So many people try to make women give honest feedback to men, but it's just rude and unsafe

thecosmicvoid · 2023-10-19T07:35:21+00:00

Idk how I ended up on this sub, but can someone call poison control for me bc this shit is toxic af

13choppedup2chopped · 2023-10-19T01:10:54+00:00

She reality is that your last paragraph reveals what actually upsets a lot of men. Being unattractive is hard enough. Short, broke, ugly, uncharismatic, and so on, are clearly things women do not like. But being an unattractive man means you are met with contempt and disdain by women. And being unattractive to women is a great way to be bullied by other men. There’s only so much you can say about a guy that gets laid. If unattractive men were simply told no, that’d be fine. Often times, what actually communicated by women is a level scorn that is at once scarring and disorienting.

Mr_KenSpeckle · 2023-10-19T02:24:12+00:00

The headline broke today that Jordan Van der Sloot finally confessed to murdering Natalee Holloway. He confessed that she rejected his sexual advances so he bashed her head in with a cinder block. Maybe that's why women sometimes aren't completely honest with men about exactly what they think of them.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-10-19T01:28:14+00:00

Whenever I have given honest feedback, it’s been met with argument, anger, empty promises or some combination of the three. Literally every time. Zero exceptions.

That’s not really surprising since most people aren’t in the most rational, unemotional and self reflective space when they are being rejected. Adding what is likely to be interpreted as a personal attack, regardless of how it is intended, is not likely to improve their headspace…

I don’t think there’s any reason to believe that it was helpful or useful when I did it and it was far more unpleasant for me than it would have been to fade and / or just give a generic excuse.

leosandlattes · 2023-10-19T01:27:49+00:00

What exactly are we supposed to change your mind on? That we don’t give men feedback?

The majority of men who have trouble dating aren’t deranged psychopaths just itching for their moment to Elliot Rodger it up. They’re, y’know… awkward and desperate. Not dangerous. They’re looking for empathy and sympathy, and if you don’t have the emotional capacity to do it, then don’t. No one is blaming you for that. But you don’t need to go on an unhinged tirade about crayon eaters. These aren’t Army recruits anyway 🥴🤗

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-10-19T02:49:49+00:00

I cannot emphasize to men here enough how much your life and mental health will improve when you start to ignore women who can’t communicate openly with men. You shouldn’t even consider women who feel this way to be anything more than an acquaintance. It would probably be hard to even work with women like this, but I haven’t found that women act this way toward coworkers as often.

Avoid people who say they get tired of playing therapist. I’ve had plenty of people come to me for advice about relationships and mental health and I never felt compelled to give it. And I’ve never had a bad reaction if I say what they are going through isn’t in my wheelhouse and that they should go see a professional because I’m not qualified. No one compels anyone to be their personal therapist and people who think that probably do not know how to either assert boundaries, don’t recommend them adequate mental health resources or they have internalized sexism that makes them feel like they can’t say no to people like that

These men don’t want therapy though. They found a girl they liked and then that makes them feel comfortable to show vulnerability to these women. It’s anti social behavior but they aren’t asking for a therapist

MrBrittle · 2023-10-19T01:33:07+00:00

No one is obliged to give true feedback to anyone, but what usually happens is false feedback.

"Look in the mirror" is not helpful advice, it's just abstract and offensive nonsense.

I'm a man and I give advice to men who have difficulties and they don't get aggressive.

I say things like:

You are too thin/fat (if you are), go to the gym;
You need money, go study, try to become specialized labor and when you can, buy better clothes;
You are after women who are not worth it, try another type of woman.

None of them were ever aggressive. On the other hand, many women lie to them, whether in a nice or rude way:

Woman with light lie: There's nothing wrong with you, any woman would like to have a boyfriend like you, but you know, we don't have chemistry;
Woman being rude: Your problem is your personality, you scary piece of shit (I'm sure this one will one day suffer some aggression as a result of her own attitude)

No one is obligated to help them with real feedback, but that doesn't mean you need to be rude, or give fake feedback. In fact, whoever does this is a bad person. If you don't want to tell the truth, just be neutral and say nothing.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-10-19T01:14:53+00:00

How are people suppose to know and learn if no one is honest to them?

prsadr · 2023-10-19T08:23:53+00:00

Somebody got hurt badly and decided to take out their frustration on men today.

tiddermacss · 2023-10-19T01:33:01+00:00

Smart women - which I consider myself a part of

lmao

Earth-lover93 · 2023-10-19T01:22:25+00:00

I’m just tired of the lying,

Esterwinde · 2023-10-19T10:02:19+00:00

Dang sounds like double standards. I’d probably be cancelled and be called a sexist misogynist incel if I were to provide some women the “brunt and honest truth”, or flip the script of whatever the fk you said. But I guess it’s men’s fault for not accepting rudeness disguised as honesty.

