Do women care about men's looks?

plumtastic · 2023-08-17T21:45:28+00:00

Yes of course we care, yes we like muscles, though nowhere near to the extent of the current gym bro culture.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-08-17T22:08:30+00:00

I actually can't believe guys don't know this tbh. I've been arguing with a guy who acted like he just recently discovered women care about looks and how we are all liars. There's an entire blackpill movement which takes the looks thing to the extreme.

Cptsdthrowaway22 · 2023-08-17T22:55:32+00:00

We do care, but it's not as extreme as the opposite sex thinks. I don't expect someone to look like a model. A decent face, good hygiene (being clean, taking care of your hair, skin and clothing), and working out to not become overweight/obese is fine with me. I prefer slim and lean over huge and muscular.

What I find physically attractive may not be what my woman friends like. I have had women set me up with "such a handsome man", when he wasn't my type at all. Believe it or not, I have way more women push me into dating someone who I don't find attractive. Most men in my life don't care.

Solopist112 · 2023-08-18T00:52:43+00:00

We care about looks but most men don't seem to care about how they look. There are some things you can't do anything about - short, balding, bad facial features -- but many things guys can change - get rid of that pot belly, take regular baths, skinny guys, hit the gym, creepy guys - show some confidence, lose the threatening vibes.

Ag116797 · 2023-08-18T10:01:45+00:00

Of course, women care about looks just as much as men do, especially when casual sex is the objective.

Meihuajiancai · 2023-08-18T12:35:39+00:00

Women, I know it seems ridiculous to hear it, but the fact that men can genuinely ask this question is evidence that lots of men are told absurd things about women and what they like

RonMexico432 · 2023-08-17T22:43:13+00:00

They don't care AS MUCH as guys do, but they care.

THUNDER_SLAYER_777 · 2023-08-17T22:09:12+00:00

People are programmed to value looks .

Puzzleheaded_Pin4857 · 2023-08-18T01:10:20+00:00

Haha! Yes. Looks are like the cover charge to the dating club. If you can afford drinks, appetizers, bottle service and private entertainment, those are like a bunch of the other attributes you may have. Income, status, personality. Without looks you’re not getting in the door unless someone on the inside knows you have enough of other traits to override the rules.

KlutzyJewelers · 2023-08-17T21:38:59+00:00

Yeah, they do. Just like men.

Safinated · 2023-08-17T22:00:33+00:00

Of course we do

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purpleunicorn888 · 2023-08-17T23:20:03+00:00

Yes, we do. I’m demisexual too (need an emotional connection before I’m able to feel attraction to someone). I think women, including myself, can have trouble accepting the idea that we care about looks bc it feels shallow perhaps. Personally if other qualities are really special, like his personality, leadership qualities, intelligence, how he makes me feel, etc. He can be below average for the face and I will think he’s handsome (this might be a demi thing?). Body is trickier for me bc I love fitness and it is important to me that a guy puts in effort to his appearance—which would be reflected by his styling and body fitness. He doesn’t need a 6 pack or anything like that, just taking care of his dad bod is good enough for me.

dumbbitchcas · 2023-08-17T23:57:52+00:00

I find a man who is stronger than me undeniably attractive but I don’t actually care YK? If a skinny guy is kind enough that’s really all I care about. But muscles? Not really. As an ex gym bro myself, I find the gym bro bullshit pathetically unattractive. I’d find someone who worked with their hands and was strong bc of that, or a man who had an actual athletic hobby (martial arts, Rec sports club/team, rock climbing etc) much more attractive than some roid head aesthetic lifter. Looks aren’t a major thing. I’ve gone for guys of many varying racial and ethnic backgrounds, from 5’3 to 6’8, from skinny emo guys to 300 pound body builders. Long hair, buzz cut, it doesn’t matter. Most women tend to be very open with their attraction. Just be kind.

So. Looks rank very low on what I personally care about and base attraction on (granted, I am also demi) “Muscles” don’t do shit for me, I only ask that they weigh more than me (130 lbs) and are Atleast my height (5’4)

Dabrigstar · 2023-08-18T00:25:01+00:00

Of course they do, put a guy who looks like Kevin James and one who looks like Chris Hemsworth next to each other and ask them who they would rather go out on a blind date with, aint nobody picking the King of Queens!

Oli_love90 · 2023-08-18T01:27:24+00:00

I think they do but of course it varies heavily. That’s why you always hear the anecdote of women being incredibly confused by their friend’s choice in men.

