"Husband" is a compliment. "Material" is objectification

AlmostKindaGreat · 2024-12-24T19:10:52+00:00

I don’t think this is about using the word material. It’s about the context.

If a woman told me I’d “make a great husband” or I’m “husband material” I’d take it as a compliment because it could easily mean I’m the “total package”. I would still wonder a bit what she meant, knowing how women can use this kind of phrase, but not jump to conclusions. The context would help me know what she thinks about me.

The examples we’ve seen where guys (very reasonably) freak out is when she says something like. “You’d make a great husband. You’re not like the guys I usually go for.” 🚨🚨🚨 Run as fast as you can. She views you as a boring, unsexy, stable, dependable chump.

The problem is always the other words.

DelDivision · 2024-12-24T15:28:42+00:00

Its borderline on the same level as telling a man that he'll do better with women when he's older. We don't want to be in a situation like travis hunter where she's only there cause of his status and money, basically what he can provide.

And thanks to women online who admitted to using men for food while having sex with others for nothing, dudes are wary of being seen as just husband material.

TinyBlonde15 · 2024-12-24T13:31:06+00:00

Heard. Won't call any man husband material now.

G4M35 · 2024-12-24T14:29:30+00:00

Everyone is missing the real point here: a "compliment" or "offense" lies in the eyes of the recepient, not on the giver, regardless of the intentions.

So, if the recipient of a message is offended, the message is offensive to them; telling them that it's a compliment and not an offense is bouble-offensive.

M3taBuster · 2024-12-24T16:29:51+00:00

Everyone objectifies everyone, and it's not always a bad thing. Objectification is only a problem when you objectify your partner in a way they don't want to be objectified. Yes, most men are insulted when they're told they're "husband material" because they spend a lot of money on their partner, unlike her "asshole exes" (read: he got access to her body for free, but you have to pay a premium).

But no man has ever been offended over being sexually objectified. No man would be insulted if his partner told him he's "husband material" because he has a massive cock. But that's still objectification. It's just objectification you're ok with.

Hunder_YT · 2024-12-25T12:31:06+00:00

Yeah husband material usually means you are boring and unloveable but you have enough to provide for a woman who doesn't really like you

rohanghostwind · 2024-12-24T13:48:31+00:00

I think you’re overthinking this. Normally when women call a guy husband material they’re usually calling him boring.

They wanna party with some other guy, live an exciting lifestyle for a few years and then “settle” for the guy who’s husband material.

Routine-Present-3676 · 2024-12-24T13:50:00+00:00

If you don't ever want to be called that, then speak up and let the women using this term know that you don't feel it applies to you. I'm certain they will be more than happy to never use it about or around you again.

BlackPhillip444 · 2024-12-24T17:45:14+00:00

That's actually true. "Husband material" is objectification and could be even considered a form of love-bombing.

AnonPinkLady · 2024-12-24T18:38:44+00:00

I think you may be overanalyzing the etymology of this but I agree in a general sense that no one should be referred to with objectifying language and called things like "material" but I do not think that is the intended meaning of the phrase. Maybe the word "potential" but I can see how that word still has a negging quality to it as if a person isn't already worthy of that level of commitment. I don't think it's fair to say women have been saying this with that kind of purpose, but it could definitely use updating.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2024-12-25T09:55:12+00:00

For good or bad, today's generation of men have reacted (maybe overreacted) to the greater information available about women who aren't really into their partners sexually, but like them overall.

So men are sensitive now to any insinuation that he isn't truly lusted after, in particular relative to other guys.

alwaysright0 · 2024-12-24T13:01:05+00:00

You're offended by husband material?

MajesticMaple · 2024-12-24T12:55:30+00:00

If you told a very good baseball player he is "MLB material" I don't think he would be offended. It's a fairly common turn of phrase, who is objectified by this?

ExcitementLow4699 · 2024-12-24T14:58:50+00:00

Funny bait. Good job

My_House_on_Mars · 2024-12-24T17:34:54+00:00

I actually agree with this take

Obviously the intention is not to say men are "material" in the literal sense of the word

I'm going to say "husband potential" or something like that

-Kalos · 2024-12-25T20:39:02+00:00

Why are y’all tender over this. Such a non issue.

petellapain · 2024-12-26T10:06:47+00:00

Husband is an insult. It means a man would be an ideal candidate to work and provide for a woman. No one is saying that luigi guy is Husband material. They want his D. That's a compliment

meisterkraus · 2024-12-24T13:05:19+00:00

No. Referring to them as husband material conveys you like them for the duties they are / will perform as a husband not as an individual person. It is the same to women not wanting to be seen as a sex object but rather an individual person.

