Women lose attraction to their husbands more than the reverse, and that's why women divorce much more often

abnabatchan · 2024-07-23T12:22:48+00:00

women are enforcing a situation where they want men to be with 1 woman (themselves).

I'm a little bit confused. doesn't this go both ways? men also want their partner to be only committed to them, no?

thedarkracer · 2024-07-23T12:24:33+00:00

Did it say anywhere that decrease in testosterone is the reason women lose attraction?

So basically, women are enforcing a situation where they want men to be with 1 woman

Why do I think you want polygamy for men and are saying that if a man stays with 1 woman it's bad so fuck multiple so that they don't lose attraction?

To add, fatherhood is also a factor in decrease of testosterone. Usually we hear that when men don't take care of kids is when women decide to go for divorce and divorced dads are less likely to spend time with their kids. If dads are actively involved in childcare, they are less likely to be divorced but still have lower testosterone.

EqualSea2001 · 2024-07-23T13:17:32+00:00

I am back and found another study that contradicts ‘women divorcing men because of their low testosterone levels’:

‘The analysis shows that men producing more testosterone are less likely to marry and more likely to divorce. Once married they are more likely to leave home because of troubled marital relations, extramarital sex, hitting or throwing things at their spouses, and experiencing a lower quality of marital interaction.’

https://www.jstor.org/stable/2579857#:~:text=The%20analysis%20shows%20that%20men,lower%20quality%20of%20marital%20interaction.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-07-23T13:00:25+00:00

Your study doesn’t say anything about long term or marriage. It just says committed romantic relationship.

I guess this means that all of the men here whining about the ~70% of 18-29 year old men who aren’t in a committed romantic relationship should stfu since they aren’t losing testosterone and thus attraction then? I mean you can’t have it both ways 🤷‍♀️

In addition, low testosterone doesn’t seem to correlate to any of the most common reasons for divorce…

“Women often feel less satisfied in marriages due to unmet emotional needs, poor communication, and lack of independence. The unequal division of domestic chores and childcare responsibilities, even when both partners work full-time, contributes to marital dissatisfaction among women. Infidelity and alcohol addiction are significant factors in many divorces. Women are more likely to cite their husband's affairs as a reason for divorce, while alcohol abuse leads to stress and decreased marital satisfaction. Physical and emotional violence is a major cause of divorce, with women being primary victims more often than men.”

https://divorce.com/blog/who-initiates-divorce-more/

bassvel · 2024-07-23T13:52:53+00:00

That's so indeed. My wife lost attraction to me after first 4.5 years of marriage, after that I've tried (hard) to regain it for 6 years in vain, before it turned into total emotional & physical neglecting of me

EqualSea2001 · 2024-07-23T12:22:20+00:00

Not getting married solves nothing:

‘Furthermore, the testosterone levels of married men and unmarried men who were involved in committed, romantic relationships did not differ, suggesting that, at least for this sample, male pair bonding status is the more significant predictor of testosterone levels than is marital status.’

Downtown_Cat_1173 · 2024-07-23T12:15:39+00:00

Did the study indicate that testosterone levels decreased? Or maybe low-testosterone men make better husbands

SocrateandAthena · 2024-07-23T12:29:22+00:00

I'm perfectly fine with the decrease of testosterone of my man over time. 10 years ago we used to spend our weekends in bed and enjoy ourselves constantly. Now that we are parents in addition to be lovers, we just dont have the same amount of time or energy to do so. That's ok. That's just life going on.

Unable_Evidence_4028 · 2024-07-23T15:37:13+00:00

How about just never getting married in the first place and divorcing/breaking up if you already married/dating? It is ridiculous the number of men who stay with women they hate exclusively because they don't think they can get sex elsewhere.

2024-07-23T16:36:14+00:00

The initial attraction wasn’t there from the start. It was just 2 ppl too scared to be alone.

When husband material men have to jump trough an obstacle park to prove that they are serious. Then that let’s you already know how the rest will be.

Westernation · 2024-07-23T20:58:45+00:00

I think our modern society makes men AND women a lot more self centered than they were historically. And less willing to focus on the health of their relationships as a result.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-07-23T13:56:10+00:00

Never get married

From the abstract:

To test this hypothesis, 122 male Harvard Business School students filled out a questionnaire and collected one saliva sample (from which testosterone level was measured). Results revealed that men in committed, romantic relationships had 21% lower testosterone levels than men not involved in such relationships. Furthermore, the testosterone levels of married men and unmarried men who were involved in committed, romantic relationships did not differ, suggesting that, at least for this sample, male pair bonding status is the more significant predictor of testosterone levels than is marital status.

