Older women who complain about age gap relationships are just jealous

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-06-08T19:10:53+00:00

Most of the people against age gap relationships are younger women in my personal experience. I distinctly remember turning 18 and some guy saying I was the "perfect age" and feeling disgusted. As well as being 19 and feeling weirded out by a 32 year old pursuing me. This is personal anecdotal evidence and not a research paper or anything though. Now that I'm mid 20s I don't feel as grossed out by guys in their mid 30s so I stopped caring as much. I still think it's weird for guys in their 30s to be interested in women under 21 though. They can't even buy alcohol yet.

Oli_love90 · 2023-06-08T18:42:54+00:00

Will a day go by when older women aren’t vilified just for being older?

You dislike looking at older women therefore they’re the enemy. By the time a women is older she’s not thinking of the dating prospects of younger women. Older women don’t exist in a cloud of jealousy for other women just because they aged.

You think so because you’ve created an unfounded narrative for these women based on your own dislike. Not evidence, not research, not talking to women just a silly assumption. Of course no one can change a view you made up.

dishonouronmycow · 2023-06-08T18:30:28+00:00

I actually see a lot of criticism in online spaces from young women on social media sites like tik tok and twitter. I like an older man but in my social circle it’s absolutely an anomaly and my friends don’t find older men attractive. The older women I know are too busy with their careers and and partners to care who I’m dating and how old he is

Novadina · 2023-06-08T18:48:12+00:00

Why would I be jealous exactly? You think older women are not already getting all the sex we need from older men? That there is some kind of “dick shortage” when it comes to old men? I assure you there is not, when I say it’s creepy a 50 year old wants to date an 18 year old, it’s not because I am unable to get 50 year old dick myself, and those teenagers are just hogging all the old men to themselves.

Then why don’t older women complain about ALL predatory men?

We do. You can see posts on women’s sub almost daily about abusive relationships. Tons of women’s shelters exist to help women who have been targeted by predatory men, created by women.

Older women only complain about age gaps. It’s obvious they’re just jealous.

I have plenty of old men attracted to me and am married to one already, so I don’t really see why I would be jealous some other old man who creeps on teenagers doesn’t want me. I don’t want them either, why would I want someone I think is a creep? My husband doesn’t hit on teenagers, he is attracted to me, and gives me all the dick I need, I don’t have any reason to be jealous.

Edit: Also, it’s usually younger women complaining about age gaps more than anyone, it seems to me. Like, my husband is 8 years older than me. It doesn’t feel like an “age gap” really, and obviously I know not all age gap relationships are abusive (although I also have seen many that are, that’s why it’s just a red flag but should not be illegal or something). But I see young women saying it’s an age gap if it’s something like 20 and 24...

AhsokaSolo · 2023-06-08T17:57:13+00:00

I find that modern young women care a hell of a lot more about age gaps than older women, personally.

bluestjuice · 2023-06-08T18:00:01+00:00

“Only women who are past their prime […] complain about age gaps” - false, there are also young women who make this complaint. There are also women of various ages who have no complaint about age gaps, or who have medium views, so there is not universality here.

“Older women […] are just jealous” - since often there are a variety of valid concerns about age gap relationships cited by their detractors, it’s false to claim ‘just’ jealousy as motivation. At the very least you must claim jealousy plus other concerns.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-06-08T18:01:54+00:00

I'm not jealous one bit. My husband is 7 years older than me, so I'm not even opposed to modest age gaps. I do become concerned when a 40 or 50 year old man is taking advantage of a girl fresh out of high school.

toasterchild · 2023-06-08T18:08:08+00:00

Oh hey look it's another man telling women he knows their real motivations better than they do. Ok buddy, believe what you want but we will keep teaching young ones to avoid your grooming bs.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-06-09T00:15:23+00:00

Complaining about that stuff seems stupid to me. It's not like most men can easily date women 10-15 years than them. It's only the chosen ones, namely the hot and/or rich ones. And women can just do the same if they want to. It's not like that option isn't available to them.

tromba_ciccione · 2023-06-09T10:36:13+00:00

women under 25 don't want to mingle with the average balding 30 yo with dad bod.

eefr · 2023-06-08T19:29:20+00:00

Then why don't older women complain about ALL predatory men? Older women only complain about age gaps.

