Is there any benefit to being a traditional woman?

Thatshygurl · 2023-06-18T23:56:29+00:00

This is my fear. I’d ideally like to have a traditional marriage to an extent. I would like to be a SAHM for when my children are ages 0-school age, work part time during this period and then go back full time to work. I think in this modern day most families HAVE to have a dual income because that’s just the way the economy is.

The most important thing is to find a partner who understands team work. We both work to pay bills, both raise the children, and both take care of the house.

userhasleftchat · 2023-06-19T03:24:35+00:00

Being a trad wife sounds risky. What if you get married and have kids, then the man wants a divorce for whatever reason and you are stuck a single mother forced to barely skimp by unless you have a certain background/life circumstances (supportive family, financial resources, good job/career prospects, a partner that would handle the divorce in good faith to ensure wife and kids are taken care of), then you are putting yourself at a great risk relying on a man who could change his mind about you at any given time. Marriage doesn’t provide the same security that it once did for women and children.

Or he may not even divorce you, he may just turn into an insufferable abusive POS that treats you like a bang maid baby maker slave. Or he could be neglectful and disregard your needs you while he sees other women on the side. Possibly both.

I personally could never live with that kind of anxiety/uncertainty and level of risk involved in essentially giving control of my life to a man.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-06-19T00:44:41+00:00

If the woman enjoys housekeeping and childcare, and is very lucky and finds a very special man who is into the traditional dynamic but genuinely respects her and holds up his end of the bargain, then the benefit is that she gets to have the family and lifestyle she wants.

But realistically, it’s very risky and you’re probably more likely to end up stuck in a depressing or even abusive situation.

AhsokaSolo · 2023-06-18T23:54:05+00:00

It can be beneficial if a woman lucks into a great partner and loves that life, but it's very risky. It requires a trade of autonomy, unless the woman comes from wealth.

catfishchapter · 2023-06-19T13:52:52+00:00

My best friend was 20 when she met her husband - he was 35. Married by 22. Two children now at 28. Trad wife is and mother has been her life but guess who wants a divorce? She does. He’s mentally abusive, has gained a ton of weight, didn’t want to have sex during her pregnancy and post pregnancy. The work she does around the home, for her kids, for her family is never acknowledged, to simply ask for a foot rub or massage is met with destain. She keeps herself fit, lost all her baby weight, does yoga, studies full time while taking care of the kids - gives him massages, etc.

She thinks the trade off is NOT worth it. Her life bounded to a man, a life of misery? She wants out and he’s begging her to stay.

These are the lives of women that men don’t know about. From the outside, he scored and so did she. Inside? They are falling apart.

I truly believe this is why it’s older women advocating for young women to get their shit together and not care so much about having to find a partner, have kids, etc unless it’s someone that truly makes you happy because if not - as a mother WOMEN will take the burden of the responsibility so to choose extremely wisely.

Steakman1 · 2023-06-18T22:36:59+00:00

Mine is 3 and almost every man I’ve told has accused me of lying

There will be men who read online how western women are all hoes, promiscuous, or whatever. So no matter what you tell them, they will assume you sleep around. That’s their problem. Men who aren’t chronically online will likely judge based on your behavior if you seem like the type of woman who would sleep with a lot of guys. I’m not sure if your behavior gives off that sort of vibe or if you’re mostly dealing with chronically online guys.

a lot of men here hate ‘boss babes’

Being a woman with a job or even a career does not automatically make them a ‘boss babe.’ It’s the personality of these ‘boss babe’ types of women that are a turn off. Her having a career isn’t repulsive.

but if a woman doesn’t want a career, she then gets dragged for being a scrounger and a leech

My guess is that either these are different types of men saying these things, or they believe the women they are speaking about also do not want to contribute much at home. There are men who would prefer a dual income household since they are not aspiring to be upper class. So they are much more likely to be judgmental of the women who want to be more traditional.

It now means taking on the male breadwinner role as well as the female homemaking role and working a double shift.