Maybe people in general don’t like to be insulted even if whatever bad traits they have is true.

Eschew_Sloth-232 · 2023-10-19T01:05:58+00:00

I guess this is the kind of punching down that is perfectly fine here now. Ideologically possessed mods won't ban you for making this post but the last sentence is pathetic and says more about you.

The type of men who are obsessed with the truth as you say here on ppd are statistically unlikely to be the men actually harming women, since you need to be around women regularly to harm them. As usual women have very little to say about the men actually abusing them, lying to them etc I have actually seen excuses for these kinds of men, so as far as I am concerned you are speaking out the side of your mouth. If the men on ppd were really that horrible ironically they would have no issues because not only is morality unimportant when it comes to attraction, the more dangerous and strain on society a man is the more attractive he becomes.

What this is all about is the breaking down of the "women are wonderful" effect, the mask is off and it makes you uncomfortable. Luckily for you young men are too sedated from porn, video games, drugs etc to actually actualize any silly revenge fantasy.

Safinated · 2023-10-19T02:47:59+00:00

That’s because it’s good for men, but not for women

Luckily, we don’t have to do what they want anymore

tunickookaburra · 2023-10-19T01:56:33+00:00

Yea it’s fair you think that way but then it’s also fair that you aren’t treated with respect as a result of you thinking that way

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2023-10-19T00:56:22+00:00

I don't think anyone should have to be a therapist to someone but I do feel like people should let people know what turned them off so they are aware and can work on themselves... So many people just ghost instead of telling the guy or girl what turned said individual off from them and I do think you would see a lot less disgruntled dating posts of that type.

LogicalLetterhead272 · 2023-10-19T06:12:11+00:00

That would make sense why women don't want to give honest feedback IRL, but women still don't give honest feedback in anonymous spaces like Reddit or anywhere else. So much BS dating advice and outright lies about women's preferences are even in places where they don't have to worry about being attacked

MyLastBestChance · 2023-10-19T02:07:13+00:00

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PrecisionHat · 2023-10-19T14:05:37+00:00

Why does she have to call him a loser or say awful things. Just say you aren't interested and don't get rude unless he does. It's pretty fucking simple. Be firm but remain as kind as possible. I'm not saying not to tell rude men to f off, but you paint this picture like most of us are going to hit you or something if you reject us, which is a baseless fear; it's so unlikely that you are in danger in these situations.

Also, politely rejecting someone is not therapy, dumbass. Lol

Ok-Act-8610 · 2023-10-19T15:03:34+00:00

The guy who salivates like a rabid animal on PPD and obsessively demands for "THE TRUTH1!!" is not the sort of guy you'd ever want to antagonize.

Usually, when a guys says that he doesn't know why women reject him, people on PPD insist he's lying, but the truth is that even if he gets an answer it probably won't be the truth.

Mr_KenSpeckle · 2023-10-19T19:21:31+00:00

There is a Red Pill saying that "the hesitation is the message." Women who are interested in you will find a way. If she is turning you down without proposing an alternative, it's an L. Why force her to be brutal with you? It's not her job, she may be concerned for her own safety, plus she quite possibly doesn't even know why: she just knows she isn't feeling it. She has already given you honest feedback by turning you down. From there, it's on you.

From there, the feedback you need is from guys who are successful. And not from megachads. Look around for guys who seem to be somehow punching above their weight class. When you see some guy who is getting women he doesn't "deserve", that can be fucking annoying at first blush. But set that aside. This guy is exactly who you need for feedback.

The feedback may come in two forms. First, if you are able to actually talk to this guy, ask him all of your questions him and ask him directly for feedback. Try to be completely open and receptive to input that you may be resistant to at first. If possible, try to spend more time hanging out with these kinds of guys. Second, even if you can't talk to him directly, observe how he walks, how he talks, how he dresses, how he interacts in groups, etc. Look to reverse engineer how this guy does it.

