CMV: when dating, the burden should be on males to prove themselves

SamuraiGoblin · 2024-08-11T17:15:14+00:00

Sure, that works for a traditional/unequal relationship, it doesn't work in a world of equality. Why should men pay for everything when there is pay parity? Why does a man have to prove his leadership to a woman who doesn't want to be led? Can't have it both ways.

"What do you bring to the table?" is a simple, straightforward question to determine if a relationship is going to be one-sided and exploitative or not.

Innocent_boi_77 · 2024-08-11T17:23:00+00:00

This user and her toxic views just uhhh 😮‍💨.

Anyways why do you think dating is performative?

Arch_Null · 2024-08-11T17:38:14+00:00

Prove myself? Bitch pls 😂.

You get what you see. This whole "dance monkey dance" nonsense women want is just another way women show off their covert narcissism. This post is for the boys with no self esteem lol.

Plazmatron44 · 2024-08-11T18:59:24+00:00

It always has been on men to prove themselves, women are more than happy to let men continue jumping through hoops for them given how much it benefits them but get all pissy about things like hypergamy and Briffault's law being discussed because anything that doesn't portray women as perfect goddesses is seen as a threat.

Women are either equal to men and should have equal responsibility in things like dating or they aren't, you can't have both.

DreaminInChocolate · 2024-08-11T19:57:54+00:00

No, first you PROVE you can do the job, THEN we'll discuss compensation.

That's a sex worker. Just say that.

FirmQuarter6623 · 2024-08-11T20:42:22+00:00

Men have to 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...10251.

Meanwhile, a woman just have to be present.

That's exactly what men should avoid at all cost. If you proving yourself to someone, it means you put that person higher than you. It's a definition of pedestalizing, she's your boss and you're subordinate.

blarginfajiblenochib · 2024-08-11T17:11:13+00:00

We know this to be true by simply observing traditional dating and courting behaviors

Who is the authority on whether traditional dating structures and behaviors are “correct”? Dating looked much different 100 years ago, just as it did 1000 and 10,000 years ago, all the way back to the beginning of humans. Just because evidence suggests that our early ancestors had orgies doesn’t mean that it’s applicable in modern times for orgies to be the healthiest or best way for humans to be intimate, and the same holds true for “traditional dating and courting behaviors.”

fundamentally_comfy · 2024-08-11T18:58:56+00:00

Why doesn't the woman prove she is courageous, interested, responsible and so on?

ARecipeForCake · 2024-08-11T17:15:18+00:00

Nah, bein as how I'm of the apparently contentious opinion(For men in general) that I actually have something of value to offer a woman, I think it's me who's gonna be needing this proven by her, at least insofar as much as it constitutes a mutual and equal effort.
Huh. Sounds like the sort of thing that would be easy to figure out if you were willing to put a mutual effort into getting to know me. Not sure why this is a "burden" that is on a "side". If you think i'm inclined to date a woman who can't show initiative in 2024 then you are sadly mistaken. As "men" we didn't make "equal space" for women just so they could flop back to traditional gender roles every time intimidating little things like "initiative" enter the equation.
Men are not women's "entertainment" and expecting men to be "entertaining" is a red flag that you are liable to get bored of a stable and healthy relationship. As for everything else in this point, as the man, again, of the apparently contentious notion that I have anything to offer a woman at all, I expect these things to be proven to me by her as well, in a mutual effort.

All in all I'd say your post demonstrates a pattern of objectifying your potential male suitors, and a fundamental inability to empathize with the male condition. Wish you the best in your human experience.

Fabulous_HonestTea · 2024-08-11T17:50:54+00:00

Meanwhile, the men she’s actually attracted to don’t invest an ounce of time or money or commitment and still fuck her whenever they want.

A man’s face is how he “proves” himself.

Warm_Position_8889 · 2024-08-11T18:18:09+00:00

DO NOT IMMORTALIZED WOMEN. THEY WILL JUST EMPTY YOUR POCKET AND ON TO NEXT MAN THATS BETTER LOOKIN AND MORE MONEY THAN U.

DO THE REVERSE. LEAVE WOMEN ALONE .CHANGE THE CULTURE

sexual_powerhouse · 2024-08-11T22:36:29+00:00

I'm good, being physically attractive works way better than doing the dancing monkey routine.

McPigg · 2024-08-11T23:24:09+00:00

Why are many of these threads try to push the responsibility for things to one gender? Listen, its a MUTUAL thing. The man screens the women for desired qualities and no gos/red flags, and vice versa, simultanously.

flipsidetroll · 2024-08-11T17:29:12+00:00

Yeah, no, this idea of making men prove themselves just smacks of entitlement.

I think guys should approach first but once numbers are exchanged, I think we all should prove we are decent human beings who don’t kick puppies or eat with our feet. So split the checks, etc etc.

You know, it is possible to actually combine modern and traditional behaviour. Just saying. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2024-08-11T17:39:37+00:00

men have to prove themselves to get access to women and their bodies. women however have to prove themselves to be worthy of being kept around beyond that. otherwise you can enjoy situationships and being somebody's booty call.

