfortable engaging in it.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-12-13T17:23:31+00:00

No. It has nothing to do with the dating market.

Captain-Stunning · 2022-12-13T20:50:42+00:00

Women out there aren't fretting bc sex work exists. OP I find this mostly a delusional diatribe against women.

Men don't have to "simp". It's an option not to.

Why would a woman care that a prettier woman is dating a man she herself isn't interested in? Like, please help me understand your logic here. I'm sorry your experience with women has apparently only been highly transactional, but most women don't date for freebies.

Well, what if some of those men, who are just looking for someone to spend a night and don't care about having a relationship, could just pay someone who is willing to do it?

That sounds great. It won't affect the men or women looking for real relationships.

OP, do you have guy friends?

Says_Who22 · 2022-12-13T21:19:12+00:00

I don’t like sex work where the women are exploited by someone, or are in danger from someone, or where women have to do it, against their will, because it is the only avenue open to them to make a living. Conversely, if a women wants to go that route as a way to make a living and has absolutely free choice, good luck to her and I back her all the way.

Needless to say, where I’ve used ‘woman’ I mean any and all genders, because the same applies across the board, as far as I am concerned.

ssnabberz · 2022-12-13T16:35:16+00:00

Don’t have a problem with SW or even men utilizing SW (i think it could be a good thing if used safely and fairly, even).

My problem/concern is with (what others have already mentioned) the rising demand of SW creating those who don’t consent to it being used (sex trafficking). And, in addition to this lots of men equate this to our worth and empowerment as a woman, providing sex, which is not what most women want. Ex: men telling average women to “just make an OF”, or thinking every woman wants to do that, when for many its a means to an end. Most women are using OF to make money for other pursuits or to make ends meet, but its getting lost in the middle as “this is how we empower ourselves” when for most thats not the case

AutoModerator · 2022-12-13T01:46:21+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Tuatara77 · 2022-12-13T02:45:33+00:00

I'm all for prostitution but I also wish to highlight that even though we are all generally in agreement that forced prostitution shouldn't exist there's still the socio-economic background that could be the main factor for a woman then only giving her the choice of starve or selling her body, in a country where we then agree for prostitution we really need to combat this. I think alot of sane women are against the sex work because of this, but definitely agree there's some who think like you suggested.

my_alt_has_alts · 2022-12-13T03:15:26+00:00

I don't think men who use sex workers stop trying to pick up women

briiiana1122 · 2022-12-13T03:38:10+00:00

I don’t think it does what you are saying it would. Prostitution is legal or legal enough in many places and people still look for and get into relationships.

I also don’t think the average woman is thinking at all about the type of men who “need” to go to sex workers. And the high powered type that like it as a power trip don’t let legalities stop them.

newoneaj1234 · 2022-12-13T08:57:24+00:00

I don't think anyone would pay if they can get it for free.

neetykeeno · 2022-12-13T10:05:17+00:00

I don't want sex work to be just another job that the government can cut off unemployment benefits if you won't take that job. Simple as that...the poor deserve better than the.normalisation of the use of their bodies for sex work. The less legal sex work is the less likely this is to happen.

Electronic-Poet-1328 · 2022-12-13T10:39:05+00:00

From what I've seen, women as a whole are often more supportive of sex work and sex workers than men. Most people who are fundamentally opposed to sex work are usually 1. Old 2. Religious. I'd argue reasons for being against sex work stem from the values people are taught to believe and raised with from an early age.

Lumpy_Secret_6359 · 2022-12-13T11:02:40+00:00

This is a reason for women not liking sex workers, but i think its very low on the list of reasons why they are against sex work. Other reasons include- feeling like women are being ‘forced’ to have sex with unattractive men so that they can afford the life they want (its a choice still but if you take away the money they wouldnt be doing it, so its still selling your body in the most intimate way you can which is unethical), health/danger concerns for the women.

Intrasexual competition amongst females- If they put down sex workers and insult them (and insult the men who sleep with them) then maybe less men would want to do it, and more likely to find them a more attractive option. Also by sex work being so available, it diminishes the value of sex in general, without sex what is a woman’s primary value to men?

If a woman wants to hold off having sex with someone, and sees it as an intimate act you should do with someone you love and have invested time into, and another woman is willing to give up sex cheaply, then they are seen by men as more of a chore, they are less likely to be pursued, cos they can easily get it by paying. This can be frustrating for them women who value sex at a higher value than ‘work’.

Also sex work creates guys who are undesirable and happy with it, because they can get laid by paying and don’t have to put any effort into maintaining themselves, this is bad for society.

2022-12-13T11:14:35+00:00

Women aren't all against sex work, and when they are it isn't for the quite frankly delusional reasons you've provided. My issue is that sex workers do not have good labour rights in most places, and that they are incredibly vulnerable to kale sexual violence.

I definitely would not be upset to see a beautiful sex worker with a man, because to me a man who uses sex workers gives me an ick. If its legitimate for men to be disgusted a promiscuous women then it's legitimate for women to be disgusted by men who use sex workers.

If you're an ugly man who can only have sex by bringing your wallet out, then why would any woman give a fuck that you're out of the market?

2022-12-13T14:52:24+00:00

Women who use thirst post and only fans are definitely against it

Partisode · 2022-12-14T01:47:30+00:00

If anything sex work gives women more power

Fearless_Trouble_168 · 2022-12-16T08:12:21+00:00

As a former hooker, no.

Men still want a respectable woman on their arm for their friends & family. The hooker exists in a separate world of pure sexual fulfillment.

Conscious-Bid778 · 2023-02-16T10:06:46+00:00

Title	Do you think some women are against sex work because it takes away a lot of their power over men?
Author	FckItDog
Upvotes	47
Comments	209
Date	December 13, 2022 1:46 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zkip2o/do_you_think_some_women_are_against_sex_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-think-some-women-are-against-sex-work.1144064 https://theredarchive.com/post/1144064

Comments