As much as I like the idea of a more traditional family setup, I wouldn’t advise most women to aspire to be a traditional woman since it simply is not very realistic. The traditional family is a luxury that can only be achieved by being with upper class men who make up what, 10% of the population? If a woman ends up with an upper class man and then decides to become a traditional woman, that’s fine. But aspiring to be a traditional woman and forgoing a career is a bad idea for the majority of women. And it is also very true that there’s uninspired men who are looking for “traditional women” to take care of them like mommy did.

So I’m wondering if people can list any actual benefits to women being “traditional”

I’m more in favor of the traditional family setup because I believe it is the most optimal setup for raising a child. I’m not as concerned about the personal benefits I get for being with a traditional woman. I think the idea of a traditional family is romanticized in a sense. Personally I think it would be less stressful on me working a 40 hour work week and doing an hour or 2 of chores everyday while my partner does the same, rather than me working 12+ hours a day, and possibly more than 5 days a week so I can fulfill the traditional role of the man. But then my children are much more likely to be getting raised by their teachers and daycare rather than being raised by their mother. And I personally am losing more and more trust in the public school systems every year.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-06-19T11:00:53+00:00

It’s also very risky, my mum did this, did everything that was asked of her, had three children then he left for someone younger.

It happened to a lot of women of her generation, so we were raised not to rely on a man to provide for us.

Fiestygirl000 · 2023-06-19T01:22:49+00:00

It’s only beneficial if the guy pays for everything. No way would I be traditional with a man making me pay 50/50 of the bills

Dstar538888 · 2023-06-19T00:25:24+00:00

No, not in this economy… first of all, most men simply can’t afford that lifestyle, second of all, trying to be a traditional woman with these modern males will likely just get you played, cheated on, and abused tbh 😬

WilliamWyattD · 2023-06-19T04:39:55+00:00

Modesty and restrained sexuality can have benefits far beyond whether they affect your SMV. Most jobs suck; most men and women won't have fulfilling careers. If you can find a partner who can afford it, being a homemaker can be amazing.

That said, it isn't 1910. Things are different. A woman needs to also have some protection. Power corrupts: even a decent guy can start acting wrong if he has all the leverage in a relationship because she can't leave. So a woman has to think about that. Depending on how much money he has, relevant divorce laws, prenups you might sign, etc. it could still be worth that risk. But go in with eyes open. No perfect solution here.

Willow-girl · 2023-06-18T23:12:09+00:00

it now means taking on the male breadwinner role as well as the female homemaking role and working a double shift every day.

"Now" has been the last 40 years, at least in the working class.

DerayRevan · 2023-06-18T22:07:30+00:00

The are benefits if you come from a traditional background or have traditional views

Traditional men should look within traditional areas to find traditional women

Just like modern men need to find and date modern women

Beebum5 · 2023-06-18T23:38:34+00:00

I mean, I’m a “traditional woman” and my life is a solid 9/10… so all beneficial? I do know I’m very lucky and only know a few people in similar situations.

sexualdeskfan · 2023-06-18T22:24:29+00:00

Having a full time job and still doing most of the housework and child rearing isn’t being a traditional relationship though so I don’t know why that example is included here. That’s just called getting the worst of both a trad relationship and a new age one.

The biggest benefit to having a traditional relationship where you stay at home 24/7 or work minimally is you get to actually raise your kids which is one of the most important things in a parent and their kids lives. I think you’re somewhat imagining or listening to too many online opinions around the negative stigma about being a stay at home parent. Ive never heard anyone IRL get called a leech for wanting to raise their kids.

BreezyBritt89 · 2023-06-19T07:12:12+00:00

From my point of view,no. Unless you were able to see into the future to know you’d be treated fairly. For one,I went through a phase when I was younger where I was more or less a “pick me” who always coddled men in any discussion about gender relations,snarked at other women and basically always gave the benefit of the doubt. I learned (and many others have,I’ve heard) that you don’t become “one of the good ones” to misogynists by doing that,they don’t care. If they looked down on you before,they still hate you even when you’re furiously agreeing with them. Not all Trad guys are misogynistic,but you have to admit it takes a certain kind of guy to openly want the upper hand in a relationship.