We do. We complain about abusive partners and predatory men all the time.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-06-08T21:00:45+00:00

I'm 21 years old and I'm uncomfortable with age gaps. If they are not illegal or abusive it's not my business, but I personally find it disgusting when older men approach me, and I find it laughable when men insinuate that men in their 30s and 40s are what girls my age prefer.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-06-08T21:51:46+00:00

Well, I'm a married dude, and I think much older men who pursue women in their teens and early 20s are just huge creeps. So much for the "it's jealousy" theory.

What I find interesting about the age gap discussion from red pillers is that they will write ad nauseam shout how it's normal and even biological to be attracted to much younger women, yet it always stops at exactly 18 years old. 100% of these men will say they feel no attraction to 17 year olds, for instance, but the second a woman turns 18, suddenly the switch flips.

That's really strange, don't you think?

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2023-06-08T18:07:16+00:00

Woukd anything change your mond about this? What if young women that weren't fans of huge age gaps? Married older women? Men?

Unnecessary-Training · 2023-06-08T20:15:22+00:00

It's only women who are past their prime

No. I'm not all that old, and I find extreme age gaps repulsive. And so do all of my friends. In any case, the so-called 'Wall' is a complete myth.

why don't older women complain about ALL predatory men?

They do. It's just that you don't pay attention.

Glowupgirl111 · 2023-06-08T23:52:36+00:00

Im 21 and I think older men dating women my age a are predators and gross.

neetykeeno · 2023-06-09T00:32:36+00:00

Like most men you exhibit zero understanding of what it is to be a crone

I'm in my fifties and have had all the kids I want and all the dick I thought I wanted. I neither need nor want to acquire men. They are too much effort that can be spent on other things. If you offered me Leonardo DiCaprio to fuck, kill or to marry....I'd by preference kill him.

resurrect_john_brown · 2023-06-08T18:03:14+00:00

I think the more likely explanation is actually that as we grow, age, and learn from our own mistakes, we become more aware of ways that women are exploited and are concerned for the well-being of young women in general.

y2kjanelle · 2023-06-08T19:55:10+00:00

I’m 21 and complain heavily about it. I don’t like them, they are more likely to have significant power differences and statistically more likely not to work out anyways. Two different life stages are hard to work out unless both people are older.

I also do not like to receive attention from older men and do not want to be approached by them. Luckily now I have a boyfriend and go out with him a lot but when I was single it was very uncomfortable.

Some women are into it and that’s cool but the majority of young women don’t like it and don’t want it and do not appreciate men telling other men we want sexual attention from older men.

Find the women who have that niche interest or kink or preference and leave “young women” in general alone please.

Fancy-Football-7832 · 2023-06-08T22:25:28+00:00

I see more younger women dislike age gap relationships than older women. Older women are more likely to be conservative than younger women.

gofigure62 · 2023-06-08T18:01:47+00:00

I complain about all age gap relationships, including gay, lesbian, and age gap relationships with significantly older women.

I'm not "jealous", I just know that all of these people are manipulative, perverted, assholes looking to exploit someone's youth and nativity.

Everyone that I know who had a significant age gap relationship in their youth (hetero and homo) regretted it once their brain fully developed. For some of them it completely ruined and interrupted their lives.

96tillinfinity_ · 2023-06-08T20:37:34+00:00

Who gives a shit. If a 20 year old wants to fuck a 35 year old then so be it

When I was 21-22 (currently 27) I was banging a 35 year old. I was fully aware of what she wanted and I was mutually Interested

We need to stop acting like young women do not know what they are doing and are not aware

Any person who was fucking significantly older people while they were a teen or young 20 year old has no room to speak on anything age gap related

KayRay1994 · 2023-06-08T18:36:51+00:00

so what would call a man in his late 20s complaining about age gap relationships? or women in their 20s and 30s who do? or even men in their early 20s?

Orangematcha · 2023-06-08T19:49:32+00:00

Lol. Women do talk about predatory men. You don’t talk to older woman so how would you know. It’s the same as your assumption that only older woman talk down about age gap when it’s not true. Men and women talk about them. It’s not a single demographic.

Your lack of experience and information is your only source for this info and just because you want it to be true doesn’t mean it’s true.

As a guy, an age gap issue that’s gross to me personally, the Al Pacino and robert deniro having kids at 80 or so is gross. They have older kids that are about the same age as the woman they’re with now. How does that make any sense for themselves, their kids that won’t have a father but rather a grandfather for a few years at best, and their other kids. It’s unhealthy, and other not so wild age gap relationships can be in their own way as well.