StupidWhiteBoi · 2024-12-24T17:11:46+00:00

It is an insult if you are dealing with modern American women to be seen as "hubby material". Best way to prove it simply. Is that the vast majority of American women do not see consistent consensual sex as a top priority in marriage, and that's even before the kids get in the picture. It's expensive friendship that women are offering. And most American women don't deal with their child hood trauma, student loan debt, credit card debt, and they don't actively care about making their future husband's life easier. It's all about her and her and she's all about her

Tren_troll · 2024-12-24T12:48:55+00:00

No way, addressing your husband as "husband" is beyond cringe. Introducing someone as your husband is ok though.

Only "hubby" is worse.

Emergency_Macaron940 · 2024-12-24T18:30:49+00:00

I have only ever heard “husband material” as a serious compliment. It is more so a “damn, that is the kind of man I want to marry” in relation to positive traits. Similarly, I have heard “wifey material”. Same thing.

Honestly, it has less to do about the receiver of the compliment and more to do with the giver. They are expressing that this person checks all of their boxes for a good partner. Everyone has different standards and expectations, so naturally the use of it would vary. I am sure there are women who have used it to refer to a man with money. I am sure there are men who have used it to refer to a woman with big tits. That doesn’t define the phrase. In my own experience, I have heard it colloquially used as in relation to positive traits such as kindness and chivalry.

TopShelfSnipes · 2024-12-24T13:52:25+00:00

"Husband material" is a compliment. Period, full stop. "He's the guy you marry, not the guy you fuck/date" is an insult.

That said, I've never actually heard of women saying the second thing other than on the Internet.

In life, "husband material" has only been said to me a handful of times. Maybe...four? If I'm remembering? Three times. was by people I was in a relationship featuring sex with. The other time was a drunken compliment from one of those girls' friends while at a party.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-12-24T14:22:43+00:00

It’s simpler than that. The ones that get offended by husband material think HM=good boy=doormat

What it usually means is: LTR material.

Most dudes are fine with this except the ones that really really want to be casual hookup material.

leosandlattes · 2024-12-24T14:00:18+00:00

Are women going around calling their boyfriends and husbands this? I honestly have only ever heard “husband material” in a detached objective kind of way, like when women on social media describe a hypothetical man. Similar to how men describe an ideal woman as “wife material” but they aren’t talking TO a woman/their woman. They’re just describing some qualities they think wives should have.

mrlunes · 2024-12-24T15:05:16+00:00

It’s more of a figure of speech. Nobody is literally referring to a man has “material”. Saying husband or wife material is just saying they are worthy of a happy marriage. It’s also not a gender specific phrase. Wife material is just as common to hear.

Edit: I kind of see it now after reading some comments. Everyone has different values and views on what a relationship should consist of and who should bring what to it. Telling a man he is husband material because of his high income is pretty objectifying in the same way it would be if you told an attractive woman she was wife material.

Open-Quail-2573 · 2024-12-25T07:17:57+00:00

Bro I don't think it's that deep. I don't find the term offensive. You're basically being as fragile as those ultra blue pill people lol.

ThatBitchA · 2024-12-24T17:15:27+00:00

I told my fiancé this all the time. He took it as a compliment.

If you think everything is an insult, you'll find a way to be upset by every compliment.

Calling someone "husband material" is a compliment.

It's the same as saying, "he's a good man, Savanah."

Same same. It's a compliment.

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ffaancy · 2024-12-24T16:29:41+00:00

Has anyone ever in the history of the world said “it’s ok my husband” or “oh husband”?

Tylikcat · 2024-12-24T21:17:36+00:00

I've usually heard this used by women friends, or even more, inside of families.

"I was so impressed by Doug when you brought him home for dinner. He was well dressed, and polite, and is clearly serious about his academic work. This one might be husband material!"

There is a bit of the implication that your older relative thinks that all your previous boyfriends are creepy losers, but it's definitely well meant towards Doug.