For two,they rarely hold themselves to the same standard they want to hold you. He’s looking at you with disgust for having sex with random (or FWB) men but the only reason you two are even talking is because he’s using apps to fuck strangers too. Most of the “high body count” men I’ve known in the past weren’t particularly hot,they just had low standards and slept with whoever was still standing at last call.

Zombombaby · 2023-06-19T16:25:51+00:00

Sure there are. Feminists aren't arguing that sometimes women can benefit from patriarchal values. Our issue is in order for women to benefit from the patriarchy (and traditional gender roles as a result) they'd have to still submit to a man. That means they'd have no control over their financial, domestic or social situations. So for the entire system to work where everybody is happy, the man has to consider his wife as someone who isn't just a tool to accomplish things in his own life.

caobozo · 2023-06-18T22:22:47+00:00

if your greatest passion in life is child rearing and homesteading and you find a man who is guaranteed to never abuse you or mistreat you, lose his job, or leave you, then yes. unfortunately no such man exists.

gumballmachine122 · 2023-06-18T22:26:11+00:00

Only if it's for a traditional man who takes on the responsibilities associated with it and has proven that he's loyal to you.

Even then, it's probably better to mix and match some more modern elements depending on the personalities of the two of you.

BaadKitteh · 2023-06-19T01:47:50+00:00

Who cares, let the ones who want to be traditional and the ones who don't be whatever they want. Feminism is about free choice, not about discouraging free choice.

amber_day · 2023-06-19T02:35:20+00:00

Some men are going to accuse you of lying but it's not all men. But it's hard to trust people especially in romantic context these days regardless of gender. My friends gf cheated on him recently with her "guy best friend". You can't expect people to trust another so easily

Traditional women don't have low ncount because they want to be seen as traditional it's because the see sex as romantic activity exclusively and don't need to jump in bed with randos to heal.

AcrobaticRhubarb2147 · 2023-06-19T04:38:44+00:00

Nope. Look at Steve Crowders wife, how did being traditional work out for her?

dyngladfel · 2023-06-19T17:22:57+00:00

Your prize as a traditional woman is to bag a traditional man. That does not appeal.

LadyofTheGreyPath · 2023-06-19T18:58:30+00:00

Too many weird guys running around so no, depends on where you live though. Certain men have weird views about what traditional means and it's not worth the risk.

his_purple_majesty · 2023-06-18T22:17:21+00:00

I feel like so many men and women are plugged into the lamest most basic social circles.

All the complaints about "men" sound like you're only exposed to American Psycho business bros, or the laziest fucking losers, and the complaints about women sound like whatever the equivalent would be.

I don't know anyone in real life who thinks in these terms. "Body count?" Is that something anyone over 27 says?

I mean, I would prefer a woman who isn't "career driven" because I'm not career driven and it's just not how I want to live.

wtknight · 2023-06-18T22:40:19+00:00

having low body count isn’t really a plus because so many men literally won’t believe you.

I think most men will believe a woman if they see her behaving in a "chaste" manner. The men who don't aren't going to trust any woman about anything, so there is nothing lost in rejecting these men.

not being career driven and wanting a family. a lot of men here hate ‘boss babes’ but if a woman doesn’t want a career, she then gets dragged for being a scrounger and a leech.

If a woman does actually work hard within the household, I don't think that most men who actually desire a traditional woman are going to complain that she is a scrounger and leech.

Puzzleheaded_Aside_3 · 2023-06-19T00:20:40+00:00

Honey. I have a body count of one yet still most people see me as a fuckboy with a bodycount of 40 something.

I’ve had women easily leave me because they thought i just saw them as some form of a sex object.

It has to do with people insecurities and Observations of things.

There is ALOT you can benefit from being a traditional woman. As any kind of traditional man as to why that is and you’ll be happy.

It’s just that being traditional itself in today’s society is already a hard thing.

Ainsleygz · 2023-06-18T22:15:03+00:00

Not needing to shave

Safinated · 2023-06-18T22:21:31+00:00

Moral superiority, male approval, lack of responsibility

Antisocialite99 · 2023-06-18T22:39:41+00:00

The men that don't beleive you are just weeding themselves out.

