Q4Women: At what age do you consider it offputting when a guy is a virgin

kisforkat · 2024-06-03T05:29:21+00:00

Never found it off-putting. Why would I? I get to introduce them to a really fun cool thing! I slept with 2 virgin guys in their late 20's. But if I encountered an older virgin guy (at least before I met my husband) it wouldn't have been a deal-breaker at all.

EulenWatcher · 2024-06-02T23:22:26+00:00

In romantic context middle-late 20s. The problem isn't in virginity itself, but in a lack of experience in long-term relationships. I'd have problems with a guy who was sleeping around and has never had an LTR till his late 20s as well.

Ok-Situation2395 · 2024-06-02T23:14:05+00:00

Honestly? I’ve seen dudes that lost their virginity at 22, 25, 27 and it wasn’t weird. I had a female friend who lost it at 40. It’s not weird if a guy is a virgin at 40. I might have some questions, but it’s not off putting at all.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-06-02T23:00:24+00:00

Don't know, don't care. Why would he tell anyone? It's no one's business unless he feels like sharing.

Plazmatron44 · 2024-06-03T02:25:13+00:00

I don’t find it off putting, everybody has their own story.

Commercial_Tea_8185 · 2024-06-02T23:30:19+00:00

I quite literally have never spent a moment thinking about such things

Exotic-One3381 · 2024-06-03T01:04:56+00:00

depends why.

stemlords who finish a phd layer in life, or general dorks like the film 40 year old virgin are OK and sometimes cute.

incels who have attitude issues and play WOW all day are not ok

also a lot of vigens later in life are extreme Christian or Muslim or Catholic who wanted to wait until marriage. if they are 35+ and not married they could still be a vigian

Lysa_Bell · 2024-06-03T04:02:59+00:00

Whatever age I am and my experience level.

It's not about the guy being a virgin. It's about me valuing similar level of experience. I don't want a virgin or someone with a body count of 200.

When I was 16 I lost my virginity to someone my age who was also a virgin. I had some virgins afterwards which was fine because I was also figuring myself out. In my 20s I slept around a bit and figured myself out. I'm 35 now and I couldn't imagine being someone's first. My body count is around 13. I had my experiences. My soon-to-be-husband's body count is around 4. He never had sex outside of a committed relationship. He had long term girlfriends. I would not have started dating him if he was a virgin at 29. Mostly because sex is very important to me. I don't want to be someone's first and deal with their FOMO or something like that.

If I was still a virgin waiting for my prince I would probably have a different mindset. If I was single in my 40s and met someone and they said they were a virgin until their mid 30s it would raise my eyebrows but if they got it out of their system and are ready to be committed to me then I wouldn't care.

The age doesn't really matter. It's what your status is, when we start dating.

ILikeBird · 2024-06-02T23:14:32+00:00

It really doesn’t matter.

Medical_Sense5953 · 2024-06-03T07:11:22+00:00

It really depends on the set of circumstances right? I would say mid to late 20’s if a guy has been actively trying to loose his virginity and has been making a real effort to do so. It gets to a point where if he was that determined, he would have saved up to visit a sex worker in a place where the practice is regulated. Of course, this is subject to change based on other factors, particularly personality traits and physical traits as well.

That age range of course gets extended if the guy was holding onto his virginity until marriage or some other religious purpose, and then later lost faith. Like, if a guy was maintaining celibacy to be a member of the clergy and then lost his faith and the like, if it’s been less than 5 years from that change, I wouldn’t hold it against the man whatsoever.

Lanaglu · 2024-06-02T23:24:27+00:00

Never, I don't see it as a problem at all.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-06-03T00:01:42+00:00

none. i really couldnt care less

mrs_seng · 2024-06-02T23:42:33+00:00

To me, it matters. It starts raising eyebrows after 22. It starts to be weird after 25.

Siukslinis_acc · 2024-06-03T04:04:02+00:00

When they start to make being a virgin their main/core identity.

AngeCruelle · 2024-06-02T23:16:53+00:00

The PC answer is my actual answer. Never.

serpensmercurialis · 2024-06-03T06:20:36+00:00

mid 20's but it depends on the individual

2024-06-04T17:18:02+00:00

There isn't one for me. Actually, it's a sign of self-control and self-ownership. I'd rather be with a man who acts with intention than one who is controlled by his third arm.

2024-06-05T00:01:14+00:00

25+ is when it would become weird to me

Mentathiel · 2024-06-05T13:03:28+00:00

It's not about the guy's age, it's more about my own experience and outlook. If I feel like I'm way more comfortable around sex, relationships, communication, etc. than he is, that might be a problem, it might be too much hassle to work to get him out of his shell. If he's a virgin, but doesn't have shame, insecurity, immature conceptions about sex, lack of education in anatomy, fear of communication, etc. then that's fine, it will take some time to get used to each other, but tbh it does with any partner. But most virgin men will have issues around sex bc of our society, so I guess I started minding it when I started having less of those hangups myself.