And no, I don’t care about a man’s muscles. For me they don’t do much.

neptunebabe23 · 2023-08-18T02:22:11+00:00

Yes, I feel looks are reflection of everyone. Do they take care of themselves? What are they into (if they were sports jersey or anime shirt lol)? Are they into fashion / care about styling?

Muscles, no. None of my friends and I cared about muscles specifically. Some of us like long skinny lanky, some like a little chunky / buff. Some like lean. But not of us, specifically said we wanted muscles in a guy. Personally when I see a gym bro in bumble/hinge I usually swipe left. Just like if I see a fishing pic lmao.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-08-18T03:20:42+00:00

Of course we care about looks.

Muscles are another story. Some women like them, some women don’t.

I have to admit, I am shocked to see this question on this sub. The majority of comments I see from men on this sub are shit like “attractive guys can get away with anything“ or “women will put up with abuse if the guy’s good looking enough“

This was a refreshing change.

Operatesinreality · 2023-08-18T03:24:10+00:00

Yes. They do if consciously or not.

I don't like muscular. I like normal.

nemicro · 2023-08-18T06:40:08+00:00

They care of if you're handsome (and tall) the most. You should have a fair hygiene as well to not smell bad. That's it. Probably not wearing really bad clothes. And muscles are appreciated but not as much as height and pretty face

RadiantEarthGoddess · 2023-08-18T06:51:17+00:00

To a degree. I don't have many physical dealbreakers or preferences when it comes to potential romantic partners. What I care about is: not severely under- or overweight and decent hygiene. I am also not into really muscular men. I prefer a soft man.

That being said, when it comes to me, you can be as beautiful or handsome as possible, but that isn't going to get me interested in you. I need to know a person really well in order to develop romantic or sexual attraction.

ImAGhostOooooooo · 2023-08-18T08:08:24+00:00

Of course we do, are aren't inhuman. I won't date someone if I'm not physically attracted to them. IDC about a specific body type, as long as they're healthy and in relatively good shape then their body is fine to me. I prefer tall, husky men ideally

dyngladfel · 2023-08-18T09:20:42+00:00

Of course they do. In terms of body it does depend, I like guys who are skinny but strong, and I've got friends who prefer guys who are more stocky.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-08-18T10:00:32+00:00

Yes, we care about looks. You date and have sex with people, not concepts, which means they have physical bodies you can look at. How much someone prioritises looks, how much their perception of looks are conditioned by other factors like personality and what look they like all very though. Similarly, everyone has some kind of preference for level of muscle but this varies. (Although, in general, the average level preferred is less than men think.)

FlightOfThePigs · 2023-08-18T13:49:49+00:00

Yes it's why I as an 8 gets likes from 4s on dating apps despite having absolutely nothing in common with those women lol.

Angels_hair123 · 2023-08-18T13:52:44+00:00

Yes 100% not to humble brag but I have a cute face and got built in middle school and the amount of girls growing up that would be straight up staring at me or saying to their friends look at his muscles as I went down the hallway was very noticeable.

No-Chance-8405 · 2023-08-18T15:23:05+00:00

Yes, women do absolutely care about a man's look. This has been discussed on this sub many times. If you browse a little bit you will find many similar posts here.

But a woman's attraction is more complex than that of a man. To phrase it simply though, a woman's attraction is a combination of physical and emotional attraction. That's why looks matter to us, but they are not everything. A man needs to pass a certain threshold lookswise (which is individual for each woman) in order to make her want explore his other qualities as a sexual and romantic partner. That's where emotional attraction develops (or not) and becomes the strongest force of her interest in a man.

A fun fact for you: women don't find most of men attractive just from looking at them. A few are hot, some are ugly, and most of them are simply unremarkable and make us feel indifferent. There are interesting discussions about this topic here as well. Imagine that it works more like this: ok, he passes my looks threshold, now let's see what he is like.

As for muscles, most women like a fit and toned man. A smaller part likes the steroid-buffed men, and an equally moderate part likes skinny men.

And now take everything that I've said with a pinch of salt because after all we are individuals with unique preferences.

TLDR; We do care about looks! A man's looks must pass a certain threshold.

Mentathiel · 2023-08-17T21:44:30+00:00

Yes, absolutely.

AngeCruelle · 2023-08-17T21:58:28+00:00

Certain often minor aspects of one's physical preferences can be overlooked if the man compensates in other areas. Brunettes are my default type but I have liked particular blondes under the right circumstances. Perhaps this is the sort of thing your friends are referring to albeit in very imprecise terms because the level of specificity afforded to this topic in casual conversation doesn't necessarily match that of an academic paper.

