Women, what is your perception of the male experience? What do you think life is like for us, or in what ways do you imagine or see it differing?

wtknight · 2023-12-19T12:11:23+00:00

OP, please make a small edit in order to bring up the AutoModerator.

KikiYuyu · 2023-12-19T21:17:51+00:00

I definitely see a lot of men are suffering, that much is clear. There are a bunch of men who have it really good, and the men that are suffering get treated like they are successful by association of being male.

Men definitely have a hard time understanding how women experience sexuality. A lot of men assume it works the same for us as it does for them, and that leads to a lot of misunderstandings.

Overall, men are just people who are different from me in a few ways, but more like me than not.

Mentathiel · 2023-12-19T22:55:34+00:00

I think men are under a lot of pressure. Pressure to achieve something professionally, to have certain social skills, a certain level of confidence, to have material wealth, to be seen as cool and easygoing, to be threatening and non-threatening at the same time. Idk. It feels like there's always something to feel inadequate about.

It also probably feels lonely. Way less heart to heart, touch-starvation, feeling taken advantage of. Nobody cares much about your life, interests, preferences. You have to find an interesting way of speaking for anyone to even listen to you and limit your topics of conversation to socially approved ones.

I think they feel less pressure than us to start a family. Biological clock is far more flexible for them.

I think they have less body-image issues, though they're catching up in the younger generations.

I think they find it easier to be assertive.

I think they repress a lot of emotions and aren't even aware of them. As in, they're worse at recognizing their own emotions than we are. And often they just feel angry instead of feeling whatever they're actually feeling. Like, they don't get a promotion they wanted, and instead of feeling disappointed and sad they start getting angry at how unfair it was or who else got it or whatever. Maybe that's a bad example because it may actually be unfair, but my point is they use anger to avoid every other negative emotion pretty much.

I think being a man is much more physical. They're more grounded in their bodies and able to enjoy it, more interested in sports and being rough with each other, manual labor, active hobbies, stuff like that.

I don't know what else the differences might be, can't think of other stuff off the top of my head.

Safinated · 2023-12-19T15:35:40+00:00

That sex rules your lives in a way I’m glad it doesn’t rule mine. Other than that, I don’t see much difference

operation-spot · 2023-12-19T14:53:42+00:00

I honestly feel bad for y’all. Too many men place their self worth in the crumbling idea of masculinity and women. I think some men never had a sense of self beyond patriarchal norms so without that guide they don’t know how to act. Instead of finding that out by living life, a lot look to a guru/grifter who doesn’t have their best interests at heart.

I have gained more empathy for men after my male friend was hit with a fake pregnancy. I never realized how little control men have and now it makes more sense why so many are terrified of feminism and the freedom it gives women.

Sorry for all the scattered thoughts lol.

No-Refrigerator3350 · 2023-12-20T01:53:12+00:00

I feel sorry for the modern man.

You're at a crossroads trying to navigate what masculinity looks like in a world that still rewards toxic masculinity; while simultaneously shames it. It's mixed messaging.

Men are still valued only as providers yet providing for a family becomes harder and harder. While mental health is more normalized; your feelings are still gaslight lit with "go to therapy" thrown at you if you express discomfort.

But myself, personally, I've been burned too many times trying to extend an olive branch. My sympathy is from a distance. Men need to figure out what it means to be a man. They don't need me, a woman, involved.

EulenWatcher · 2023-12-19T14:06:12+00:00

Men and women aren’t that different, we have similar needs, wants and desires. Of course, there are some gendered differences that probably play a role in perception and behavior, just as there are differences between individuals that make them into different people, but I don’t view men and women as two different species.

Most my understanding of male experience is built on men around me. My sample is very mixed tbh. From one hand, I grew up in a Russian village, I saw just how easy boys fell into criminal setting and addictions. For girls the ruining moment was getting with a wrong boy and getting pregnant, for a boy it’s his first conviction or drug. Boys were far more involved in “prison law” living and I know some of them were collecting money for jailed criminals. Not all of them had these issues, but the smell of prison and prison “moral” laws were so much stronger for them and shaped their behavior more than girls.