Real relationships are built on trust. Someone who feels like you're an authentic person who wouldn't lie to them wouldn't be X3ing your given n count.

But yes there are benefits to a low n count. Lower chance of stds, abuse, murder by partner, self harm, etc etc etc.

Royal-Tip4585 · 2023-06-19T03:03:38+00:00

I brought this up years ago. The collective action of hookup culture in the west will permanently damage men and women’s view of the other.

Your right men will always assume in the west women are all promiscuous. It’s because even the ones that aren’t (which I think is the silent majority) defend it as if they’re defending the right to vote.

So I guess what that leads to is why be traditional?

I saw for atleast the mental health benefits. No one is better off sleeping with strangers. Each one gives you a -10% hit on your psyche.

So do it for the right reasons (your own sanity) and you won’t have to care what others think.

10throwawayantsy · 2023-06-18T22:39:29+00:00

Not really. You kind of just lack pleasure in your life and get stomped on.

BigZaddyZ3 · 2023-06-18T22:21:08+00:00

The first one is legitimately a good point. The second one doesn’t really happen unless she’s specifically dealing with non-traditional men. (Which she shouldn’t if she wants to play the traditional role.)

WayT00Far · 2023-06-18T22:36:52+00:00

Then stop caring about men who are looking for traditional woman? Clearly thats not you, go find the guys who arent looking for traditional women

having low body count isn’t really a plus because so many men literally won’t believe you

I guess being a cheater isnt really a negative, because so many men wont believe you. And vice versa. So they should go ahead and treat the women they are with like they are a chronical cheater

what would be the point if men just assume I’m lying?

How is the conversation about body count even coming forward. Realsitcally speaking, everyone knows the other person might be lying, so they dont even bother bringing it up.

If they are bringing it up, chances are they have heard of your sexual history

not being career driven and wanting a family. a lot of men here hate ‘boss babes’ but if a woman doesn’t want a career, she then gets dragged for being a scrounger and a leech.

Most men arent encountering women right from highschool. Especially the men you are describing and want. Most women are qualified to some extent. As such, these qualified women with work history, think they can get some guy and be treated as a queen from minute one of meeting. As such they are golddiggers, since they can leave soon after as well. Essentially you have to earn that treatment.

If the men you were describing were with the women from grade/highschool, then itd be different.

ZeeMark17 · 2023-06-18T22:26:29+00:00

I didn't look at the videos and will only respond to the career topic.

There's a difference between employed women, career driven women, and boss babes. (according to me at least)

Employed women: Men do not have an issue with these women. These are women who go to work, probably enjoy what they do, or not, and get a paycheck so they can go live their lives. Most men want these women.

Career women: Often put career ahead of everything. That's good for her, but not always good for the relationship or family. Some men do not want to be in a relationship where they have little time to spend with their wife or girlfriend. Basically, the career is more important to her than every other thing.

Boss babe: Normally not actually a boss, just a girl with a job or a self-employed woman making some money. Is normally a narcissist and values herself highly on almost all metrics of life based of nothing. Has a spending problem as a result of wanting to present as a boss babe and does not have a likeable personality.

Is there a benefit to being a traditional woman? Yes if you find a man who wants to be traditional. You live a traditional life where the man's focus is on provision and protection while the woman's focus is on looking after the wellbeing of the family and being a homemaker.

TheDustLord · 2023-06-18T22:51:17+00:00

Traditional men (meaning, the men who women generally want) will find you a lot more attractive and will work harder for you.

WayT00Far · 2023-06-18T22:51:49+00:00

So I’m wondering if people can list any actual benefits to women being “traditional” today in the sense they’re modest, natural, don’t hookup, want to be a homemaker/mother rather than a career woman?

The smartest people on the planet are traditional women. Its Black R$$$ and their ilk, that convinced women 'hey you need to go out there put money in our wallets---fight for your rights and get a job! Instead of treating your husband as your leader, treat all of us as your leader! So you can buy that shiny necklace you've always wanted! Now you get to be our slave, just like your men are! And if thats not enough, you can also show your butthole for 2.55 to practise empowerment!'