AutoModerator · 2024-07-23T12:09:00+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Ok_Landscape_592 · 2024-07-23T17:08:55+00:00

How much of this is b/c women marry men they weren't sufficiently attracted to in the first place but decided to settle b/c of betabuxx benefits?

2024-07-24T04:39:57+00:00

It's more like there was no attraction to begin with.

Professional_Chair28 · 2024-07-23T12:31:02+00:00

Why are you conflating low testosterone in men with less attraction from women?

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-07-23T13:28:10+00:00

I'm amused by all of the science you had to use to argue your title. You don't even have to convince me of your title point of "women lose attraction to men more".

You only have to wash a dude's laundry, pick up after him, make his meals, remind him to take his meds or exercise, schedule his doctors' appointments for him, etc other methods of treating him like a 13 year old, so many times before your attraction to him matches your attraction to a 13 year old.

SteveSan82 · 2024-07-24T04:26:41+00:00

Women are not realistic

cheeseguard · 2024-07-23T17:47:11+00:00

Contrary to what has been told, marriage has no benefit for men. Bigger share of income in families go to women and product of marriage, kids, stay with women till old age. Men are discarded or die early. Marriage provide safe early sex and wealth for women while men are sexless in their 20s saving wealth to be eligible for Marriage or paying for prostitution or prostitution in disguise - when you pay for dates 100%. Feminism is best thing that happened to men to really evaluate benefits of marriage. So stop meaningless anger towards women, look for yourself and enjoy freedoms of modern days. Don’t be mules for life.

uglysaladisugly · 2024-07-23T12:22:37+00:00

Generally, I believe most people would have far more fulfilling romantic LTR if they refrained to live together. I also believe that the social fabric would greatly improve and get less fragmented as people may be forced to live with other fellow humans more "commonly" and be less prone to end up socially ostracized only staying home with their partners.

AutoModerator · 2024-07-23T12:09:00+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2024-07-25T07:48:23+00:00

Good thing dick pills exist I guess

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-07-27T00:44:16+00:00

Factor in the rates of alpha widowing today and it’s more important than ever to be “the” guy instead of “the right guy at the right time”.

hostility_kitty · 2024-07-23T14:52:48+00:00

I lose attraction when I come home from a 12 hour shift to a sink full of dishes that wasn’t there when I left.

Bleedingeck · 2024-07-23T14:34:16+00:00

https://defeatproject2025.org/

Careful_Medium9456 · 2024-07-24T07:42:50+00:00

A women would be like , “ this ugly guy here is my husband “ to their friend. Those exact words

toasterchild · 2024-07-24T00:30:47+00:00

What are men protecting themselves from? Being in LTRs and marriage? You know that people in LTRs have way more sex overall then people who are single, right?

wtknight · 2024-07-23T12:27:25+00:00

Men need to protect themselves from this stuff

That’s debatable. An argument can be made that this is a natural process as it benefits children and, thus, a man’s genes to have a father around with their mother in a long-term relationship of some kind rather than constantly pursuing new women.

SaBahRub · 2024-07-23T13:09:41+00:00

Anything long term is about complacency

flipsidetroll · 2024-07-23T16:09:58+00:00

Ok. Let’s debate. Men don’t lose testosterone by simply being married. They lose it when they have children. Now, since you are redpilled, let’s think WHY evolution would make this happen. Hmmm. What is one of the traits of high testosterone? It’s rage. Temper. Whatever name you want to give it. So evolution made a man’s rage diminish after offspring. Could it be because he may have posed a danger to his offspring? Or his partner? We’ll need a lot more research to know. But sure is something to think about.

Women are NOT not attracted to men with low testosterone. Yes that is a double negative for a reason. How do we know this? Most endurance athletes, even young ones, have low testosterone. They have muscles, fame, fit, everything a professional athlete can have, and they have partners who are attracted to them. And most people don’t even realise they have low T until they are tested. So out the window goes that completely bs statement.

Now, for women…. Most people don’t know that women have an ability to “smell” genetic compatibility. It’s due to a cluster of genes. So either her genes had crossed paths with his in previous generations, or the combination could cause genetic mutations. But the BC pill switches off this ability. So essentially, it changes who women are attracted to. After having kids, and around a common age, most women go off the Pill. And now all of a sudden, she may now find herself no longer attracted to her partner. Try and describe why, and the only way anyone would be able to, would be because of feelings, as so few people are aware of this information. Of course more research would have to be done, but now you know this. And from this little discussion, you can adjust your bias against women and acknowledge it’s a number of factors that can cause divorces, some biological.