From the other hand, I also saw and interacted with some relatively wealthy spoiled kids. Boys seemed to flash their parents wealth more than girls and generally used more of their parents money and status to their advantage. My mother’s friend was raising her oldest daughter very strictly but both boys could do whatever they wanted.

As I was growing up my cousins were dating and marrying. Their husbands seem to be good guys, we spent a lot of time together. They are not that different from my cousins - similar background, level of education and income. I don’t think either of them has any struggles with dating, I know that most of them were pushing the idea of marriage and kids. They’re family men. They probably experience much more pressure to provide financially for their families, but they all also have working wives and their income levels aren’t much different. A few of them stayed at home with their newborns as it made more sense financially and some of them had periods of long unemployment or sickness and their wives took care of them.

A lot of my perception of male experience is built on my husband’s experience. He has a hard time relating to male dating issues considering we met at 16 and he didn’t really have to “pursue” me. Overall our lives now aren’t that different - we’re egalitarian and we share responsibilities. We both work, do chores etc. There are aspects where one of us does more or is better at but I think overall we have it pretty even.

A big difference in men and women’s experience in Russia is compulsory conscription. At the age of 18 boys have to go to the army, but they can a deferment if they’re studying. So getting a degree gives you more time to find a way not to get into the army…lots of boys are rather bad at studying and they get expelled anyway. I was really surprised how lax they were in university considering no one really wanted to go into the army.

Nowadays a great difference is the war itself. I’m terrified with the number of men who go to the war willingly. Some want money, some want purpose, a lot just don’t want to fight for their life, freedom and dignity. More men than women support the war. But I’ve also got to see a lot of men leaving Russia. I think married men leaving with their spouses have it easier than singles. When we left my husband could afford not to go to physically taxing and dangerous work because I was covering our basic expenses and needs. I’ve seen a lot of couples doing the same - with a surplus of male immigrants men have a hard time finding a job.

Men and women who haven’t left the country have and will have very different experience with/after the war. Men are dying, getting traumatized and disabled. Russia does not have proper system to help them. They won’t get their PTSD treated. Women are left to raise the children. In Russia there will be a lack of men of working age who could marry and have kids. There will be more single mothers again and I’m afraid this whole ordeal with return gender relations back to Soviet Union era and it sucked. I think Russian saying “he’s a good guy, just deaf and wets himself” illustrates the concept well. There are some Russian soldiers that rape, torture and kill civilians. There are also Russian soldiers who got enlisted from jails. Most of them will return to Russia…and what will they do there?

mrs_seng · 2023-12-19T12:13:14+00:00

Perhaps quite the same. Men have their struggles, their fears, their insecurities, their happy moments, their illnesses, their needs, their dreams and so on.

What those struggles, fears, etc varies from man to man (as it varies from woman to woman).

Overall, it's similar up to a point. I like how they don't have to deal with periods and the overall difference in strength. Also the simplicity of shower - dress - get out.

Dating is different, but pretty privilege still applies.

They also mature later in life so I guess this is why they are more fun.

MistyMaisel · 2023-12-19T17:23:58+00:00

Not that wildly different from women in most ways, it does seem like more men I know carry like...deep struggles and trauma in their soul in a way that almost literally seems to weight them down. Y'all should get that stuff out there so you can let it go.

I assume the biggest difference is in how many bags of groceries you can carry in at once.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-12-19T17:37:58+00:00

Damn, no cheese discussion? Bullshit!

