I like to call this schrodingers catch: A man who’s simultaneously called a catch by all his female friends standards but yet still struggles to find a woman who will date him.

I’ve seen it play out many painful times. The guy struggles with dating and many of his female friends assure him that any girl would be lucky to have him. Sometimes they may even call him cute. But these same women won’t date him. Sure some of them are in relationships or married but the point still stands. If what he’s experiencing is different than what these people say, that by definition is a lie.

I understand they (your close circle) mean well, care, and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but it’s important that guys don’t take these comments too seriously. Otherwise you will needlessly embarrass yourself. What good is an opinion if it has no bearing in the real world when things are truly tested? None.

The only way to judge if you truly are desirable is to look at how you are treated and your real life experiences. Do women look at you in public? Second glances? Are they more open to sex and relationships with you? Do they buy you things? Do they have the same lust for you that you have for them? Do you get more or less matches relative to the average on apps? Your answers to these questions determine this. It doesn’t matter what your friends or loved ones say, or what redditors say. The proof is in the pudding.

Likewise if people are saying you aren’t a catch/attractive but you do just well with the opposite/same gender, they are lying as well. Just more malevolently.