Unfortunately, most people, men and women, are stupid. As a result they fell for Black R$$$'s attempt to further break apart the family and lure people under their influence. Essentially they are making sure their sheep dont stray too far away from their farm.

AutoModerator · 2023-06-18T22:02:54+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

LouisdeRouvroy · 2023-06-19T02:26:11+00:00

not being career driven and wanting a family. a lot of men here hate ‘boss babes’ but if a woman doesn’t want a career, she then gets dragged for being a scrounger and a leech.

It's not an either you're a boss babe or a stay at home wife.

Men in the west aren't against women working. They're against women thinking their career somehow makes them more attractive as women.

They're also against faux stay at home wives, the ones who don't want to work at a job but neither at home.

Blue_Robin_04 · 2023-06-19T02:40:26+00:00

The first video sounds absurd, at least out of context. How does she think humans have lived for tens of thousands of years?

armpitpics · 2023-06-19T03:00:17+00:00

Being a traditional woman benefits women who want a traditional man that will subsidize their lifestyle within a long term relationship. If you're not interested in men or in that kind of relationship model then traditionalism won't benefit you.

I don't stop wanting sex and feeling attracted to men when I'm single. I see no reason refraining from sex just to keep my n count low or getting in relationships with sex partners I don't see a future with just to get the "casual" label drop off from the relationship. I'm aware many men won't like it but that ain't my problem.

I'm also not a careerist or a #bossbabe because I value balance. And since I value balance, I don't want a man who wants to spend most of his week at his office and expects me to arrange my live around his career, which seems to be a common mentality among men who complain about women's careers.

Scandi_Navy · 2023-06-19T04:28:58+00:00

Well not all men are the same, and you are conflating them. Low n count and SAHM go together with a traditional man who has put in the work to earn enough. Just because liberal 50/50 men exist doesn't make that a problem. Pick one or the other.

Anxious_Adult123 · 2023-06-19T04:37:38+00:00

mine is 3 and almost every man I’ve told has accused me of lying

I am a guy who do care about body count. But I think obsessing over it is unhealthy. I believe as long as it's comparable to yours and was not in casual hookups, it's ok for me. If someone is too concerned about n count and still don't trust the person, how can they ever be happy in a longterm relationship!

Also, if you consider yourself a non traditional woman, won't it be better to not go on dates with someone who is looking for traditional women.

WingclippedBirdman · 2023-06-19T06:37:52+00:00

The benefit is there but its not for you. Marriage has never been about the two people marrying its always been about the kids they have. Its why bastards werent recognized as family, because theyre not of the marriage and were not protected like the children of marriage were. A traditional marriage is not about you, and its not about me, its about the kids. If thats not your priority, then its not for you.

Low body count is a plus, regardless of his belief, because you still have higher odds at marital stability. Thats an undeniable benefit you give your kids and your marriage. A stay at home wife gets dragged typically if there are no kids, because if shes not working and not raising kids then what the hell IS she doing? Not much. Im still not for trash talking people like that, if he wants to spoil her then let him do so.

women today need to be a breadwinner and a housekeeper

You dont have to but its a balance of wants. How much luxury lifestyle do you want? Well you need more cash for that. How much less lifestyle will you take if it means more security like home ownership and lower col but less vacations, less fancy restaurants and less tech gadgets? Its really about the tradeoff but most people dont really think about what they're fine giving up.

whats the real benefit?

Your kids are far more well adjusted, spared every multiplier of despair that results from single parent home rearing and a massive amount of joy from spending time with the family. Kids are assholes but they've also got a great tendency to brighten up a room and put a smile on anyones face. Theres a lot of downs but the highs are unparalleled.

nunchuckbitch27 · 2023-06-19T06:43:15+00:00

I didn’t watch the videos but I’m a traditional wife and I think there are tons of benefits to it I love my life and I love my incredible husband for providing it for me. But you absolutely have to find the right guy for it to work. If you are the type of person that views sex as something special and not just something you do because “it’s just sex” then having a low body count is a plus and always will be. It doesn’t matter if guys believe you or not those that don’t believe you aren’t worth your time anyway.