Anyway - I've grown up in EE, so what I've seen there is most likely very different from what American guys experience. But, from what I've noticed, guys who are social and outgoing tend to do okay in dating. They may not be banging a new chick every other week but they've had at least a couple of relationships by the time they're 30. The ones who struggled were either truly unfortunate looking, or guys who were pretty introverted, or who never hung out around any women. You guys seem to want sex more than us, but other than that, we all want the same things - someone to love and be loved by, someone to be there for us when times get tough.

I also think you lead a lonelier existence. I'm fortunate that in my friend group, the guys are open about all the crap going on in their lives and are happy to commiserate with us and the other guys in the group, that openness means they have people they can rely on emotionally when shit hits the fan. Other guys, however, bottle up everything and assume sharing your feelings is gay, and that sounds incredibly lonely to me. I've always had female (and male) friends to turn to and share what's been bugging me, and there is a lot of comfort in the knowledge that you've got people to cheer you on when you're down.

apresonly · 2023-12-19T17:33:24+00:00

I think men have had a good thing going for a long time and this generation of men is understandably upset they suddenly have to put in more work and treat women better than their fathers and grandfathers.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-12-19T15:22:07+00:00

Very similar. We have the same wants and needs at the end of the day, we're all human even if everyone is a little bit different. We generally think and feel the same. The main differences are physical things, for example men tend to be less good at handling pain as they don't get monthly periods and they have a different experience of physically interacting with the world as they tend to be bigger and the world is more designed for their size, and how people perceive you, for example often a woman with treated with less respect than a man who is basically the same as her and men tend to spend less time looking at clothes as they were never told to care about that. If I was a man, I'd imagine I'd live largely the same life, most of the things I do are more common for men anyway. My dad seems to have basically the same brain and way of seeing the world so I can't see a particular difference that having certain genitals makes.

Economy-Shake-1448 · 2023-12-19T14:42:32+00:00

From how men on Reddit behave:

Johnny wakes up in the morning. He lives with his parents or a bunch of roommates. He goes on tinder and sees no matches. “This is women’s fault. I’m an average looking man and average looking women are too entitled to give me a chance! They will pay for this! When they are 30 nobody will want them!”

If Johnny is older than 40, he will look in the mirror and say “I don’t look a day above 25! Women my age are old and post wall! I only want to date women who are 25/30 or younger!”

Johnny spends his morning breakfast/ pooping time swiping on tinder and getting no matches.

Then he goes to work at his $40k a year desk job. “Women should be grateful that men built our roads, our buildings, our infrastructure, and our plumbing. They should worship the ground we walk on. Men build everything”. At his job, he does data entry.

While doing his data entry job, Johnny’s coworker Jim comes in. Jim married a fat woman named Sarah. Johnny is astonished because he believes Jim is an average looking high value guy. He can’t believe how hypergamous women are and how Sarah was entitled to date Jim. Jim talks about how much fun he had at his honeymoon at Disney world with Sarah. He bought her some loungefly backpacks as a souvenir/ gift. “simp” Johnny says as he chuckles to himself.

After work, Johnny goes to the gym. Of course it’s crowded because it’s after work hours. Johnny feverishly tries to avoid making eye contact with any women because he’s afraid they will accuse him of staring. One woman is wearing very tight booty shorts and Johnny gets incredibly angry. “She just wants men to stare at her so that she can make false accusations!” He humphs. While he is filling up his water bottle, he makes small talk with Angela, who is chubby. Angela is very nice to Johnny, and even is flirty. Johnny politely engages with then leaves. “Stupid fatty. She doesn’t deserve an average looking man like me. The audacity for her to try to talk to me. Women are so hypergamous”.

Johnny gets home and prepares a relatively healthy dinner. While he eats, he checks tinder again. He has three matches! To his dismay, one is 35 (ugh). Maybe he can use her for sex! The other one is overweight (ugh). No fatties! So he immediately unmatched her. The third is a skinny, 21 year old woman who attends the nearby community college. “Finally! A woman at my level” Johnny says to himself.