To think that “woman whining” takes away from the actual act is pretty dumb. It’s the same way when men whine that dating is hard. What is the underline issue and is there any substance. Yes there are troubles in dating, how do we help. Yes there are issues with taking advantage of someone younger or monetarily, what can be done to help.

mumblebumblegrumble · 2023-06-08T19:50:57+00:00

Where's all this complaining going on? I don't see it. I have seen older women that have had bad age gap relationships warn young women of the possible downside but not complaining those relationships exist like they want the man that younger woman is dating.

NangKwak51 · 2023-06-08T21:00:31+00:00

How often are you subjected to these harangues from older women?

Or is it the mere possibility that someone, somewhere is possibly complaining that gets under your skin?

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2023-06-08T22:37:00+00:00

It isn't just older women at all. I have been speaking against this since I was in my very early twenties.

I have a friendship group ranging from 18 to 70 and the most vocal objectors to age gap relationships are the ones on the younger end of that age range. The older ones are much more chill about it.

The thing is you have something called "cognitive dissonance". Where you brush off when younger women speak out against this because (ironically) "what do they know!", yet hone in when older women say it. This reaffirms your ideas and keeps you in a place of comfort that alligns with your own beliefs.

Younger women will become older women one day, why would they support ideas that is destined to throw them in the trash for an inevitable fate? Young people have anxiety about the future like no one else.

Older women have been younger women, many have become mothers and they have made the mistakes they don't want their sons and daughters to face.

There's also the factual and (unsurprising) data that the large the age gap, the higher the risk of divorce:

https://www.unhappymarriage.info/age-gaps-and-divorce/#:~:text=A%20five%2Dyear%20age%20gap,whopping%20172%25%20chance%20of%20divorce.

Access to information is easier these days. Propganda is more common and varied but facts speak for themselves.

hungrychick404 · 2023-06-09T00:58:42+00:00

I’m 23 and I hate it when older men hit on me. It makes me feel angry, like did those dudes remember how old they are? I know I’m not immune from aging, so why would I want someone who is more likely to discard me as I age? I want to grow old with someone, not be some old creep’s pretty young nurse who he can also bang that he’ll replace if he can find a younger pretty nurse who will take him.

big_guy_not_small · 2023-06-08T19:57:09+00:00

I think there are a lot of older women who are genuinely concerned when an 18 year old is dating a 35+ year old. Most likely due to past experiences. There are also a lot of younger women who find it creepy when a much older man hits on them.

There may be some jealous older women complaining about a 30 year old dating a 24 year old, but I find that to be more of a chronically online thing, specifically from reddit.

10throwawayantsy · 2023-06-08T20:58:34+00:00

Older women and women in general regularly complain about all predatory men.

Wtf are you talking about lol

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-06-08T19:12:29+00:00

Lmao. Not jealous.

All age 10+ year gaps are gross. Older men, older women, doesn't matter they are ick.

I've been in 10+ year age gaps. We acknowledged the ick, had expectations, and knew it would end.

It's always ick. Best way to learn is to experience the ick yourself.

Excellent_Badger123 · 2023-06-09T08:40:01+00:00

Oldish woman here. I’m not jealous or threatened if older men want to be with younger women. I live in the land of 20-30 year age gaps slanted exactly that way, see it everyday all around me and nary a negative thought or worry about it.

It’s consenting adults, consenting after all. 🤷‍♀️

INFPneedshelp · 2023-06-09T15:56:27+00:00

We care about it because we remember being younger women preyed upon by older men. (No, not every age gap situ is predatory but many are).

harmonica2 · 2023-06-09T19:28:08+00:00

Well as far as age gap relationships go I know three couples who are in them and seem pretty happy.

I wonder if the amount of age gap relationships that are unhealthy, are actually greater than the amount of unhealthy relationships where there is no age gap.

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-06-08T19:12:36+00:00

Lmao. Not jealous.

All age 10+ year gaps are gross. Older men, older women, doesn't matter they are ick.

I've been in 10+ year age gaps. We acknowledged the ick, had expectations, and knew it would end.

It's always ick. Best way to learn is to experience the ick yourself.

medurevengea · 2023-06-09T05:14:01+00:00

False. I am a young woman who complains about age gaps. I barely hear older women talk about them; it's almost entirely young women who are against age gaps. And we are viciously against them. I wish older women would speak up and defend us more often.

nemma88 · 2023-06-08T22:48:29+00:00

What is complaining?