Dstar538888 · 2023-10-19T04:14:40+00:00

Eating crayons in pre k🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Xtal333 · 2023-10-19T08:03:11+00:00

Sweetie, if you don't want to give advice to men or discuss these topics then don't come to a forum dedicated to exactly that. Your alleged intelligence is not evidenced in this incoherent rambling of yours.

LouisdeRouvroy · 2023-10-19T01:21:37+00:00

If you guys need to be given countless chances and motherly patience + forgiveness and fries on the side, maybe you should just be eating crayons in pre k, because clearly you are too incompetent for people to allow you to dick them down.

If you girls need to be given countless chances not to get a fist sandwich and given fatherly guidance and forgiveness and change in your pocket, maybe you shold be playing dolls in pre K, because you are clearly too incompetent to open your mouth, to get a dick in or word out.

I guess I get OP's message...

StereoFood · 2023-10-19T03:40:36+00:00

I would be happy to know why they didn’t like me over someone else so I can improve upon that next time. I don’t think thats unfair.

meangingersnap · 2023-10-19T13:41:08+00:00

If any of you want to be told by a woman that you will forever be single, there’s no point in trying and also you’re ugly, I will do so with pleasure. Now stop complaining about women’s honest, I’m telling ya everything you need to know!

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wtknight · 2023-10-19T01:30:14+00:00

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ornamentalwallpaper · 2023-10-19T03:06:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-10-19T12:55:54+00:00

Weird they still do it here

throw_it_awayyy8 · 2023-10-19T13:13:40+00:00

Smart women - which I consider myself a part of -

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

r/iamverysmart moment?

jcolls69 · 2023-10-19T13:30:09+00:00

Are you saying that the only reasons women don’t sleep with men is if they are short, broke, or a combination of the two?

WilliamWyattD · 2023-10-19T15:40:35+00:00

Only people with no social skills are asking women to tell the truth all the time in person. That is dumb.

On the other hand, on an anonymous sub about gender dynamics, one should tell the truth. Why else are you here?

nonplussedminus · 2023-10-19T16:05:17+00:00

Women don't even criticize other women openly, because women are agreeable and adverse to direct confrontations.

Icy-Sprinkles-638 · 2023-10-19T18:12:40+00:00

Smart women - which I consider myself a part of

Which means you're not. One: actual smart people don't brag about their intellect. Two: smart people don't write the grammatical abomination that you wrote there.

And to your larger point: this is just a paranoid delusion fueled by unchecked ego and neuroticism. There's a reason stories about what you think happens all the time get turned into TV specials and it's because they're so far out of the ordinary that people find them compelling to watch. But don't mistake what you see on the teevee box for reality.

CountMandrake · 2023-10-19T18:14:05+00:00

It's like when a woman asks if it's helpful to take self defense classes to feel safer while walking the streets alone at night, and if it's possible for a 5.3' petite 100 lbs gal to succesfully defend herself from a 6.3' 200 lbs attacker.

Most men will tell her "yes, it's absolutely possible for a trained woman to take down a man twice her size, I've seen it happen countless times".

In reality, if men were REALLY honest, the advice would be like...

"Nay bitch you're delusional and you'll get the shit smacked out of you. Better get a gun and don't wander around at night alone, get a boyfriend if you can too"

But no man wants to be a sadistic motherfucker so they give a soft, more diluted advice in hopes the woman get the hint without making her feel bad.

dsbmistrveemocvlt · 2023-10-19T21:54:25+00:00

Hey eating crayons in the pre k don't sound that bad

OtPayOkerSmay · 2023-10-20T22:10:42+00:00

I think most men would prefer honest feedback as opposed to getting "soft-nexted" and being blind as to what they did wrong.

Women think they are doing the "nice/kind" thing by not being honest with men, but my take is that we would rather just have the cold, hard truth. It hurts so much more to see through the lies after the fact than it does to just get honest feedback that we can work with.

Title	So many people try to make women give honest feedback to men, but it's just rude and unsafe
Author	ornamentalwallpaper
Upvotes	40
Comments	291
Date	October 19, 2023 12:46 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17b69qh/so_many_people_try_to_make_women_give_honest/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/so-many-people-try-to-make-women-give-honest.1235672 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235672

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