Johnny chats with the 35 year old and says “I’m just looking for something casual right now.” She replies with “great. Me too. I’m a single mom who works two jobs, I can’t do anything more than that”. Yikes. A single mom. Of course she probably is seeking to trick Johnny into a serious relationship by pretending she just wants sex. Women are liars! However, as they chat, the conversation fizzles out and she doesn’t reply to Johnny. “Hypergamous b!!!” He says to himself.

Johnny messages the 21 year old. She is a total Stacy. A total babe. “Hello” he says. “Hello! Please click this link to follow me on only fans!” Johnny seethes with frustration. This woman lives her life on easy mode.

Johnny falls asleep to passport bro videos. “In the Philippines, I will be treated like a God! I’ll have a harem of 21 year olds!” He says to himself as he falls asleep.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-12-20T10:10:32+00:00

I admit that men in general probably have it harder because it's expected that men make the first move.

But to me it looks that most men I read here are probably autistic or sociopaths and the problem is their mindset. It's just not normal to evaluate people x/10 and count your "value"... Also it looks that a lot of men her think that dating is like computer game and they can find the correct combination of words and action that gurantee them that any woman will sleep with them. They don't realize taht every woman and also man are indivudual human beings with unique needs and desires and it's not like finding the correct key combination in computer game. They alos don't realize it's not science and not about "looks match", it's about chemistry, feelings, how you clic with that one unique individual human being. Most men here don't even see women as people but as sex objects to be used.

I just don't know if men that I describe are really evil or just that broken.

Uglypostwall · 2023-12-20T12:48:57+00:00

Men are under pressure, but they are better beings because they can move on and work hard to be content while women can't do that. We just ...exist lol.

What I like about men is they are more assertive and less emotional. I really do as being emotional is mentally exhausting and assertiveness helps you a lot. Women get biological drive to want romance which is sad as it only exists for few years. Craving romance makes us weak and desperate. Sure men also experience it but they can get over it.

Best part no one cares to see "men not being religious" as bad while opposite for woman.

PerfumedPornoVampire · 2023-12-19T13:34:09+00:00

Here’s a few random thoughts:

I think men are a lot more carefree, but don’t realize that they are. Of course everyone has to adhere to society’s standards to a degree, but men by in large do whatever they want whenever they want and don’t think twice about it. Men also aren’t afraid to take risks when compared to women.

Men aren’t really interested in “love” at all, just respect and adoration from others, i.e. it’s all one sided and being given to them by others without reciprocation.

Men as a whole have higher self esteem than women (don’t let incels fool you).

Feel free to disagree. Of course people are individuals, life is a spectrum, blah blah blah. These are just some things I’ve noticed over the years.

Sophiatab · 2023-12-19T16:24:53+00:00

Being a male is like waking up winning the lottery every morning. Outside of prison or some very crime-ridden parts of the world, men have virtually no fear of sexual assault. They get to live without fear when interacting with the opposite sex unless they actually do something bad. No one questions or condemns men for working, getting an education, or considering the economics of anything. Men can have sex without being called a slut (or possibly assaulted and killed). They can even easily pay for sex or companionship in many societies if they don't feel like bothering with their partners feelings. Men aren't badgered to change their names upon marriage or expected to automatically love (or even like) children. Men aren't required to starve themselves, wear uncomfortable clothes or face paint in order to be considered presentable in public. A man can take a shower, use deodorant, put on clean clothes, literally about 15 minutes prep time, and be considered properly dressed for all, but the most formal occasions. And even on formal occasions they can wear the same clothing until it's rags and still be considered appropriately dressed.

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Title	Women, what is your perception of the male experience? What do you think life is like for us, or in what ways do you imagine or see it differing?
Author	SpecificHamFlavour
Upvotes	31
Comments	243
Date	December 19, 2023 9:26 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18lxwpn/women_what_is_your_perception_of_the_male/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-what-is-your-perception-of-the-male.1241128 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241128

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