Pokedudebro · 2024-08-11T18:17:11+00:00

“We know this to be true by simply observing traditional dating and courting behaviours”

And

“It’s true because it is done in tradition”

Both take tradition as automatically true. The problem lies in tradition not always being true, as many horrible acts are then justified at their moments as they were traditionally done.

shadowrangerfs · 2024-08-11T20:55:01+00:00

Just about every job wants you to show that you can do the job before they hire you. That's why they look at your work experience.

Both men and women have to prove themselves. Women have to prove themselves to men. Especially men that other women want.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-08-12T00:57:21+00:00

Prove myself? How much land does your father own, princess?

Lev-- · 2024-08-12T04:10:09+00:00

Ok sure. Then men should be paid more, have better job opportunities, and more government assitance so they can actually do that

ThamsanqJantjie · 2024-08-12T05:30:59+00:00

It already works this way so…

zoxzoxzo · 2024-08-11T17:50:47+00:00

If only this take was applicable to modern times lol. Such a bs

Specs400 · 2024-08-11T22:59:24+00:00

Yeah, um, no.

xxxMisogenes · 2024-08-11T23:21:19+00:00

What does compensation look like to you? To a man who's applied and passed your test

NinjyCoon · 2024-08-12T04:39:43+00:00

You should both prove you have what each other need or can gain what each other need. No free rides

funfacts_82 · 2024-08-12T08:13:42+00:00

Look all women bring in this scenario is their body and we all know there is enough bodies to masturbate with. If this is your approach to dating its no surprise women end up being used.

I do not have to prove myself. The woman i pick has to. Its not that hard to fuck 5 random chicks a year for fun. If she does not provide value beyond that i will simply jump to the next one in line.

silverhippo15 · 2024-08-11T17:12:58+00:00

Men are out there applying for jobs with shit pay. Sex doesn't have the pull it used to.

Imissjuicewrld999 · 2024-08-11T17:05:36+00:00

women always say they hate, and that they dont want ANY man approaching them, i can provide links to women saying this from multiple communities, saying they cant wait till their 50 or 60 so they dont get asked out for coffee.
ive asked women for their numbers. this is the same as number one anyway.

3.never been on a date, and when ive asked women out on dates, they demand expensive gifts and shit too, i had one woman say i needed to get her a car. And if i couldnt afford a new car, i couldnt afford ANY woman.

question is, wtf do you bring to the table besides a wet diseased hole?

BrainMarshal · 2024-08-11T19:52:01+00:00

Women like you are driving men out of the dating game entirely. Your sense of entitlement is out of this whole world.

Love-Is-Selfish · 2024-08-11T17:47:40+00:00

DISCLAIMER: women are also doing some measure of proving along the way too. Good conversationalist, attractive, compatible, etc

This is partially why your view is mistaken. Guys should take the initiative and demonstrate who they are first, but women are just as required to demonstrate who they are second. It’s an equal burden. The reason guys should demonstrate first is because they naturally have more control in sex and in physical action. Since guys have more control, then it’s easier for them to demonstrate, someone has to go first, so men should go first, so an equal effort is different between the sexes.

Yes, the “what do you bring to the table” question is dumb for many reasons.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-08-11T18:05:59+00:00

I think whoever is interested more should apply the pressure.

topforce · 2024-08-11T18:33:56+00:00

This is why the question, "What do you bring to the table?" was so absurd and controversial. It's like applying for a job and before the interview asking for a raise. No, first you PROVE you can do the job, THEN we'll discuss compensation.

Have you ever had paid job? You don't ask for a raise, but you do discuss salary and other benefits during job interview.

TheRedPillRipper · 2024-08-11T21:00:36+00:00

My Retort to ‘the women have it easier’ Post.

control the world

The few that control the world, are not slaves to sex. There is a level of self control required, to get to the top echelons in any endeavour. Then stay there. This fact is universal. It transcends Gender. Politics. Sports. Nature.

In general, a life of ease isn’t determined by what’s between their legs. It’s best determined by what’s beteeen their ears.

Godspeed and good luck!

just_a_place · 2024-08-12T06:09:13+00:00

"Proving ourselves" is not a burden. It's a challenge! 😎

And guess what? It's possible to burden ourselves out of your league. Also it's our prerogative to choose with whom we wish to prove ourselves to. If our peacoking doesn't rock your boat, we have the right to ditch that effort and move on to the next girl.

Also, it is our right to drop the relationship - assuming any such thing ever evolves - at any time, and for any reason.

So, if scrounging a date with a girl turns out to be as stressful and burdensome as a job interview and then, assuming we get the job, come to find out that it actually is a job that we signed up for then it should surprise no one that we will either demand a wage (sex) or quit. It's only fair.

obviousredflag · 2024-08-12T11:27:35+00:00

Humans have mutual mate choice. Unless you want to be reduce to a fuck toy that gets discarded after a night, you need to prove to men that you are equally desirable partners to them.

cameron339 · 2024-08-12T16:54:45+00:00

Ahh so you don't believe in equality then?