For people who are not romantic prospects and who want to have sex, I'd start finding it a bit worrisome late 20s early 30s. Before that age a lot of people who have had an unfortunate youth are figuring things out, but at that point personality is formed, everyone else is partnered off, those who aren't probably aren't super-happy with your inexperience, you're probably increasingly frustrated...

Expensive-Tea455 · 2024-06-03T01:24:31+00:00

25, most men aren’t purposely waiting that long to lose it and there’s usually a reason why no one wants to fuck him whether he acknowledges it or not 😬

TSquaredRecovers · 2024-06-03T00:17:22+00:00

So, I wouldn't necessarily phrase it as being off-putting. But I'm in my mid-forties and have had a lot of dating experience going all the way back to when I was a teenager, and I'm also a parent, so I would be incompatible with an inexperienced man at this point in my life.

KikiYuyu · 2024-06-03T02:36:15+00:00

I don't think any age is off-putting if there's an explanation for it. I would see it as a possibility of a red flag, but I wouldn't count it as a bad thing until I knew more.

Sillysheila · 2024-06-03T09:35:43+00:00

25-30 however I will not think someone hates women or they’re a bad person or something because they’re a virgin. I feel like too many people do that now on instinct and we sort of need to calm down about it a little bit as a culture.

I find it very unusual just because 90-95 percent of people have had sex by their mid 20s https://www.good.is/this-chart-shows-how-old-americans-were-when-they-lost-their-virginity but that’s not a bad thing? I would just wonder why they hadn’t been able to lose their virginity by then. Not bad, but strange statistics wise.

saraimarsena · 2024-06-02T23:03:36+00:00

personally, 23. even 22 is pushing it. i would not date one

MistyMaisel · 2024-06-03T01:01:51+00:00

I don't really care about the virginity thing. I was a virgin until 27 per example.

I care about relationship experience/dating experience. If he's turning 22 and never dated or had a relationship, I have questions. If he's 25, it's off-putting.

The secondary thing I care about is his teachability and attitude and porn related baggage. Dudes who are open to learning and do as they're directed who aren't piling on their weird or crazy expectations and pressures: great, we can work on things physically. I haven't ,met many dudes who are super cool about you telling them the kissing or making out or touching isn't good and no, you're never doing that sexual act so they should call it quits before anything happens if that is really important to their satisfaction. Most dudes can be less experienced than you in relationships and still try to be the boss and not in a hot way.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-06-03T00:16:06+00:00

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januaryphilosopher · 2024-06-03T05:23:17+00:00

I don't, it's appealing. If I'm single at sixty I'm going to think I'm strange too.

Critical_Corner_1859 · 2024-06-03T05:28:35+00:00

Lilrip1998 · 2024-06-03T18:08:56+00:00

Past 26. Will not elaborate

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-06-03T19:11:32+00:00

Honestly I think it's always fine IF you don't make it your identity, you don't take seriously some pill bullshit, you are not desperate to take anything that has a pulse for the sake of not being alone...

If you just simply happen not to meet someone special it's not weird at any age. Better than losing it with someone you don't even care about just for the sake of it.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-06-03T19:11:38+00:00

Honestly I think it's always fine IF you don't make it your identity, you don't take seriously some pill bullshit, you are not desperate to take anything that has a pulse for the sake of not being alone...

If you just simply happen not to meet someone special it's not weird at any age. Better than losing it with someone you don't even care about just for the sake of it.

SlavePrincessVibes3 · 2024-06-02T23:51:52+00:00

I mean, I'm into some intense stuff, so sexual inexperience would be a big roadblock to overcome. It wouldn't be a deal breaker, tho.

I'd be very worried about their ability to be in and maintain a long term, adult relationship, tho, if they'd never been in one. I would say the same for someone who just slept around or had short term relationships. It has nothing to do with sexual experience and everything to do with knowing how to be in a relationship.

claratheresa · 2024-06-03T02:52:13+00:00

Some of us are not compatible with people who are ultra religious

Q4Women: At what age do you consider it offputting when a guy is a virgin

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Title	Q4Women: At what age do you consider it offputting when a guy is a virgin
Author	dogickker
Upvotes	28
Comments	281
Date	June 2, 2024 10:58 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1d6pw0h/q4women_at_what_age_do_you_consider_it_offputting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4women-at-what-age-do-you-consider-it-offputting.1520383 https://theredarchive.com/post/1520383