I would advise against them for people who are attracted to people closer to their own age looking for relationships because of my experiences. Its taking on a greater risk, not dissimilar to the argument made for taking on the risk of a promiscuous woman.

My experience is such because I personally have always been attracted to men older than me, so been there and bought the t-shirt half a dozen times over. Many side eyes of judgement have been given, but never of jealousy.

There's ways to mitigate risks (like growing organically, his age-dating history etc) , but that requires people actually talking about it, and they're certainly not things that benefit men. So I appreciate men would rather women stop talking to each other on the subject.

But all in all, if older women are concerned about predatory men, where the logic in them being jealous of not getting those predatory men?

Smoogs2 · 2023-06-08T18:07:20+00:00

I don't think they are jealous as much as they are on a personal crusade to protect random women. This is why women online tell men not to approach women at work, not to approach women at the gym or in public transport or grocery shopping. I've dated girls from all four of the mentioned places above and yet I've seen it so many times advised against by women online. If it is so common to meet SOs this way then why are women advising against it (and age gaps as well). Well it's because they assume you are approaching using the most crude tactics. Advising against men doing it is their way of protecting other women.

Same goes with age gaps. Read what these women are typing online about age gaps. They see Leo date younger women and say things like "how do they have anything in common!??!?" They are essentially protecting these women from what they assume are abusive men and incompatible relationships.

(never mind the answer to what they have in common is basically everything lol what could a young starlet who likes to travel on yachts, and first class, go to Monaco, enter exclusive bars and clubs, have direct access to top directors, writers and producers, have in common with Leo???? The fact that these women online even ask what Leo could have in common with a young upcoming LA bittie is a massive tell that these online women are all fat and boring)

2023-06-08T21:11:58+00:00

I'm not sure why women, young OR old, feel it's ANY of their business whom other younger women or in the case of Passport Bros, foreign women CHOOSE to date. It's also assuming these women don't have any self agency or the maturity to make relationship decisions for themselves.

Active-Razzmatazz-86 · 2023-06-09T03:10:02+00:00

Women don't give a shit about 80% men existence.But when the men they find attractive go for younger women they tend to become insecure.Someone like de caprio who was crush of women acorss all age grp when he went for younger women it made older women insecure

questioningfeminist · 2023-06-09T17:35:50+00:00

Just like men get the ick from high n women, and there's really no logic behind it, women get the ick from age gap relationships.

We just happen to live in a full on gynocentric society where the female imperative is the only right one and the male imperative is to be demonized and shamed into oblivion.

Stunning_Thing4208 · 2023-06-08T19:55:00+00:00

Go on dating over thirty or dating over forty and casually comment how much you prefer younger women. You get downvoted to hell in an instant.

Doesn't happen when a cougar snatches a toy boy.

AutoModerator · 2023-06-08T17:48:27+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AcanthocephalaNew947 · 2023-06-09T14:38:22+00:00

What’s there to be jealous about?

I’ve been a young woman. I know what dating was like, I’d have to be a pretty stunted individual to not embrace the natural changes of life

harmonica2 · 2023-06-10T14:52:14+00:00

When it comes to younger women bring more against age gap relationships because of Taylor Swift, is it what Taylor Swift says goes?

For example, if Swift sang a song about the opposite, and said that older men are more attractive, more mature, and better relationship material, would young women just believe in that then and roll with it?

BigEdsBun · 2023-06-10T20:11:17+00:00

Young women are on Twitter, Tiktok, YouTube and Reddit speaking constantly about their revulsion to older men hitting on them. Also in real life I have heard it multiple times from my friends and female family members. I have also felt it myself.

But part of the appeal of younger women for older men is the belief that young women have a 'malleability/willingness to believe what the man says', so men can ignore what they say/pressure them to date above their age.

Regardless, women marry men on average two years older. This is true is many countries, mostly the ones where women have the most autonomy.

LadyofTheGreyPath · 2023-06-09T00:49:01+00:00

Not sure it'll change how you feel, but what's your opinion of men who warn against large age gaps in a relationship? Are their concerns more valid or do you believe they are speaking out as a form of jealousy?

Title	Older women who complain about age gap relationships are just jealous
Author	Distinct-Yogurt9276
Upvotes	7
Comments	183
Date	June 8, 2023 5:48 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/144fyfi/older_women_who_complain_about_age_gap/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/older-women-who-complain-about-age-gap.1221692 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221692

Comments