KamuiObito · 2024-08-12T17:25:35+00:00

. So men just runs the world while women dates a man that running the world..why are we considered equals again?

GolcondaOni · 2024-08-12T19:49:09+00:00

I can guarantee you if you think men that are actually worth a damn are going to jump through hoops for you for beauty alone, you’re dead wrong.

It’s likely you’re not that attractive to warrant that. The men who did it are probably desperate and/or your actual match relationship market wise.

This sub is littered with struggling people, but I can assure you that standards increase for men as well. My criteria for women definitely increased the more I stabilized and accomplished things.

Also too, please remember, as much as a woman can be beautiful, many men find a lot of women beautiful which evens the playing field among them. That’s when other aspects are now being considered. Judging by your narcissistic post, I probably would ghost you and your ass would be wondering why.

qwertyuduyu321 · 2024-08-11T17:25:34+00:00

when dating, the burden should be on males to prove themselves

The burden IS on males by the very design of male and female biology. Very rarely you have men who have a long list of "applicants" which they then choose from...

It's like saying 9 should be greater than 8. Well, turns out 9 is already greater than 8.

Cunning_Linguists_ · 2024-08-11T18:08:46+00:00

I disagree. Men are the prize, so women should be proving themselves to men. Most women don't bring anything but a pussy, so you gotta prove you're more than that.

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John_Oakman · 2024-08-11T18:09:23+00:00

There's different ways of proving different things.

Law & social norm abiding males do those performative actions to prove themselves as docile and contributing members of society.
Based & redpilled real men of the manosphere refuse to partake in those performative actions, thus proving themselves as of superior stock that refuse to bow down to the system, and that they're high value enough to not needing to do those performative actions.

It's the same logic behind branding: yeah they're usually not any better than the generic (and sometimes even worse) but the flex in acquiring them makes it worth the costs.

Workhard4u2024 · 2024-08-11T19:16:55+00:00

“What do you bring to the table” is a sh*t test. You can’t get offended at the question. But it shouldn’t be answered directly either. My favorite response when asked that question was something vague yet witty. Said with a smirk and grin. I’d answer: “depends on the party being thrown. Is it a potluck dinner? Am I hosting and expected to do all the cooking? Or is there a caterer involved?” That usually would elicit a laugh and end the line of questioning. Let them work a little to get the answers they seek.

MouseAware809 · 2024-08-13T14:25:47+00:00

He approaches the woman to shoot his shot. Why? He is PROVING he has courage, interest, and social skills

Just because I approached you, dosn't mean you get a free pass. I am still gonna be screening for red flags. Even if we go on a date, If I do not enjoy it there won't be another.

He asks for her number, texts her first, and plans the date. Why? He is PROVING he can take initiative and responsibility

I'm not doing it to PROVE anything. Its just that for now, I want to see you again as for whatever reason I liked your company.

On the date(s) he shows her a good time, makes her laugh, and pays for everything. Why? He is PROVING he is safe, entertaining, and can provide.

I'm not proving anything. I'm just being me.

This is why the question, "What do you bring to the table?" was so absurd and controversial. It's like applying for a job and before the interview asking for a raise. No, first you PROVE you can do the job, THEN we'll discuss compensation.

If you don't bring anything to the table, ie make me think "Damn I want to see her again" for whatever reason. Nope, I will just NEXT you. There's nothing controversial about that. I can go to job interviews and decide I don't want to work there.

DISCLAIMER: women are also doing some measure of proving along the way too. Good conversationalist, attractive, compatible, etc

If I am a date with a woman who is tryin to "prove" herself, there will be no next date. Also the date won't be as long as it possibly could.

LatterCaterpillar198 · 2024-08-13T21:52:53+00:00

He will get rejected and shamed for not being 6ft.

Beautiful_Bunch_6079 · 2024-08-14T01:00:39+00:00

I date women like this but most women wouldn’t really have what it takes to attract a man willing to do that. And if there’s other men she didn’t require that from she basically is throwing away one of her best leverage points.

I would only be this way for women who had high standards for all men. So even if there was one short term fling or slip up i wouldn’t be in a rush.

Those women that could command that from me usually have this presence about them that shows they mean business but in a soft polite way.

alebruto · 2024-08-15T13:12:40+00:00

This is false in both dating and job interviews, and I live in a country that is more difficult than the USA If what the company offers is not interesting to me, I will go to another company, simple as that. It's worth noting that companies are announcing that they need employees, but I'm not announcing that I need to be hired. Furthermore, nothing you said is a duty, the fact that it works normally asskm does not impose duties on anyone.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-08-11T17:07:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	CMV: when dating, the burden should be on males to prove themselves
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	0
Comments	238
Date	August 11, 2024 4:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1eppmbx/cmv_when_dating_the_burden_should_be_on_males_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-when-dating-the-burden-should-be-on-males-to.1527023 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527023

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