If you want to keep blaming women, try and keep up with the latest research so you don’t come across like an unintelligent turnip. Women aren’t attracted to turnips. And actually admitting you may be wrong, is actual accountability. So let’s see if you can walk the talk.

uterine_blackmail · 2024-07-24T00:20:49+00:00

Everybody loses attraction, men or women. Contrary to what romcoms tell us, it is physiologically impossible to stay attracted to the same person. It's a lie. Making sure you're eating clean and healthy has no repercussions on whether you are attracted to someone or not. You should eat clean anyway, but that is not the point. Women lose attraction to men, men lose attraction to women.

On a separate but related note, I have noticed that men who talk a lot about enjoying cunnilingus have small dicks and want to compensate

boom-wham-slam · 2024-07-23T12:35:12+00:00

Has nothing to do with testosterone. Has to do with respect.

referendum · 2024-07-23T13:08:35+00:00

Speaking strictly from a materialist perspective, men and women have tendencies toward both commitment and infidelity.

Most women prefer a man who behaves in a way that indicates a certain level of testosterone in the beginning of a relationship, and prefer him to have his testosterone lower during the relationship. That is why men's testosterone drops and it is not a reason for a woman to leave him.

Men in committed relationships appear more attractive to women, even when the women don't know the guy is in a committed relationship. This is evidence that testosterone is less important than you might think. The same guy in a committed relationship will appear less attractive a few months after his previous relationship ended.

Women prefer a man who has more testosterone than what she normally prefers during ovulation, so I suspect some men who have a close connection with their wives would naturally boost their testosterone to match her cycle. This could help some marriages to some degree.

VietQuads · 2024-07-23T13:49:32+00:00

we could interpret that to be an incentive for men to stay in shape, no?

Cunning_Linguists_ · 2024-07-23T14:39:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

David-Metty · 2024-07-23T22:34:49+00:00

Married men don’t have to have lower testosterone. The reason it lowers is because typically married men don’t move around as much. Less physical activity means lowered testosterone. Stay active and you don’t need to worry about it. Also don’t become obese and don’t jerk off so much.

delusional-gf · 2024-07-23T18:50:01+00:00

Ok wow

The study was conducted at one point in time. They told all the men “here we’re doing this test” and then compared results. This just shows us where their T levels are right now. In order to see an increase or decrease, we would have to have our starting point, the test now, and then test everyone again way down the line in the future. But because the study DIDN’T do that, it’s just showing T levels right now at this exact moment in time.

“A recent meta-analysis, summarizing the results of 45 human studies, found a consistent, positive relationship between aggression and T.”

It’s right there in the intro. Maybe just maybe the men with lower testosterone have less aggression, and that makes them a better potential partner, and that’s why women stick with them and have long term relationships.

Also this study was done with a bunch of men from business school, and as someone who also did business school, these are all frat guys. That alone should tell you enough lol

Also saying that lower T has men losing attractiveness for their women is completely incorrect and not even what your study linked says. Your study talks about the competition among men to attract women. Peacocking. All the study is saying is that higher T means you do more peacocking and lower T means you do less. It’s not about the attraction towards women- it’s about the competition with other men.

Neither_Swing_6110 · 2024-07-23T14:00:10+00:00

idc, the only thing I care about is white people being replaced in white countries and feminism ruining the family unit

eli_ashe · 2024-07-24T00:34:25+00:00

the link to the article, despite the title, doesn't really support what you are saying. it doesn't purport a link between attractiveness, it reports a link to assertiveness. and the link is weak and pretty wishy washy. as is most of scientific studies these days.

basically bullshit.

i agree that women more than men tend to lose their desire towards their long term lovers, and that that is why women tend to initiate divorces more oft, i'd add that i think it is also a major cause of why there is domestic unhappiness more generally.

but i'd say that it has far more to do with the lack of effort on the part of women to maintain their lovers as lovers, as in, there is an expectation that men ought be doing something towards their long term lovers to keep it going, to show affection, initiate stuff, and so forth.

so when that falters in any way, the woman in the relationship isn't in a position to carry their weight in the lovers dynamic. they just feel neglected or unwanted, etc.....

note that this metric would meet better with the study OP cites, tho i would never depend upon my arguments with a 'scientific study', people can manipulate that shit to make it say and mean whatever they want.

Title	Women lose attraction to their husbands more than the reverse, and that's why women divorce much more often
Author	Cunning_Linguists_
Upvotes	99
Comments	327
Date	July 23, 2024 12:08 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ea67mo/women_lose_attraction_to_their_husbands_more_than/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-lose-attraction-to-their-husbands-more-than.1525089 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525089

Comments