AreOut · 2023-06-19T08:04:27+00:00

traditional woman doesn't mean that she doesn't work at all, there are a lot of part-time jobs that women could do from home

both partners should contribute to the budget, not only because of the money but also because of the feeling that you are both fighting on the same side

3ONEthree · 2023-06-19T16:33:46+00:00

Hi, I’m new here, I intend to do a experiment in the future here.

Some qualities of a traditional wife are ethical and moral while others actually stem from dehumanisation and misogyny if we dig deeper into history (that is whole discussion in of itself), which have been indoctrinated into her and hypnotised into.

The good qualities of a traditional wife is

she doesn’t date, this particular aspect is good but some parts of it are extreme. Ideally you should talk for a week or 2 asking serious questions only to see if you should pursue that person by then getting engaged to extend the talking stage and eventually get married. In this small pursuing-talking stage, joking is kept to a minimal, no physical touching and no flirting . these are traditional standards that a women doesn’t flirt with someone other than her husband and joking with the opposite gender is a no no, I disagree with the joking part but rather it should be minimal & professional. The benefits of that, there is no baggage and time is being valued for both parties and emotional connections are not diluted due to having multiple fuck baddies and In the small talking stage there are no attachment feelings due to flirting which would negatively impact your judgement and decisions.
She dresses modest, one of the good qualities of a traditional women is she does not dress promiscuous nor wear provocative clothing such as very revealing shirts or really tight jeans that have rear end creases to “show off” her butt
No make up or very minimal, one of the good qualities of a traditional wife is she doesn’t wear Insane amount of make up, or she doesn’t wear make up at all but rather takes care of her skin and works on her beauty naturally and has natural beauty. Likewise with her body all natural care using the right products, no bbl’s or any other cosmetic modifications.
She is willing to contribute in cooking & cleaning.
Engagement periods aren’t too long 3 months is max.

Oh i forgot to mention, getting married young.

As for the negative aspects that is a another post.

Vapelord420XXXD · 2023-06-19T16:58:26+00:00

You stay a traditional woman because that's what you want and value. Not for some hypothetical man.

Complex-Hat1875 · 2023-06-18T23:31:33+00:00

Do you need benefits to do something in your life? Does there need to be benefits to be kind to others when being a flagrant asshole can be so much more lucrative and fun?

If you're a traditional woman, it's a safe assumption you're not wearing the skin to attract traditional men just because it's expected...you're actually traditional and already believe in those values. Why would you do the exact opposite of your beliefs because they'll just assume you're (x) anyways? If you're not traditional why do you care what a traditional man or woman wants?

At the end of the day you're the one who has to live with your actions; the "benefit" to being a traditional woman is access to traditional men, and vice versa.

rhagaeas_executioner · 2023-06-19T07:50:37+00:00

no there isn't, go start an OF and have the whole football team run a train on you.

Condom-Ad-Don-Draper · 2023-06-19T12:53:11+00:00

Do you include children in your body count -- I mean thev had to go through there giving birth right?

asdf333aza · 2023-06-19T15:36:47+00:00

Is there any benefit to being a traditional woman?

You get a traditional husband who will literally finance your entire life, and all you have to do is:

1 take care of the kids (which you have to do with or without him there),

cook (which you have to with or without him there)
Have sex (which you would probably do with another man if not him).

You basically get stronger and bigger human being who spend a significant amount of his time, energy, money and attention making sure your life is easier. He will protect, provide, teach, love and bend over backwards to shield you from the harshness of the world.

And there has a large cry on social media like ig and tiktok about "modern" woman who work, and have careers wanting "traditional" men to settle down with. Cause these men provide and protect. They literally just make life easier for a woman. And they're least likely to divorce.

Title	Is there any benefit to being a traditional woman?
Author	amber_day
Upvotes	49
Comments	158
Date	June 18, 2023 10:02 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14cwk9t/is_there_any_benefit_to_being_a_traditional_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-there-any-benefit-to-being-a-traditional-woman.1222831 https://theredarchive.com/post/1222831

Comments