And, of course, there's the older friend of your mom thing "Oh, he's such a cutie, and so mature! He's going to make some girl a great husband!" (Which is more or less the same thing.)

meangingersnap · 2024-12-25T18:51:48+00:00

I thought men are desparate for women to objectify them or something

ArdimAtaraxia · 2024-12-25T19:16:14+00:00

You aren't red pill, OP. Anyone who's actually red pill understands the value of marriage for men today - there is no value. Anything associated with marriage in that regard, like the title of husband, cannot have any value either, and thus cannot be conceived of as a compliment anymore.

Definitions change. People find it insulting now. Deal with it.

Fun_Grab_7148 · 2024-12-25T21:32:16+00:00

I hate this side of reddit lol.

Objectification isn't acknowledging characteristics that makes someone suitable for specific roles, it's when they're treated like objects.

Robert has a full time job, thorough schedule, is never out too late and is focusing on his career. Stephanie is looking for a guy who can go have fun on a whim. She tries it with robert, it doesn't work, she says he's more husband material and that isn't what she's looking for.

It's not objectifying him. It's acknowledging his traits work better for a husband than for s hedonistic relationship.

If she didn't break up with him, tell him it wasn't working, or give any kind of feedback and instead just kept leading him on while cheating with other guys, she is objectifying him because she isn't giving him human decency and treating him like a husband you buy and wait to use.

That's why it's ok to say a girl is hot but not ok to say she's hot and use her for sex instead of treating her like a human.

Evanescent_Being · 2024-12-25T21:35:58+00:00

I mean, it’s kind of the same as wife material. I never thought of husband material or wife material as objectification

DXBrigade · 2024-12-25T23:48:39+00:00

For women, husband material just means that a guy has the whole package (looks, personnality, status), that he is a keeper.

nsfw_trapsarentgay · 2024-12-26T04:37:21+00:00

That depends on the woman saying. A younger woman can say that and it goes two ways, the way you described, and Secondly a genuine compliment or excitement to see a man out of the norm. It isn't directly linked to you having sex with a woman, and in fact you should see all women as friends first before you consider having sex with them. As women should do to men as well.

But older experienced women, who are married saying that....it's very much a compliment. Because they're often stuck in bad relationships.

If a mature woman says you're husband material chances are she wants more from you.

And that's good because mature women are less likely to play games.

Intelligent-Insight · 2024-12-27T23:24:21+00:00

It's not up to women to decide if what they call men is a compliment. Men decide what is a compliment and what is an insult to them.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2024-12-25T15:26:09+00:00

It literally means I love him and want to spend my entire life with him. I want to have his babies. Ehy would I want to spend my entire life with a man that I don't want to fuck?

Afraid-Channel-7523 · 2024-12-24T19:28:28+00:00

Did you read that on self or subreddit drama?

popcorn-ready · 2024-12-25T03:14:08+00:00

What was once a compliment is now an insult.. this world is getting harder and harder

SlashCo80 · 2024-12-25T16:51:31+00:00

I think you're overthinking it and purposely giving it a negative interpretation. When most people say husband or wife material, they just mean that person would be suitable for a relationship. They don't mean they view them as an object or strictly according to their functionality. It takes a warped view and some mental gymnastics to reach that conclusion, imo. Also, context matters.

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-12-24T13:25:50+00:00

Material implies ‘potential’ and can be used fir either gender. Only someone that doesn’t believe other people are allowed to have preferences would be offended by this

PracticalControl2179 · 2024-12-24T16:42:28+00:00

“I don’t hate women, I just conflate them believing I am a good life partner with lack of sexual attraction”

y2kjanelle · 2024-12-25T01:33:06+00:00

I really just think most men who don’t like this term just hate marriage.

Like I could be offended that someone called me wife material because I don’t want to be the stereotype of barefoot and pregnant, nagging, uglier and old, all the negative stereotypes of wives …but im not because those aren’t the things I think of when thinking about being a wife.

HmanTheChicken · 2024-12-24T16:22:01+00:00

It’s impossible to objectively men

Title	"Husband" is a compliment. "Material" is objectification
Author	babazuki
Upvotes	32
Comments	238
Date	December 24, 2024 12:40 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hlcqv8/husband_is_a_compliment_material_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/husband-is-a-compliment-material-is.1539388 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539388

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