Muscles are a matter of taste. American culture is obsessed with them, but that doesn't necessarily translate into individual preference. As someone who has dated from gym bro to soft teddy bear bodies I definitely find the latter sparks something in me the former doesn't. ^{That said I don't fuck around with health, if your doctor is telling you to lose weight, do it. I'll live.}

Zealousideal-Sell137 · 2023-08-17T22:43:24+00:00

Yes we care, but can I say I've noticed myself and probably other girls categorise men in looks quite easily, so its rarely a quantifiable score like guys like to give.

It's basically, would you fuck him or not answer, the yes would include lots of men that might surprise you.

Guys just have to seem masculine, clean and cool/confident, I'd say this is 10-15% of guys, but that really depends on the area. Like in London, where i work it's probably 20-30%

Then there's the maybe's......the guys that might be cool. but not hot, might look great, but seem immature or sleezy. These are most men. And I imagine these are guys who will wonder why they struggle to get girls becuase there's often nothing too wrong with them.

Then there's the hell nos, and i think you know who these are.

mybelovedx · 2023-08-17T23:34:07+00:00

Obviously? Nobody WANTS to be with a person they find physically unattractive, regardless of their gender.

Glowupgirl111 · 2023-08-17T22:28:54+00:00

Yes women care about looks

No muscles dont matter if a guy is tall and handsome

RatchedAngle · 2023-08-17T21:44:02+00:00

I care about the effort a man puts into his looks.

Most men are capable of being attractive.

But a lot of men put in zero effort. You should know what haircut suits your face, what style of clothing suits your body. You should be working out and dressing well. You should smell good.

There’s nothing that pisses me off more than a good-looking person who appears to be ugly and acts like a victim solely because they don’t put in the effort.

You can go from “eh” to “holy shit he’s hot” with very minimal effort (a little Google research, experimenting, and some extra cash).

Sudden-Crow1497 · 2023-08-17T21:42:33+00:00

Everyone wants a partner that they find to be physically attractive, but what someone finds to be attractive can vary person to person and can depend on a variety of different factors.

Edit: A lot of women definitely find muscles attractive but not the body builder types that most guys have in mind. Many women prefer more natural athletic bodies. I personally like men who are a little bit on the slimmer side.

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-08-17T22:20:31+00:00

Sure, I care that the person I'm with is hot.

But what's hot varies based on the individual.

Muscles are great too but again, varies by individuals.

Women are far more flexible in the way they care about looks.

Sophiatab · 2023-08-17T22:36:05+00:00

Of course, we do. It is only natural to care about how someone looks. The difference is women care about more than just looks. Men who don't look good may be able to compensate for it with a good personality to find a partner (the same is never true for a woman).

Welllarmedhippie · 2023-08-17T22:40:16+00:00

Women care about effort. If you don't take care of your health, hygiene or looks at all then that's unattractive to most everybody.

Muscles help, but are not necessary judging by the dough boys I see swimming in women these days. That depends on what type of women you are trying to get.

TelevisionGloomy5458 · 2023-08-17T22:57:07+00:00

Yes, and hygiene!

NJFlowerchild · 2023-08-17T23:37:50+00:00

Obviously. You can't fuck his personality.

diaryofalostgirl · 2023-08-17T21:46:16+00:00

Well, I do. See comment in other post about wanting to smash enthusiastically. That doesn't happen if I'm not physically attracted to him.

waffleznstuff30 · 2023-08-17T23:00:02+00:00

Yes of course we do. We want someone who is physically attractive. If we are going to have sex and stuff I would like to be at least liking what I am seeing.

Now what people find attractive is totally up to the beholder. I am not attracted whatsoever to beards for me a full beard is like 0. Other women love beards and want the bearded buff dude. I like the skinny guy with softer features. Also how a man styles himself as well.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-08-18T00:28:23+00:00

Yes.

1Here4Bach · 2023-08-18T13:55:27+00:00

Yes.

MidoriEgg · 2023-08-18T22:42:05+00:00

I think it’s a cultural thing, men’s looks are very important some places and less so. Also, differs between individuals with some being more visual than others

Title	Do women care about men's looks?
Author	ReadingFamiliar3564
Upvotes	3
Comments	157
Date	August 17, 2023 9:31 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15u0g9z/do_women_care_about_mens_looks/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-care-about-mens-looks.1228830 https://theredarchive.com/post/1228830

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